Litiquette2

[may_I_please]

Frick, I didn't realise I was nommed, well that changes everything

LOL

 

[Wide_eyed_Indulgence]

What? I missed an award for this thread? Where?

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I totally missed all of the Litties. sorry about that. I didn't win anything, did I?

 

[Callmetim]

What? I missed an award for this thread? Where?

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=60618503#post60618503

 

[Bitesback]

Now, now everyone, let's not get snarky and sling arrows. Litiquette-ville is full of love, if not love then Lust.

Rubes - I'm going to call you out on this one. That's exactly the kind of behavior that creates cliques and drives people away....... Cliques are the #1 reason, in my opinion, that make people not want to participate and what fun is Lit if we get all exclusive?

I think I've seen enough to know there is both love and lust readily on display throughout Lit. But there are also other displays which I think are much less friendly and inclusive, whether intended or not. I've found The Playground much less interesting and engaging lately and from my occasional observation of the number of members viewing, it would appear I am not the only one. Ihateclowns may have just had his popularity awards, but people are voting with their feet.

I completely concur with Chained on the matter of cliques (except about the exclusivity part, Lit can be fun if members get exclusive, but do so privately...). Whether it's a perception of cliques, or threads dominated by cool kids, or threads peppered with in-jokes, or hard to read fonts, these change the openness that I thought was the goal of The Playground. I am sure these elements have come and gone over the years. However, there has been a proliferation of late, not to mention a huge flurry of new threads, and while they can encourage debate and participation, it may be making others feel unwelcome or reluctant to participate.

What are your thoughts on awards. I get that the show around them can be fun, but do we as a society need people to affirm or inform what is good/great for us?

I'm not a fan of popularity contests. That said, those awards were clearly intended as an amusing change of focus and pace for the PG. However, while the campaigning for votes was minimal, and some people were unaware they had been nominated, there is potential for plenty of attention seeking behaviour to dominate the PG to play up for the awards and this could alienate others. On the plus side, they can introduce other members to new threads and people. Lit itself has plenty of threads for people to seek affirmation (Fuck or Pass..and many others) and many members comment on posts and affirm and inform on various matters and personalities.
As a society, with more ways to gain access to information and share thoughts and opinions than ever before, awards may be less relevant. We can inform ourselves about much that might be good for us. The awards with real value are those which not only acknowledge valuable contributions to advance humankind and our communities, but provide directly or indirectly the means for those contributions to be better funded and access to benefits expanded.

As an aside...Isn't Litiquette about affirming and informing about what is good for us and for Lit?

Yeah, it's a total thread derailment but I'm loving it.

*news flash...identify and play to Chained's proclivities for all future derailments of his thread

 

[SweetSam42]

Even if in the spirit of fun, those awards just reinforced to me how clique-y the PG is, and another reason I don't spend a lot of time here.

I'm never a fan of popularity contests, and don't understand why one is necessary on this forum. I could probably get behind the "best new thread" or similar thread awards, but awards for individual users? I just find that silly and exclusive.

I'm all for attention, and fully admit to liking (very much) the attention I get from my posts and pictures. I don't, however, like attention at the expense of others.

People have occasionally tried to start threads on AmPics about "sexiest female thread" or similar. I think that defeats the spirit of posting amateur pictures - it's not a contest, it's just supposed to be fun. Same idea carries for me over here. The PG seems to be a fun place for a lot of folks here, and that's terrific. I just don't find most of these threads very welcoming or inclusive.

 

[All_4_Love]

Even if in the spirit of fun, those awards just reinforced to me how clique-y the PG is, and another reason I don't spend a lot of time here.

I'm never a fan of popularity contests, and don't understand why one is necessary on this forum. I could probably get behind the "best new thread" or similar thread awards, but awards for individual users? I just find that silly and exclusive.

I'm all for attention, and fully admit to liking (very much) the attention I get from my posts and pictures. I don't, however, like attention at the expense of others.

People have occasionally tried to start threads on AmPics about "sexiest female thread" or similar. I think that defeats the spirit of posting amateur pictures - it's not a contest, it's just supposed to be fun. Same idea carries for me over here. The PG seems to be a fun place for a lot of folks here, and that's terrific. I just don't find most of these threads very welcoming or inclusive.

Well said. I concur.

 

[Mindfondler]

I didn't have much of a reaction when I first read about the Litties. Perhaps I raised an eyebrow, but my immediate feeling was that it was just something else in The Playground that wasn't relevant to me -- I'm not noticeable enough to warrant a nomination myself, and I don't spend enough time in the various PG threads to be worthy of making one.

Later on, it occurred to me that there was a problem with the concept that the Litties are just a bit of fun and not a popularity contest. Clearly, many of the categories are inherently a popularity contest -- and one within a self-selecting subset of Litsters (I won't invoke the "c" word at this stage!).

At that point, I may have frowned momentarily, and I posted to say that it would all end in tears, but my attempt at subversive humour was probably too subtle to be appreciated (certainly my posting didn't seem to be noticed!).

