Lit Relationships....are they worth it?

[blulilacgrl]

So let's talk relationships. Specifically Lit relationships.

I'm gonna be honest, I don't get them. They seem so drama filled and short lived. But maybe I'm biased. Maybe it's just me. I would love to see what everyone else thinks of them. Anyone willing to share the good, the bad, the ugly? Have you found that special someone? What was the longest lasting Lit relationship you've had? What was your worst? Are you still looking? And if not, why not?

Me personally, I'm not. Two heartbreaks is more than enough to sour me on the idea of finding anything meaningful beyond friendship here. But maybe there is a small little flame of hope that I'm wrong.

 

[Shi_One81]

Almost 4 years ago I started chatting with someone who really caught my eye and my attention. We exchanged PMs, and then we transitioned go Skype and emails. This entire time, he never sent me a dick pic. That’s one of the things that really stood out to me. I was going to be near where he was and I decided to give him the name of my hotel and I told him I wouldn’t be disappointed if he showed up. I’ll never forget the first time our eyes locked. I’ll never forget opening the door to my hotel room and having that first hug and kiss. I’ll never ever forget the way he made me feel and how he changed my life. Our relationship transitioned from Lit to life and we had some very high highs and very low lows. There are times when I wish we’d never met, but then I’d probably still be married to my asshole ex husband. There are times when I’m glad we met because he really did change my life. He led me on a path of self discovery. I want to hate him for breaking my heart and moving on like I never ever existed. But I can’t, I’ll always love him.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Almost 4 years ago I started chatting with someone who really caught my eye and my attention. We exchanged PMs, and then we transitioned go Skype and emails. This entire time, he never sent me a dick pic. That’s one of the things that really stood out to me. I was going to be near where he was and I decided to give him the name of my hotel and I told him I wouldn’t be disappointed if he showed up. I’ll never forget the first time our eyes locked. I’ll never forget opening the door to my hotel room and having that first hug and kiss. I’ll never ever forget the way he made me feel and how he changed my life. Our relationship transitioned from Lit to life and we had some very high highs and very low lows. There are times when I wish we’d never met, but then I’d probably still be married to my asshole ex husband. There are times when I’m glad we met because he really did change my life. He led me on a path of self discovery. I want to hate him for breaking my heart and moving on like I never ever existed. But I can’t, I’ll always love him.

Yeah see...it's that bit that gets to me. I wonder if it's the medium of the internet but it all seems so easily over and done and forgotten. I had one really serious thing. We spoke every day. We were there for each other in every way that we could be. I genuinely fell in love. He found someone real time and that was it. It's made me question the whole thing. Then I look around here and except for a few people, everyone seems to be switching partners on a weekly basis. I just don't get it.

 

[Shi_One81]

Yeah see...it's that bit that gets to me. I wonder if it's the medium of the internet but it all seems so easily over and done and forgotten. I had one really serious thing. We spoke every day. We were there for each other in every way that we could be. I genuinely fell in love. He found someone real time and that was it. It's made me question the whole thing. Then I look around here and except for a few people, everyone seems to be switching partners on a weekly basis. I just don't get it.

BUT ours was a relationship that started here but quickly transitioned away from here and into actual real life. We did long distance (5 hrs door to door) for a year and a half. Not bad for a long distance relationship. They’re hard to maintain when you can only see each other once or twice a month.

I’m very open to having something develop with some else. There’s someone I talk to now whom I could see being in my life but there’s distance and I’m not sure how into me he really is.

 

[AlwaysFara]

So let's talk relationships. Specifically Lit relationships.

I'm gonna be honest, I don't get them. They seem so drama filled and short lived. But maybe I'm biased. Maybe it's just me. I would love to see what everyone else thinks of them. Anyone willing to share the good, the bad, the ugly? Have you found that special someone? What was the longest lasting Lit relationship you've had? What was your worst? Are you still looking? And if not, why not?

Me personally, I'm not. Two heartbreaks is more than enough to sour me on the idea of finding anything meaningful beyond friendship here. But maybe there is a small little flame of hope that I'm wrong.

I found my guy here. Met him in real life. We fuck. We love. Hard. He’s here, with me now, in my life, every day.
Happy as fuck.

 

[blulilacgrl]

BUT ours was a relationship that started here but quickly transitioned away from here and into actual real life. We did long distance (5 hrs door to door) for a year and a half. Not bad for a long distance relationship. They’re hard to maintain when you can only see each other once or twice a month.

I’m very open to having something develop with some else. There’s someone I talk to now whom I could see being in my life but there’s distance and I’m not sure how into me he really is.

So you haven't lost hope on the idea? Maybe I just haven't met that person who makes me want to try again.

I found my guy here. Met him in real life. We fuck. We love. Hard. He’s here, with me now, in my life, every day.
Happy as fuck.

