Litiquette2

[stickygirl]

That's a good question. I mean, isn't the emotional attachment what makes it meaningful? Isn't that what we do? We invest our emotions into our relationships to make them meaningful.

Yes it is A4L. This ^^ that, quite so and exactly

 

[MercedeSexy]

That's a good question. I mean, isn't the emotional attachment what makes it meaningful? Isn't that what we do? We invest our emotions into our relationships to make them meaningful.

I know I do.

 

[All_4_Love]

I know I do.

Me too, very much so. It feels like I have too much love to give away, even though I know that's not possible to have too much love. I invest a lot of emotion into the significant relationships in my life. It fulfills me.

 

[stickygirl]

Me too, very much so. It feels like I have too much love to give away, even though I know that's not possible to have too much love. I invest a lot of emotion into the significant relationships in my life. It fulfills me.

What are we if we stop valuing our emotions?

 

[All_4_Love]

What are we if we stop valuing our emotions?

Empty vessels? In complete denial?

There is nothing more painful to me than to deny or devalue my emotions. I let them flow with tenacity. This doesn't always make it easy for others to relate to me.

Alas, I continue to peel back the layers to the core of who I truly am.

 

[ydahecnot]

If you have a friendship, or more, here, I think you put your all into it, but know that the other person can go poof or can forget how to answer your messages, and be ready to have to move on. I think it's a new dichotomy that the Internet has created

 

[Endless_Night]

If you have a friendship, or more, here, I think you put your all into it, but know that the other person can go poof or can forget how to answer your messages, and be ready to have to move on. I think it's a new dichotomy that the Internet has created

A kinda creepy dichotomy.

But...I suppose some people do that kind of thing real life too. And it must hold some kind of appeal, or you wouldn't see an Internet increase.

 

[ydahecnot]

A kinda creepy dichotomy.

But...I suppose some people do that kind of thing real life too. And it must hold some kind of appeal, or you wouldn't see an Internet increase.

I think it's a function of sheer size with the Net; if one rejects you, options don't become proportionately limited

 

[All_4_Love]

If you have a friendship, or more, here, I think you put your all into it, but know that the other person can go poof or can forget how to answer your messages, and be ready to have to move on. I think it's a new dichotomy that the Internet has created

Yes, it is the same in real life. People and relationships are not possessions for us to keep. A reason, a season, or a lifetime. We don't ever know, so we have to be willing to let go and move on.

The dichotomy that the internet has created is a rather sad one, though. In real life, it just seems there is more of an opportunity for closure and most of us need that. There is more of an opportunity for authenticity. On the internet, you just never really know.

I know I would much rather have that closure. It just makes it easier to accept and move on. These internet relationships, be it friendships or more, where one person just up and disappears? That just adds insult to injury. That has to be such a heartbreak.

 

[SmileyGirl]

Meh...I think it's more to do with people wanting to 'play' around. Have your cake and eat it kind of mentality. For some people they can separate emotion, others can't and some, even though they think they can separate it can't. So the person who can separate the emotion can move on either not bothered by the message that gives the other person or they don't even realise because they don't see that relationship/friendship in the way the other party did.

 

[ydahecnot]

Yes, it is the same in real life. People and relationships are not possessions for us to keep. A reason, a season, or a lifetime. We don't ever know, so we have to be willing to let go and move on.

The dichotomy that the internet has created is a rather sad one, though. In real life, it just seems there is more of an opportunity for closure and most of us need that. There is more of an opportunity for authenticity. On the internet, you just never really know.

I know I would much rather have that closure. It just makes it easier to accept and move on. These internet relationships, be it friendships or more, where one person just up and disappears? That just adds insult to injury. That has to be such a heartbreak.

Very good point about closure; it can get iggied out of your grasp

 

[Miasorrow]

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

Are you implying my true nature is not kind and good?
Well, by nature I am ( or at least I think I am) a good person and when ever I feel like I lose my way I put me back on track..

Sex
Really? I did have one - no, two - passionate events through Lit but it was important to me that we clicked first because it made the sexy stuff much better. Strange thing was that once we'd done the sex thing, both relationships kinda blew themselves out. Maybe there was no mystery left to flirt about?

I have made several acquaintances. There are a few people here that I admire and adore; however, I have not formed an emotional attachment to anyone here. This is a significant contrast to how it would be if I knew anyone here in my real life. Perhaps life online affords an opportunity for that type of disconnect?

