Like really?

[Luna_Bella]

Oh my my
I figured I would keep update on what is happening with me

The weekend was quite ok and so was last week.. it stated going a little weird on monday night though.

When my husband came back from work he was in a fantastic mood, hugging and kissing me every chance he got and being vey gentle and caring later in the evening things were starting to get hot and heavy, he looked at me and playfully asked what i would say if he said he wanted to move out in January, I look at him ask ask move out? what do you mean? he told me well you know move out! I gave him a confused look and he laughingly tld me "sell yourself to me tell me /convince me why I should stay here I got furious. after almost 9 years if he doesn't know why he should be with me, well then maybe he better leave! but I seriously think he expected special favors for me to convince him that he should stay, the bastard

then two minutes later he told me he couldn't stand the thought of me being with someone else? like WTF! if he doesn't want me why would it matter to him that I would be with someone else? and he went on ranting about Evan (some of you will remember Evan from my posts last winter)

well the next morning he acted like nothing had happened and when he came home last night I confronted him about it... he says he doens't remember!!!! I asked him if he was Intoxicated or something he said no but how do you forget that kind of conversation, seriously!!! I told him he was hurting me and that my patience was running very thin, he told me that he loves me , but he wants to sleep around ( i am the only person he has ever had sex with) I told him that we had options(swinging, threesome, open relationship etc) if that what the problem was
but he told me that he didn't want that

So what i got from that is He wants to be with me but sleep around yet I wouldn't be allowed to see anyone else!! Yeah right as if that is going to happen! what the hell he thinks I am the idiot who gonna stand by him while he's running around getting his thrill on and that he can always come back and I won't say anything in what fantasy world does he live in,

But then again tonight he will probably say he doesn't remember having this conversation what does he think?? I that will swallow anything he tells me without making a fuss

I just don't know what is going on anymore! anyone has any idea what is going through his head??

I know I am being an idiot for putting up with this so please don't say anything about that, I am trying to save my marriage (if it is salvageable at this point) if I wasn't married to this guy I would have dumped his ass as soon as told me he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me, but I am married to him and I made a promise that I would try everything I could to love him and care for him no matter what.

 

[qrayze]

um...he needs his brain evaluated...soon.

if he is acting that erratic and not remembering it? something's not right in his head.

no amount of counseling is going to help you two if his brain has checked out of reality.

seriously, he needs to see a doctor as soon as is possible.

 

[SweetErika]

um...he needs his brain evaluated...soon.

if he is acting that erratic and not remembering it? something's not right in his head.

no amount of counseling is going to help you two if his brain has checked out of reality.

seriously, he needs to see a doctor as soon as is possible.

Yep, or he's been taking some kind of drug. There's some kind of chemical imbalance going on here, whether it's natural or artificial.

Either way, make sure YOU stop sleeping with him. He may already be cheating on you and want permission after the fact. Also, I'm sure you really don't want to risk bringing another child into this relationship.

 

[NomadLady]

I struggled with a lot of that during my marriage to someone that was clinically depressed and bi-polar. He needs help.
I had lots of those weird mood swings in 14 years and yes, it is VERY TIRING.
You don't know who you are living with from one moment to the next.

Keep your chin up Luna...you have support here.

 

[Luna_Bella]

Yep, or he's been taking some kind of drug. There's some kind of chemical imbalance going on here, whether it's natural or artificial.

Either way, make sure YOU stop sleeping with him. He may already be cheating on you and want permission after the fact. Also, I'm sure you really don't want to risk bringing another child into this relationship.

you are definetly right another child is out of the question.... but I just can't bring myself not to sleep with him. call me weak, but It will be like punishing myself( it's not like I don't benefit from it!) and it is the only thing that I feel keeps me "somewhat" connected to him. call me desperate or whatever, I know, it makes no sense. I am the type of girl who lets nobody step on her toes ever but when it comes to him I just can't help it.

one minute I am thinking :what the hell am I dealing with this BS for I deserve so much better, which way is out. The next I am so down and depressed I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I just wish he would come back to what it was like only a few months ago he's always been so loving and caring and now this?? Its all wrong .

 

[EsotericSub]

um...he needs his brain evaluated...soon.

if he is acting that erratic and not remembering it? something's not right in his head.

no amount of counseling is going to help you two if his brain has checked out of reality.

seriously, he needs to see a doctor as soon as is possible.

Agreed.

From what you're saying, this is really out of character for him, and I'm sure after being together for 9 years he should know you well enough to know that, "Oh, I don't remember," isn't a valid excuse. Especially considering that he then did it again. If he honestly doesn't remember these things, then you have a problem on your hands.

My ex was unlucky enough to be suffering from bipolar disorder AND dissociative identity, and although I'm not trying to scare you.... trust me: doing/saying bizarre things and not remembering them later isn't a good sign.

I would talk to him (when he seems "normal" and not in one of those weird episodes, if possible) about how this is scaring you and you think he should see a doctor to make sure things are in order. See your GP, go with him so they can ask for your side of things since he can't remember these instances. Hopefully they can recommend someone who's a little more specialized who can help you figure out what's going on.

 

[NippleMuncher]

um...he needs his brain evaluated...soon.

Yes he does, with a long cylindrical object that has Spalding written on the side of it! (baseball bat for those who are not into sports ).

Should he move out in January? No, he should get his ass out right now!

 

[SweetErika]

you are definetly right another child is out of the question.... but I just can't bring myself not to sleep with him. call me weak, but It will be like punishing myself( it's not like I don't benefit from it!) and it is the only thing that I feel keeps me "somewhat" connected to him. call me desperate or whatever, I know, it makes no sense. I am the type of girl who lets nobody step on her toes ever but when it comes to him I just can't help it.

one minute I am thinking :what the hell am I dealing with this BS for I deserve so much better, which way is out. The next I am so down and depressed I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I just wish he would come back to what it was like only a few months ago he's always been so loving and caring and now this?? Its all wrong .

I don't know about you, but the possibility/likelihood of getting an STI would put a damper on my desire. Hopefully you're at least using condoms.

You also might want to consider how continuing to have sex with this mindfucker is affecting you emotionally.

You've mentioned counseling before. Are YOU seeing a good therapist? If not, I'd suggest getting to one ASAP, with or without him. It sounds like you need more help than we can provide and a neutral party to give you a read on the situation and help you make the best decisions for yourself and your kids.

 

[Luna_Bella]

Erika... Yes on all counts, I have been thinking about STI's and we have been using condoms (he thinks its for birth control but I know otherwise),

I am seeing a therapist and she seems very good to me, the only thing is that since my insurance doesn't cover a private so I have to go through the public sector and she is extremely busy (Yay for Quebec's health care system!) so she can't see me as often As I would want to see her. I know this situation is a bad one for me emotionally but I am finding it really hard to walk away.

Nipplemuncher, lol, That was the highlight of my day, I do have volunteers to go "check" his head but they fear legal consequences plus I wouldn't want them to get hurt

 

[NippleMuncher]

Glad I could brighten your day, Luna.

You have my empathy for what you're going through, you also deserve commendation for seeking counseling. With any luck, you'll be able to work through whatever is keeping you with this lout, and ultimately, avoid repeating the same relationship with a different person.