Litiquette3

[Lord Pmann]

I was cut deep. Thank you, knights.

Right into that soggy, soft heart of yours, eh? My apologies, Mermaid.

Now, answer the question or you get another yo momma joke.

Also, as an aside, I feel like C Diddy is lurking in the shadows waiting for us to slide and get off on a tangent. Are you stalking us from the bushes, Papa C? Are you bush masturbating?

 

[Endless_Night]

What the heck is bush masturbating? It sounds painful.

I came here for the stories. About 6 months in I stumbled onto the forums. After a little lurking I made an account. Hanging out on the BDSM forum was a healing experience for me. For years I'd done my best to suppress my less than pc sexual desires. It was...nice (and such a relief!) to find that my sexual wants weren't really all that depraved.

Now, like P says, I mostly stay for the people. vvvv

There are truly some wonderful people here that I've enjoyed getting to know and they're people I would genuinely call friends, despite their rapey fantasies and the like.

 

[Lord Pmann]

What the heck is bush masturbating? It sounds painful.

Oh like you don't know about bushturbating. Puhleeeeease. We all do it at some point, where we lurk in the bushes at the house of our crush or ex and you masturbate while you watch them sleep. It's Stalking 101. It's less advanced than Bathturbating, because you have to get inside the house and bathroom to pull that one off (no pun intended).

 

[Mindfondler]

I came here for the stories. About 6 months in I stumbled onto the forums. After a little lurking I made an account. Hanging out on the BDSM forum was a healing experience for me. For years I'd done my best to suppress my less than pc sexual desires. It was...nice (and such a relief!) to find that my sexual wants weren't really all that depraved.

Now, like P says, I mostly stay for the people. vvvv

Thanks -- I enjoyed reading that!

It sounds as if your reasons for joining were very similar to mine (as I explained earlier).
.

 

[ElasticMermaid]

Right into that soggy, soft heart of yours, eh? My apologies, Mermaid.

Now, answer the question or you get another yo momma joke.

Also, as an aside, I feel like C Diddy is lurking in the shadows waiting for us to slide and get off on a tangent. Are you stalking us from the bushes, Papa C? Are you bush masturbating?

Answer the question?

Blah blah stories->forum->boring life->tit compliments.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Thanks -- I enjoyed reading that!

It sounds as if your reasons for joining were very similar to mine (as I explained earlier).
.

Just call me the matchmaker.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I found Literotica two years ago, when I used a certain unnamed search engine for 'erotic literature'. I didn't discover the boards until several months ago. It seemed like a fun place to chat with others so I joined. I thought people might be a little different than the people I chat with on Scrabble, and I was right.

 

[Lord Pmann]

So, some mermaid with big tits who likes compliments on said tits, who shall remain unnamed, bitched about the question being lazy yesterday. So I'll try to ask a more provactive question today.

Most of the people who come to Lit are a bit hornier or more sexual than the average bear. Or average human. So, this usually leads to some good stories. I'd like today to be a chance to tell any of those good stories or moments, where your horny nature got the better of your reasonable nature. They can be fun, pathetic, hot... Whatever. But I know you fuckers are kinky little bastards. And I know you've got stories. So don't be shy or I'll be sad and cry.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Oh my god. You fuckers are gonna clam up and be all shy aren't you? Suddenly you're a bunch of fucking saints.

Well I'll start it. I've told this story to a few people here over the years. Now you lot get to enjoy it. When I was younger, in order to curb my excessive masturbation habits, I had a wank jar. My buddy and I were talking one day about how we jerk off too much. Not together, creeps. But just in general. Like 4-6 times a day. I felt like I should be more in control of that. So, we decided that, every time we jerked off, we would throw $10 in a jar. And at the end of the week, we would swap semen stained money. Except that got really expensive. So then we lowered it to $5. And then we had to start wanking on margin. It lasted only a few weeks and we just accepted the fact that we would be wanky little horndogs for the rest of our lives.

 

[Suz_anne]

Oh my god. You fuckers are gonna clam up and be all shy aren't you? Suddenly you're a bunch of fucking saints.

Well I'll start it. I've told this story to a few people here over the years. Now you lot get to enjoy it. When I was younger, in order to curb my excessive masturbation habits, I had a wank jar. My buddy and I were talking one day about how we jerk off too much. Not together, creeps. But just in general. Like 4-6 times a day. I felt like I should be more in control of that. So, we decided that, every time we jerked off, we would throw $10 in a jar. And at the end of the week, we would swap semen stained money. Except that got really expensive. So then we lowered it to $5. And then we had to start wanking on margin. It lasted only a few weeks and we just accepted the fact that we would be wanky little horndogs for the rest of our lives.

In my mind, you two paid each other $10 to jerk each other off 4-6 times a day. Shhhhh, don't try to correct me - my version is hotter.

Let's see... against my better judgment, I fucked my roommate's boyfriend. She was passed out up in her loft bed (they'd been at a party) and we ended up screwing around on the couch below. One thing led to another (who knew sucking a dick would lead to sex???) and we were doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well.

I know this sounds completely against girl code, but this roommate was a twat. I ended up dating the guy for awhile after they broke up. And she was a twat.

 

[numeniusa]

This is kind of tame, but...

