Litiquette2

[Thandi]

Well children, did we all have fun yesterday? and whilst my badge is nice and shiny, there doesn't appear to be a need to whip it out and start issuing citations. Looks like everything was done in good taste and fun-loving spirit. I'll let things slide...this time

Letting things slide, to be honest, isn't something I'm good at. While I don't seek confrontation, I certainly have even less affinity for inaccuracies & laziness. I perscribe to the theory of "if it doesn't matter, why are you doing it?" I try to be better here, but as you all know, a leopard can't change its spots.

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

Welcome back!

I'm always striving to be a better person. Feels like I'm doing the cha cha lots though.

 

[dutchrain]

Holy fuck people. You outdid yourselves today! This may have been the wildest 24 hours in the the circus.

For those sharing concern, work decided it must come first.

For those taking advantage of the lawlessness, well done.

I guess I'll put my 7inch badge back in my pocket and let it shine itself, a sheriff knows when it's best to let the vagrants and anarchists wear themselves out, then show up and reclaim law and order...

https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5137860/il_570xN.192266297.jpg

Well children, did we all have fun yesterday? and whilst my badge is nice and shiny, there doesn't appear to be a need to whip it out and start issuing citations. Looks like everything was done in good taste and fun-loving spirit. I'll let things slide...this time

Letting things slide, to be honest, isn't something I'm good at. While I don't seek confrontation, I certainly have even less affinity for inaccuracies & laziness. I perscribe to the theory of "if it doesn't matter, why are you doing it?" I try to be better here, but as you all know, a leopard can't change its spots.

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

Wasn't it nice to see how well-behaved we are in your absence?

I am willing (and have been) to work against my true nature quite a lot. I have managed to reign my impatience to the point people compliment me in awe on the enormous amount of patience I display. Display, because true me is still very impatient. I just don't show it. Which makes me feel very awkward when I receive a compliment on my patience.

I also learned myself to keep the snark at an acceptable level. That was after I learned myself to overcome my shyness. Finding the balance was a bit difficult. It was easier when I was too shy to voice the snarky remarks which keep popping up in my mind all day long.

 

[All_4_Love]

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

My true nature has always been one of a good and kindhearted type since childhood, as far back as I can remember, so there is little, if any, resistance there to work against.

I will spend the rest of my life trying to grow and become a better person. I'll never stop trying to learn from my experiences and trying to find ways to become a stronger, more loving, giving, caring, and wise woman.

So, how much effort? A lifetime's worth.

 

[stickygirl]

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

Ha - I can't help but see the irony in that question. However, to the point, I'm inclined to be short-tempered and snap at people, I'm not brave enough when I need to be, I'm generally distrustful of people… those come to mind and I'm working on them.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I'm willing to put a lot of effort into making myself a better person, but I'm not sure I am willing to work against my true nature. I haven't found any part of my nature yet that I can't turn into something more positive. So if I have a portion of myself that needs work, I tend to amend it rather than work against it

 

[rubydlite]

Well children, did we all have fun yesterday? and whilst my badge is nice and shiny, there doesn't appear to be a need to whip it out and start issuing citations. Looks like everything was done in good taste and fun-loving spirit. I'll let things slide...this time



What if we were hoping for a citation?



My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

I always want and try to be a better person...but as I get older it comes more from within and less from trying to be something for someone else. In my teens being better meant getting good grades, pleasing my parents, not disappointing anyone. Now that I'm older and have my own children I realise the importance of being a better person from within.

Now, if instead of saying 'against your true nature ' and replaced it with 'against those that surround you' then it strikes a chord. My nature is to be a better person....but sometimes that doesn't jive with the adult in my house. How much effort am I willing to expend in this case....well..it depends. I'm not talking illegal or abusive situations...only an incompatibility of what the ideal person looks like to the other so....welcome to my inner struggle...

Hmph. ..Chains....did you say you had to go back to work again??? Lol....that question was heavy for me.... (but that is why I love this thread)

 

[Endless_Night]

< My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature? >

Infinite trouble. It’s practically an obsession, though I think my focus is more on improving my own behavior rather than gaining tolerance for other’s. I strive to be more helpful, more understanding, more generous, more patient, more forgiving, more tolerant, more brave. Not to mention, less critical and less indecisive. I have a looooooong list.