Exactly my case. It's amazing how sometimes you read what someone said and it's exactly how you feel.

Strolls in late. What no sense of panic? No lost souls? No need for direction? I feel so unneeded.

as I watch people come and go i feel myself becoming more jaded. I've realized that the biggest difference for me is that I've stopped having an emotional "attachment" to the people on the boards. That's not so say I don't have friends here but when I see that someone has walked away, I don't have that sense of loss anymore. This place is so fluid, you never know who is gone for a day , a week or forever. And even those forevers seem to always come back.

Is this a natural evolution to life at Lit or do I need to go find my rose colored glasses?

It often feels lonely on lit. Which is normal at least for me. Since I treat lit as a place where I can flirt and have fun. It's even a big advantage of lit that freedom that is gives you..to come and go without having to apologize or feel bad..most people here get that..

 

[rubydlite]

Strolls in late. What no sense of panic? No lost souls? No need for direction? I feel so unneeded.

as I watch people come and go i feel myself becoming more jaded. I've realized that the biggest difference for me is that I've stopped having an emotional "attachment" to the people on the boards. That's not so say I don't have friends here but when I see that someone has walked away, I don't have that sense of loss anymore. This place is so fluid, you never know who is gone for a day , a week or forever. And even those forevers seem to always come back.

Is this a natural evolution to life at Lit or do I need to go find my rose colored glasses?

I always feel a sense of loss even after all this time. If I take the time.to get to know someone it's because I genuinely like them for one reason or the other. Many do come back...and many I hope come back...and a select few I hope I never lose contact with

 

[cowslinger64]

Strolls in late. What no sense of panic? No lost souls? No need for direction? I feel so unneeded.

as I watch people come and go i feel myself becoming more jaded. I've realized that the biggest difference for me is that I've stopped having an emotional "attachment" to the people on the boards. That's not so say I don't have friends here but when I see that someone has walked away, I don't have that sense of loss anymore. This place is so fluid, you never know who is gone for a day , a week or forever. And even those forevers seem to always come back.

Is this a natural evolution to life at Lit or do I need to go find my rose colored glasses?

I don't think you should necessarily consider yourself jaded. IMO, and for me it just became tossing off the rose colored glasses and seeing this place for what it really is. It is a place for fun and fantasy. There are real people here, real good people even.. but this setting isn't realistic. I think far too many take this place far too seriously. I did that myself when I first came here. I also learned the hard way about falling too far into the fantasy. Others do that too...that's why you see them fall "in love" with people they've never met, sometimes with distances so great as to make it almost silly. Imo, regardless of what anyone says, you cannot possibly really know someone until you've spent a good amount of time with them. At least not enough to know you love them.

my two cents

 

[fun_size_sub]

I don't think you should necessarily consider yourself jaded. IMO, and for me it just became tossing off the rose colored glasses and seeing this place for what it really is. It is a place for fun and fantasy. There are real people here, real good people even.. but this setting isn't realistic. I think far too many take this place far too seriously. I did that myself when I first came here. I also learned the hard way about falling too far into the fantasy. Others do that too...that's why you see them fall "in love" with people they've never met, sometimes with distances so great as to make it almost silly. Imo, regardless of what anyone says, you cannot possibly really know someone until you've spent a good amount of time with them. At least not enough to know you love them.

my two cents

I agree 100%. I was an avid chatter in places such as this years ago as a college student and got way too sucked into things. I think part of that was my immaturity and naivete. For many reasons, I stayed away from bulletin boards, chat rooms, etc for a long time. Since finding Lit several months ago, I joined and began participating with the intention to play games and have fun. This does not mean that I have not made connections with certain individuals, but I 1) am happily married and 2) am cognizant of the fact that "knowing" someone online is so much different from really knowing someone. Hopefully that makes sense.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I like to wear my jade..

http://www.artfire.com/uploads/product/6/786/81786/5581786/5581786/large/_vintage_jadeite_carved_dragon_pendant_jade_bead_necklace_apple_jade_4bbe71b2.jpg

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I don't know why but I see a fist with poo on the knuckles. Yep... been at Lit too long.

lol

 

[Endless_Night]

Except for the whole more-open-about-my-sexuality thing I view Lit as just like any other place. My expectations would tie in with Ruby’s post. Any friendships I struck up I would treat, and expect to be treated, in the same way as an offline relationship. It’s not as though I’m a different person here than I am otherwise. Why would my behavior be different?