That's awesome. Good to hear that sometimes it does work out. Is there anything that you can point to that made a difference?

 

[PNWKitten]

Until now only a few people know I refer to Lit fondly as the Recycling Center. Partners get changed as easily as a game of musical chairs. (I'm not excluding myself from having had multiple people I've cared about).

I'm single and many are not. That puts a crimp in the dynamic right off the top for me.

There was someone once I thought the world of. He broke my heart. If I had only that experience I'd say its not worth it.

But then I met someone else and it became real life (we are both single) and we've been together for 7 months and going strong so I'm glad I was open to it.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Until now only a few people know I refer to Lit fondly as the Recycling Center. Partners get changed as easily as a game of musical chairs. (I'm not excluding myself from having had multiple people I've cared about).

I'm single and many are not. That puts a crimp in the dynamic right off the top for me.

There was someone once I thought the world of. He broke my heart. If I had only that experience I'd say its not worth it.

But then I met someone else and it became real life (we are both single) and we've been together for 7 months and going strong so I'm glad I was open to it.

That real life component is looking to be a trend in gauging the successfulness of a relationship.

 

[PNWKitten]

That real life component is looking to be a trend in gauging the successfulness of a relationship.

I know there are those who are making it work without taking it to real life, but I just cant speak to that personally.

 

[pandaburr]

Friendship-wise, I've made a few who have become real life friends. Two of them I've been talking to for over a year now and we text and call each other daily. That alone I think is amazing.

I fell hard for one person here. The only person I've ever fallen for online and it fizzled. Not sure how or why or what. I can question it all day I guess. I opened up and shared a lot of me with him so sigh. Sucks. Anyway, I'm not sure I would want to go through that again.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Friendship-wise, I've made a few who have become real life friends. Two of them I've been talking to for over a year now and we text and call each other daily. That alone I think is amazing.

I fell hard for one person here. The only person I've ever fallen for online and it fizzled. Not sure how or why or what. I can question it all day I guess. I opened up and shared a lot of me with him so sigh. Sucks. Anyway, I'm not sure I would want to go through that again.

Yes! Some of the friendships ive made here are still going years and years after meeting here. I've met them in person and I really can't imagine my life without them. But romance wise, those just seem so fleeting and not worth the effort. But then I see people who make it work and question myself.

 

[pandaburr]

Yes! Some of the friendships ive made here are still going years and years after meeting here. I've met them in person and I really can't imagine my life without them. But romance wise, those just seem so fleeting and not worth the effort. But then I see people who make it work and question myself.

I totally get it. I haven't stopped questioning myself since.

 

[AlwaysFara]

So you haven't lost hope on the idea? Maybe I just haven't met that person who makes me want to try again.



That's awesome. Good to hear that sometimes it does work out. Is there anything that you can point to that made a difference?

Yes. Being real here. No fake. No filters. Pics. Talking on the phone. Being in the flesh. A willingness to move forward.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I know there are those who are making it work without taking it to real life, but I just cant speak to that personally.

This. So much this.

 

[JerseyJade]

Yes. Being real here. No fake. No filters. Pics. Talking on the phone. Being in the flesh. A willingness to move forward.

I agree about the filters. Filters suck! You'll never catch me using a filter, that's for sure.

 

[ydahecnot]

Of course, real life just isn’t possible sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have something special.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I agree about the filters. Filters suck! You'll never catch me using a filter, that's for sure.

You’ve posted enough real pics. Come on.

You know what I mean.
If you want to move forward with someone, and you want it to translate to real life??? You have to be real. There are posters here who only post younger pics. Or fake pics. Or completely filtered pics... every time.

 

[JerseyJade]

You’ve posted enough real pics. Come on.

You know what I mean.
If you want to move forward with someone, and you want it to translate to real life??? You have to be real. There are posters here who only post younger pics. Or fake pics. Or completely filtered pics... every time.

I knew what you meant. I was just being silly.

 

[Richard_C]

Relationships? You wanna talk about relationships?

What's next, feelings?

I have been able to look at this place through the perspective of someone who is married and someone who is single. I don't and never really have looked at this place as a place to meet someone or even develop a serious "love" based relationship. Now, I've had some relationships develop. I've made some connections and felt very close to some here. There are a handful of individuals here that I will even say that I truly care about. I'm not looking for "life partner", but I'm also not "just get my jollies" guy either. I fall somewhere in between. I want more, sometimes lots more and sometimes just more. There are a LOT of beautiful people here and I mean that on a deeper level. Most of us are pervs to some degree and we embrace that. If you find someone you trust, you should embrace that someone. It doesn't have to be for something "happily ever after".

My advice is to be genuine, be honest and always, always communicate.

