Litiquette VII

[Endless_Night]

My work here is done.

Oh, no! We're waiting to hear how hot that made the OP.

Trekka?

 

[QuietCanadian]

Oh, no! We're waiting to hear how hot that made the OP.

Trekka?

lol... I do like your style.

 

[Trekka]

Cleaning up the confetti
About a half inch of glitter covering the floor
Balloons everywhere
Ribbons, mardigras beads, so much cake
Garlands
Rainbow sprinkles
And
Sex toys

... I’ve had quite a week, no thanks to SMNaughty

So a question... hmm... BIRTHDAYS. Let’s go there.

I turned forty last week. It was a big deal. And no parties were had, per se, but we definitely *cough* partied. But usually my birthdays are pretty quiet. This one was a delicious anomaly.

Throw in an engagement ring*, and you’re lookin at one happy little birthday tart.

So are you big on birthdays? Yours? Others? Good at planning them? Suck at gifts? (You gift wrapping dynamos disgust me btw!) Are you one of those “it’s my birthday month!” peeps?
Ever been surprised? Done the surprising? How’d it go over?
Or could you care less?

What would your absolutely A+ primo immaculate best-ever birthday look like?

Bonus points if you’ve got good surprise party stories!

*I know, right?!

 

[QuietCanadian]

So are you big on birthdays? Yours? Others? Good at planning them? Suck at gifts? (You gift wrapping dynamos disgust me btw!) Are you one of those “it’s my birthday month!” peeps?
Ever been surprised? Done the surprising? How’d it go over?
Or could you care less?

What would your absolutely A+ primo immaculate best-ever birthday look like?

Bonus points if you’ve got good surprise party stories!

I'm definitely not an "it's my birthday month" peep, that's a lot of attention that I don't want... but I do think it's important to celebrate the small stuff because we don't do enough of it in this life. So sign me up for a nice dinner at the birthday person's favourite restaurant, or some drinks with friends. That's ideal for me, hang with some friends, maybe at a craft brewery. I do not need pomp and circumstance (though I think I would be OK SMN's pomp and circumstance. Just a guess. )

I give pretty decent gifts, I think. I like to put thought into them, maybe even "create" something (using that loosely, I'm not creative, but maybe personalize something a bit), and make it halfway meaningful. I can't wrap worth a shit though. Gift bag and tissue paper all day.

I've been surprised once. A few years ago and it was a gong show for me. I was at home hanging in sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt and a bunch of friends came over and surprised me. I was not super excited about it given the state of dress, but it was fun and it's humbling to have people who seem to like you enough to do such a thing. But like, it was 8 PM, that's freaking late, right?

*I'm still so fucking excited for you, you're engaged!!!!!!

 

[Trekka]

I'm definitely not an "it's my birthday month" peep, that's a lot of attention that I don't want... but I do think it's important to celebrate the small stuff because we don't do enough of it in this life. So sign me up for a nice dinner at the birthday person's favourite restaurant, or some drinks with friends. That's ideal for me, hang with some friends, maybe at a craft brewery. I do not need pomp and circumstance (though I think I would be OK SMN's pomp and circumstance. Just a guess. )

<snip>

*I'm still so fucking excited for you, you're engaged!!!!!!

She gives the best pomp.
And circumstance.
True story.


And thank you!! I’m excited too!
Maybe we live stream it and post the link here

 

[SassySheDevil]

Cleaning up the confetti
About a half inch of glitter covering the floor
Balloons everywhere
Ribbons, mardigras beads, so much cake
Garlands
Rainbow sprinkles
And
Sex toys

... I’ve had quite a week, no thanks to SMNaughty

So a question... hmm... BIRTHDAYS. Let’s go there.

I turned forty last week. It was a big deal. And no parties were had, per se, but we definitely *cough* partied. But usually my birthdays are pretty quiet. This one was a delicious anomaly.

Throw in an engagement ring*, and you’re lookin at one happy little birthday tart.

So are you big on birthdays? Yours? Others? Good at planning them? Suck at gifts? (You gift wrapping dynamos disgust me btw!) Are you one of those “it’s my birthday month!” peeps?
Ever been surprised? Done the surprising? How’d it go over?
Or could you care less?

