Looking for that frisson again

[jhe1950]

OMG now I am torn...who do I run to...John and his doublewide? Or EA in the British country side? hummmm I just don't know... one potato, two potato or is it pA tA toe in England. I need to make a pros and cons list. I'll be back

There should hardly be any doubt. Despite his charm, his distance still remains nothing but a fantasy. With me you could buy a Greyhound ticket this afternoon, and be at Cecil's truck stop by tomorrow, and that's Wednesday so the beer special will be in effect. (Damb life is beautiful.) The hot dogs smell a little funny, but I have a half dozen M-80's and the creek isn't too far away so we could have a wonderful fish fry, (I hope you like carp.) Hell, I'll even send Bobby Jo to Wal Mart this afternoon to buy me some of em new fangled teeth they gots.
(I lost my other set a couple of years ago having a coughing fit in the outhouse, and swore off non filtered cigs at that time, yeppers nothin' but the best light filters for me now.)

Hell, I'll even steal a couple of lounge chairs from that park pool, (haven't been using 'em much since the filter system failed in '93, and I promise to wash the stains off of the little lady's favorite halter. <damn she looks hot in it, all 375lbs of her>)

Anyway I'm obviously smitten with you

John

 

[Inrhapsody]

There should hardly be any doubt. Despite his charm, his distance still remains nothing but a fantasy. With me you could buy a Greyhound ticket this afternoon, and be at Cecil's truck stop by tomorrow, and that's Wednesday so the beer special will be in effect. (Damb life is beautiful.) The hot dogs smell a little funny, but I have a half dozen M-80's and the creek isn't too far away so we could have a wonderful fish fry, (I hope you like carp.) Hell, I'll even send Bobby Jo to Wal Mart this afternoon to buy me some of em new fangled teeth they gots.
(I lost my other set a couple of years ago having a coughing fit in the outhouse, and swore off non filtered cigs at that time, yeppers nothin' but the best light filters for me now.)

Hell, I'll even steal a couple of lounge chairs from that park pool, (haven't been using 'em much since the filter system failed in '93, and I promise to wash the stains off of the little lady's favorite halter. <damn she looks hot in it, all 375lbs of her>)

Anyway I'm obviously smitten with you

John

hahahaha..such class. Not sure I can resist that. Umm EA..help me out here. Maybe you and INS can take up a collection and send for me. IMS..what do you have to offer here.

 

[ItNeverSets]

So much to offer!!

hahahaha..such class. Not sure I can resist that. Umm EA..help me out here. Maybe you and INS can take up a collection and send for me. IMS..what do you have to offer here.

Well IR, it sounds like John has thrown down the gauntlet, a challenge to see who lives more like Earl Hickey! But don't worry, over at the other side of the pond we live live life in an altogether sort of trailer park... Sorry have to go now, I'm late for tea at Buckingham Palace!

 

[jhe1950]

hahahaha..such class. Not sure I can resist that. Umm EA..help me out here. Maybe you and INS can take up a collection and send for me. IMS..what do you have to offer here.

Well IR, it sounds like John has thrown down the gauntlet, a challenge to see who lives more like Earl Hickey! But don't worry, over at the other side of the pond we live live life in an altogether sort of trailer park... Sorry have to go now, I'm late for tea at Buckingham Palace!

I once bucked a ham in a palace, no wait that was getting porked at the county jail. Sorry get confused sometimes, a bad boutr with moonshine years, (or was it months), ago. Anyway INS I'd be happy to entertain you as well here at Hog Waller Trailer park, and thanks for letting me in.

Oh wait now I remember it was Earl Jean hollerin' into his old lady from the bar-b-que pit, "Who stole my Fuckin' Ham?" Just knew Buckingham sounded familiar. (By the way that was a damn good ham.)

John

 

[Inrhapsody]

hahahaha..such class. Not sure I can resist that. Umm EA..help me out here. Maybe you and INS can take up a collection and send for me. IMS..what do you have to offer here.

Well IR, it sounds like John has thrown down the gauntlet, a challenge to see who lives more like Earl Hickey! But don't worry, over at the other side of the pond we live live life in an altogether sort of trailer park... Sorry have to go now, I'm late for tea at Buckingham Palace!

Buckingham Palace..what a great name for a trailer park. Makes it sound so posh.

 

[jhe1950]

Buckingham Palace..what a great name for a trailer park. Makes it sound so posh.

I'm falling in love with you, as you now revealed you're illiterate as hell. Tell me you only have three teeth left and I'll Western Union you $10 so you can eat something on the bus here.

Actually had you been able to read, you'd know the trailer park's name is Hog Waller, hell no one here could even say Buckingham, foget spelling it.