 

[beachbaby179]

It is absolutely possible. I've met many people from here, most as friends, a select few as more. It depends what you want. It's a road full of potholes, unfortunately, so you really need to look out where you're headed. It only really works if you both want the same thing. The problems arise when one wants more than the other. But I agree with the posters above - you need to be real with a person for it to go anywhere, either online or if you take it to real life. A less than honest persona will only take you so far - once you start talking on the phone, video chatting, or meeting for real, the charade is over. But I'm careful who I share with and I still ended up getting badly hurt once or twice. It's a risk - but one I take because some of the men (and women) of Lit are the best around.

 

[Sundayschild]

Definitely. Some end well, some fizzle, but when they're working it helps the day go by. There's little more fun than to get that message/voicemail in the morning, or conversely knowing that you have someone's knickers drenched while she's at the office etc.

 

[Series 6]

Relationships in general are hard and can leave you frustrated, especially as we get older.

My question is, did you come to this site with the intention to connect with someone?

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

Anything is possible. If both people find a connection with one another and feel that it's right, I think anyone should go for it. There's lots of things that can happen, like getting hurt, rejected or it simply doesn't work out the way you want it too. It shouldn't stop you for going for something you truly want or desire. In the past and I will admit to this, I stopped things in the past because I was deeply hurt by someone I loved and it used to stop me from getting involved with anyone else because I was so scared of getting hurt again. All I did was push people away or run away from things. Nothing ever seemed to work out either, so I worked on myself.

It's mind over matter, I'm working on thinking positive and pushing myself to do things and go for things or try new things because I used to be so scared of everything. This is me being honest and forward with these issues. If I continue to be scared and push things downward, I will never improve or move on past things. So this year and next year is all about new experiences for me.

 

[blulilacgrl]

It is absolutely possible. I've met many people from here, most as friends, a select few as more. It depends what you want. It's a road full of potholes, unfortunately, so you really need to look out where you're headed. It only really works if you both want the same thing. The problems arise when one wants more than the other. But I agree with the posters above - you need to be real with a person for it to go anywhere, either online or if you take it to real life. A less than honest persona will only take you so far - once you start talking on the phone, video chatting, or meeting for real, the charade is over. But I'm careful who I share with and I still ended up getting badly hurt once or twice. It's a risk - but one I take because some of the men (and women) of Lit are the best around.

Maybe that's my issue. I don't know how to be fake. Lol. I mean I know how to put up walls and how to project an image but that's not something I can do when I begin to talk to someone. I have this horrible habit of being too real, I think.

I've personally had some terrible luck here in that area. It's like any other place where you meet people really. Sometimes you just click with someone. I tried, when I happened to grow close to somebody I thought was real, and got viciously burned and violated. Possibly catfished (I still don't know, she just immediately disappeared). And then I found out people knew what was going on, she's played multiple people which I had no idea about, and didn't tell me. And others thought to lecture me about how lit "isn't a dating website" so I guess that means I deserve hurt. It's kind of amazing I'm still here, really. Some people are just absolute shit. Gaslighting, cruelty, backbiting, mixed messages. This has been my lit experience in the past. Just being fucked with and betrayed.

And by the way, if you know someone is betraying someone and you say nothing? You're basically aiding the betrayer. "Hey, sorry about what happened but I didn't think it was my place to say anything". Imagine hearing this from a trusted friend after you just had your heart ripped out and stomped on. How would YOU feel? About ten times worse, right? So I hope "Samm" (probably not her real name) aka Livnmylife is having a great life. Because she truly ruined mine for awhile.

So yeah, ehem...(Just had to primal scream for a minute)

I treasure the actual friends I've made here. And I'm happy this place has worked for people who have found their person. But, for me, the ship has sailed in regards to lit dating and relationships.

So I'm not the only one! Yay! I do think my ship has sailed as well.

Definitely. Some end well, some fizzle, but when they're working it helps the day go by. There's little more fun than to get that message/voicemail in the morning, or conversely knowing that you have someone's knickers drenched while she's at the office etc.

Is that what people are looking for here, do you think? Just something to pass the time?

Relationships in general are hard and can leave you frustrated, especially as we get older.

My question is, did you come to this site with the intention to connect with someone?

I didn't, actually. When I first came here it was to write. I fell into a relationship quite by accident. But I think anyone who is on a social site is looking for a connection of some sort. For some it's romantic, for others maybe just to have someone to chat with. I find the longer I am on this site, the less I want romantic or sexual and more just a general friendship. Maybe a little light-hearted teasing or flirtation. Which seems odd given the nature of this site.

 

[Sundayschild]

Is that what people are looking for here, do you think? Just something to pass the time?

I wouldn't go that far. I've seen plenty of people looking for love. Some have found it, others havent. And some are looking without admitting it to themselves. I've also seen lots of people looking for a quick thrill, but with Tinder etc being so prevalent I actually think this place attracts less than it used to.