What would your absolutely A+ primo immaculate best-ever birthday look like?

Bonus points if you’ve got good surprise party stories!

*I know, right?!

Best birthday.. Taking my daughter to a Magic Mike show and both of us ending up on stage..Slightly awkward too though.

I hate surprises though. My husband just threw one for my family to come cheer me up. Figured after my diagnoses. I could use a smile, and I love him for it. But my first thought was "OMG I didn't clean today!"
I'm more shy in crowds also. So aside from this one, being family. I'm not big on large crowds that might involve people I don't know well.
I don't really care about celebrating birthdays anymore. Dinner with the family and I am happy.

I like planning them for others though. My husband is always fun at get togethers. So everyone likes his Birthdays.

 

[hotwords229_A]

First off, Congrats to Mr. Trekka for whipping out a ring and snagging himself a Keeper <—I’m known for my romantic phrasing.

Birthdays? I like other people’s birthdays. Birthday cake is one of my favorite cakes. I don’t have strong feelings about my birthday one way or the other. Most times I don’t even know how old I am (I usually have to think how old my sister is and then subtract a few years). But, whatever reason for a party is okay by me, but I prefer small and intimate as opposed to fireworks and massive crowds—unless it’s someone else’s party, then let’s destroy a whole town! I’m cool with that.

I don’t like giving gifts because I always think I give stupid gifts, I prefer to tell people that my presence is their present.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

I love birthdays and a big fan. Huge fan.
Mine. My families. Trekka’s.

I think they should absolutely be celebrated. We’re all gonna get old, some embrace it and others have a mini mental down over a number.
I certainly don’t feel my age and nor look it either.
Planned some awesome surprises. Had some nice birthdays myself. I’ve never had a surprise birthday party.

My ultimate birthday extravaganza would include a fog machine, black lights, glitter, music, finger food to its finest, drinks, black and white dress attire that meets 7 deadly sins and cake. It would be a pretty okay day I think.

There was some confetti in my suitcase mixed in with the black lace. Made me smile.

 

[Trekka]

First off, Congrats to Mr. Trekka for whipping out a ring and snagging himself a Keeper <—I’m known for my romantic phrasing.

<snips>

I don’t like giving gifts because I always think I give stupid gifts, I prefer to tell people that my presence is their present.

Aww, thanks HW. You’re too kind!
And
You kinda sound like Kanye

I love birthdays and a big fan. Huge fan.
Mine. My families. Trekka’s.

I think they should absolutely be celebrated. We’re all gonna get old, some embrace it and others have a mini mental down over a number.
I certainly don’t feel my age and nor look it either.
Planned some awesome surprises. Had some nice birthdays myself. I’ve never had a surprise birthday party.

My ultimate birthday extravaganza would include a fog machine, black lights, glitter, music, finger food to its finest, drinks, black and white dress attire that meets 7 deadly sins and cake. It would be a pretty okay day I think.

There was some confetti in my suitcase mixed in with the black lace. Made me smile.

Who you sayin had a meltdown?! Not me!!

Alright, taking notes. Looks like we are raving in formal wear at the first post-covid Coachella for your next bday. Or is that just a trick to keep you off the scent of the trail? Hmm?! Maybe I’ll surprise your sassy ass next year. Show up in your hood with some scuba gear and a hot divemaster n watch you pee yourself just a little. Because I love you.

There’s a small piece of blue confetti stuck under the diamond in my ring! Between the stone and the prong! Also the bathroom floor. It seems to keep coming back!

 

[tnman03]

Birthday's are a topic? Wow!! Who knew? lol... FWIW I grew up in a household where we didn't have birthday parties. It was family only. So yeah, it's pretty cool to see people getting into them and having fun with it all.

I give nice gifts when appropriate on birthdays but generally, just use a gift bag or such.

And as for whenever the upcoming nuptials come to pass you should really consider doing an underwater wedding.

 

[Endless_Night]

< Throw in an engagement ring*, and you’re lookin at one happy little birthday tart. >

WHAT?! You and the American Hero are engaged?!?!?

That is…the BEST news I've heard in AGES!

