Litiquette IV

[rubydlite]

Pumping an accordion. I could think of better uses for her hands.

I don't know...she looks creepily over enthusiastic.

 

[TheSilverLining]

Will you or will you not? I suspect that question is encountered more on Lit than any other question. Will you reply to that PM? Will you chat in IM? Will you keep the chat G-rated or will you allow it to naughty? Will you send that pic? It goes on and on.

The struggle with answering in the affirmative is that just because you answer "yes I will" is does it open the door to "I always will"? Is it appropriate to do something once and then never do it again? Is that considered being a tease?

Will I reply to that PM? Yes. Definitely. (probably)
Mostly, it depends on the content. Now that I've put the girls away, my inbox sees far less action than it used to. However, those were the ones that I'd ignore. PMs from people who actually want to talk to me will always get a reply.....eventually.

Will I chat in IM? Yeah, sure. But only because I'm not running round the place cybering like an e-bunny.
Will I send that pic? Ha. Yeah, right. I don't cyber but here's a shot of my tits. (the irony being that I've openly admitted to doing this previously)

Attraction.

Whatever floats yer boat.
I don't really give a toss about what other people find attractive. Who am I to judge what does it for another person?
I know what pushes my buttons, and it's not a good sense of humour.

Proper boob attention.

Fucking. LOVE.

 

[ChainedUp]

Manners. Please and thank-you. Opening/holding a door open for someone else. Pushing your chair in at the table. It all seems to be a lost art form at times. But is it a deal breaker. Can you be with someone that isn't always quick with the thank-yous? Can you teach an adult better manners or are they too set in their ways? What qualities in a person would allow for poor manners to be "okay"?

 

[rubydlite]

Manners. Please and thank-you. Opening/holding a door open for someone else. Pushing your chair in at the table. It all seems to be a lost art form at times. But is it a deal breaker. Can you be with someone that isn't always quick with the thank-yous? Can you teach an adult better manners or are they too set in their ways? What qualities in a person would allow for poor manners to be "okay"?

I can't stand bad manners. Please and thank you is easy. Rude takes effort. Even if someone has been a douche I say thank you with a sweet smile and sarcasm. For me it's less about the actual words though. I just don't like it when someone is not aware of their surroundings.
What...you don't see me one inch behind you at the door? Sure just grab your coat and walk away while you've blocked the path to get mine...etc.
And on the flip side....it's really really fun to say please

 

[beachbaby179]

Manners. Drilled into me by my parents (ok, mostly my mother) as a child. I could go anywhere and know which fork to use. When I grew up, I didn't think it was that important. I married a man with poor table manners and who has almost never held a door for me or taken my coat. Now we're getting divorced. It's not just about the manners, obviously, but even those little things are amplified now and annoy me 10x more. And when I'm with a man who has manners, I notice them. I appreciate the care and attention. It may indeed be a deal breaker next time.

 

[numeniusa]

For me, bad manners in the sense of a lack of courtesy for others indicates a general lack of awareness that there are other people in the world besides you, and a lack of care for anyone other than yourself. And that would be a deal breaker, for sure.

Now, I'm British, so it is ingrained in us practically from birth to apologise endlessly, say please and thank you at every opportunity and join queues even at nursery. But all the replies above me are saying the same thing, which is good to know!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Manners. Please and thank-you. Opening/holding a door open for someone else. Pushing your chair in at the table. It all seems to be a lost art form at times. But is it a deal breaker. Can you be with someone that isn't always quick with the thank-yous? Can you teach an adult better manners or are they too set in their ways? What qualities in a person would allow for poor manners to be "okay"?

Bad manners... Man. Some fuckers around here have no class. It's just crazy how people were raised. I swear some were raised by feral animals.

I've seen people use their SILVER cheese fork to scoop out caviar like some kind of common warthog. All of this happened whilst a mother of pearl caviar spoon is sitting right there. Way to fuck up the flavour with your metal fork, dumbass.

So yeah, manners are fucking important.

I hate when people don't say please and thank you. I live in the south and, while people here are often inbred, they are polite little bastards. They may have only a few teeth and a tail as a result of all that cousin fucking, but they are well mannered. I notice it when I go up North to visit my family. People won't hold the door. They'll just let it shut right behind them. The worst is NYC. My god that place is filled with the worst people on this planet. So rude. They don't look you in the eye. They will shove a gimpy child out of the way for the last seat on the subway. There are some cruel bastards there.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I appreciate that people say the right things but the part that really bothers me is if someone voices the manners and then is a total jerk to the person. I'll forgive a forgotten thank you in the presence of kindness.

