Limericks for Lit

[mentor_man2003]

At the suggestion of AlbertShuttleBottom and with (hopeful) support from Lotus_Blossom, both of the "Intellectual sexuality" thread, let's see if anyone has an interest in reading, writing, or responding to, original limericks... and as Albert suggested... for the snooty, rhyming Iambic pentameters and sonnets will also be acceptable, as will encouragement and (shudder) critique from all... So, without further adieu, welcome...

lit writers, you're way ahead
with your writings of people in bed
so, poets of lit
let's play a bit
and limerick 'bout fucking and head

 

[mentor_man2003]

it's more between the ears than between the legs...

...and another, to help get it started...

it isn't just getting in bed
erotica takes thinking instead
while i love her moans and her begs
not from just spreading her legs
it's what i ponder while she's giving head

 

[mentor_man2003]

whoops...

(inadvertent duplicate removed)

 

[AlbertShufflebottom]

You had no recourse to blush,
but you went ahead without us.
The poets would shun us
yet limericks become us.
So lets go ahead, of course.

 

[Lotus_Blossom_]

There was a bored lady on Lit
Who loved all the humour and wit
She clicked and she browsed
Was getting aroused
When in walked her colleague, oh....

 

[Lotus_Blossom_]

Here's a thought, oh no you say
Can't we just leave it today
We'll make them run
But it'll be fun
How about a theme to play?

 

[mentor_man2003]

from something on jay leno's monologue, last night...

James Woods, I know he's no fool
now with young babe, i know you would drool
can it actually work?
or is it a quirk?
I guess he's not just a tech tool...

(ok all you intellects of lit... special prizes for those who pm me with the explanation for the last line)

 

[Lotus_Blossom_]

For example, today can be voice
Write a ditty about this word choice
Sonorous and deep
Will make my heart leap
While sexy accents make me rejoice

 

[mentor_man2003]

Public threads, I'd always shun,
Preferring to chat with just one...
Until intellect came,
so I played this game
Now PMs are all that has cum...

 

[mentor_man2003]

For example, today can be voice
Write a ditty about this word choice
Sonorous and deep
Will make my heart leap
While sexy accents make me rejoice

i guess i'm just out of luck
on accents i really do suck
i'm not "from" the south
what comes from my mouth
are ny'ers' words like... "oh! fuck!"

 

[KRCummings]

Take this shit to the Playground or shut the fuck up. Nobody cares.

 

[AlbertShufflebottom]

K R Cummings can't follow a rule.
He really is quite the fool.
You only submit
with a limerick
or simply shut up and drool.

 

[mentor_man2003]

Take this shit to the Playground or shut the fuck up. Nobody cares.

there's just no cure for dumb
this remark i knew would soon come,
for fools, i've already been warned,
will respond as though they've been scorned,
so now just what's to be done?

 

[KRCummings]

K R Cummings can't follow a rule.
He really is quite the fool.
You only submit
with a limerick
or simply shut up and drool.

You're a fucking idiot.
The GB doesn't care for this bullshit.
Hope you fucking die in a fire.
You suck like your mother during Fleet Week.

 

[mentor_man2003]

You're a fucking idiot.
The GB doesn't care for this bullshit.
Hope you fucking die in a fire.
You suck like your mother during Fleet Week.

ee would not admire
remarks about moms and a fire
and... ohio state?
did you graduate?
or just aspire for higher?

 

[KRCummings]

er would not admire
remarks about mom's and a fire
and... ohio state?
did you graduate?
or just aspire for higher?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Go fuck yourself

 

[mentor_man2003]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Go fuck yourself

fucking oneself on a "date"?
i don't think it's something i'd rate
as high on my list
'though you appear pissed
why don't you just go masturbate?

 

[Lotus_Blossom_]

a translation

Take this shit to the Playground or shut the fuck up. Nobody cares.

Please be quiet, I hate this thread
This whole thing makes me see red
Take it elsewhere
Playground is fair
They're nicer there, so it's said

 

[AlbertShufflebottom]

K.R. Cummings will finally quit,
he's rather devoid of wit.
He can pour scorn
but he'll end up forlorn
because he's simply a shit.

 

[KRCummings]

K.R. Cummings will finally quit,
he's rather devoid of wit.
He can pour scorn
but he'll end up forlorn
because he's simply a shit.

Doesn't it strike you as odd that the only other person in this thread is someone telling you we don't want you here?
Go the fuck away to the Playground with the other idiots. Maybe you can make a never ending thread about numbers or some bullshit.

 

[mentor_man2003]

Doesn't it strike you as odd that the only other person in this thread is someone telling you we don't want you here?
Go the fuck away to the Playground with the other idiots. Maybe you can make a never ending thread about numbers or some bullshit.

Perhaps I was over my head
using "general" when starting this thread
but if you had asked nice
I woulda thought twice
And put it on "playground" instead

 

[AlbertShufflebottom]

K.R.Cummings alone objects.
The theme he simply neglects.
We planned to have fun
but he can have none.
A kill-joy we can neglect.

 

[mentor_man2003]

Doesn't it strike you as odd that the only other person in this thread is someone telling you we don't want you here?
Go the fuck away to the Playground with the other idiots. Maybe you can make a never ending thread about numbers or some bullshit.

It seems you must think you are smart
But such drivel can't come from your heart
'twould be better instead
If you'd just use your head
And think, instead of just fart

 

[KRCummings]

Fucks sake. It's like Stupid-Con up in this motherfucker.

 

[evesdream]

At the suggestion of AlbertShuttleBottom and with (hopeful) support from Lotus_Blossom, both of the "Intellectual sexuality" thread, let's see if anyone has an interest in reading, writing, or responding to, original limericks... and as Albert suggested... for the snooty, rhyming Iambic pentameters and sonnets will also be acceptable, as will encouragement and (shudder) critique from all... So, without further adieu, welcome...

lit writers, you're way ahead
with your writings of people in bed
so, poets of lit
let's play a bit
and limerick 'bout fucking and head

It's been done here before and much better
you chipper, annoying go-getter.

So heed what I say,
in the sweet GB way

"Go back to the playground, bed-wetter!"