Can men write from the woman's perspective?

[AlinaX]

Well done, y'all.

 

[WCSGarland]

Damn... I just spent 30 minutes revising my WIP to alter my FMC's every use of clit...

 

[StillStunned]

A few days ago I was very pleased to read this:

Many of us, if not most, write from both male and female perspectives. @StillStunned writes beautifully from the female perspective. I prefer his writings there.

 

[yowser]

I've never quite regarded men and women as different species, and have written First person POVs from a variety of perspectives. It involves awareness and attention but is entirely educational. For males looking for how a range of women relate their sexual fantasies (and it is a good read no matter who you are) Gillian Anderson has new book Want, with accounts of women's fantasies. Might provide an interesting deep dive on the 'research' front.

 

[JenniferSmithJones]

I've seen this idea popping up a lot, lately. That only men can write male characters, only women can write female characters. Absolute garbage! Heinlein, Pournelle, TONS of mystery writers, and general fiction writers portray female characters. Harlequin Romance novels has a fleet of staff writers publishing under house pen names, and 70% of them are male.

Like developing your skill as a writer, you CAN develop the skill to write opposite-sex characters. Takes practice.

The crazy thing is that after I learned to write male characters, I was suddenly able to understand my husband a lot better.

 

[AlinaX]

Does he understand you?

 

[LisaMayTurner]

If they pretend they can, sure. many guys love to think they can do anything; even stuff beyond their own lived experiences. It's called "fantasy" and a lot of it is easily described as...

 

[tristantrotsky]

If they pretend they can, sure. many guys love to think they can do anything; even stuff beyond their own lived experiences. It's called "fantasy" and a lot of it is easily described as...

Capricious, always surprising, always intoxicating.
The lure that draws and mesmerises. Ladies are magical beings, placed on this planet to entice, befuddle and beguile us hapless males. I truly believe this.
Girls were always an exotic alien species, beguiling, desirable, but forever out of reach. Guys are simpler more dull organisms, and easier to understand.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

A few "women" writing women here are actually men writing women. You are fine. Just write with a bit of flair and nuance and you'll find your audience.

 

[JenniferSmithJones]

Does he understand you?

He's an electrical engineer. He can't understand anyone. No, actually, he's pretty good at understanding me. But it took a couple of years. It's funny, though, because he can understand me, but that ability does not seem to translate to anyone else. He's often left baffled by how people behave.

 

[Justplainjeff]

In an act of monumental hubris, I've done exactly that - tried to write my first very short piece from the woman's perspective. It's 'semi-biographical' in that it's based on a real-life event, but I haven't spoken with our 'third' yet about writing it - I wanted to have a crack first. It's deliberately short, I haven't presumed to delve into the emotions and the finer aspects of our friendship...yet. The key question: is it obvious that a man wrote this?

I've written a few stories from a woman's perspective. These were written with a lot of input from my wife of nearly 55 years, so that has helped me tremendously.

 

[StillStunned]

If they pretend they can, sure. many guys love to think they can do anything; even stuff beyond their own lived experiences. It's called "fantasy" and a lot of it is easily described as...

And a lot of women write male characters. Some more successfully than others, just as with men writing women. It probably has more to do with overall writing and observational skills than with the author's gender.

I mean, it would be weird if books only had characters of one gender or lived experience, wouldn't it? Or if writing credits had to include "and thanks to Luke for writing [man], to William for writing [older man], to Juan for writing [Latin American man] and to Mitchell for writing [Australian man]."

 

[JenniferSmithJones]

And a lot of women write male characters. Some more successfully than others, just as with men writing women. It probably has more to do with overall writing and observational skills than with the author's gender.

I mean, it would be weird if books only had characters of one gender or lived experience, wouldn't it? Or if writing credits had to include "and thanks to Luke for writing [man], to William for writing [older man], to Juan for writing [Latin American man] and to Mitchell for writing [Australian man]."

Right you are because we can't go having cultural appropriation running rampant in literature. People would start learning from each other!

 

[Cagivagurl]

He's an electrical engineer. He can't understand anyone. No, actually, he's pretty good at understanding me. But it took a couple of years. It's funny, though, because he can understand me, but that ability does not seem to translate to anyone else. He's often left baffled by how people behave.

Aren't we all?????

 

[Cagivagurl]

And a lot of women write male characters. Some more successfully than others, just as with men writing women. It probably has more to do with overall writing and observational skills than with the author's gender.