After that, I didn't bother looking at the Littie threads any more, and I was only reminded about them when Chained made his posting above. I don't think I missed anything, and I still don't have any strong feelings about the concept, but I'm uneasy about the possibility that some other Litsters may have spuriously attached greater significance to it.
.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

I'm like the Scorsese of the Litties. I SHOULD have swept the thing but nooooooooo.

(I'm totally kidding)

 

[lexieredefined]

I don't think I missed anything, and I still don't have any strong feelings about the concept, but I'm uneasy about the possibility that some other Litsters may have spuriously attached greater significance to it.
.

I participated in the fun. It was just that to me. A much needed laugh on a bad day. However I do agree some people will attach a greater significance to it.

I could argue that for all of the Lit boards though. Some areas agree more inviting than others. I initially started not to post here (generally) because people seemed to have known each other forever and newcomers were the outliers.

Each thread if you think about it is its own clique. Not everyone posts in the same threads. Each thread has its regulars. One could call thread his thread cliquish, even though that is not the intent, because the same people respond.

I think it's just a thing we do as humans. We find like minded people and associate with them. I don't know a way to combat it other than to try and be inclusive to all and take things with a grain of salt (especially on Lit)

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I participated in the fun. It was just that to me. A much needed laugh on a bad day. However I do agree some people will attach a greater significance to it.

I could argue that for all of the Lit boards though. Some areas agree more inviting than others. I initially started not to post here (generally) because people seemed to have known each other forever and newcomers were the outliers.

Each thread if you think about it is its own clique. Not everyone posts in the same threads. Each thread has its regulars. One could call thread his thread cliquish, even though that is not the intent, because the same people respond.

I think it's just a thing we do as humans. We find like minded people and associate with them. I don't know a way to combat it other than to try and be inclusive to all and take things with a grain of salt (especially on Lit)

omg...
You've gone done it now. You used my definition of "clique."
Prepare for reprimand, young lady.

You, my dear, are going to get into trouble for this...

:caning:

 

[ChainedUp]

For the purposes of this thread a clique is hereby defined as a group of people with similar interests who actively discourage others from participating.

A group of people with similar interests is a club. I tend to think of each thread more as a club than a clique.

Now, we return to regular programming.

 

[lexieredefined]

omg...
You've gone done it now. You used my definition of "clique."
Prepare for reprimand, young lady.

You, my dear, are going to get into trouble for this...

:caning:

LOL - well if you look at it on a very basic level, I believe it's true. This is what I believe though and it sure as heck ain't gospel.

Why are we all here? Attention. To fill in missing gaps. Friends. Fuck buddies. Whatever it is, we are here for a reason. Some of us seek attention for our bodies. Some of us for our intelligence. We all think we are experts on certain subject matter.

When you put people together looking for certain fulfillment groups will naturally form. People will bond with those who closest represent themselves or can complete a missing piece. When someone outside that wants in, we tend to shun them.

There are times we forget there are people behind these computers and smart phones. Some times feelings will get hurt. Some times people take things too seriously. When you involve feelings, people will feel left out.

It's no different than in real life. Here we just have constant reminders of the power of words and can visually see the effects of grouping (or cliques)

 

[funluvinaj]

For the purposes of this thread a clique is hereby defined as a group of people with similar interests who actively discourage others from participating.

A group of people with similar interests is a club. I tend to think of each thread more as a club than a clique.

Now, we return to regular programming.

I don't think it has to be actively discouraging other from participating… sometimes just ignoring someone is enough to have it be cliquey.

For example, let's say someone posts on a thread that is new to them and there are a variety of posts, including the OP, that post after that but don't acknowledge that you posted. That is not very welcoming and sends a message that the person is not all that welcomed. I know when I post at thread that has a regular group of people, if not even the OP welcomes me to the thread I don't come back. THat's not me being childish… just why bother wasting my time where my input is not needed or wanted.

 

[Bitesback]

I don't think it has to be actively discouraging other from participating… sometimes just ignoring someone is enough to have it be cliquey ...........why bother wasting my time where my input is not needed or wanted.

AJ has identified how easy it is create an environment which excludes members. Sadly, it's one which I think is pretty much the norm. The worst examples occur when threads are derailed and someone posts to get back on topic, only to find that their post is completely ignored. It sits there and stands out like a sore thumb while others continue with their intent. Yes, derailments can be amusing, but genuine attempts to refocus should also be acknowledged. And perhaps serve as a nudge to get back on track.

 

[SweetSam42]

I don't think it has to be actively discouraging other from participating… sometimes just ignoring someone is enough to have it be cliquey.

For example, let's say someone posts on a thread that is new to them and there are a variety of posts, including the OP, that post after that but don't acknowledge that you posted. That is not very welcoming and sends a message that the person is not all that welcomed. I know when I post at thread that has a regular group of people, if not even the OP welcomes me to the thread I don't come back. THat's not me being childish… just why bother wasting my time where my input is not needed or wanted.

AJ has identified how easy it is create an environment which excludes members. Sadly, it's one which I think is pretty much the norm. The worst examples occur when threads are derailed and someone posts to get back on topic, only to find that their post is completely ignored. It sits there and stands out like a sore thumb while others continue with their intent. Yes, derailments can be amusing, but genuine attempts to refocus should also be acknowledged. And perhaps serve as a nudge to get back on track.

