Long time writer - first time poster

[DevilBuni]

I've been a writer for a long time - usually short stories and poetry. About two years ago, I started writing about sex and whatnot. I have always been very private with what I write - be it short stories, poetry, or porn. Lately, I've wanted to share what I write. So I decided to post one of my first porns about a girls first time. Im still writing - usually when Im bored and sexually frustrated (though writing about sex tends to make me crave that much more, but what do you expect from a nympho?)

Ive gotten some feedback on it so far - but Im looking for a little more so I can hone my skills not as only a writer, but as an erotic writer.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=186397

I hope you enjoy

DevilBuni

 

[Likes_Them_Kinky]

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=186397

I hope you enjoy

DevilBuni[/QUOTE]


I enjoyed it very much.. and look forward to reading more of your stories

 

[falcon29]

"Without notice, she slid her body up mine until she straddled my chest." Huh? Without notice?

"I think I was more in shock than she was at her first orgasm." First ever? Don't think so...

"I pushed in an out carefully; making sure to not put too much inside her." Semicolons are tricky. It doesn't belong here.

"I woke up startled and looked around. I thought it was all a dream – until I looked beside me and saw her sleeping beside me naked." Weak ending and silly.

This isn't a story, just a vignette. A story needs more character development. Still, it's not bad.

 

[msboy8]

I'll read your story and let you know. I'll V.C. on it and not Anonymously either.