I mean, it would be weird if books only had characters of one gender or lived experience, wouldn't it? Or if writing credits had to include "and thanks to Luke for writing [man], to William for writing [older man], to Juan for writing [Latin American man] and to Mitchell for writing [Australian man]."

My belief is. Regardless of gender, anybody can write...
It's not skill that allows somebody to see the world from other perspectives, it's awareness. It takes an open mind, and the ability to listen...
That is the key ingredient, in my mind at least...

Cagivagurl

 

[LisaMayTurner]

And a lot of women write male characters. Some more successfully than others, just as with men writing women. It probably has more to do with overall writing and observational skills than with the author's gender.

I mean, it would be weird if books only had characters of one gender or lived experience, wouldn't it? Or if writing credits had to include "and thanks to Luke for writing [man], to William for writing [older man], to Juan for writing [Latin American man] and to Mitchell for writing [Australian man]."

So? What you've said makes no difference to what I've said. I didn't say "all" at all! There really is a lot of bad stuff here with men writing from their own imagined female perspective. And some just regurgitate porn narratives and well-worn phrases, situations, tropes, and so on. That is a fact. Not "all" but many.

 

[TheRedChamber]

"No real woman would ever do, say or think that!"

"No shit, why do you think I had resort to fiction..."

Its not exactly a trap in erotica to write people as you wish they were, rather than they actually are. Women are as guilty of this as men, although arguably the female 'wish they were' is a bit more nuanced.

 

[Britva415]

 

[KevinandNina]

We like to play a game of “Is she a she?”
when we read erotica.
I worked in the retail side of the book business and the reason you don’t see a lot of romance novelists (I’m talking about Harlequin and other “bodice rippers”) making in store appearances is because a huge percentage of them are men.
But, back to men writing erotica from the woman’s perspective.
Three obvious giveaways
1) He forgets he’s supposed to be a woman and suddenly is describing how hard his dick is, or how he came harder than ever before.
2) He writes her dialogue and thoughts the way many guys wish women did. I realize it’s male fantasy but no woman describing sex say “nutted” as in “ Then as a reward for a blowjob well done, he pulled out and nutted on my slut face.”
Many couples share “dirty talk” that would be considered crude or vulgar in general discourse but most women don’t have internal conversations where they think of themselves as “cum dumpsters”, “fuck pigs” or other terms alone those lines.
3) Unrealistic reactions to unexpected circumstances: Saturday afternoon, the wife is at home when her husband comes home with the three guys he golfs with.
She asked how it went and he sheepishly informs her that he had the worst game of the four of them, and they had made a deal that the loser had to let the other three, fuck his wife.
Instead of kicking all them (including the husband) out of the house, she takes it all in stride and says “Well, a bet’s a bet. Where do you want me felt? Here on the kitchen table, the living room floor or on our bed? BTW, is it going to be all at once or one at a time”
Or, the quiet, shy, sexually conservative wife finds herself dry humping the brass pole in the basement “man cave” after a few drinks at a friend’s Superbowl party.

 

[JenniferSmithJones]

We like to play a game of “Is she a she?”
when we read erotica.
I worked in the retail side of the book business and the reason you don’t see a lot of romance novelists (I’m talking about Harlequin and other “bodice rippers”) making in store appearances is because a huge percentage of them are men.
But, back to men writing erotica from the woman’s perspective.
Three obvious giveaways
1) He forgets he’s supposed to be a woman and suddenly is describing how hard his dick is, or how he came harder than ever before.
2) He writes her dialogue and thoughts the way many guys wish women did. I realize it’s male fantasy but no woman describing sex say “nutted” as in “ Then as a reward for a blowjob well done, he pulled out and nutted on my slut face.”
Many couples share “dirty talk” that would be considered crude or vulgar in general discourse but most women don’t have internal conversations where they think of themselves as “cum dumpsters”, “fuck pigs” or other terms alone those lines.
3) Unrealistic reactions to unexpected circumstances: Saturday afternoon, the wife is at home when her husband comes home with the three guys he golfs with.
She asked how it went and he sheepishly informs her that he had the worst game of the four of them, and they had made a deal that the loser had to let the other three, fuck his wife.
Instead of kicking all them (including the husband) out of the house, she takes it all in stride and says “Well, a bet’s a bet. Where do you want me felt? Here on the kitchen table, the living room floor or on our bed? BTW, is it going to be all at once or one at a time”
Or, the quiet, shy, sexually conservative wife finds herself dry humping the brass pole in the basement “man cave” after a few drinks at a friend’s Superbowl party.

