live the part to write it? need advice....

[Jade]

Okay, likely I will get some aweful flak from writing this... admitting this, but, I really would like to write at least one story about women only, however, I have never actually been with a woman, despite being bi, b/c I married young. (excuses excuses I know..) Anyway, my husband says he would love for me to do what makes me happy, (although he is a little afraid of losing me to a woman!)...and I really want to but I don't want to be a hated adultress...Anyway, the Amatuer Guide to Writing Erotica thing says to write what you know, so ... well, what should I do? Please do NOT tell me to get therapy! All responses appreciated, thanks!

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by Jade:
the Amatuer Guide to Writing Erotica thing says to write what you know, so ... well, what should I do?

You 'know' what you would like another woman to do to you, and you 'know' what you would like to do to you. So write what you 'know'.

The adage about 'write what you know' can't really apply to fantasies. It's not necessary to live out a fantasy before you write about it. Of course, if you do live out a fantasy, you can then write about it from a different kind of knowledge.

Write what you know refers more to the tendency of new writers to set their story in some exotic locale they've never seen and trying to describe it in detail. Or writing about a job they've never had any contact with and misusing the jargon.

Use what you already know about yourself and what you find attractive in another woman to form the basis of your story. If you come upon a concept you don't know about, then research the point until you 'know' about it intelectually even if you haven't actually experienced it.

 

[Jenne64]

Jade,
I say go for it, the writing that is. As WH say's you don't actually have to have physically experienced something to write about it. Thinking about it can be enough, I've written stories about things that I've never experienced and am never likely to, doesn't stop me thinking and writing about it though, it shouldn't you either.
I treat writing as a way to express myself through my character. I may have always wanted to be tied up and whipped, I can't do that but what's to stop my character, she'd in my imagination and the skies the limit. Image the character, if you're like me you will actually be able to she her in your minds eye and her actions, write what you feel, what you see, what she's doing, let her guide you.
Hope that helps, just try freeing your mind and forget about what's right or wrong, there are no rights or wrongs in fiction ( ok WH kick my arse for saying that, see if I care-))
As for whether you should try the bi side of your personality only you can decide that. If you want to talk about it email me, can't say fairer than that can I.
I'm out of here before WH comes after me.
Jenne64

 

[Dakota Ryan]

Jade, how are you hun? I have writen about things I have done and haven't done. It doesn't matter either way. If you know what you would like to do then write about that. Make it a fantasy.... or a dream.... use your real life wants,just give it a try... that's what i do....have fun with it hun
Charlie

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by jenne64:
... there are no rights or wrongs in fiction ( ok WH kick my arse for saying that, see if I care-))
...
I'm out of here before WH comes after me.
Jenne64

Now why would I want to kick your arse? Spank it maybe, but not kick it.

There are things that work, and things that don't work in fiction. That doesn't make them right or wrong in any absolute sense. Just right or wrong for that particular story.

 

[SpecialK]

Hi Jade,

I have had several people ask me if my stories were taken from real life experiences or just from my head. I have yet to experience anything I have written about (at least completely). The important thing about writing one's fantasies, is to keep within the realm of realism as much as possible.

As for you wanting to have an experience with a woman but do not want to commit adultery, have you thought about a cyber sex experience with a lesbian or bisexual woman? You might find that doing that sort of thing with someone who has had the experiences in real life will fill in any gaps in your knowledge. I know there must be thousands of lesbian/bisexual chat rooms around where you could find someone who would facilitate this with you.

Good luck, Jade! I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out. And don't underestimate the power of your own imagination.

K

 

[Gary1]

I like all kinds of stories. Girl/girl, zoophilia (bestiality), non-human, non-consent, and best of all ... a good erotic, sensuous, romance. I am not a fantasy writer. I write strickly factual material. Very boring. I write manuals and techs. Not exciting. I love to get lost in a good "fantasy" that holds my attention. I love to be entertained and I enjoy happy endings. Try to have all that in real life. Not... Just enjoy what you write and let others enjoy it too. No one said that you have to live out your fantasies. After all ... some would be impossible and others extremely unpleasant to you or others. That is why there is fantasy. Enjoy ... FYI

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Hi, Jade,

I think it's true what people are saying, that you don't have to have experienced something to be able to adequately imagine it. But, real life experiences can help you to bring your fiction alive. It's so much easier to write about an apple if you've actually seen, smelled, felt and tasted an apple.

I've submitted a new story here that's based around a lesbian fantasy. Apart from playful snogging, I've never actually had any sexual experience with another woman. As far as I know, I'm totally straight. I often fantasise about women but I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable putting these fantasies into practice. (Maybe I'd feel TOO comfortable - heh-heh!)

I like to think that I'm a good enough writer, and that I've had enough experience of my own body and other people (even if they ARE all men) to convincingly write pretty much any kind of sexual scenario without doing it for real first - even girl-on-girl.


But, if I was bi- or bi-curious I have to admit WOULD be strongly tempted to try it out at least once. Not necessarily as inspiration for my writing, though. Just to find out for myself what it was like - what I'd been missing out on. See how much fun it was.

It sounds to me, Jade, that you want to explore your sexuality further and that THIS is the important thing here. Not the story you're writing. Ask yourself - do you genuinely want to research your story or is it just an excuse?

Of course, you can explore your sexuality safely through fantasies, writing stories, maybe even cybersex. But, maybe you're at a stage where you want to take it to the next stage and try out sex with another woman for real.

Obviously, because you're in a relationship and your man has said that he feels a little insecure about the idea, it's something you've got to talk to HIM about. If he knows you love him and that you aren't going to leave him for a woman, he may end up LIKING the idea. Do you think you'd like him to watch or join in?

Sorry, but this is such an important thing that you're going to have to decide for yourself what to do.

love
rachel
xox

 

[Jade]

Not sure if I ever thanked you guys for all of your wonderful advice.
I was so thrilled that everyone took me seriously and had something helpful to say!

Thanks again...... I am going to go for it.... look for my story in another month or so! (It will definetely be about a first time experience.... hehe)



~Jade