Litiquette VI

[Lord Pmann]

As you may have garnered from my response yesterday, my dad is probably my greatest single influence. He was my dad, my boss, my hunting buddy, and my best friend at once...and he died right after I turned 27.

Did I have other influences? Sure; but none on that level.

I inherited an Irish temper from my mother, but it's conditioned by a degree of patience to which I credit my dad.

Excluding him..probably my greatest role model would be my sister ( one of 4), who' without apology, came out as lesbian in Podunkville in the late 70's. Today, all my sisters know of my anomalies, but I credit her with the courage it took to share that.

She and I are almost twins, 15 years removed from a philosophical view.

I am going to have a hard time when my father passes away. He’s healthy and only 67, so hopefully it’s no time soon. But your description of your father just got me thinking... sorry to all those who have lost loved ones so young.

 

[Lord Pmann]

A lot of us mentioned family members as influences yesterday. Family has a huge influence on our lives. On who we are. How we act. How we react. How we talk. How we feel. How we look.

Some of these things we like. Some of them we hate. We spend years swearing to ourselves we will never do those things or be that person, often to find we are doing that which we don’t want to do. We all think of the way we look or our physical traits are things we can’t change. These are inherited from our parents, undoubtedly. But what about our emotions? Can we change those? To what extent?

What have you taken from your family that you love? What about the things you hate? How much of it is something that you just can’t change?

Song of the day:

In the Blood by John Mayer- https://youtu.be/7ILUiMIWc24

 

[numeniusa]

A lot of us mentioned family members as influences yesterday. Family has a huge influence on our lives. On who we are. How we act. How we react. How we talk. How we feel. How we look.

Some of these things we like. Some of them we hate. We spend years swearing to ourselves we will never do those things or be that person, often to find we are doing that which we don’t want to do. We all think of the way we look or our physical traits are things we can’t change. These are inherited from our parents, undoubtedly. But what about our emotions? Can we change those? To what extent?

What have you taken from your family that you love? What about the things you hate? How much of it is something that you just can’t change?

Song of the day:

In the Blood by John Mayer- https://youtu.be/7ILUiMIWc24

Great to see this thread up and about again...

I've inherited my father's analytical brain, not sure if that counts as an emotion as such, maybe more of a way of experiencing the world. I love that - it gave me a wonderfully enjoyable and interesting (to me) career.

Unfortunately I rather fear I have also inherited his thoughtlessness. It's something I'm aware of, and I try not to be thoughtless, but ... it happens...

 

[hotwords229_A]

I think I am a 50/50 split of my parents. They are complete opposites. How those two ever went out on a date I have no idea, much less get married and make a family. I guess they share core values, but otherwise not much else. I seem to have inherited both of their most extreme elements. The passion with the apathy. The temper with the calmness. The positivity with the negativity—you name it.

I think this has been a benefit to me because I can almost always see both sides of most things. But it is also a detriment because I don’t always know which trait is going to come out. I’ve had to work on accepting the negative thoughts and outlook, letting it happen, but then focusing on the positive part of it too. Controlling the bad and allowing the good.

A sense of humor helps. And both my parents are good at finding the humor in life. Even the bad parts.

I think I’m generally in good shape as far as who I am. I have inherited the kindness and warmth of my mom, but if you need someone to wipe out a horde of zombies with a ball-peen hammer and then act like all we did was take the garbage out, then me and my dad have got your back.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I think I am a 50/50 split of my parents. They are complete opposites. How those two ever went out on a date I have no idea, much less get married and make a family. I guess they share core values, but otherwise not much else. I seem to have inherited both of their most extreme elements. The passion with the apathy. The temper with the calmness. The positivity with the negativity—you name it.

I think this has been a benefit to me because I can almost always see both sides of most things. But it is also a detriment because I don’t always know which trait is going to come out. I’ve had to work on accepting the negative thoughts and outlook, letting it happen, but then focusing on the positive part of it too. Controlling the bad and allowing the good.

A sense of humor helps. And both my parents are good at finding the humor in life. Even the bad parts.

I think I’m generally in good shape as far as who I am. I have inherited the kindness and warmth of my mom, but if you need someone to wipe out a horde of zombies with a ball-peen hammer and then act like all we did was take the garbage out, then me and my dad have got your back.

This made me smile.
I think you have great perspective and have learned to manage both sides in the best way possible.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I got the height. I adore it.

I also got my father's sense of humor, which is unfortunate but also very powerful. I am irreverent, silly with the ability to still care deeply about people. I love that quality in myself.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I'll bite.

Like HotWords, I display a good deal from both my parents, and some of my sisters; since the youngest was 15 when I hatched.