You wrote, "Or, the quiet, shy, sexually conservative wife finds herself dry humping the brass pole in the basement “man cave” after a few drinks at a friend’s Superbowl party."

I have seen this happen. It wasn't a brass pole in the basement. It was the stairway finial. She was completely drunk. No one noticed how much she had been drinking because ... she wasn't the sort of woman known for drinking to excess! I was the only one who noticed the state she was in, and I got to her first. I dragged her to the bathroom, and just in time. Because she was sick! Normally, she was the shyest, most quiet, woman. Get a few drinks in her, and ... hold on to your hats because there is no telling what was going to happen, next! Her husband didn't deserve her, and she had just found out he had been cheating since before they got married, he would hardly ever make love to her. And that one day, during that game (not a superbowl, one of the preliminaries) she got drunk, and all her unmet desires came to a head. Lucky finial! Unlucky husband. She didn't have to divorce him, he died of a heart attack 3 months later. He was easily 100pounds overweight. In his early 30's!

I'd write it up in a story, but it is way too close to my heart. She's fine, these days. Remarried, great guy, gave her three kids, all of them made it through college and got marriages of their own.

But as to your point that normally shy, conservative women never sexually act out in circumstances that could be disastrous for them? Real life has a way of putting all our assumptions to shame. But it also, almost always, offers a way forward if we're tough enough, courageous enough, hopeful enough to see it.

Yeah, that's only one example. And an anecdote, at that, further lessening its credibility. But that's life.

 

[Britva415]

You wrote, "Or, the quiet, shy, sexually conservative wife finds herself dry humping the brass pole in the basement “man cave” after a few drinks at a friend’s Superbowl party."

I have seen this happen. It wasn't a brass pole in the basement. It was the stairway finial. She was completely drunk. No one noticed how much she had been drinking because ... she wasn't the sort of woman known for drinking to excess! I was the only one who noticed the state she was in, and I got to her first. I dragged her to the bathroom, and just in time. Because she was sick! Normally, she was the shyest, most quiet, woman. Get a few drinks in her, and ... hold on to your hats because there is no telling what was going to happen, next! Her husband didn't deserve her, and she had just found out he had been cheating since before they got married, he would hardly ever make love to her. And that one day, during that game (not a superbowl, one of the preliminaries) she got drunk, and all her unmet desires came to a head. Lucky finial! Unlucky husband. She didn't have to divorce him, he died of a heart attack 3 months later. He was easily 100pounds overweight. In his early 30's!

I'd write it up in a story, but it is way too close to my heart. She's fine, these days. Remarried, great guy, gave her three kids, all of them made it through college and got marriages of their own.

But as to your point that normally shy, conservative women never sexually act out in circumstances that could be disastrous for them? Real life has a way of putting all our assumptions to shame. But it also, almost always, offers a way forward if we're tough enough, courageous enough, hopeful enough to see it.

Yeah, that's only one example. And an anecdote, at that, further lessening its credibility. But that's life.

Now imagine that story being written as a Lit story. Imagine the woman's point of view in that story being written by any woman, any woman at all, and imagine it being written by the kind of male Lit author we've been stereotyping.

They'd come out very different.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I've written from both. If anyone has had an issue, they haven't mentioned anything in comments.

 

[lovecraft68]

View attachment 2550162

This man is obsessed with his female character being raped, abused and demeaned like no other author out there. Sansa was raped by half the cast to the point she could have just been starring in non consent fantasy videos or stories here.

Find a better example. preferably one with a cholesterol count under 500 and an ounce of consideration for his fan base.

 

[lovecraft68]

A few days ago I was very pleased to read this:

And I have three of the top 55 Lesbian stories on the all time list. Take that for what it's worth, which isn't much.

Don't let the fluffing go to your head.

 

[Wildfly11]

In an act of monumental hubris, I've done exactly that - tried to write my first very short piece from the woman's perspective. It's 'semi-biographical' in that it's based on a real-life event, but I haven't spoken with our 'third' yet about writing it - I wanted to have a crack first. It's deliberately short, I haven't presumed to delve into the emotions and the finer aspects of our friendship...yet. The key question: is it obvious that a man wrote this?

I have tried this in the past for a hisl view..her view story. I don't know if it was any good but it was fun trying to put my mind in that head space.