In the very early stages of my relationship with my man, when we were together on a business trip, we were somehow managing to get through the intensive working days on an hour's sleep a night, taking full advantage of the other night hours to, er, get to know each other properly.

At 2am on one of the nights, we decided we needed some fresh air, strolled out into the garden and sat on a bench to 'talk'. Of course, one thing led to another, and overcome with lust I rode him on the bench. In full view of the CCTV cameras, I fear. And possibly also the reception staff. There was ... smirking ... when we came back in.

I checked the following day. You could definitely see the bench from reception...

 

[Endless_Night]

Thanks -- I enjoyed reading that!

It sounds as if your reasons for joining were very similar to mine (as I explained earlier).
.

Honestly, I almost just quoted your answer as mine was so similar!

Such an emotional relief to know one isn't damaged goods, or some type of sexual deviant. So much time spent in embarrassed angst. Yet after roaming the Lit boards a while, I'm no longer sure I even qualify as kinky!

Just call me the matchmaker.

Matchmaker? Or match maker? *waggles eyebrows*

You are a stickman, after all.

 

[Endless_Night]

< Most of the people who come to Lit are a bit hornier or more sexual than the average bear. Or average human. So, this usually leads to some good stories. I'd like today to be a chance to tell any of those good stories or moments, where your horny nature got the better of your reasonable nature. They can be fun, pathetic, hot... Whatever. But I know you fuckers are kinky little bastards. And I know you've got stories. So don't be shy or I'll be sad and cry. >

I've got lots of stories! Great stories! Some really phenomenal ones, in fact.

*nods head vigorously*

All from two previous roommates. In retrospect (meaning after time spent on Lit), I'm pretty sure one of them was a sex addict.

My own stories, you ask? Yeah. Not so much. Remember, I'm the girl that found regular sex bland and boring, but was too mortified and ashamed to tell people what she did like. That = no stories. And a lot less sex than there should have been.

I am of course kicking myself now....

Answer the question?

Blah blah stories->forum->boring life->tit compliments.

Tit compliments?

*ponders*

Nope. Not exhibition-y enough. Besides, mine aren't as nice as yours.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I'm curious if our stories are going to be fodder for your wanking.

Against my better judgment, as a single mom working full time and going to college, I allowed a friend to talk me into having sex with her husband. Okay, it didn't take much talking, I was super busy, too busy to date, and it fit right in with my schedule, so to speak. Looking back, I should have atleast gotten dinner out of it.

 

[numeniusa]

I'm curious if our stories are going to be fodder for your wanking.

Against my better judgment, as a single mom working full time and going to college, I allowed a friend to talk me into having sex with her husband. Okay, it didn't take much talking, I was super busy, too busy to date, and it fit right in with my schedule, so to speak. Looking back, I should have atleast gotten dinner out of it.

Wow, that's really interesting, would like to know more about that... Did she not have sex with him? Did she want to watch? Or join in? Would you have wanted the dinner first (best not get too full to fuck), or afterwards (could be awkward if it didn't go well... ). If you'd like to answer, but not publicly, you could PM me. If you don't want to say more in any form, that's fine too!

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm curious if our stories are going to be fodder for your wanking.

I had a wank jar when I was younger. I hardly need fodder for my wanking.

The purpose of this question wasn't for fodder, but for good stories. Again, I said I had a wank jar. That's not exactly the most provocative of stories.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I had a wank jar when I was younger. I hardly need fodder for my wanking.

The purpose of this question wasn't for fodder, but for good stories. Again, I said I had a wank jar. That's not exactly the most provocative of stories.

I was just teasing...

 

[Suz_anne]

I had a wank jar when I was younger. I hardly need fodder for my wanking.

The purpose of this question wasn't for fodder, but for good stories. Again, I said I had a wank jar. That's not exactly the most provocative of stories.

I was just teasing...

Don't let him fool you, this is all designed to add imagery to Pmann's spank bank.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Don't let him fool you, this is all designed to add imagery to Pmann's spank bank.

Which goes into my literal spank bank, aka my wank jar.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I was just teasing...

Nooooooo harm done.

I'm a delightful fella.

 

[Suz_anne]

Which goes into my literal spank bank, aka my wank jar.

I still think that sounds like a jar full of semen. Just sayin'.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I still think that sounds like a jar full of semen. Just sayin'.

Uhhhhhhhhhh. No. Uhm. That's not what I meant at all. Of course not.

 

[Suz_anne]

I'm pretty sure I've scared everyone away from the thread with talk of your jar o'semen.

Sorry, everyone. I'll stop. Please come back.

 

[Mindfondler]

Honestly, I almost just quoted your answer as mine was so similar!

It's heartening to know that we've had similar journeys, with positive outcomes.

Such an emotional relief to know one isn't damaged goods, or some type of sexual deviant. So much time spent in embarrassed angst. Yet after roaming the Lit boards a while, I'm no longer sure I even qualify as kinky!

Kinky is the new normal! There's a whole wide spectrum out there, but the one thing that I've noticed about almost all kinksters that I've encountered is that they're very tolerant and respectful of that range, as long as RACK/SSC principles are observed. That's a lot more consideration than I generally observe in "normal" people.
.

 

[ChainedUp]

From the bushes it totally appears that Suz_anne is totally owning Pmann's ass, and not in a good way, dude.

The place seems no worse for wear, I think it can handle a little more absence but not much more