loosing desire

[smallgirl]

We all understand that people and bodies change over time, but we owe it to each other to do what we can to stay attractive to our partner. I can't count the number of times I've heard men complain that their women have let themselves go after marrige, gaining weight and not taking care of themselves. Well, why shouldn't a woman expect the same from her husband. Especially if she works hard to stay hot.

Me, I let myself get WAY overweight. At one Thanksgiving, my wife took tons of pictures of me, and hung a 11x17 of us in the hallway, and posted a bunch online for our friends and family. I looked so horrible next to her. That day I became a vegitarian for 9 months, and lost 80 pounds. I've gained 20 back, but I will never look like that again.

Also, at that weight, not only was I unattractive to her, but I also felt so fat that the last thing I wanted to think about was sex.

I suggest taking some pictures. I was shocked at what I looked like.

Good luck.

im glad, as a man, you understand what im saying. i hear that from alot of men..she had kids and just let herself go..i dont understand that? when i had both mine, other than being a good mom, my main priority was getting back to my pre pregnancy size and weight. what ever it took. i take care of myself, and my body...and i expect the same in return.

 

[tustin92614]

You have every rightful expectation that your mate should put work into the relationship, both emotional and physical. I took a look at some of the pictures you posted. He is fool for not getting to the gym!!!!!!

i know people change....but i think we have an obligation when we marry to not let ourselves go.

if he weighed 16 yrs ago what he does now? i wouldnt even have went out with him. period.

i keep myself in shape and i want to my partner to do the same. if that makes me frivolous...then im not alone.

im glad, as a man, you understand what im saying. i hear that from alot of men..she had kids and just let herself go..i dont understand that? when i had both mine, other than being a good mom, my main priority was getting back to my pre pregnancy size and weight. what ever it took. i take care of myself, and my body...and i expect the same in return.

 

[smallgirl]

You have every rightful expectation that your mate should put work into the relationship, both emotional and physical. I took a look at some of the pictures you posted. He is fool for not getting to the gym!!!!!!

hes trying...he walks with me now every night when hes home, and he tries to watch his junk food. which i just quit buying it so???? he is one of those people who can look at food and gain weight, and im not. but if i were, i would work even harder. i dont ever want to be any different then the size i am now.

 

[tustin92614]

Hey, that sounds very hopeful!! My wife set some fun motivational goals for me. No time pressure on meeting them, but when I did, she rewarded me very well!! It's great you're walking with him!!! We also went window shopping for clothes that I would look good in when I got to my goal weight. I hope things work out for you and him.

hes trying...he walks with me now every night when hes home, and he tries to watch his junk food. which i just quit buying it so???? he is one of those people who can look at food and gain weight, and im not. but if i were, i would work even harder. i dont ever want to be any different then the size i am now.

 

[frdrcnjohn]

Kind of the same here my wife has gained a lot of weight and to me she is not desireable and I am in good shape 5 lbs over weight. I do not know if my marriage is worth saving, I love my wife just not in love wiyh her now, I do hope you can save yours, it sounds like your man is at least going to try.

 

[paulthewetcd]

once you loose your desire for your s/o, how do you get it back. or can you? if they've changed(physically) into someone you dont like, what do you do?

We go through cycles, and we have changed over time. We endure, keeping in mind some of our original lust, but also making a commitment to each other that we want to stay together and make each other happy. It is hard work, sometimes.

 

[Primalex]

We go through cycles

especially the threads. We have 2010 now, if you didn't notice.

 

[storyreader84]

Thoughts... spend some time, money and effort in the relationship doing fun things you might not do as much anymore... nicer dinners dressed up, to perk emotional/mental interest. Get some new sexy stuff for the bedroom. What about starting walks (kids? strollers? Park?), cycling, gym, swimming, etc together and spending the energy doing that stuff and eating better (typically starts with shopping better)... Just some thoughts, hope one helps but it will probably take a lot of effort and energy but I am sure it will be worth it!