I. Am. So. Happy. For. You. (And the Hero, of course.)

 

[SMNaughtywife]

Happy Monday everyone. I have a two part question - today and tomorrow.

How much information in your RL to you share with no one, where its never put to paper or voice, only thoughts in your head?
Is there ever a point where you say “screw it, I gotta say/tell someone?”
And why or how do you decide to keep what you keep inside stashed away safe?

 

[QuietCanadian]

Happy Monday everyone. I have a two part question - today and tomorrow.

How much information in your RL to you share with no one, where its never put to paper or voice, only thoughts in your head?
Is there ever a point where you say “screw it, I gotta say/tell someone?”
And why or how do you decide to keep what you keep inside stashed away safe?

Happy Monday.

There are not many things that I won't eventually tell someone that is close to me and I know I can trust, but I think that most of us do have those "I'm just gonna keep that to myself" things. Sometimes silly, sometimes deep. I don't think I have a process on deciding, or a why. Sometimes it's really silly stuff, so who would care anyway?

On here, a bit more I would not mention. I think that can be pretty normal, but there are a couple of friends I've made who not only do I share my full self, but I'd also say fit the "well, I gotta tell someone" bill. They probably wish that last part wasn't the case .

 

[hotwords229_A]

My mind wanders A LOT. I pretty much allow myself to think whatever unusual thoughts pass through. I think it’s best to keep my strangeness front and center where I can keep an eye on me (don’t want the dark stuff hiding in the background).

I don’t usually share these thoughts because it will just add to the strange looks and having to explain myself when I’m not even sure why I would think such things.

They do come out when having a deep conversation with someone I like, though. That’s when I really get to share the weird stuff. Or, you know, to total strangers on Lit. Either way.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

.....

As for my privacy, I’m a very private person. I have secrets that no one, not even my closest friends, know about me. I don’t really have reasons for some of my secrets. I guess I’m careful what I share. It’s not like I’d be embarrassed if some of my secrets came out. I just value my privacy and keeping things to myself. People who over share make me uncomfortable.

For example, I can think of only one person IRL who knows I’m on Lit, and I haven’t talked to her in years after we split up. We were lovers and shared Lit, though she never really got into it. I’ve been on here for, what, well over a decade, and I’ve never shared this with any of my closest friends IRL except for her.

^^^^
Oh I can relate sooooo very much on that over sharing feeling and being uncomfortable around those types of people.
And truth be told, it makes me leery sharing with them being as they are so free with their privacy, how much will they value mine. People (can) talk behind others back, thats a fact. I’m private as fuck, with mine and others info that I’ve been trusted with. Have been since day one. That’s never gonna change.

My mind and brainstorming of ideas can look like downtown NYC at 5pm. If it’s design/art related and I’m on a roll - I might share snippets. But sometimes I don’t even share that until (or if) an idea is fully fleshed out.

Other parts of my life- challenges, successes, goals, daily life I’ll usually share the majority of it if with my husband or people close in my life.

There’s a small part of me I won’t share with anyone. It’s not necessarily all full of deep dark secrets, more of Plan B-Ds, what exactly is this thingamajig, the high road is the only road and a reminder that drinking too many Irish Car bombs will make you hurt for days.

 

[SMNaughtywife]

The second part of my question deals with vulnerability. Putting yourself out there for the world to see.

I love this Ted Talk and have watched it lots of times over the years.

What is your relationship like with vulnerability? How often do you let your guard down to really been seen, to share feelings and ideas freely? Does it scare you to death to be yourself in your entirety or you a cool cat with it all?

 

[SassySheDevil]

Happy Monday everyone. I have a two part question - today and tomorrow.

How much information in your RL to you share with no one, where its never put to paper or voice, only thoughts in your head?
Is there ever a point where you say “screw it, I gotta say/tell someone?”
And why or how do you decide to keep what you keep inside stashed away safe?

The second part of my question deals with vulnerability. Putting yourself out there for the world to see.

I love this Ted Talk and have watched it lots of times over the years.

What is your relationship like with vulnerability? How often do you let your guard down to really been seen, to share feelings and ideas freely? Does it scare you to death to be yourself in your entirety or you a cool cat with it all?