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

I appreciate that people say the right things but the part that really bothers me is if someone voices the manners and then is a total jerk to the person. I'll forgive a forgotten thank you in the presence of kindness.

This. Far too many people overlook the simple kindnesses that day-to-day living allow them to offer.

 

[Jamiegeo]

Good evening or good day depending on where your located.
Growing up, We were bashed to within an inch of bruising(a skill many parents should have i believe-phone books are always a good weapon of choice) and taught to 'Treat others, the way we would like to be treated'.
Its hard to substitute anything for the sake of manners(with the exception of maybe Fire,emergency or tiredness etc..)

 

[TheSilverLining]

It's a deal-breaker. I could never respect a man enough to thank him for his cum if he didn't care enough to make me ask properly. Nowt else as important as "please" and "thankyou".....I mean, come on!


Seriously though, as Numi points out it's part of the being British thing - so bloody polite we're socially awkward. Please and thankyou were amongst the first few words I taught my kid, but being polite encompasses more than just the language used.

 

[LWulf]

I've had a bellyful of the thinly veiled manners but you can hear their lack of respect. "If you don't mean it, then don't say it." It might be bad manners, but I can take that over the alternative.

Lack of consideration kills me, that's my deal-breaker. I might not be a perfect person, but at least I have self respect... *considers my avatar* ...for the most part.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Kindness and consideration always influence me. Good manners are just an extension of that. I find the general rule that "how a person treats strangers is how they'll treat you when the bloom wears off the rose" is true.

 

[Trekka]

I would just like to say thank you to Chained for the accordion girl gif. I think she's super cute.

 

[ChainedUp]

motivation is a crafty mistress. We all want her to be our best friend, to push us onward, to enable us to get farther than we could on our own. But does it? Is it really motivation that drives us forward or is it just want/desire? Motivation might be the key that opens the door but we all have to make the step and walk through it. What makes you put one foot in front of the other?

 

[beachbaby179]

put one foot in front of the other?

Damn you. Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.

 

[LWulf]

Damn you. Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.

...and soon you'll be walking out the doo-oo-oor!

=========================================================

Stubbornness is my only recourse for motivation.

I have no love or fear of god, no body to come home to, no kids, no especial love of country, no love of a baseball team that never wins but I've always wanted to see them to win the stanley cup (or whatever baseballers shoot for), I've given up on hope... hell, I'm running out of things that might motivate another. Why I haven't offed myself up to now, is a mystery.

...maybe it IS that song??? Either that or sheer stubbornness.

 

[DarkSimian]

motivation is a crafty mistress. We all want her to be our best friend, to push us onward, to enable us to get farther than we could on our own. But does it? Is it really motivation that drives us forward or is it just want/desire? Motivation might be the key that opens the door but we all have to make the step and walk through it. What makes you put one foot in front of the other?

because I don't have a choice. For various reasons, people depend on me. It's my blessing, my curse. And if I don't show up, shit happens, and guess who gets to clean up that mess?

That, and it's a huge middle finger to depression; fuck you, I'm still living

 

[LWulf]

...no great interest in work, I've slept with the girl of my dreams (she was a slut anyway)...

Hell, I'm a dead man if death ever comes a knockin' and asks "do you have any unfinished business to attend to?"

 

[ChainedUp]

https://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/25/2013/09/Eeyore_3.jpg

 

[Paul_Chance]

I tend to differentiate motivators along the standard lines used in psychology - separating them into intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. Extrinsic motivations are our classic desires, needs and wants as directed toward objects (including people). I want to drive my nice car. I need to eat. I desire my hot neighbor. Classic action and reward behaviors.

To me at least it's the intrinsic parts that create motivation - the belief that I hold the locus of control in my life and so am capable of making decisions that influence outcomes, short and long term. The belief that I possess the ability and skills to act out of the locus of control and make choices and take actions that influence those outcomes and finally an interest in not just being "good enough", but in seeking mastery of those things that interest me.

That arises from my world view - I see the world as a game, a great game at that, and that inspires me to learn the rules and mechanics of the game and master them, just like playing chess. I use concepts from chess to approach life all the time - like in chess, in life, all the pieces can do certain things and they draw both their strength and their weakness from the specific rules that apply to them. Like chess, life is a series of plies that cascade one after another, each of them set up by the ones that went before, each constrained by the rules of the game, and yet when combined, billions of possible futures can unfold.

I combine this with my fundamentally Buddhist outlook, in alignment with the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path, in a world that is inherently indifferent to my wants and desires - not hostile, simply indifferent.