All my filthy lust , ooops I mean sweet love
John

 

[jhe1950]

hahahaha..such class. Not sure I can resist that. Umm EA..help me out here. Maybe you and INS can take up a collection and send for me. IMS..what do you have to offer here.

Well IR, it sounds like John has thrown down the gauntlet, a challenge to see who lives more like Earl Hickey! But don't worry, over at the other side of the pond we live live life in an altogether sort of trailer park... Sorry have to go now, I'm late for tea at Buckingham Palace!

ooops pardon me, They didn't teach the alphabet til 3rd grade and I still get my letters mixed up. Seeing as I never made it past 2nd, (though I did spend 11 years there before they carted me off to jail as an adult offender), I had to teach myself. Kinda cute lil' song but I'm still confused at times thought your were INA.

 

[Wings27]

My name is something that I made up earlier. It's origins lie in my dream of writing a book, the first line of which was always destined to be "Concrete never sets". It's a fact that I learnt many years ago and it stuck in my potato shaped head.

The older concrete gets, the harder it becomes. This conjures visions in my mind of something that is always on a journey, never arriving at a destination. This is my view on life, I will never be where I want to be. There is always something new to sense, to feel, to explore.

Am I deep or what!? I need more beer methinks!

I am looking forward to meeting and experiencing new things and people!

Oh my golly, did he just quote a concrete fact???? EA, what a lovely friend you have! (I work in concrete, no, not actually IN concrete, but with it and not shoes either).

 

[Wings27]

So ItNeverSets, the man who quotes concrete facts...how have you found our fair Lit? This world is so very interesting, so many wonderful people, full of peverse lusts and wonderful longings, even some laughs and sarcasm if you look closely. I'm happy to see that you've risen out of EA's spare room to join the rest of the world, you'll like us here-we have candy. Tell us a bit more about yourself, even though EA made it sound like I have a lot to tell, I don't. I'd rather learn about everyone else. So we'll start with you. What's your story? And no, I don't mean the book inside of you (note: EA, I'm leaving that obvious joke alone). Welcome to this world, don't be scared, we don't bite unless you ask really nicely.

 

[Inrhapsody]

So ItNeverSets, the man who quotes concrete facts...how have you found our fair Lit? This world is so very interesting, so many wonderful people, full of peverse lusts and wonderful longings, even some laughs and sarcasm if you look closely. I'm happy to see that you've risen out of EA's spare room to join the rest of the world, you'll like us here-we have candy. Tell us a bit more about yourself, even though EA made it sound like I have a lot to tell, I don't. I'd rather learn about everyone else. So we'll start with you. What's your story? And no, I don't mean the book inside of you (note: EA, I'm leaving that obvious joke alone). Welcome to this world, don't be scared, we don't bite unless you ask really nicely.

Oh...Wings darling, lovely clevage in your profile picture.

 

[RuneBlade]

Oh...Wings darling, lovely clevage in your profile picture.

Yes, it haunts me.

 

[ItNeverSets]

My story

Oh Wings, I can always be tempted by candy, it can make me confess to anything!

So, you want to know my story. I now have to lift the lid on things that I don't tell to just anyone but here I feel safe.

I grew up in a small town in an area of England that is mainly farming and tourism. I always knew that there was a big world out there but none of my friends or family seemed to have the desire to explore it. I couldn't stay in that sort of environment and I found an escape route at the tender age of 16: The Army. My family were proud of me for being one of the first family members to ever get on an aeroplane. In my home town people still look up and point when aircraft fly over!

It was in Germany where I met EA. I will save the story of what he was doing the first time I saw him for another time! I met a nice German girl, got married and had 2 wonderful children who are now 14 and 12 years old. It ended in divorce though but it was over long before any legal proceedings had started. Without thinking twice, I jumped head long into the next relationship. I got married again after 5 years living together, she left 2 weeks before our second wedding anniversary. It hit me real hard because I was so happy and had no idea there was a problem. That was 2 months ago.

For those of you taking off your socks to do the maths, I will help you out. I am now 40 years old. I wish I could say older and wiser, but I don't think that is the case.

There has always been a private side of my life. I have slowly corrupted women but I have never had a chance to fufill totally my fantasies. Exactly what they are I will only say in PM's at the moment. Ask nice and I will tell!

Now I find myself without female companionship for the first time in more than 20 years. EA is always telling me to enjoy it but I have realised that I'm only ever happy when making someone else happy. To make things worse, I'm not yet ready to talk to women in the real world. Having had my fingers burned, I have become shy and scared, even skittish.

So you lot are my introduction into the world again. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to gently help me back on my feet and convince me that there are good folk in the world again.

I hope I haven't depressed you all too much!

 

[Inrhapsody]

Oh Wings, I can always be tempted by candy, it can make me confess to anything!