But...reading a lot of today’s posts has given me pause. Clearly many do see online as a different venue with different social mores. Why don’t I? I’m not quite sure, probably a combination of several things, including this being my first forum experience. Chalk it up to naiveté, I suppose.

Not the prettiest feeling….

 

[ChainedUp]

Happy Friday after a deep Thursday in here.

Personalities. I've asked about this in the past and most everyone says they're the same person here as they are in RL. I'm not sure I buy that. I mean if you say something long enough does it become the truth? So let's put a new twist on this question.

Many of you have met people from Lit and everyone has PM'd. What's the overall experience been for those of you who have met other litsters? My hunch is that the farther removed from posting in the threads you get with someone the more likely you're going to notice that their personality differs from how they post. Is that true?

 

[Thandi]

Happy Friday after a deep Thursday in here.

Personalities. I've asked about this in the past and most everyone says they're the same person here as they are in RL. I'm not sure I buy that. I mean if you say something long enough does it become the truth? So let's put a new twist on this question.

Many of you have met people from Lit and everyone has PM'd. What's the overall experience been for those of you who have met other litsters? My hunch is that the farther removed from posting in the threads you get with someone the more likely you're going to notice that their personality differs from how they post. Is that true?

Hmm. Waiting to hear the answers. ...

 

[SweetSam42]

I'm going to answer this by using myself as an example. My personality here is essentially who I am, with a few adjustments. I tend to be a bit more serious on this thread than I am in real life, and on my AmPics thread I am a bit more flirty and playful than in real life. Both are facets of my personality, just amplified a little here and there. I mean, the point of my Ampics thread is to have a good time, not lament about all the everyday shit that drags me down from time to time.

I've been told that I come across as thicker skinned on this thread and a few other more serious threads than I probably am. And I agree. But, that's my personality - I like to think I'm not as fragile as I sometimes am, I suppose. I've also been told that I'm funnier than expected when I get talking one on one. That's of course true. I'm hilarious.

I have been surprised by a few people here when I talk more one on one, some in a good way, some in a bad way. Most aren't very different than their online personas, just maybe some open up more via PM, so maybe it's just that I get to know them a bit better than just forum interaction.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

I'm going to answer this by using myself as an example. My personality here is essentially who I am, with a few adjustments. I tend to be a bit more serious on this thread than I am in real life, and on my AmPics thread I am a bit more flirty and playful than in real life. Both are facets of my personality, just amplified a little here and there. I mean, the point of my Ampics thread is to have a good time, not lament about all the everyday shit that drags me down from time to time.

I've been told that I come across as thicker skinned on this thread and a few other more serious threads than I probably am. And I agree. But, that's my personality - I like to think I'm not as fragile as I sometimes am, I suppose. I've also been told that I'm funnier than expected when I get talking one on one. That's of course true. I'm hilarious.

I have been surprised by a few people here when I talk more one on one, some in a good way, some in a bad way. Most aren't very different than their online personas, just maybe some open up more via PM, so maybe it's just that I get to know them a bit better than just forum interaction.

I like this post. I can relate a lot. I think I come across a bit more flirty and playful here than in real life. I'm very comfortable in my own skin and being genuine is important to me. I think most people would say about me, "oh, he's great when you get to know him." Though, many don't take the time.

The only surprise or disappointment for me is when I take the time to get to know someone and then they just disappear. I have not and would not ever do that. Even, if I had real life blow up on me. I would at least reach out via email, PM, IM or something and say, "I got this happening in my life and it needs attention." I value the connections that I make. This is true in real life and here. The only difference is that real life always comes first. I think most people can accept that.

 

[Lord Pmann]

For the most part, I have found that the personalities here are like they are in PM. I think the one thing I would say has been consistent is that we are all a lot softer than our online personas, when you get to the heart of it. I'd say our Lit personas might highlight aspects of ourselves we enjoy the most.

For me, I'm actually probably much deeper and I can be more serious than I act on here. I mean, some probably just consider me a pain in the ass thread derailer. But I'm actually deeper than whale pussy.

 

[All_4_Love]

But I'm actually deeper than whale pussy.

You don't know this about me, but I have actually been in whale pussy before.

 

[DesEsseintes]

You don't know this about me, but I have actually been in whale pussy before.

It should be illegal to drop a teaser like that and then go away! Details, madam, details!