I agree with you both - and these things seem to be pretty pervasive here in the PG, especially as of late. Lots of inside jokes, threads that I don't have the slightest idea what they're about.

I'm all for having a good time on forums - flirting, joking, etc - but please at least acknowledge the presence of others who try to join in.

 

[funluvinaj]

I agree with you both - and these things seem to be pretty pervasive here in the PG, especially as of late. Lots of inside jokes, threads that I don't have the slightest idea what they're about.

I'm all for having a good time on forums - flirting, joking, etc - but please at least acknowledge the presence of others who try to join in.

It doesn't just happen to me on the PG.. I got it in a couple other threads lately in the darkroom lounge and fetish & sexuality. I definitely don't feel like I belong. I feel like I'm whining but it's not just my imagination...

 

[lexieredefined]

The ladies above have expressed exactly what I am saying. I'm guilty of inside jokes, derailing threads, etc. When you get to know a bunch of people, it's natural. I just think it's important we acknowledge that it does happen... and as SweetSam says, try to at least acknowledge the presence of those who would like to join our groups or cliques whatever you will call them.

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

Awards: Awards are generally won by backroom deals, prearranged social messaging, and outright purchasing of the award. I really can't remember the last movie I could stand that won an award. Books are even worse in my opinion. Even the Best Sellers List can be manipulated by the publishing houses.

Fonts: They don't bother me. I never thought they were meant to be not seen. For those posters I like, I click and drag to see what they said. I've always identified those that font with each other as friends not cliques.

Cliques: Each forum is basically a clique. Within that clique, friendships and personalities that seem to gravitate towards one another on certain threads. If you want to figure out which like being in a clique, they're the ones that tell people to go back to their forum. Those that ignore the "new kid" are generally just snobs that don't want to bother with new friends or view them as competition. Though, be here for too long, and you'll see the same personalities come and go so often you don't even bother responding.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

there's a difference between wanting to join a clique and wanting to join in

My opinion on awards? They're often a matter of being in the right place at the right time… or the wrong of each, depending on your point of view. I think they're special when they exhibit a sense of selflessness that has contributed to a greater good.. Jonas Salk really should have won the Nobel Prize (talk about wrong place/wrong time!)
Other than that.. they can be fun.. they can be self serving..
I'm not sure it matters enough to develop an opinion

 

[All_4_Love]

It doesn't just happen to me on the PG.. I got it in a couple other threads lately in the darkroom lounge and fetish & sexuality. I definitely don't feel like I belong. I feel like I'm whining but it's not just my imagination...

No, it's not your imagination. It's like high school reincarnate.

*rolls eyes*. How old are we? lol

 

[lacandy]

I don't think it has to be actively discouraging other from participating… sometimes just ignoring someone is enough to have it be cliquey.

For example, let's say someone posts on a thread that is new to them and there are a variety of posts, including the OP, that post after that but don't acknowledge that you posted. That is not very welcoming and sends a message that the person is not all that welcomed. I know when I post at thread that has a regular group of people, if not even the OP welcomes me to the thread I don't come back. THat's not me being childish… just why bother wasting my time where my input is not needed or wanted.

I agree with you both - and these things seem to be pretty pervasive here in the PG, especially as of late. Lots of inside jokes, threads that I don't have the slightest idea what they're about.

I'm all for having a good time on forums - flirting, joking, etc - but please at least acknowledge the presence of others who try to join in.

Yes, yes, and yes!!

I've been around this place for a few years and am not shy about posting...obviously...but(and this happened today) when you try to put yourself out there a little and post, and to have the person in front of and behind you acknowledged and be skipped over, it makes you think "okay off to a new thread" because why do I want to waste what little time I have here being ignored?? Hell I get that enough at home...

Or the worst is the "person above" threads when someone goes 10 posts back so that they can say that they have seen someone naked...I'm not talking about Lit Lag issues when two people post within minutes of each other and someone get skipped...that's just bad luck - I'm talking about someone going back 10 or 20 posts. I'm glad that you are talking dirty or seeing boobies, but can we please play the game the correct way? (and yes...I am a controlling bitch in real life )

 

[Aquagal]

I wonder if men feel there are cliques, or excluded from groups. As far as myself seeing it, sure. Feeling it, no. I probably don't help matters by openly admitting I alienate myself. I'm ok with observing, posting and being on my way.

Being skipped over in "above you" threads has been going on forever and just plain bad manners. In question threads, if I am playing along and see that, I'll make it known in a question form the rules of the game. Pointing it out to someone is usually enough for them to take notice.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I wonder if men feel there are cliques, or excluded from groups.

I've never thought there were cliques. Lots of dicks though. But I've never felt there was a bro pow wow I couldn't join. But everyone wants me, so that may be different for me.

 

[Aquagal]

I've never thought there were cliques. Lots of dicks though. But I've never felt there was a bro pow wow I couldn't join. But everyone wants me, so that may be different for me.

I've clicked a lot of dicks.