So, you want to know my story. I now have to lift the lid on things that I don't tell to just anyone but here I feel safe.

I grew up in a small town in an area of England that is mainly farming and tourism. I always knew that there was a big world out there but none of my friends or family seemed to have the desire to explore it. I couldn't stay in that sort of environment and I found an escape route at the tender age of 16: The Army. My family were proud of me for being one of the first family members to ever get on an aeroplane. In my home town people still look up and point when aircraft fly over!

It was in Germany where I met EA. I will save the story of what he was doing the first time I saw him for another time! I met a nice German girl, got married and had 2 wonderful children who are now 14 and 12 years old. It ended in divorce though but it was over long before any legal proceedings had started. Without thinking twice, I jumped head long into the next relationship. I got married again after 5 years living together, she left 2 weeks before our second wedding anniversary. It hit me real hard because I was so happy and had no idea there was a problem. That was 2 months ago.

For those of you taking off your socks to do the maths, I will help you out. I am now 40 years old. I wish I could say older and wiser, but I don't think that is the case.

There has always been a private side of my life. I have slowly corrupted women but I have never had a chance to fufill totally my fantasies. Exactly what they are I will only say in PM's at the moment. Ask nice and I will tell!

Now I find myself without female companionship for the first time in more than 20 years. EA is always telling me to enjoy it but I have realised that I'm only ever happy when making someone else happy. To make things worse, I'm not yet ready to talk to women in the real world. Having had my fingers burned, I have become shy and scared, even skittish.

So you lot are my introduction into the world again. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to gently help me back on my feet and convince me that there are good folk in the world again.

I hope I haven't depressed you all too much!

Well welcome again.

 

[ItNeverSets]

Addendum

Having read through my potted life story I can see that I have only told you of all the unfortunate things that have happened to me. It makes my life sound like a train wreck. This is not the case, it's just that right now I am in a hole that I need to climb out of. Anybody got a ladder?

Of course there is more to me than divorces and depression. I have much in my life that I am proud of. I am slowly starting to see that I am at the start of a long road now, where the road goes is for me to decide!

I stand here now, map in hand. I can go anywhere I want to! It may take me a while to figure out whether to go north or south but I will get there soon.

Friends that I meet along the way can only lighten my load.

 

[ItNeverSets]

The last hour

For the last hour I have started my first attempt at a story to be posted. I've never had the luxury of time to fufill this before so wish me luck! I don't know when it will be finished, but I doubt it will be this week.

Gotta have a break now as Father Ted is starting! If you don't know what that is I can only say "FECK! DRINK! GIRLS!"

 

[Wings27]

Oh...Wings darling, lovely clevage in your profile picture.

Oh doll, you made me blush, literally!

 

[Wings27]

Yes, it haunts me.

Have I mentioned that I like cameras?

 

[Wings27]

Oh Wings, I can always be tempted by candy, it can make me confess to anything!




Now I find myself without female companionship for the first time in more than 20 years. EA is always telling me to enjoy it but I have realised that I'm only ever happy when making someone else happy. To make things worse, I'm not yet ready to talk to women in the real world. Having had my fingers burned, I have become shy and scared, even skittish.

So you lot are my introduction into the world again. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to gently help me back on my feet and convince me that there are good folk in the world again.

I hope I haven't depressed you all too much!

I don't think I could be depressed if I tried, so don't fret about that. Your life sounds lovely actually, even the bad parts. It's amazing what our choices teach us, yes? What a wonderful chance you have right now, the slowly getting back in the "real world" chance. It's exciting and thrilling, I'm sure. And I promise that I can be gentle.

If you find yourself with some time and feel like expressing more in an PM, please feel free. I'm sure eventually I'll make EA's statment come true and start spewing facts about myself but I'm sure I can contain them for a while.

 

[janeyl]

For the last hour I have started my first attempt at a story to be posted. I've never had the luxury of time to fufill this before so wish me luck! I don't know when it will be finished, but I doubt it will be this week.

Gotta have a break now as Father Ted is starting! If you don't know what that is I can only say "FECK! DRINK! GIRLS!"

Ya missed "ARSE!!!"

 

[ItNeverSets]

Sorry, I did forget "ARSE!!" I stand corrected!

 

[katze101]

Hi EA, INS, Wings, IR, and all the other lovely people who haunt this thread. Haven't been much here lately; just thought to drop by and say hello. Hope all is well with everyone, and have a nice day!

 

[ItNeverSets]

Hello Back!

Hello back to you katze. I muss frage, warum is diene name katze? Aber bitte nict auf deutch anworten, es ist viele jahre seit ich habe deutch benutz!

 

[EnglishAgain]

Like coming home.....

