How to write for women as a man?

[Randy_Dreamer]

Hello, Dear Authors and Readers,

Looking for advice. I'm a man writing a novella from the first person standpoint of a man. I would like to hear from ladies, or any author that has had a good review from ladies, which features of erotica appeal to women?

Like, ladies, do you want to hear about big cocked confident studs owning their sexual partners? Or is there more to it? How can one write from a male POV and be an enjoyable read for the ladies?

Any advice welcome, thank you
Randy

 

[pink_silk_glove]

For me, make sexy men. The vast majority of male characters on lit are totally limp. They're bland and boring. There is a severe lack of confident male characters who can turn on a woman or take her. Male characters very seldom initiate or elevate the (sex) action. They seem to sit around and wait for the skanky unicorn ho to climb them. The vast majority of male characters are subby by default, and by that I mean that they're not really genuinely subby, they just default to sub because they have zero skills/game and/or are very lazy, and even the minority of stories where the man is fairly hot, the woman invariably does most or all of the heavy lifting, which is especially disappointing (for me anyways and I know a number of other women feel similar).

Give your men skills like fixing a car, playing a musical instrument, surfing, flying a helicopter, etc, and display those skills. Don't just mention them in passing. You'd be surprised just how sexy a plumber or even an IT guy can be if he knows how to get the job done and is not afraid to roll up his sleeves to do it.

Physically, it all depends on the tastes of the reader but you might be surprised at how much leeway you get in physical appearance if the man acts sexy. Make him confident, diligent. If she gives him every green light imaginable and he still makes no move, he does not deserve any pussy no matter how rippled his abs are. There are no ideals here. I prefer a lithe man with nice hair and clean shaven face but many many women like a bald dude with a beard and a barrel chest. You can't please everyone. Personally I do not care about the size of his genitals. Some women do care, but usually girth is far more important than length.

Leaders tend to be sexier than followers. This doesn't mean that he has to be alpha-1, but even a common foot soldier who loyally follows orders should at least have his own mind and be capable of making decisions when he needs to. Personally, I love rebels, artists, those who dare (to the point where I still might be turned on even if they don't treat me all that well), but everyone's tastes are different.

I would not worry about trying to find the right kink that most women like. Women's kinks vary just as much as men's, so just write the kinks that you are into or wish to explore. There will be women into whatever kink you share.

 

[lovecraft68]

No straight answer to this because it depends on the woman. People are not locked into "All men, or all women, like of dislike." The answer in anything is never all and never none, its always a mix.

Best to write what you feel compelled to and let the people who enjoy it find you. There will be people who won't like it as well, but that's going to happen no matter what.

Shoot your shot and see what it hits.

 

[BellaBestia]

Perhaps this goes without saying but imma say it anyway: Since you’re writing a novella length rather than short story please for the love of literature make your characters three dimensional. To sustain readership beyond just the sexy bits, readers need to invest emotionally in the characters we need to believe these could be real people like us. Make them complex thoughtful emotionally resonant give them quirks and foibles and flaws otherwise they may as well be Barbie and Ken dolls with genitals. If you’re writing shorter pieces then the sex is the focus. Longer pieces need other action plot character development and some kind of conflict to be resolved.

 

[Trionyx]

Ask a hundred women and you will get a hundred different answers.

 

[lovecraft68]

For me, make sexy men. The vast majority of male characters on lit are totally limp. They're bland and boring. There is a severe lack of confident male characters who can turn on a woman or take her. Male characters very seldom initiate or elevate the (sex) action. They seem to sit around and wait for the skanky unicorn ho to climb them. The vast majority of male characters are subby by default, and by that I mean that they're not really genuinely subby, they just default to sub because they have zero skills/game and/or are very lazy, and even the minority of stories where the man is fairly hot, the woman invariably does most or all of the heavy lifting, which is especially disappointing (for me anyways and I know a number of other women feel similar).

This isn't limited to lit, you just described a lot of what passes for men in this society. They're wimps and of course blame feminism for 'emasculating' them, and act like women don't want real men. They do, that's just man babies playing the victim card.

Know that Barbie movie? There were men running around the net, especially toxic You tubers, saying it emasculated them.

Newsflash, cuck, if you think a movie emasculated you? It was gone a long time ago.

To the other side, some women do prefer men who aren't the typical "manly man" and are a little more willing to let sex be an equal footing event and not the "Taking" Bodice ripper routine.

