Long Shot - Question for tops approaching/conquesting "straight" guys or conquested "straight guys"

[Suxnbenzover]

Were you ever propositioned before or after by a man? By a woman?

Don't get me wrong, my first sexual experience was with a man when I was quite young. I am married, but continue to enjoy sex with a man when the opportunity arises. This was not my first rodeo, but it was certainly the first time I was nonchalantly approached in public.

 

[SPARTAN047]

That's actually very intriguing.

Any of my hookups were when we already discussed it online and knew that's what we wanted. I've been propositioned sometimes by men in bars, lesbian women in bars or clubs, and couples if in a dogging spot like the beach. I didn't take them up on it in generally in the bars/clubs since I was just on a night out, but I usually said yes on beaches.

I'm extremely introverted and don't like much physical contact by strangers, so it might be very hard for me to accept random propositions by anyone IDK. If I'm horny and discuss it in text or person first, or it's someone I'm attracted to, then it's a lot easier.

I definitely wonder how he knew. I'm useless at reading people.

 

[chapter6plan]

I started a thread on this forum a couple of years ago ... "Failed Flirtations" ... where I shared my experiences of guys flirting while I was completely oblivious until it was too late. A few other guys shared similar experiences, but I'm sure it happens a lot.

Guys knew I wanted it before I knew it. If he seems confused by your flirt, try again. Take it slow and give him time to accept. Above all, make sure he feels safe and his feeling are normal and OK.

 

[Jmmmms25]

In US just post on reddit threads that you are a cuck or cuck curious, then tons of guys will contract you for convo or meetups, you don't even need a wife or girlfriend, its basically an open tell. If you do discuss it as a fantasy being a cuckold for guys hooking with her. Most of those doing that from the bull side will top the cuck sexually. Just my experience

 

[SPARTAN047]

In US just post on reddit threads that you are a cuck or cuck curious, then tons of guys will contract you for convo or meetups, you don't even need a wife or girlfriend, its basically an open tell. If you do discuss it as a fantasy being a cuckold for guys hooking with her. Most of those doing that from the bull side will top the cuck sexually. Just my experience

Sort of true, most of them might want to confirm if you have a wife or gf but they'll all try.

 

[Jmmmms25]

I am a long time IRL dominant straight male, that was involved with wives and cuck relationships, as the bull, but with plenty of bi cuck interaction. If anyone wants a perspective from the other side let me know.

 

[Jordanjack]

I’ve never been conquered, but i do have a close friend that knows I’m bi. He may try to take advantage of that someday, and I am ready for it.

 

[liqueur]

The questions I have for the tops or the conquested straight guys are:

I assume you're talking about first times? It has to be gaydar. I was hit on lots of times in my teens and 20s, by usual older men. The thing is, they were really tuning into something other than overt signals— because at that stage in my life, I wasn't even in touch with myself enough to know that was what i wanted.

How did the top probe/find out?

So the first actual time, my girlfriend at that time set me up with a gay friend of hers.

How did the top then progress the situation?

It was a mixed up muddled up mess. First of all he wasn't really a top. He was just playing that role because he knew that was what I wanted. Second, what he was really looking for was romance. It was too early in the experiment for me to even be thinking about that— I just wanted sex. And he knew that from the outset, but he thought he could change my way of thinking. It didn't work out.

What ended up happening?

Ultimately, not much. The first time we got naked, I gave him head— but I already knew the chemistry wasn't there. We remained close friends for years, but were never really sexual again.

So I guess I'm not much help to you. In my case, the more pertinent question might be, “with those early would-be seducers, how did they attempt to proceed?” In the case that stands out most clearly in my memory, he tried very hard to persuade me to give it a try. And I told him i was flattered by his interest, but that just wasn't me. (How little I knew of myself!)

The  thing is, looking back, I think that probably any one of those men in those early years could have had their way with me, if only they'd used the sorts of seduction rituals that have been successful with girls for centuries— but they didn't want a “girl”, they wanted a boy, and they couldn't understand why I was playing hard to get.

