Litiquette2

[pfflyerhot]

If it has been that long, and you ever have sex with a real-life person again, I am almost certain that your thoughts are going to be much, much dirtier than "whoa, I'm having sex"... just sayin'

Yeah, it has been that long...and, I was paraphrasing with the "Whoa...I'm having sex".

 

[SweetSam42]

I plead the 5th.

But really, I don't think there's much harm in fantasizing about other partners/situations during actual sex. I'm willing to bet that most of us do it in some capacity, either thinking about a porn scene, an ex lover, etc., at least in flashes. I think it's perfectly natural to happen on occasion. Now, start fantasizing about a particular someone a little too often, in place of that RL relationship, well, then you might have a problem brewing.

Oh, and fantasizing about a RL partner during online play? I think my feelings would be hurt - I mean, I'm supposed to be the fantasy!

 

[ViciousTease]

Slips into a quiet Sunday morning. Hoping that you all were able to get the orgasm you wanted yesterday

I'm curious, and you certainly don't have to incriminate yourself, but I wonder what percentage of the people here think about other Litsters while having sex with a RL partner? My hunch is at least 50%.

I don't. I realize that's a very boring answer, but I don't. There's a very old saying, "Dance with the one that brought ya." When I'm with someone, RL or virtual, I give that person all of my attention. I fantasize on my own time.

 

[Aquagal]

This is an interesting question. I have a feeling that gender might be the defining mark in the sand. I imagine that more women would be the ones to fantasize of a LIT partner while being with someone in real life, while men would go the other way. Men are stimulated by visuals. I don't think it would be easy for men to imagine a LIT partner during a RL encounter. Think of a different RL partner? That's probably a lot easier to do. This just seems to make practical sense to me.

I also think it's more likely that women would engage in cyber encounters, due to lack of real life satisfaction from their RL partner, than men do. I may be stereotyping a bit and I apologize for that. I'm also not saying every woman does that or that every woman even has erotic cyber encounters. Everyone is here for different reasons and acts based on their own needs. I assume men just seem more likely to have cyber encounters when there's none to have in real life or they've got an erection. When in Rome, right? In this respect, it makes sense that more women would imagine a LIT partner during a real life encounter.

Would someone imagine a real life partner during a cyber encounter? I'm sure it's happened. I'm also sure that discussion of real life encounters is probably the leading cause of cyber encounters.

There's my two cents for the day.

I just keep coming back to this statement. For me, it seems exclusionary. It's not even part of the question or the answer, but for me visuals are so much a part of sex.

 

[BrokenRomantic]

I just keep coming back to this statement. For me, it seems exclusionary. It's not even part of the question or the answer, but for me visuals are so much a part of sex.

Ah I do apologize. I probably should have clarified that better and didn't mean to be exclusionary. I was merely touching on a bit of the research that's been done on how each gender processes visual sexual stimuli differently and how it might explain some of the differences in reproductive behavior. I wasn't saying that women aren't stimulated by visuals. I was just being a bit ambiguous, now that I read it again. Once again, I do apologize, and please don't take too much offense, as I meant none.

 

[Aquagal]

Ah I do apologize. I probably should have clarified that better and didn't mean to be exclusionary. I was merely touching on a bit of the research that's been done on how each gender processes visual sexual stimuli differently and how it might explain some of the differences in reproductive behavior. I wasn't saying that women aren't stimulated by visuals. I was just being a bit ambiguous, now that I read it again. Once again, I do apologize, and please don't take too much offense, as I meant none.

Actually no offense at all taken. I simply just categorize it for myself as another reason why I'm a pervert. Unorthodox. I don't know why seeing specific things happening is arousing, but it is. And not even only porn, which is appreciated also, and probably the very reason I had to take my laptop in and get it cleaned of viruses. I'm talking right in front of me visuals, specific for me.

 

[BrokenRomantic]

Actually no offense at all taken. I simply just categorize it for myself as another reason why I'm a pervert. Unorthodox. I don't know why seeing specific things happening is arousing, but it is. And not even only porn, which is appreciated also, and probably the very reason I had to take my laptop in and get it cleaned of viruses. I'm talking right in front of me visuals, specific for me.

Being a pervert is okay.

What I was suggesting, as far as visuals go, was that while a right brained man is having sex with a woman, his brain might not so easily be able to imagine or visualize another woman because of the woman right in front of him. You have to figure his brain is already sending most of his blood elsewhere anyway, and isn't in the best shape to make complex scientific discoveries. This other woman he might try to imagine can be from LIT or not. I don't suppose it matters. Chemically, it could just be difficult for a male to do, so it probably doesn't happen as often as it would for a female.