My dad was very quiet, but always thinking. He spoke little, but said a lot with carefully chosen words. I'm very much him in that regard...I'm actually exceedingly tight lipped in person, to the point it makes people uncomfortable. Folks often think I'm mad when I'm not...A resting bitch face thing. He was miserly, but valued quality; teaching me early 'tis less expensive to buy quality once than junk repeatedly. Of course, that put him at odds with my mother, who wasn't so impressed with finery.
My folks were Depression era babies; born in '35 and '36; both very poor. Indentured servitude would be a whitewash way to describe my mother's childhood. My mother inherited a temper (to put it nicely) from her Irish father which was the stuff of made for tv movies. My sister insists we have adrenal imbalances. Her patience was short, anger came quick, and forgiveness wasn't a thing. She valued work ethic over all other things.
My dad worked hard, but wanted to relax a little, too.

So, I'm an amalgamation. I realize that I possess that potential for anger, but I have a much longer fuse. I work hard, but I'm all about working smarter...spend money to make money, if need be. My dad never got to retire. He'd just turned 67, seemed in good health. He and I worked together the day before he died.

Hence, I live with the very real understanding that there is no guarantee of the "golden years". There is no sadder story than they who put off living til later; only to die the day before "later" comes. So, I guess I really credit more of who I am and what I value to my old man,

Got Mama's legs and butt, though.

 

[Suz_anne]

My mom is very smart, methodical and logical. She's level-headed, weighs her thoughts and words carefully before expressing herself and can be relied upon in any situation. She's not terribly sentimental and struggled with showing affection while we were growing up. She is the foundation upon which I am built and I'd feel incomplete without her in my world.

My dad is all emotion. He's reactive, volatile, selfish and narcissistic. He can't commit to anything in advance - even if it is something as simple as saying "Yes, I'll meet you for dinner next Tuesday at 7pm." He has to leave it open ended until the last minute. He's an alcoholic (although he's now sober) and loves to coddled. But he has a pretty good sense of humor.

What I get from them - I have some of my mom's logic (although I don't love statistics like she does), her smarts and I sometimes struggle with a lack of empathy. But I am purposefully more affectionate than she is. I am somewhat reactive like my dad. I am pretty even tempered, but when triggered I can be very reactive and lash out. I sometimes struggle with committing to things, but not to the extreme of my dad. And I do think I got my sense of humor from him.

Like Hotwords, I don't understand how my parents ever decided to get together. They were young when they married and divorced after less than 10 years. Which was definitely for the best.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Attraction... It's insanely random. It's intense. It's unexpected.

Sometimes we go about our merry way, not expecting to find someone or see them. Sometimes you have you blinders on and someone can just catch your eye and you melt. It often comes out of nowhere. And that's what's beautiful about it.

What is a memorable attraction you've had? Someone who just captured you. What was it about me that just caught your eye? What is it in general that just makes you weak in the knees?

Let's hear those stories.


Damien Rice- The Blower's Daughter
https://youtu.be/5YXVMCHG-Nk

 

[hotwords229_A]

I once worked in a place with some incredibly hot and horny people. Some of the sexiest women I’ve ever known. Penis overload!

One day, this girl came over and started flirting with me. We had known each other for awhile, but it was just normal co-worker stuff. I never paid much attention to her, but once I realized she was flirting with me I suddenly realized how attractive she really was. She was way out of my league, which I think is why I didn’t lust after her (I also had it pretty bad for a different girl who wanted nothing to do with me).

We ended up having a pretty steamy good time. But it’s interesting to me how someone can become more attractive to me when I realize they are into me. That sounds kind of dickish, but there is something to that.

Real life attraction is totally different than what I’m attracted to visually. There are any number of relationships that I’ve had where the girl didn’t jump out at me right away, but became hot as I got to know her.

Weird how that works.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I should also add that I wish I had realized this when I was a younger, awkward and horny Hotwords. If I had realized that being myself and being interesting was enough to attract the right girl, I could have had a better teenage experience.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Untouchable Face ---> https://youtu.be/M6JnQbQbzdo

That's a much sweeter song than my Unfuckable Face I wrote a while back.

 

[Trekka]

It all started with some song lyrics and a comment about the inferiority of oatmeal raisin cookies...

 

[tnman03]

It all started with some song lyrics and a comment about the inferiority of oatmeal raisin cookies...

Someone showed up in boots at a fancy dress party did they and got some pseudo- county singer to tell about it??? Must have been something in those cookies for sure.

 

[Suz_anne]

That hot af electrician who worked on the remodel of my house a few years ago. I've talked about him before... several times.

I have never been that instantly or intensely attracted to someone in my life. And since that attraction was never pursued, it probably only makes that forbidden fruit sweeter in my head.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I'm a sucker for pheromones when I'm riding the ovulation wave. Last month I could tell i was ovulating because there was this guy at Costco who was buying fruit trees (I swear I'm not as into apples as it may seem by the sheer amount I've talked about them this weekend). He and I were talking about different species and I wanted to just strip him right there and have my way with him. It was so carnal and really caught me off guard. I wonder if he knew...

