Looking For Feedback

[rainedance]

I recently started writing a novel and was looking for some constructive criticism regarding the first chapter. It will be an erotic thriller, told from two points of view - the character in this chapter, and her stalker's who I will introduce in the next chapter. I'm really new to writing so I would love some input on what I can do to improve. Thanks.

http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=B272543

 

[oggbashan]

It is great

I like it.

As yet it isn't really erotic, but your writing is good.

I like the atmosphere, the scene setting, and the feelings.

There are one or two words that the spell-checker has missed e.g. "creek" for "creak" of a floorboard, but technically the writing is much better than most you will find on Literotica.

If you finish it and I don't recommend posting it until you have started the real action, it won't get high marks because it is too gently paced. It will be appreciated by me at least.

Og.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: It is great

technically the writing is much better than most you will find on Literotica.

Oh, thanks a lot!
MG

 

[oggbashan]

Excluding present company

Oh, thanks a lot!
MG

So is yours MG, so is yours.

But that DG?

Og

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Excluding present company

But that DG?

What has DurtGurl ever posted here that's so bad?
MG

 

[TheEarl]

Tut tut. Hiding behind technicalities.

The Earl

 

[MathGirl]

Tut me no tuts

Originally posted by TheEarl Hiding behind technicalities.

Is that what you people over there are currently calling the truth?
MG

 

[openthighs_sarah]

Oh, thanks a lot!
MG

I'd swear she's being sarcastic there. Again.