I want those around me to be happy, meaning I’m something of a people pleaser. That may not sound bad, but it’s actually a HUGE character flaw. How often should you forgive the same behavior? Or put yourself out for someone?

It’s easy to blur the line between improving yourself and letting others take advantage. When things get to be too much, I retreat into work, which allows me less “availability” for social time. Yeah, not very clean behavior.

These days I’m mono focusing on work. Except for when I pop in here and piffle! Easy to do, since I’m currently working from home.

 

[ViciousTease]

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

It is my true nature to be sarcastic at all times. My heart also wants to be completely loyal to a few and ignore all others. Every day, I challenge these parts of my nature. I rein in the sarcasm, which is why I often chuckle randomly. (There's a great deal of funny shit in my head that no one ever hears.) I also make a deliberate effort to be open and approachable. It's exhausting!

I look forward to being a crabby old person. Some days, that is the only thing that gets me through.

 

[Endless_Night]

So, what does a Chained citation look like?

Asking out of pure intellectual curiosity, of course!

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

So, what does a Chained citation look like?

Asking out of pure intellectual curiosity, of course!

I'm sure there is an easy way to find out

 

[dutchrain]

I look forward to being a crabby old person. Some days, that is the only thing that gets me through.

Me too!
It might be lucky we are not likely to wind up in the same old peoples home!

 

[Endless_Night]

I'm sure there is an easy way to find out

Really? After yesterday???

I'm not sure what it would take. I'm also not quite sure I want to find out!

 

[All_4_Love]

So, what does a Chained citation look like?

Asking out of pure intellectual curiosity, of course!

One could easily take said user name, "Chained Up", which leaves little to the imagination, and...

well...

Use your imagination.

Rawr!

 

[Endless_Night]

< I look forward to being a crabby old person. Some days, that is the only thing that gets me through. >

< Me too! >

Well, I happen to like the two of you just as you are.

* * *

Mind in gutter. *shakes head*

One could easily take said user name, "Chained Up", which leaves little to the imagination, and...

well...

Use your imagination.

Rawr!

 

[All_4_Love]

Mind in gutter. *shakes head*

Guilty as charged. I probably need a citation, heh

 

[BrokenRomantic]

My question is: how much of an effort are you willing to make to try and become a better person even if it means working against your true nature?

I think the phrase, "better person," is relative. What someone does to improve themselves greatly depends on what they feel their flaws are, and in some cases, what others feel their flaws are. Generally this means breaking out of habitual nature and doing something different which almost always goes against the grain.

If one person is unhappy with their body, they might want to start going to the gym or eating better. This requires a change of habit and persistence in changing old eating and exercising habits. If another person wants to improve their financial situation, this requires seeking better employment, new employment, or auxiliary employment. This is especially difficult, depending on the person's particular circumstances. Some people may just want to be a happier person or a more friendly person. This may require a personality overall and making a great deal of effort to change their outlook on themselves, the people around them, and the situational instances occurring on a daily basis.

The question shouldn't be how much effort are you willing to make, but should be are you really willing to make an effort? Change doesn't happen without the desire for change. I think this is the hardest thing to overcome. We can have the best intentions to change whatever we want to fix in ourselves, and even know how we want to go about it. Without strength, courage, and support, however, the whole effort is really sort of moot. You will fail.

Let's take a look at that particular need for change. Building some courage and strength to make change happen. Some people can just buckle down, pick their chin up, and push onwards and upwards. That takes a whole lot of strength and courage, and I'm always envious and in awe of them. Then there's others that always have that, "on an island all alone," feeling. They know what they need to do and want to do it. The desire is there, but there's no support and they need that. They need the positive encouragement, the reinforcement, the feedback, and even the occasional kick in the ass. Without that, all the courage and strength in the world will fall apart for them. They're just left with, "what am I doing all this for?" So will they pick up and keep trying, against the grain, to improve? Or will old habits settle in and fill that void once more? How many times do they have to keep taking those first few steps of the flight of change before they give up?

I didn't answer the question, but here's my 4 cents.

 

[Endless_Night]

No Chained again! Work must be keeping him crazy busy.

 

[All_4_Love]

I think the phrase, "better person," is relative.

