looking for some advice

[njmikeyman]

Hey people of the Lit world, this is geared more towards women but men feel free to answer. I know there are millions of guys out there looking for something to jerk off to and that is it. I am not one of those guys. Is there any thing i can say or anywhere i can go to try talkin to women who like conversation and if we hit it off go deeper. but i am more than just the "cyber" sex type of guy. help?

 

[emap]

Ummmm, well I think your best bet is to actually talk to her as if you are interested in her mind not her body.

Which I suppose basically is the same aproach you would take to making a new guy friend. Ask questions, listen to the answer, ask more questions, answer her questions.

 

[njmikeyman]

thanks emap but i guess what i am trying to get at is where could i even go to find a girl to talk to. most women are so pushed back because they are getting so many pms from guys who just want the sex part. so maybe a good website or something else on this website.

 

[sweetnshygal]

finding females for more than just dirty chats

Hi there. I'm a newbie to the world of literotica and must admit that I was a little overwhelmed by the PM's and instant messages I got at first. I'm not used to that kind of attention. I have met some pretty decent guys here though. I think one thing that I really makes a guy display his better intentions is sending a PM that includes a line about not wanting to bother the nice lady, but just letting her know you'd like to talk. I know there are girls here like myself that do enjoy sharing deeper conversation. So don't feel like it's a lost cause here. Hope this helps.

 

[rydia57]

Welcome to Lit, mikey! And if you haven't been there yet, maybe you could try scanning the personals board? If you don't see someone there looking for conversation, leave a thread or post saying what you're looking for. Someone will answer! That's the first time I've ever heard anyone mention deep conversation straight out...

 

[njmikeyman]

BUMP!! anybody can post

 

[cele2flowers]

Hi there. I'm a newbie to the world of literotica and must admit that I was a little overwhelmed by the PM's and instant messages I got at first. I'm not used to that kind of attention. I have met some pretty decent guys here though. I think one thing that I really makes a guy display his better intentions is sending a PM that includes a line about not wanting to bother the nice lady, but just letting her know you'd like to talk. I know there are girls here like myself that do enjoy sharing deeper conversation. So don't feel like it's a lost cause here. Hope this helps.

I'm gonna agree with this. I have gotten a lot of PM's at times, never let anyone fall through the cracks. But the ones that I enjoy getting the most are the ones that say they don't want to bother me, but they liked something about me and wanted to learn more. Some have made comments on my body, but they are usually comments that could be safely made in a grocery store. Just be friendly, talk to them like you would in a public place. I'm sure a lot of women would be very receptive to that approach here. Good luck!

 

[fire_breeze]

Pretty much what everyone said above: be polite, ask intelligent questions, listen, respond, have a little sense of humour, so forth. You could also go to the Playground and play in the sandbox, so to speak (post on threads, etc). It'll help, that if you do send a PM, your title is interesting and/or unique, so that it'll stand out from "i want 2 cum". And if you should definitely include more than "I'm looking for a woman to chat with and you look interesting". I mean, how is she suppose to answer to that? Include some questions/comments that she can respond to.
I hope this helps and good luck!

 

[Mephistophelily]

Hang out in some of the threads, see if there's anyone that seems to spark your interest, post to their threads and try to get conversations going off there.

I've met a few interesting guys from chatting with them via the boards, then talking via PM's and IM'ers. Maybe its just me, but if they talk to me "in the open" (on the boards where others acn read it too) without being shy, I feel more comfortable talking to them elsewhere. If you don't come off as "New guy looking to wank", you'll be able to talk to lots of people.

 

[jeepman6]

Some have made comments on my body, but they are usually comments that could be safely made in a grocery store.

So are you saying you would prefer comments to you that would be more suited to a porn store??

 

[cele2flowers]

So are you saying you would prefer comments to you that would be more suited to a porn store??

Actually, if it's a comment that would reward you with a slap, glare, or a drink thrown at you, you're going down the wrong track.

 

[SouthernGaGal]

I agree with what everyone else has said. I would take a "Hey, how are you" kind of PM intead of "Let me see your tits" anytime.