I began where I should have, at the beginning and kudos not only to you EA, but your wee buddie north of you. I have little clever to add, my somewhat feeble accross the "pond" mind still stuggling with words longer than one syllable, other than my unique ability to shout through the double wide. "Honey get me another damn PBR!" Then listen contendly as my lovely niece, grand daughter, mother and aunt rolled into one stammers to the plastic cooler, dips her hands into the now melting ice, and races back to hold the antenna before the commercials end so I can continue watching professional wrestling.

Frankly I find you very amusing, and I think you'd be a spectacular hit here at the trailer park, so be sure to keep track of me should you ever visit stateside. I would even do the honor of taking the 'maro off the blocks, searching through the weeds, finding four bald tires and driving to pick you up at the bus stop. (Try to make it on a Wednesday, as that's when they have their beer and cigarette specials and I'm not sure I can siphon enough gas for more than one round trip into town.)

Anyway, gotta run, the little lady's bitching about the outhouse being backed up again, so it looks like I have something to do this afternoon.

I'll post more later after I again change my identity so I can get away from the sexual preditor list.

Yours always
John

Daddy? Papa? Is that you? Hot diggedy, all these long years a-searchin and there y'all were on the other side of that old Camaro? Well I'll be jiggered.

To be honest, once the social services people had had enough of my pyromania all those years ago when ya abandoned me, I managed to wheedle a flight across to England and ingratiated myself into a wealthy family who sent me off to a top class boarding school. Pity it was for pets, but I learned most of my stuff there, like reading and writing and how to sniff out cocaine from airplane luggage. It was also there that I met M'Buto, my wacky Nigerian friend who likes to assassinate people for fun. When I told him how you abandoned me he said he would "hunt you down like a dog and tear off your testicles before pushing them through a tea strainer in front of your very eyes." I think he liked you. Anyway, I was going to send him over to you as soon as I saw this message and realised it must be you, but you won me over with the beer and cigarette specials offer.

So how about when I go stand out front, I'll tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree and we can get together and reminisce about mum and that team of convicts from the ditch digging program. Wow, she was an enthusiastic kinda girl, momma was.

Thanks John, tis a pleasure to meet you!

 

[EnglishAgain]

travel plans

There should hardly be any doubt. Despite his charm, his distance still remains nothing but a fantasy. With me you could buy a Greyhound ticket this afternoon, and be at Cecil's truck stop by tomorrow, and that's Wednesday so the beer special will be in effect. (Damb life is beautiful.) The hot dogs smell a little funny, but I have a half dozen M-80's and the creek isn't too far away so we could have a wonderful fish fry, (I hope you like carp.) Hell, I'll even send Bobby Jo to Wal Mart this afternoon to buy me some of em new fangled teeth they gots.
(I lost my other set a couple of years ago having a coughing fit in the outhouse, and swore off non filtered cigs at that time, yeppers nothin' but the best light filters for me now.)

Hell, I'll even steal a couple of lounge chairs from that park pool, (haven't been using 'em much since the filter system failed in '93, and I promise to wash the stains off of the little lady's favorite halter. <damn she looks hot in it, all 375lbs of her>)

Anyway I'm obviously smitten with you

John

Distance? Ha, I smirk in the face of a few thousand miles. I just bought a large barrel of dynamite from a nice guy I met in town. Osama told me all I have to do is sit on the top, light the fuse and it will take me straight to Heaven, which I now realise is Cecil's truck stop where InRhapsody will be waiting for me in ..well Rhapsody I guess. All I have to do is find the right launch pad, which is something to do with cubans. Osama told me it was for use in Fidel's.

Charm? Have at thee, sirrah, I have no charm, but I do have some charming friends. Glad to have met you too

 

[EnglishAgain]

Elvis Lives?

I once bucked a ham in a palace, no wait that was getting porked at the county jail. Sorry get confused sometimes, a bad boutr with moonshine years, (or was it months), ago. Anyway INS I'd be happy to entertain you as well here at Hog Waller Trailer park, and thanks for letting me in.

Oh wait now I remember it was Earl Jean hollerin' into his old lady from the bar-b-que pit, "Who stole my Fuckin' Ham?" Just knew Buckingham sounded familiar. (By the way that was a damn good ham.)

John

Porked by a lardy in the county jail,
the prison band was there and they began to wail...and no wonder really.

We don't drink coffee we take tea, my dear, and we don't have barbeques at all. How frightfully new worldly and progressive of you. Being such a small nation we simply sit around and lament the loss of empire as we sip a nice cup of Twinings from the porcelain grandmama left us. What no-one admits is that we stole the fuckin'ham, but we're far too well bred to admit it.
Having run the gamut of gammon on this one, I shall move on! You're very original John, have you written elsewhere?