Looking for some advice

[bdsmnewbie]

I am new to the bdsm world and I was looking some help. I'm pretty sure that my role would be as a sub, but I'm not sure if I would enjoy it. I suffer from having a small penis so I think being the dom or switching is out of the question.
I'm looking for some self tips that I can do at home. Not just masturbation, but other things I can do to see if being a sub is something I would be interested in. Obviously anything I do won't compare to being with someone, I know that. I've tried a few things at home and have enjoyed them, but I quickly ran out of ideas.
Any help would be appreciated, thanks. Hopefully I don't come off desperate, I'm just curious.

 

[DVS]

I am new to the bdsm world and I was looking some help. I'm pretty sure that my role would be as a sub, but I'm not sure if I would enjoy it. I suffer from having a small penis so I think being the dom or switching is out of the question.
I'm looking for some self tips that I can do at home. Not just masturbation, but other things I can do to see if being a sub is something I would be interested in. Obviously anything I do won't compare to being with someone, I know that. I've tried a few things at home and have enjoyed them, but I quickly ran out of ideas.
Any help would be appreciated, thanks. Hopefully I don't come off desperate, I'm just curious.

Penis size really hasn't anything to do with it. If you feel you might want to be a dom, there are ways to do it without penis size being an issue. Actually, you can dom just fine without even any penetration, if that's your desire. I've done that before.

Also, if you feel your penis is just too small to be an effective dom, there are devices that you can put over your erect penis to make them larger. Also, if you're into anal sex, a small penis might be just the right fit. Sometimes a large penis can be too much.

And if you do want to try being a dom, developing a style where you use mind control on your sub can be fun. It does take a little practice as well as developing a confidence, but I've often said that as long as the submissive is bound and blindfolded, I could talk to them in a way that could convince them that a 5 inch dildo is 8 inches. Sometimes it's all about how your style. If you can develop something like that, you won't have to worry about penis size. You'll have their mind working against them in your favor.

Now, if you want to be a submissive, you can do that, too. You might think being a submissive is easier, but in many ways, it isn't. You'll have to set up your limits and you'll have to worry about trusting someone to follow your limits, stop when you say your safe word and just plain taking care of your safety during a scene. There are gobs of people who are willing to do that, but there are just as many out there who just want to have their fun, so they will tell you anything to get that fun.

You'll need to learn how to read people, or at least know someone who can read people so you meet up with the right people. Playing with someone you can't trust is not a very safe thing to do. It can get your hurt. Also, if you think you can trust someone and they have lied to you about their skills, that can be bad, too. There are a lot of creeps, fakes, and wannabees out there, just waiting for some newbie submissive to come their way. Learning to read who these people are is going to be first on your list.

 

[wicked woman]

I don't know how you can try out being a submissive at home by yourself. You need someone to be submissive to.

 

[CBM514]

I am new to the bdsm world and I was looking some help. I'm pretty sure that my role would be as a sub, but I'm not sure if I would enjoy it. I suffer from having a small penis so I think being the dom or switching is out of the question.
I'm looking for some self tips that I can do at home. Not just masturbation, but other things I can do to see if being a sub is something I would be interested in. Obviously anything I do won't compare to being with someone, I know that. I've tried a few things at home and have enjoyed them, but I quickly ran out of ideas.
Any help would be appreciated, thanks. Hopefully I don't come off desperate, I'm just curious.

Kinda hard to submit to or dominate without a partner...maybe go on lit and read some stories of both variety and see which appeal to you or excite you?

 

[ecstaticsub]

Kinda hard to submit to or dominate without a partner...maybe go on lit and read some stories of both variety and see which appeal to you or excite you?

I agree with the reading stories idea. I met my dominant on a non-BDSM website. He never brought up the subject of D/s until we had gotten to know each other on a personal level and then explored each other's fantasies. I had zero experience with real-life BDSM. He recommended a few stories and books that he thought I might enjoy, all BDSM related. When I shared with him how aroused I became reading the books he lead me in a discussion of fantasy vs reality BDSM.

I was hooked and soon after that I became his submissive.