I get crap from the "real men" here because in my Cougar/Cub pieces I have the woman taking more of the lead, not in a top/bottom sense, but just that despite what the fragile male ego thinks, the average 20 year old is not more aggressive and sexually experienced as a woman in their forties. Its an out of your league type thing, but not played up because these kids are getting the ride of a life time. What it comes down to is for some male readers if its not "Bitch get on your knees" then the guys a wimp.

Which has also not helped the younger generation of men learn their way around because that's the group that creates the toxic male vibe women got sick of some time ago.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Hello, Dear Authors and Readers,

Looking for advice. I'm a man writing a novella from the first person standpoint of a man. I would like to hear from ladies, or any author that has had a good review from ladies, which features of erotica appeal to women?

Like, ladies, do you want to hear about big cocked confident studs owning their sexual partners? Or is there more to it? How can one write from a male POV and be an enjoyable read for the ladies?

Any advice welcome, thank you
Randy

If you're trying to attract a female audience, give them romance.
As @BellaBestia said, it's important for your character to be three dimensional.

From my experience, your MMC should be strong and capable, but broken enough that the MFC has something to fix. There needs to be emotional conflict strong enough to evoke a response, happy or sad, from the reader. Probably best to have things end happy.
It's tropey and stereotypical, but woman feed off the feelings of what they read as much as the graphic content. While it can be as explicit as you want to make it, your readers are big girls, they can handled explicit, the sex should delve into the feelings of the characters while they're fucking or doing whatever else you want to have them do. Also stereotypical, but let your MMC play the hero a little and save the 'damsel in distress.' This doesn't have to be Liam Neeson Taken level hero, just enough to reinforce that the MMC is capable of protecting her.

If you want the ultimate answer, Read Romance. One of my favorites is Barbara O'Neal.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Ask a hundred women and you will get a hundred different answers.

Ask a hundred women and you will get two or three hundred different answers.

But to provide one of those answers, the MMC should have some depth. Especially since you are writing in first person. I'm not interested in the hyper confident, alpha male "women get wet and drops their panties at the mere thought of me" cliche nor the hapless soy boy who just waits for the woman to make a move and do all the heavy lifting.

What goes inside the head of a normal, average guy when he meets a woman he's attracted to? That's what's interesting. Especially if he's a well developed character who feels real.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Leaving that aside, there's one (very) broad generalization concerning what men and women are looking for overall in erotica.

Men tend to like the action - he does this to her, she responds with... Women on the other hand, while certainly enjoying the act, tend to also expect more emotional insight. How did she feel when he walked in the door? When did feelings of love start appearing in him? What's funny little thing she does which he finds endearing. Yes, bell curves upon bell curves, but it's pretty valid.

Supporting this is that bunch of Google engineers are supposed to have done a metastudy on porn searches for men and women. Men tended to go for visual images whereas women tended to go for written erotica. Presumably the latter offers more room for emotional expression. (As an aside, it might also shed some light on the common claim that this site has a high percentage of female viewers, but that's just speculation.)

From Tailsteak's lamentably-ended Leftover Soup:

 

[Voboy]

Why are you trying to please "women readers?" You should be aiming to please "readers." That is best done by writing characters who are real people and then having them interact in organic, believable ways.

Shooting for just one gender of audience strikes me as both futile and, frankly, a bit creepy.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

When I write Smutty short stories, I tend to try to target men's and women's pov.

I just write what turns me on.
And if please others, then it's win win.

 

[lovecraft68]

Why are you trying to please "women readers?" You should be aiming to please "readers." That is best done by writing characters who are real people and then having them interact in organic, believable ways.

Shooting for just one gender of audience strikes me as both futile and, frankly, a bit creepy.

It's like rock bands, some are in it for the music, some just want the groupies.

 

[Voboy]

I just write what turns me on.
And if please others, then it's win win.

This should be pinned or stickied or whatever it's called.

It's not a magic formula. It's just sexy stories.

 

[WeShallUnclench]

the woman invariably does most or all of the heavy lifting, which is especially disappointing (for me anyways and I know a number of other women feel similar).

In that regard though, can you think of a kind of story where most of the dynamic comes from the female protagonist, but it still works for you?

What do you feel a male character would have to be like, to make interesting and alluring "prey"?

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Why are you trying to please "women readers?" You should be aiming to please "readers." That is best done by writing characters who are real people and then having them interact in organic, believable ways.

Shooting for just one gender of audience strikes me as both futile and, frankly, a bit creepy.

I won't speak for OP, but he's probably trying to please both genders and as a man already has a pretty good idea how to please the male readers so he's asking advice on how to even things up? Most stories on lit are male fantasy after all.

