Looking for helpful hints, advice

[Dark_Jewel]

with the approval of my Master, I've come to ask your views/advice as to the place a willing submissive should fill/occupy

I've recently asked Him to allow me to serve and have quickly found I am out of depth almost immediately.

I feel I am failing him and yet when I pose the feeling to Him He tells me simply "to not worry, in time I will find my place?"

Please, help me, anyone?

 

[CutieMouse]

with the approval of my Master, I've come to ask your views/advice as to the place a willing submissive should fill/occupy

I've recently asked Him to allow me to serve and have quickly found I am out of depth almost immediately.

I feel I am failing him and yet when I pose the feeling to Him He tells me simply "to not worry, in time I will find my place?"

Please, help me, anyone?

You need to communicate with him, and he with you. Do you feel out of your depth because you have no idea what is expected of you? Has he not given you a list of "protocols" for lack of a better term? Have you gone over a likes/dislikes/limits checklist? Are you a submissive int he bedroom only, or in every waking moment of Life? Is your focus on pleasure/sexual fulfillment, or service?

The only person who can tell you HOW to be his submissive, or where you fit in your personal D/s dynamic, is him.

 

[CutieMouse]

deleted for double post

 

[myinnerslut]

i agree with cutiemouse.... in order to serve him, you need to know what is expected of you. in ordeer to know what is excpected of you, you really should sit down with your Master and just talk. if you think it would help, ask for permission to drop all names and titles for the conversation so you feel free to speak your mind without having to worry about following whatever protocol you two have established. and definitly fill out a checklist. there are links to some in the library

 

[Daddyslilpet]

The only person who can tell you HOW to be his submissive, or where you fit in your personal D/s dynamic, is him.

I couldn't agree with this more! Well said!

 

[BeachGurl2]

You need to communicate with him, and he with you. Do you feel out of your depth because you have no idea what is expected of you? Has he not given you a list of "protocols" for lack of a better term? Have you gone over a likes/dislikes/limits checklist? Are you a submissive int he bedroom only, or in every waking moment of Life? Is your focus on pleasure/sexual fulfillment, or service?

The only person who can tell you HOW to be his submissive, or where you fit in your personal D/s dynamic, is him.

I also agree. It's not your place to figure out where you belong, it's his place to let you know what he expects. Is this a new relationship? Have you talked about the things Cutie listed above? That would be a good place to start. Another thing you can do is look at some of the threads here that have recently been discussing service. You might find that your definition of service is different from his. That could create a problem down the road as you try to be of service, only to find that isn't what he wanted. Communication is the key here, and he really needs to guide you more than he currently is.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I agree with the other posters. If your Master has not given you clear instructions/boundaries you cannot find your 'place' except through trial and 'error'

But I have to ask; how can you fail him if he hasn't given you clear guidelines in the first place? I have to say from reading your post it sounds to me that in this your Master is being very unfair.

Has he much experience as a Master? Real life experience? If this is a new relationship make certain of what you think you know about him.

Sorry to be so negative, it's clear that you're trying your best.

 

[CutieMouse]

I get the same feeling of poor communication, which is why I responded the way I did; however, it is possible that he is giving what he feels is clear guidance, and she is simply feeling uncertain and overwhelmed. I do hope the OP comes back to discuss the issue.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

with the approval of my Master, I've come to ask your views/advice as to the place a willing submissive should fill/occupy

I've recently asked Him to allow me to serve and have quickly found I am out of depth almost immediately.

I feel I am failing him and yet when I pose the feeling to Him He tells me simply "to not worry, in time I will find my place?"

Please, help me, anyone?

Well the answer clearly is not sexual naivety based on your numerous posts in the Sexual Role Playing Forum, particularly so if they reflect your genuine portfolio of experience.

I agree with all the advice also offered above however I think it would be most interesting if you would consider providing your personal definitions of both 'place' and 'serve'.

Wishing you well

 

[agibean]

Has he much experience as a Master? Real life experience? If this is a new relationship make certain of what you think you know about him.

I was thinking exactly this as I read the OP. My first thought was that the OP is "failing" because the "Master" doesn't know what it is he wants of her. If he IS experienced, than he's at best failing to communicate, or worse, setting her up to fail in some twisted game. Only he can give her the guidelines she needs so as not to "fail".

 

[chris9]

My understanding of the post is quite different from what others here have read it to mean.
To me it sounds like you are inexperienced and are in a way an over-achiever. He might want to go slow, or at least slower than you thought he would/should. If he gives you orders/tasks/whatever, and you fulfill them to his satisfaction, then all is well. You might have to learn that doing more than he asks you to is not fulfilling his desires, but assuming you know what he wants.
However, more communication won't hurt.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I was thinking exactly this as I read the OP. My first thought was that the OP is "failing" because the "Master" doesn't know what it is he wants of her. If he IS experienced, than he's at best failing to communicate, or worse, setting her up to fail in some twisted game. Only he can give her the guidelines she needs so as not to "fail".

Yeah, this rang a bell with me too:

with the approval of my Master, I've come to ask your views/advice as to the place a willing submissive should fill/occupy

If he's such an experienced Master, why is he sending the OP here rather than communicating with her better himself? This guy sounds to me like one who has bitten off more than he can chew.

 

[chris9]

Yeah, this rang a bell with me too:



If he's such an experienced Master, why is he sending the OP here rather than communicating with her better himself? This guy sounds to me like one who has bitten off more than he can chew.

Or he wants her to communicate with others as well, to get some hints from outsiders she might want to think about, to consider.

 

[CutieMouse]

It's quite possible that Chris9's reading of the situation is accurate, and the PYL in question presumed his views would be reinforced. I wish the OP would come back to chat; the initial post was somewhat vauge and general, so it's difficult to know how to advise her.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I don't know why, but everytime I see VelvetDarkness post, I hear Susan Sarandon singing...

In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright,
There's a guiding staaarrrr
No matter what,
Oooorrrr who you aaaarrrre....

*hushes before he gets everyone holding newspapers over their heads or squirting water pistols up in the air...*

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I don't know why, but everytime I see VelvetDarkness post, I hear Susan Sarandon singing...

In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright,
There's a guiding staaarrrr
No matter what,
Oooorrrr who you aaaarrrre....

*hushes before he gets everyone holding newspapers over their heads or squirting water pistols up in the air...*

*swoons*