Otherwise, it's intelligence, wit and a dash of good looks. If i can flirt with someone and still want to talk to them the next day, it's on. I play a longer game in these attractions, but make great friendships that have an undercurrent of innuendo.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I seriously have to consciously think about not being weird around my hairdresser. She's plenty hot and just has the right kind of charm to intrigue me.

I mean, I assume we're not talking about porn and the like...cuz if so, then the first time I saw Kimber James possibly ruined me henceforth.

And then there's Corbal. Could say the same for her!

 

[Sh75]

For me i can't really define what causes that melt, it could be one thing or a combination of things. Yes there's the obvious things like physical attraction, an attraction to a personality or a mutual outlook on things but then there is that thing that is just impossible to describe. And that is the thing, that caught me. I definitely wasn't looking for love but i think fate intervened and i certainky found it. Yes the physical attraction is undeniable, the smile or look in her eyes melts me everytime, the fun and laughter we share, the commonality of beliefs and what's important to each other, the comfort amd ease which lends itself to feeling like I've known her all my life and she was the one who i should've known all my life. Maybe it's the combination of all those tangible explainable things that creates that unexplainable bond, that yearning to be together, that ache when you're apart, whatever it is, i found it without looking and i can't think of a time or a reason that will make me want to let it go.

 

[Lord Pmann]

For me... a girl with a kind smile, inviting eyes, that girl next door look... that will get me. Every. Time. If she can make me laugh... careful, because my dick will shoot to the moon.

A combination of class, humour, boobs and a smile that says a thousand words without saying a thing- that will melt me to my core.

 

[Trekka]

I’m wondering if there’s a difference between online attraction and RL attraction?

In person, I can simply smell a mate
Here, I go by words, tone, wit... vocabularrrrrry *purrs*

 

[Sh75]

I’m wondering if there’s a difference between online attraction and RL attraction?

In person, I can simply smell a mate
Here, I go by words, tone, wit... vocabularrrrrry *purrs*

I think initial attraction it's different simply because of what you described, attributes you can't see, smell, hear , feel or touch. But once that initial attraction has been established i believe it definitely then comes down to the substance of that person that keeps that attraction building.

A side note to that is also what kind of relationship you are looking for, whether it be friendship, purely sexual or something of a deeper nature.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I’m wondering if there’s a difference between online attraction and RL attraction?

In person, I can simply smell a mate
Here, I go by words, tone, wit... vocabularrrrrry *purrs*

This. So much this. I mean, I know some folks who would fetch a good price either way, but there are plenty of us who level up online and wither in person; also the inverse.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’m wondering if there’s a difference between online attraction and RL attraction?

In person, I can simply smell a mate
Here, I go by words, tone, wit... vocabularrrrrry *purrs*

If we’re talking about attraction here then it gets really tough. I think the vast majority of us probably have an idea what everyone looks like based on an AV that may or may not even be the person. Then our minds fill in the blanks for the parts we can’t see based on what attracts us. A lot of you probably think (based on my AV) that I’m really good looking when, in reality, I’m actually mesmerizing.

Seriously though, I bet very few of us look the way everyone thinks we look. We are all real people (I think) but we’re also kind of fantasy people at the same time.

Did everyone see the movie The Elephant Man? I get weepy at the ending every time. But if he were here, and used a puppy pic for an AV, he would be one of the most popular and sexy people on Lit.

There’s something to that.

 

[Suz_anne]

Seriously though, I bet very few of us look the way everyone thinks we look. We are all real people (I think) but we’re also kind of fantasy people at the same time.

Did everyone see the movie The Elephant Man? I get weepy at the ending every time. But if he were here, and used a puppy pic for an AV, he would be one of the most popular and sexy people on Lit.

There’s something to that.

Holy crap - I think I phone boned the Elephant Man.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Trekka, being the intelligent, thoughtful word wizard she is, came up with a nice topic for today.

In normal day to day interactions, looks are much more important. It's mostly what your first impression is. Before you speak. Before you reveal your personality.

At Lit, someone has typically caught your attention with their words, thoughts, ideas, sense of humour. The written word is the currency of Lit. So, by the time you finally see someone, you likely have an affinity to them. It's exactly why I'm so lovable, despite my Shrek-like appearance and my tail.

How often have you found someone attractive here that you normally wouldn't because it is Lit? How important are looks if you've already connected a bit intellectually or emotionally? I like to make sure I see them early on, so I'm not connected with an uggo. (I'm kidding! Uggos need love too) So I'll just lurk on the face thread, wait for someone to honeypot me with her face and then I will message her.

Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Lisa Hannigan
https://youtu.be/VFkfhbQsXiA

... the ones that are clever and kind, witty and funny....

Thank you.