Lines that make you say, 'Did I really just write that?"

[lovecraft68]

End of the day we're a bunch of pervs writing porn. Although we may create story around the sex and try to have some substance and depth to our smut there comes that time in the story where class is dropped along with your characters clothes because now its time to get down and dirty.

Your characters-because we blame them-are like real people and when real people get hardcore raunchy, well, they start talking dirty and in the throes of lust will come up with some truly winning lines.

The kind of line when you read back during editing you're embarrassed for yourself. "Did I just write that? Really, LC? Damn, my folks would be proud? And my favorite personal dig, "Who told you that you could write?"

If any stand out to you from your work, its fess up time.

 

[lovecraft68]

Kick it off with this gem.

“Don’t worry,” she gave him the cock inspiring Missy giggle. “Tossed a load of laundry in while I took a shower I hoped wearing these would help you dump some loads on me."

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Jeanie frowned. "So the blind guy was complaining about life passing him by? How would he know?"

I know, I'm going to Hell, I know...

 

[MrPixel]

I'll play.

"Simple, really. When Thad gets here, all five of us are going to fuck her and fill her up. This is a rare opportunity. If we start and end with Thad he'll be able to cum in her twice."

 

[RejectReality]

I'm pretty shameless when it comes to my stuff, but I know for a fact that my wordplay makes some people roll their eyes. The first one that comes to mind is from my micro "Road Show"

"We're headed home, but she has her hand in her shorts, and she's going to town."

And a little banter from "And I'll Get a Pole"

"So, are you planning to camp right here tonight?"

His brow furrowed and he said, "Huh?"

"Well, you're pitching a tent," she clarified while looking down at his manhood, and then up into his eyes to fix him with a sultry grin.

His eyes lit up and his smile turned just as naughty as hers. "Sleeps two."

"Is that so? I'm not sure about that."

"You could always see for yourself."

 

[Bubo_bubo]

This blacksploitation one.
Ku Kux Klan:
Richard Bocock and his man had been hunting down the black men that fucked their wives behind their back for long months. Behind this door was probably the most dangerous of them all, a man called Shaft.
They burst inside but to their horror Shaft was not alone. With him was Emily, Richard's wife. The fading Southern Belle was naked on her knees before be-afro'ed giant sucking on the reason he was called Shaft.
The pause was enough for Shaft to empty first one, then a second shotgun in the direction of the Ku Kux Klan members. They screamed as the ball-shredding shot tore into them, and lay soon writhing on the ground.
They'd live, but Shaft had made sure that their wives would continue to seek out thick Mandingo meat to stuff their snow bunny tacos.

 

[SimonDoom]

The last paragraph of "Mom, You're a Hucow!":

Mom says that baby is going to be the best-nursed baby in history, and I believe her. And I think that's great, just as long as there's plenty of milk left for me.

 

[oggbashan]

From the other thread Too Many Adjectives...

I should be ashamed of these. I'm not.

https://www.literotica.com/s/breathless-stargazing


https://www.literotica.com/s/the-worst-chain-story-ever-ch-01

 

[Bubo_bubo]

Oggbashan:

 

[Duleigh]

A woman is speaking to the ghost of her future self in the kitchen late on Christmas Eve when her daughter comes into the kitchen for a glass of water.

She put her Paw Puppy cup to the water dispenser on the fridge and half-filled it then took a sip. She looked at me, then at the specter of the future me and asked, “Who are you talking to mommy?”

“I’m just talking to myself baby, now get back to bed or Santa won’t come.”

 

[1gorMondovsky]

"I knew my carnal desires were taking over when the young woman crossing the grocery store parking lot in front of my car made my cock twitch; all I could think about was the tickle I might get when I'm buried so deep inside her her cervix and my urethra meet...(shudder)"

 

[AWhoopsieDaisy]

He has four goldfish, the kind with bulging eyes and a brain shaped crest on their heads. He's had them for ten years now, which is impressive until one examines the ramifications of this. He was so young when he got them that they're saddled with names 'One, Two, Red and Blue' all with the last name 'Fish'... in English.

And in the same draft

Should he see a doctor about this? What would he even say? 'Hello Doctor-Sensei, I think my sexy detection is broken'? That sounds fake and dumb.

This is so cringe.

 

[SimonDoom]

"I'm Teddy Bear, and I want to fuck you."

 

[AwkwardlySet]

"If being ridden is what makes a horse, then I have been one for years..."

 

[gunhilltrain]

My heroine Nora, a student/hooker (she tries to do both for ten months) can be extremely blunt. Right after she turns her first trick, quite impulsively (I just liked the money) she ponders what she has done. She thinks about her first john: I don't mean anything to this guy; I'm just a mouth that brought him to a climax. All right, I accepted that fact. A little later she decides to continue on this path: Why bang these dumb guys for nothing when I could get them to pay for it? They don't care about me one way or the other. I was just a sexual object to them.

She can quite blunt with the johns too, as when one asks for a second sexual act he can't pay for. "Josh, I'm running a business here. Like, you wouldn't expect to get a free drill set from Sears." (This was in 1974 when Sears was still a viable entity.) "Just to be clear, you hired me to blow you. I'm not your lover, or girlfriend, or even a friend with benefits."