 

[Britva415]

I'm really interested in how people get there without using dating sites/apps

Why not?

How bad do you want it?

Apps make it hella easy.

Can you talk us through an encounter where a gay guy has "detected a target" and how they progressed it until the point of it being sexual?

I'm trying to find the cues like:

- prolonged eye contact
- physically getting closer and eventually to personal space
- touch test/touching

Like how did you know you were even being hit on?

When it happens, you know. Like someone else said, the eye contact is key at the start. Then the rest proceeds as you described - IF you let the guy past the eye contact attempt instead of blocking him by ignoring it. More on this subject below.

But

I too ask the question, "how did he know?"

OK, boys, here's the thing:

Maybe he didn't.

Maybe it was wishful thinking. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Maybe he does this to lots of guys and is suave enough to make you feel special when it's your turn.


There are all these questions and all these threads about this. It seems to me like people want men to just come on to them out of nowhere, so that it's someone else who's doing ALL the work of figuring out who would be receptive and someone else is doing ALL the work of initiating.

I have two things to say:

First, make eye contact. If you see eye contact coming from someone else, then, allow it. Don't just do that thing men do where you block it by looking away. Straight men do this. You can't know if someone's interested in you if you aren't looking, yourself. You cannot signal your availability and interest if you won't look back.

Second, we do have a couple of fairy-tale success stories here, where a man basically "seemed to know" someone would be open to it. But you can go your whole life hoping and wishing for that and never having it happen. So, like I asked above, how bad do you want it?

If you want the other guy to do ALL the work, you might be waiting a long time. Maybe forever.

If all you want is the fantasy, you're in good company around here. But if you want more, don't turn your nose up at the apps. Don't "play dumb" when you look to see if you're being checked out. Don't expect to be swept off your feet when you won't take any chances, yourself.

Dare to look. Dare to act available. Dare to send a signal.

It doesn't take much: The other guy will meet you more than half way, but not if you won't take the least little step, yourself.

How bad do you want it?

 

[Britva415]

In US just post on reddit threads that you are a cuck or cuck curious, then tons of guys will contract you for convo or meetups, you don't even need a wife or girlfriend, its basically an open tell. If you do discuss it as a fantasy being a cuckold for guys hooking with her. Most of those doing that from the bull side will top the cuck sexually. Just my experience

This seems like a sideways way to go about it. There are reddits for gay sex. No "pretend cuckery" necessary.

 

[Britva415]

they didn't want a “girl”, they wanted a boy, and they couldn't understand why I was playing hard to get.

Well put! Well put.

 

[liqueur]

The questions I have for the tops or the conquested straight guys are:
How did the top probe/find out?

I was just reviewing this, and want to clarify my earlier response: although I didn't “give in” to the many older guys who propositioned me when I was young (or to my own inchoate cravings)— and although, as I said before, the fact that they singled me out had to be from unconscious signals I was sending— when they actually did hit on me, there was nothing subtle about it. Conversation openers were questions like “Hey. Want to suck my cock?” Or if I was hitchhiking, which I did a lot in those days, like “I'll give you a ride as far as San Luis Obispo, if you'll give me head.”

As for the ones who weren't blunt, I was absolutely clueless. 50+ years later, I'm still remembering various people in various situations and kicking myself thinking “Duh! That's what that was all about!”

Oh, the opportunities lost...

 

[OlderBtm4U]

Indeed

 

[dingdongditchding]

I got hit on by men and women when I was wearing my wedding ring. I am divorced but I need to start wearing it again

 

[chapter6plan]

As for the ones who weren't blunt, I was absolutely clueless. 50+ years later, I'm still remembering various people in various situations and kicking myself thinking “Duh! That's what that was all about!”

Oh, the opportunities lost...

Same ... I shared some of my stories in a thread ... Failed Flirtations

(Would love to hear your stories)