Indeed, this is true. It is relative. How one person defines bettering themselves can be completely different than how another defines it. It's the same as how does one define success? One person may say by having lots of money and material things, while another will say by living your best life from the inside out.

For me, being a better person is more about peeling back the layers and just loving and accepting and honoring yourself for everything that you are, not necessarily changing anything. It is constantly connecting and reconnecting to the good within, the good that is already there from the moment of conception.

 

[ChainedUp]

Strolls in late. What no sense of panic? No lost souls? No need for direction? I feel so unneeded.

as I watch people come and go i feel myself becoming more jaded. I've realized that the biggest difference for me is that I've stopped having an emotional "attachment" to the people on the boards. That's not so say I don't have friends here but when I see that someone has walked away, I don't have that sense of loss anymore. This place is so fluid, you never know who is gone for a day , a week or forever. And even those forevers seem to always come back.

Is this a natural evolution to life at Lit or do I need to go find my rose colored glasses?

 

[Endless_Night]

I’ve formed a couple of emotional attachments in my time here.

But having only been on Lit about a year, and only really interacting with people for half that, there probably hasn't been enough time to become jaded. Is that what I have to look forward to?

So, anyway…I guess I can’t answer the question.

 

[All_4_Love]

Strolls in late. What no sense of panic? No lost souls? No need for direction? I feel so unneeded.

as I watch people come and go i feel myself becoming more jaded. I've realized that the biggest difference for me is that I've stopped having an emotional "attachment" to the people on the boards. That's not so say I don't have friends here but when I see that someone has walked away, I don't have that sense of loss anymore. This place is so fluid, you never know who is gone for a day , a week or forever. And even those forevers seem to always come back.

Is this a natural evolution to life at Lit or do I need to go find my rose colored glasses?

I have made several acquaintances. There are a few people here that I admire and adore; however, I have not formed an emotional attachment to anyone here. This is a significant contrast to how it would be if I knew anyone here in my real life. Perhaps life online affords an opportunity for that type of disconnect?

I do have many pairs of rose-colored glasses, though. They have always seemed to suit me well.

 

[All_4_Love]

This also makes me wonder, at what point does the line between real life and online start to blur? Is it when an emotional attachment starts to form? People can certainly become attached to each other without physically being in each others presence, maybe even more so of an attachment. Is that the moment that online becomes a part of your real life?

I’ve always been somewhat confused by the differentiation between Lit life and real life because at some point, your interactions here at Lit are going to take up space in your real life. It’s inevitable, the stronger the attachment becomes.

 

[stickygirl]

This place is so fluid, you never know who is gone for a day , a week or forever. And even those forevers seem to always come back.

Is this a natural evolution to life at Lit or do I need to go find my rose colored glasses?

I think you need to define what a relationship means on the web - what it means to the individuals concerned.
Help
I've had some great advice from individuals here and that's something reaches beyond the screen and has helped with my flesh n blood life.
Companionship
On some of the humorous threads I follow, I've cried with laughter and so, as humour is intended, I feel closer to those individuals - occasionally we PM.
Sex
Really? I did have one - no, two - passionate events through Lit but it was important to me that we clicked first because it made the sexy stuff much better. Strange thing was that once we'd done the sex thing, both relationships kinda blew themselves out. Maybe there was no mystery left to flirt about?

Just like in RL, people move and I miss them here at Lit. Do I miss them in RL too? Some I do, some less so, but I've always been grateful to share PMs and posts with folks I'd call friends.

 

[MercedeSexy]

I've realized that the biggest difference for me is that I've stopped having an emotional "attachment" to the people ... when I see that someone has walked away, I don't have that sense of loss anymore.

I don't have an answer to your question about whether or not this phenomenon is specific to Lit. Because people do often disappear for days or weeks, or longer, we begin to protect ourselves by becoming callous to it. I've noticed that the longer someone has been in this community, the more unaffected they are by such disappearances.

It's sad to think that the longer we're here, the less likely we are to establish meaningful relationships, though. That thought makes me kinda sad. I mean, hell, what's the point?

Or can we have meaningful relationships without becoming emotionally attached?

 

[All_4_Love]

Or can we have meaningful relationships without becoming emotionally attached?

That's a good question. I mean, isn't the emotional attachment what makes it meaningful? Isn't that what we do? We invest our emotions into our relationships to make them meaningful.