This has changed for me in the last year and a half. I used to be pretty open with anyone who wanted to know something. All they had to do was ask.
I had that though. The people you couldn't wait to share something with.

I realized after learning about the Cancer that on here. I didn't have those people any longer. But that was my own fault. I've spent all my time pushing people away and closing myself off. It hurt less then to lose the friendships.

In real life. I have a few really good friends that I called. Or do call now. But mostly, I've gotten so used to being alone. I didn't.

I was always willing to show vulnerabilities before because they felt safe. Now, they don't, and I don't like to be vulnerable. I don't trust that people are going to be kind with my heart, and not stomp on it later.
So now there are a couple that I talk to, but mostly, I've just become too good at pushing people away. It has taken a lot of work though. So sometimes, that diarrhea of the mouth. Comes out before I can stop it. Give me an ounce of comfort and vulnerabilities throw up.

 

[QuietCanadian]

The second part of my question deals with vulnerability. Putting yourself out there for the world to see.

I love this Ted Talk and have watched it lots of times over the years.

What is your relationship like with vulnerability? How often do you let your guard down to really been seen, to share feelings and ideas freely? Does it scare you to death to be yourself in your entirety or you a cool cat with it all?

I'm a big fan of that Ted Talk. My relationship with vulnerability is an ongoing back and forth. I believe all the things she says, but sticking the path is not always easy. I've tried a lot more in the recent past, to really lean into it and Brene isn't wrong, you will get your ass kicked. But I do feel like it makes the joys better too. Even the simple ones. I'm all in on the Roosevelt quote as well, one my favourites, even if I'm face down in the dirt, I'm not sitting up in the cheap seats.

The last question mostly it scares me to death. And that's OK, there's people it doesn't scare me with, so that's not so bad.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The second part of my question deals with vulnerability. Putting yourself out there for the world to see.

I love this Ted Talk and have watched it lots of times over the years.

What is your relationship like with vulnerability? How often do you let your guard down to really been seen, to share feelings and ideas freely? Does it scare you to death to be yourself in your entirety or you a cool cat with it all?

I’m quite choosy about who I let in. But when I let them in, they get to see my stuff. Sometimes that’s hard and I’ve gotten better over time. I used to try to be perfect. But I’m more comfortable with my flaws. Excuse me. Flaw.

 

[alwaysaway]

But when I let them in, they get to see my stuff.

Dick pics.

Sometimes that’s hard and I’ve gotten better over time.

You’ll get there. Keep practicing.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Dick pics.

You’ll get there. Keep practicing.

I was worried we were just going to let this slide.

 

[alwaysaway]

I was worried we were just going to let this slide.

I got your back!

Edit: Also, that’s what she said.

 

[QuietCanadian]

I got your back!

Edit: Also, that’s what she said.

You get me.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’m struggling with the idea of being vulnerable. I know what it means, but I’m not sure what it means for me. I think I do put myself out there, even though I’m totally guarded, but then suddenly I’ll blurt out something ridiculous and embarrassing and not care what people think.

Obviously I don’t like feeling vulnerable, but I also don’t feel that way very often (ever?). Maybe when I share something deep and personal it’s my decision to do so which means I’m still in charge of what gets leaked. So am I really vulnerable?

Being naked in the desert surrounded by King Cobras is being vulnerable, but is sharing some personal info with another person the same thing?

I’m not sure.

 

[TheOriginalSA]

The second part of my question deals with vulnerability. Putting yourself out there for the world to see.

I love this Ted Talk and have watched it lots of times over the years.

What is your relationship like with vulnerability? How often do you let your guard down to really been seen, to share feelings and ideas freely? Does it scare you to death to be yourself in your entirety or you a cool cat with it all?

I saw the TED video, I think there's some truth to it, but I think it's deeper than that. Once you know you're enough, the most important component to me is, being in a comfortable environment and feeling safe.
Example: I've seen many people feeling they can't be themselves in their neighborhoods, but feels free and comfortable to speak about anything on LIT.

As far as vulnerability for me, it's simple, if I'm comfortable and trust you, then I'll show my vulnerabilities. It takes some time for me to be comfortable and trust you, but it varies with each person. Sometimes you just connect with someone quickly, it takes time with others and some you just don't ever feel comfortable with.