Looking for someone to collaborate with

[Boadicea]

I want to re-write EVERY romance novel, porno, erotica cliche.

I'm thinking: keep it hot and sexy, but add a touch of realism, and some humour, beginning every story with a brief description of the cliche being mocked. Given the size of this task, I don't want to go it alone.

Are there any authors interested?

 

[logophile]

It may just be the flu talking, but I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about...

Would you mind clarifying?

 

[TheEarl]

Icena Princess: I'm afraid I don't have time, otherwise I'd be sorely tempted. Just out of interest, which cliches were you thinking of mocking?

The Earl

 

[Boadicea]

A few examples of Bad Cliches

Here are a few examples of a BAD cliches:

-An independent, Modern Woman, is taken aboard a spaceship where there is a gorgeous, muscular man who comes from a world where women are still treated as they were in the Middle Ages: as weak, vulnerable, incompetent, over emotional things that need a protector. They have amazing, multi-orgasmic sex, in which Mr. Big Brawny and Stupid is constantly in control, she falls in love, and willingly gives up every one of her freedoms (not to mention her brains) to be the submissive wife on his under-evolved planet. In exchange he gives her a few "token freedoms" "because he loves her".
I find this one particularly disgusting because it feeds into every stereotype about strong women: that behind all their power, all they really want is to open their legs, and be the submissive whore of a "REAL MAN".

- A woman who's never had an orgasm before (and in some versions, is also a virgin) is FORCED to engage an attractive, brutal man sexually. She feels violated by the acts at first, but then, once his cock is inside her, the more he humiliates her, the more she loves it. This one is just sick, because it makes the argument that there's no such thing as rape.

-This one is the gay male equivalent of the last one: a 100% straight man who's never had anal sex or given head is forced into it by another man and learns to love it.

-A big strong man with a whole lot of lousy memories is taught to love again by an inexperienced virgin with a "gentle touch" and a whole lot of sympathy. This one is revolting in its sentimentality.

-Two competing individuals, who HATE each other's guts, somehow find themselves in a suspenseful situation, or in some cases, simply locked in a room, suddenly discovers how attractive the other one is. In the middle of a heated argument, they suddenly start making out and eventually having explosive sex.

 

[NoJo]

Here are a few examples of a BAD cliches:

-An independent, Modern Woman, is taken aboard a spaceship where there is a gorgeous, muscular man who comes from a world where women are still treated as they were in the Middle Ages: as weak, vulnerable, incompetent, over emotional things that need a protector. They have amazing, multi-orgasmic sex, in which Mr. Big Brawny and Stupid is constantly in control, she falls in love, and willingly gives up every one of her freedoms (not to mention her brains) to be the submissive wife on his under-evolved planet. In exchange he gives her a few "token freedoms" "because he loves her".
I find this one particularly disgusting because it feeds into every stereotype about strong women: that behind all their power, all they really want is to open their legs, and be the submissive whore of a "REAL MAN".

- A woman who's never had an orgasm before (and in some versions, is also a virgin) is FORCED to engage an attractive, brutal man sexually. She feels violated by the acts at first, but then, once his cock is inside her, the more he humiliates her, the more she loves it. This one is just sick, because it makes the argument that there's no such thing as rape.

-This one is the gay male equivalent of the last one: a 100% straight man who's never had anal sex or given head is forced into it by another man and learns to love it.

-A big strong man with a whole lot of lousy memories is taught to love again by an inexperienced virgin with a "gentle touch" and a whole lot of sympathy. This one is revolting in its sentimentality.

-Two competing individuals, who HATE each other's guts, somehow find themselves in a suspenseful situation, or in some cases, simply locked in a room, suddenly discovers how attractive the other one is. In the middle of a heated argument, they suddenly start making out and eventually having explosive sex.

These are all great, boudicca. I'll help you.

 

[Guest]

These are all great, boudicca. I'll help you.

wistful sigh
im so jealous, monkey boy.

 

[pop_54]

These are all great, boudicca. I'll help you.

It's only cos you want to have a go at the gay male one though isn't it

Hi Boadicea, interesting idea, wish I had time to help.

 

[Boadicea]

It's only cos you want to have a go at the gay male one though isn't it

Yes, yes it is.

I'm also SICK TO DEATH of the "Me Tarzan; You Stupid; Me know best how to bang bang" stuff you find in so much bad porn. I want to have crack at re-writing them so they're a little more realistic (and funny).

 

[Guest]

Boadicea (and I really hope you're not someone else cos I love that you took this name),

I like your idea but why not start with just one and see how it goes? I'd like to read what you produce.

Perdita

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thank God I've never, um, written anything that might ... look sorta like ... any of that.

Great idea, hope you run with it.

Shanglan

 

[brightlyiburn]

I want to re-write EVERY romance novel, porno, erotica cliche.

I'm thinking: keep it hot and sexy, but add a touch of realism, and some humour, beginning every story with a brief description of the cliche being mocked. Given the size of this task, I don't want to go it alone.

Are there any authors interested?

Sorry to disappoint you, but I've already got cliché romance novels covered.