 

[AG31]

As a straight woman I like men. A lot. Give me an authentic representation of what it's like to be a man. I may not find it erotic, but if it's authentic I'll enjoy it as literature.

 

[Areala-chan]

Ask a hundred women and you will get two or three hundred different answers.

This.

Write interesting, three-dimensional characters. Put them in a setting conducive to the story you want to tell. Make sure your POV character is capable of driving the story forward, not just reacting to the events happening all around them. Spelling and grammar are always graded. Give me something to root for that your main character is trying to accomplish or bring about, even if they ultimately fail, beyond bedding their partner(s). Sex is more about emotions than the physicality, and what happens immediately before and immediately following the act is far more interesting and important than the bedroom gymnastics and engineering blueprints you use to describe the different ways Tab A enters Slot B.

All of those rules can be broken once you have learned them backwards and forwards and have displayed your mastery of them to the reader's satisfaction. You will never satisfy every reader, so you might as well satisfy yourself.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Hello, Dear Authors and Readers,

Looking for advice. I'm a man writing a novella from the first person standpoint of a man. I would like to hear from ladies, or any author that has had a good review from ladies, which features of erotica appeal to women?

Like, ladies, do you want to hear about big cocked confident studs owning their sexual partners? Or is there more to it? How can one write from a male POV and be an enjoyable read for the ladies?

Any advice welcome, thank you
Randy

Hi... I believe your approach is flawed...
Writing to please readers of any sort is a mistake.
Every single person who reads your story is different. There is no magic recipe.

By trying to please a small, and lets be honest. You are talking about less than 20% of the Literotica audience (IMO).
By trying to please a certain element of your available audience. You will make your characters stereotypical. You will lose the individuality of what you're trying to say...
My advice is... And this advice was given to me. It's not a new concept. Write what you want to write. Say what you want to say.... Enjoy writing, learn to love or at least like your story, your characters. Write something you are happy to stand behind...
It's not about content, it's about quality. Write a great story and people will enjoy it.

Cagivagurl

 

[ElectricBlue]

Hello, Dear Authors and Readers,

Looking for advice. I'm a man writing a novella from the first person standpoint of a man. I would like to hear from ladies, or any author that has had a good review from ladies, which features of erotica appeal to women?

If you don't know the answers to this already, or at least a bit of a clue, a novella might be a bit ambitious.

Maybe try writing shorter stories first, where you write about people, some of whom happen to be happen to be women, some of whom happen to be men, and they meet and engage with one another. It's a bit like real life, except you write about it.

 

[Euphony]

If you don't know the answers to this already, or at least a bit of a clue, a novella might be a bit ambitious.

Maybe try writing shorter stories first, where you write about people, some of whom happen to be happen to be women, some of whom happen to be men, and they meet and engage with one another. It's a bit like real life, except you write about it.

So much this.

If a writer needs to ask if a big dick with accompanying "energy" is enough, they really need to start small and work up to layered emotional and psychological through threads many novela readers look for.

Start small. Mutual respect and consideration in a fortunate scenario.

Then slowly but surely make future couplings harder for your characters (and yourself)

 

[van_delay]

 

[VerbalAbuse]

Everybody has an opinion -- and they are not wrong.

I say: make the characters interesting. They don't have to be interesting in a certain way, but they should make you, as a writer, happy and stimulated. If you feel they are drawing you in, that you keep going back at them, then possibly the readers will feel the same way too.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Start by asking yourself "why is she attracted to him?"

If your story offers an answer to that, any answer that goes beyond "he's male and he's there" or "she's his reward for XYZ", congrats, you're ahead of many professional writers.

 

[YDB95]

Every woman is different, but I will say I've gotten high marks from some women readers for:

• Not making my female characters sound like Playboy centerfolds
• Having them express their own desires rather than just being passive partners
• Making an effort to develop them fully as characters, even if I don't always succeed completely.

 

[Hypnobitch01]

Hello, Dear Authors and Readers,

Looking for advice. I'm a man writing a novella from the first person standpoint of a man. I would like to hear from ladies, or any author that has had a good review from ladies, which features of erotica appeal to women?

Like, ladies, do you want to hear about big cocked confident studs owning their sexual partners? Or is there more to it? How can one write from a male POV and be an enjoyable read for the ladies?

Any advice welcome, thank you
Randy

Please make the female characters complex, with needs and thoughts and feelings of their own. Also interpersonal relationships are really really important to me as a woman. I want to not only read about the physical intimacy, but the emotional intimacy and the dynamics between characters. Also please don’t call breasts globes, just a personal preference.