Looking for help from submissive pov

[nakdsub]

In my next series of stories, I'll be writing about a man who's girl friend liked BDSM. The experience was new to the guy and I can deal with his feelings and emotions, but I really have no idea what the submissive feels from the lack of control as well as pain associated with arousal.
I would love for some to PM me with some thoughts from that side of the coin.
Thanks.

 

[nakdsub]

Let me clarify a little

The name I use hear, "nakdsub," is misleading. I am not submissive. The name was taken from the name of a band with whom I was a member.

I am inquiring as to the emotions and feelings felt by a female submissive during love making involving bondage and a little pain.

 

[His_pet_slut]

While I fully surrender control to my Master, I don't know that 'lack of control' is the term that first comes to mind when I think about my perspective on this.

Yes, my Master is in control and directs the flow of our time together, but that provides me with an incredible sense of freedom I cannot experience elsewhere.

Pain is part of it, but it is pain mixed with pleasure and something quite apart from say the pain of stubbing your toe or wrenching your back.

Pain, both physical and psychological are mechanisms that Master uses to explore my boundaries, push past them and allow me to soar.

In my day to day life I am always in control and must make countless decisions, both large and small in order to keep up with business and personal obligations.

Being able to release all of that and just be the sensual, submissive slut that is usually under wraps is what keeps me sane.

 

[nakdsub]

I like that

Thanks.

 

[littleoneNS]

There are many parts of submission. Pain is just one part and is one that some people dont engage in. For me submission is this overwhelming feeling of contentment when I do something that makes Sir happy. Whether this is making his life easier by helping him with chores or striving hard to meet his expectations when in a scene.

Intense pain is not part of our dynamic. We enjoy percussion play with a flogger, bondage with rope, sensation play, etc. I work hard to hear the words good job, and thank you. That is what encourages me to do better. It is the disappointment from him that hurts and makes me want to do better not intense pain in punishment.

 

[BrightlyGo]

I can't give you the female perspective, but...

Surrendering control for a submissive is often described as liberating, which sounds counterintuitive. What we're liberated from is responsibility, both for your actions and your desires (if you're a little hung up on some aspect of sex, being 'forced' to do it allows you to enjoy it without guilt, for instance).

It's also re-assuring, because it means you're wanted. Maybe only for sex, or maybe in some deeper sense, but the fact the dominant is claiming you gives you a sense of worth or fulfillment. It can also make you feel safe, because you get a sense of the dom having a great deal of power, and you can feel like that power is protecting you.


Pain is a different issue. It can be part of the dynamic, making your surrender more visceral - the pain is still entirely /pain/, you don't want it, you want it to legitimize your submission. Or it can be for it's own sake - an intensity of experience, testing limits, enhancing other sensations.


Ultimately, though, it's an orientation, an emotional need - there aren't always reasons.

 

[amazingrace1128]

I’ve heard s/M called sex magic and I really believe it is magic. It blasts away all the barriers and strips you down to who you are at your very essence. At least that’s what it does for me the sub. And the Dom, if he’s any good, is so busy paying the strictest, most focused attention to the sub that he actually steps outside himself into a place that is part him and part her. Nothing can be hidden or faked. There is no need for safe words, he knows exactly where she is. Endlessly he insists that she take more…and as she does, she gives him more and more…his dominance ever increasing, her submission ever increasing…

Hope that helps.