Now a left brained female might find it easier to imagine another lover simply due to brain chemistry. It might not be visualizing or imagining the body of another, but maybe someone else's actions or words, or voice, or whatever. Some of the other posters have already said as much.

Anyway, these are some more generalizations and don't apply to everyone. No two brain chemistries are the same. No science is exact. Am I up to 6 cents for the day, now?

 

[ChainedUp]

Speaking as one man, imaging another woman while fucking another is pretty easily achieved. Am I constantly thinking about another when it happens, no. But there are plenty of opportunities to think of one while doing another

Being a pervert is okay.

What I was suggesting, as far as visuals go, was that while a right brained man is having sex with a woman, his brain might not so easily be able to imagine or visualize another woman because of the woman right in front of him. You have to figure his brain is already sending most of his blood elsewhere anyway, and isn't in the best shape to make complex scientific discoveries. This other woman he might try to imagine can be from LIT or not. I don't suppose it matters. Chemically, it could just be difficult for a male to do, so it probably doesn't happen as often as it would for a female.

Now a left brained female might find it easier to imagine another lover simply due to brain chemistry. It might not be visualizing or imagining the body of another, but maybe someone else's actions or words, or voice, or whatever. Some of the other posters have already said as much.

Anyway, these are some more generalizations and don't apply to everyone. No two brain chemistries are the same. No science is exact. Am I up to 6 cents for the day, now?

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I"m lucky I can think of my own name in the heat of the moment.. much less somebody else.

 

[BrokenRomantic]

Speaking as one man, imaging another woman while fucking another is pretty easily achieved. Am I constantly thinking about another when it happens, no. But there are plenty of opportunities to think of one while doing another

Hahahaha! That's horrible, but it made me laugh. I'm the other way. I can't even begin to think of another woman. When it's time for dessert, all I want is exactly what's on the plate.

 

[Endless_Night]

< Oh, and fantasizing about a RL partner during online play? I think my feelings would be hurt - I mean, I'm supposed to be the fantasy! >

Hard to argue with this^!

Speaking as one man, imaging another woman while fucking another is pretty easily achieved. Am I constantly thinking about another when it happens, no. But there are plenty of opportunities to think of one while doing another

This sort of sounds like you're either not giving the act your full attention or, just possibly, you're a great multi-tasker!

Hopefully it's the latter!

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

Hard to argue with this^!



This sort of sounds like you're either not giving the act your full attention or, just possibly, you're a great multi-tasker!

Hopefully it's the latter!

there's a third option in there....

I personally don't think it's fair to be imagining someone else while you're in the act. If you can't be in the moment with the person you're actually in the moment with, you have no business being with that person.(let me emphasize, to each their own, but for me I would be offended you're having sex with me, but thinking of someone else)


I can, however, get on board more with the idea of situational fantasy. For example, you're imagining your partner ravishing you in the back of the restaurant...... When in reality your getting banged in your guest bathroom...

However, the person the same.. The fantasy is shared between the partners. The bonds between you solidify.. Yada, yada, yada..

Now, interestingly enough, I don't fantasize about any one person when I'm alone, either. Again, just something I decided not to do. I get in, get done, I go to sleep. If I'm masturbating, its purely a physical release for me. I don't see the need to drag another into my revelry.

This might change when I am partnered again, but for now the idea seems ludicrous in that I see no reason to create an intimate bond with an imaginary or virtual partner..

 

[SweetSam42]

I am going to add this: I have been married a long time. I have never cheated on my husband, have slept with only him since 1997. I think that fantasizing about another person (be it a celebrity, a porn star, or someone else) during sex is quite common, perhaps more so among us folks longer married than with others.

I certainly don't do it often, and if I did, it would be a problem I'd address. I don't expect my husband to only want to have sex with me either, and fantasy allows for variety while still staying within the bounds of monogamy.

Now, this is not information I'd want him to share with me, and it's not information I need to share with him, ie, I don't want to know when he does it.

 

[ChainedUp]

I think for many couples it's like masturbation. Each knows the other does it, they just don't want to hear about it.

 

[SweetSam42]

That ^^. Yep.

 

[pfflyerhot]

But...

RA... I don't have a guest bathroom.

 

[iamincognito45]

RA... I don't have a guest bathroom.

Then it will just have be on the island in your kitchen...

 

[rubydlite]

Slips into a quiet Sunday morning. Hoping that you all were able to get the orgasm you wanted yesterday

I'm curious, and you certainly don't have to incriminate yourself, but I wonder what percentage of the people here think about other Litsters while having sex with a RL partner? My hunch is at least 50%.

I think for many couples it's like masturbation. Each knows the other does it, they just don't want to hear about it [QUOTE/]

in my current situation...if i were having sex I'd most certainly be fantasizing about a litster.
If I were starting fresh I'd like to think I'd stay focused on the person I was with.

masturbation...in the right situation I'd want to know....and watch!

