long-distance meetings

[Sadie_Maso]

hey, I've been lurking around a while but never posted. Hope this question hasn't been addressed - sorry if it has.

What do you do if you go a long distance to meet someone, and there’s no chemistry?
My tickets are flexible (can change return-date), but I’m still super-nervous.
If anyone has had this happen, how did you deal with it?

thanks for any advice

 

[morninggirl5]

I think you handle the fact that there's no chemistry the same way you would meeting someone locally. Accept that there's nothing more than friendship there (if there's that much), end the meeting on a good note and move on.

If you don't want to change your return date, find something to do. Unless you're meeting someone in a small town in the middle of nowhere, there's going to be something to do during your stay.

 

[Etoile]

Yep, I'd agree with morninggirl. The only thing I would add is that if this is a BDSM-type relationship meeting, make sure you're in a safe environment while you're finding out whether there's "chemistry" or not. Don't wait until you're tied up to determine if you like this person! (And if you're the one doing the tying-up...well...I dunno!)

 

[catalina_francisco]

I've had this happen once, though he was the one who came a long way. I suspected it would not happen as he was hoping, but he wanted the chance anyway. We discussed it once it was obvious it was not going to happen for us, and as he was a guest in my country I did as I always do for friends who visit and showed him as many beautiful sights as were possible, then advised him what was the best tour to take for what else he wanted to see and do, then on his return, shared the last couple of days with him dining and enjoying more sightseeing. He had fun, I enjoyed the company, and we remain friends even today.

Catalina

 

[Kataklysm]

The only long distance meeting I have had was everything I expected and more. I would think if you don't have chemistry..you just don't have it. Be honest and open but not cruel. It happens.

 

[sabersedge]

Make sure you can make other arrangements

If it does not click make sure you can both part peacefully. If both are stuck in the same Hotel, Resort, B&B it can be difficult. Make sure you or your partner can stay somewhere else.

I think if you are asking this you are jumping into meeting too soon. You should be sure enough that the first meeting would be at least pleasant.

Catalina,
You reminded me of a shaky first meeting. I didnt stay with her the first night. I did just as you mentioned. I showed her around the area and it broke the ice. We had a very wonderful relationship for a number of years.

 

[WriterDom]

For me, if there was chemistry before we meet, then it is almost certain that there will be in real life. But as a Dom, I think you have the responsibility to both look ahead beyond the first meeting and be clear on expectations on both sides, and to assess if a one time meeting will do her more harm than good once the deed is done.

 

[guy_fit_gta]

Take a chance

Whatever you do, make sure things are clicking before you meet. I took the leap and flew across Canada a year and hald ago to meet a woman, and it the the best move I ever made in my life. We now take turns traveling back and forth across the country as much as we can to spend time with each other, and as much as I miss her while we are apart, I wouldn't give it up for anything. I do agree about accomodations when you first meet. She lived there, but we got a hotel and we agreed that her staying the nite with me at the hotel was optional, well, she stayed, and its been the thrill of a lifetime ever since.