The end result is moving through life in a constant sense of amazement and amusement, not taking this life personally, motivated to do what is "right" in the moment, not in the western sense of right and wrong, but in the eastern sense that what is right is what aligns with observed reality. My motivation is to do what is right in the moment and in that moment, be happy and content. Success in life, as I define it, is not objects - objects are just markers in the great game. Success is playing the game, knowing the game, mastering the game.

 

[All_4_Love]

I have climbed my way out of the depths. Those were times that gave true meaning to the phrase one foot in front of the other. My motivation was a desire to go beyond surviving and start living my life, to cherish the gift.

Of course, I have needs that serve as motivation themselves. I have wants and desires, such as external things, although I don't spend much time focused on them. They're easily put aside, only to be appreciated all the more when and if I do attain them.

My motivation often comes from the fact that I have others depending on me. Most importantly, they depend on me to be the best version of myself. I depend on me for that, too.

When I have peace of mind and love in my heart, that is when my life has purpose and meaning. That is when I can fulfill my purpose. And that, to me, has great meaning. That is when I can be the best version of myself for others, which brings me joy, confidence, contentment, and a feeling of accomplishment... because at any given moment I can choose to do my best. There isn't any greater motivation than that.

 

[DarkSimian]

I have climbed my way out of the depths. Those were times that gave true meaning to the phrase one foot in front of the other. My motivation was a desire to go beyond surviving and start living my life, to cherish the gift.

Of course, I have needs that serve as motivation themselves. I have wants and desires, such as external things, although I don't spend much time focused on them. They're easily put aside, only to be appreciated all the more when and if I do attain them.

My motivation often comes from the fact that I have others depending on me. Most importantly, they depend on me to be the best version of myself. I depend on me for that, too.

When I have peace of mind and love in my heart, that is when my life has purpose and meaning. That is when I can fulfill my purpose. And that, to me, has great meaning. That is when I can be the best version of myself for others, which brings me joy, confidence, contentment, and a feeling of accomplishment... because at any given moment I can choose to do my best. There isn't any greater motivation than that.

again, such an eloquent thought, my dear.....

 

[All_4_Love]

again, such an eloquent thought, my dear.....

Thank you, DS. Since it meant something to you, I'm going to share something else. As nonsensical as it may seem, I have found that the harder I work at being a better person, at seeing and knowing the goodness within, at acceptance and forgiveness, at filling myself with faith, hope, and love... I have watched some of the most significant people in my life fall away. One would think it would be just the opposite. It's not. Not for me.

I've quoted JM, and even this very song, a lot in this thread. His lyrics, when listened to with an open mind and heart, have incredible depth and meaning. He gets it. He gets life. He gets love. He gets the journey and the growth therein. He is a brilliant lyricist, and yes, an even more brilliant musician.

Anyhow, enough of my love affair with him. Just listen to the song "Wheel". It's about life. He says, "you can't build a house of leaves and live like it's an evergreen". At the end he says "you can't love too much one part of it" and "I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give return to me".

It's profoundly true. Become the most loving person you can be. Find your freedom by letting go, not holding on, and never stop loving. That is the beauty of living. It is the meaning of life. It is for me. Maybe it is for you, too.

"Some people are going to love you no matter what you do. And some people will never love you no matter what you do. Go where the love is."

 

[DarkSimian]

Thank you, DS. Since it meant something to you, I'm going to share something else. As nonsensical as it may seem, I have found that the harder I work at being a better person, at seeing and knowing the goodness within, at acceptance and forgiveness, at filling myself with faith, hope, and love... I have watched some of the most significant people in my life fall away. One would think it would be just the opposite. It's not. Not for me.

I've quoted JM, and even this very song, a lot in this thread. His lyrics, when listened to with an open mind and heart, have incredible depth and meaning. He gets it. He gets life. He gets love. He gets the journey and the growth therein. He is a brilliant lyricist, and yes, an even more brilliant musician.

Anyhow, enough of my love affair with him. Just listen to the song "Wheel". It's about life. He says, "you can't build a house of leaves and live like it's an evergreen". At the end he says "you can't love too much one part of it" and "I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give return to me".

It's profoundly true. Become the most loving person you can be. Find your freedom by letting go, not holding on, and never stop loving. That is the beauty of living. It is the meaning of life. It is for me. Maybe it is for you, too.

"Some people are going to love you no matter what you do. And some people will never love you no matter what you do. Go where the love is."

for me it's Jim Croce; Operator, Photographs and Memories, I Have To Say I Love You In A Song, Time in a Bottle....such raw emotion, all to an acoustic guitar ...