 

[Pervy_Sage]

Maybe I'm just strange and not pervy enough, despite my name, but I've never been able to imagine someone else while I'm with someone in RL. I just find it impossible to pull my focus away for even a few seconds. I'd rather just give the person I'm with the time of her life.

 

[Endless_Night]

RA, what happened to your AV and all your sexy pics?

 

[makinmepurr]

in my current situation...if i were having sex I'd most certainly be fantasizing about a litster.
If I were starting fresh I'd like to think I'd stay focused on the person I was with.

masturbation...in the right situation I'd want to know....and watch!

You bring up an interesting angle, Ruby. I think the state of one' s relationship can have a lot to do with this. In the last years of my already broken marriage, on the rare occasions when we actually had sex, I fantasized about others. It was almost necessary, sad to say. I certainly wish that hadn't been the case.

But, I can say I had never done that before. Like others have said, I otherwise am totally into my partner, with no desire or need to imagine another.

 

[ChainedUp]

Good morning all. Weekenders have gone back to the weekday routines, weekdayers are just waking up and looking forward to see what they missed over the weekend. I'll start the week with this:

When you've met someone here and feel that special chemistry, it's natural for the desire to blossom, and often times you find yourself wanting to be with that person to experience in RL what you feel online. My question is this, does the feeling of want/need/desire of online surpass that same feeling in RL. In RL the sexual matching that happens online doesn't always exist, early on. After having been with someone in RL, that need to be with them again is stronger but can someone definitely a greater sense of want, at least initially via online?

 

[Wolfias]

I can't always take the nice road my mischievous sayings are misconstrued as being an ass.

 

[dutchrain]

I am going to add this: I have been married a long time. I have never cheated on my husband, have slept with only him since 1997. I think that fantasizing about another person (be it a celebrity, a porn star, or someone else) during sex is quite common, perhaps more so among us folks longer married than with others.

I certainly don't do it often, and if I did, it would be a problem I'd address. I don't expect my husband to only want to have sex with me either, and fantasy allows for variety while still staying within the bounds of monogamy.

Now, this is not information I'd want him to share with me, and it's not information I need to share with him, ie, I don't want to know when he does it.

Exactly. Some roleplaying once in a while would be nice though, if both are comfortable to slip into a slightly different version of themselves.

I think for many couples it's like masturbation. Each knows the other does it, they just don't want to hear about it.

Not always, sometimes it can be a nice shared experience. And sometimes, if I heard or saw my husband I interrupted him, as he did sometimes when he caught me at it, and then things developed differently than originally planned.

Good morning all. Weekenders have gone back to the weekday routines, weekdayers are just waking up and looking forward to see what they missed over the weekend. I'll start the week with this:

When you've met someone here and feel that special chemistry, it's natural for the desire to blossom, and often times you find yourself wanting to be with that person to experience in RL what you feel online. My question is this, does the feeling of want/need/desire of online surpass that same feeling in RL. In RL the sexual matching that happens online doesn't always exist, early on. After having been with someone in RL, that need to be with them again is stronger but can someone definitely a greater sense of want, at least initially via online?

It all depends on the connection I feel. I have had as much butterflies in my stomach over online as over RL people.

I don't think I have felt a greater sense of want over online people than over RL people. Infatuation is infatuation, wherever it happens.

I can't always take the nice road my mischievous sayings are misconstrued as being an ass.

A well known problem for most of us who sometimes feel a bit ironic or snarky, or witty.

 

[All_4_Love]

Hahahaha! That's horrible, but it made me laugh. I'm the other way. I can't even begin to think of another woman. When it's time for dessert, all I want is exactly what's on the plate.

Lucky dessert! You are definitely a romantic, that's for sure.

I am going to add this: I have been married a long time. I have never cheated on my husband, have slept with only him since 1997. I think that fantasizing about another person (be it a celebrity, a porn star, or someone else) during sex is quite common, perhaps more so among us folks longer married than with others.

I certainly don't do it often, and if I did, it would be a problem I'd address. I don't expect my husband to only want to have sex with me either, and fantasy allows for variety while still staying within the bounds of monogamy.

Now, this is not information I'd want him to share with me, and it's not information I need to share with him, ie, I don't want to know when he does it.

Agreed. It's probably best that everyone just stick with their dessert. And, if one should find themselves wishing for cherries to go with the whipped cream, well, then it's a good thing it's just a wish and not reality. It doesn't hurt to keep some things private.

masturbation...in the right situation I'd want to know....and watch!

I was scrolling down the page with baited breath waiting to see this answer! I knew it would be here. I couldn't agree more.