"Lifestyle"

[Seurat]

Nope. Just a slice of my life.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the—if he—if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not—that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement."

-- William Jefferson Clinton​

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the—if he—if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not—that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement."

-- William Jefferson Clinton​

Win.

 

[chy_girl]

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the—if he—if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not—that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement."

-- William Jefferson Clinton​

The irony... I was going to say "I wouldn't call it a 'lifestyle' per say - it's just a part of who I am that simply is."

 

[Stella_Omega]

There have been times when BDSM made up much more of my "lifestyle" than it does right now. There have been times when there has been far less kink in my life, as well.

 

[graceanne]

I hate that word. It's an important part of my life.

Me, too. And whether I'm considered lifestyle depends on who's asking. I am who I am and that's all the time (which is why I'm more likely to say i'm 24/7), and doesn't change when the bedroom door closes. On the flip side, we don't go for the trappings. I do not have a collar, we rarely attend events (day care problems party, but also k think's they're boring, and we don't play in public).

No. despite being sexually submissive and getting off on bondage and pain, it is strictly bedroom only. I'm not sure I could live with someone who considered themselves my superior (or indeed inferior). I admit that sometimes I fantasise about being with someone who would just take control and manage the finances and make all the big decisions, but I don't think I'd like it in reality and having spent 20 odd years of putting someone else's needs before my own, both emotionally and sexually, if I ever get out, then it sure as hell won't be into the same kind of relationship.

Not all 24/7 (or lifestyle) relationships are where the top is superior and the bottom is inferior. In most cases that only happens in fiction.

Mmmmmm... no. I mean I am who I am [including what I am], which never stops [regardless of relationship status or whatever else], but it isn't like I *have* to have the outward trappings, or symbolism, or overt dynamic, or be surrounded by like minded people (active in the munch/seminar/public dungeon scene) in order to feel my life is well balanced. Lately, I try not to even bother with the labels thing [regarding myself] if possible; when asked I'm more likely to say something like "I don't run the show" than "I'm submissive".

See? By this definition I wouldn't be a 'lifestyler' either. *shrugs*

 

[FungiUg]

if you are conducting your entire relationship that way, isn't that your lifestyle?

I would guess that the assumption here is that your relationship is your lifestyle. Need it be?

 

[FungiUg]

I hate that word. It's an important part of my life.

I'm not sure I hate it, but it certainly doesn't seem to fit my personal image of my life, even though (as you say) it is an important part.

I was curious as to what makes it a "lifestyle", rather than just a part of someone's life.

 

[FungiUg]

For me, my "community" is about people who share this as the core of who and what they are.

I can see how that would make BDSM a "lifestyle", rather than just an interest. In fact, I think the community aspect for me would be the largest part of any lifestyle. Thanks EG.

 

[FungiUg]

[hijack]
Now I have this image of Super Netzach entering a telephone boot and flying out wearing a corset and boots going to flog the good guys that deserve it
[/hijack]

I know! I'm so hoping that someone put up cameras in that phone booth...

 

[FungiUg]

It's another definitional argument. Meh.

Dammit, you didn't have to tell!

Yeah, it is. But then, I was curious. For me, BDSM is not a lifestyle, and yet I see so many people claim it to be one. So I wondered what it was that made it such for those who are into it.

 

[FungiUg]

M/s is my lifestyle.

Thanks fuckmeat. I guess the pervasiveness of BDSM, M/s, D/s, or whatever dynamic would, as you say, create a lifestyle. In your case, I see amost an internalised pervasiveness, whereas for what Evil_Geoff was discussing, it's more of an externalised pervasiveness. But either way, I would agree that it would form a lifestyle under those conditions.

 

[callinectes2]

hmm, I had to think about this one a bit. B and I are not "community BDSMers". We don't go to events, clubs, etc. On the other hand, our relationship is a huge part of my life just as it is with a vanilla couple. I'd venture to say our D/s relationship touches every aspect of my life and in subtle ways even my interactions with other people. So while I can't say BDSM or D/s is my lifestyle, it certainly defines my life. Make sense?

 

[KoPilot]

Thanks fuckmeat. I guess the pervasiveness of BDSM, M/s, D/s, or whatever dynamic would, as you say, create a lifestyle. In your case, I see amost an internalised pervasiveness, whereas for what Evil_Geoff was discussing, it's more of an externalised pervasiveness. But either way, I would agree that it would form a lifestyle under those conditions.

I think externalized versus internalized is a pretty interesting point to bring up. /ponders

 

[Stella_Omega]

I can see how that would make BDSM a "lifestyle", rather than just an interest. In fact, I think the community aspect for me would be the largest part of any lifestyle. Thanks EG.

More than a relationship?

I guess some people need a tribe to identify with-- I know I do. Some people only need the Perfect One. So that's two valid criteria...

 

[FungiUg]

More than a relationship?

I guess some people need a tribe to identify with-- I know I do. Some people only need the Perfect One. So that's two valid criteria...

Well, our relationship with a community, particularly one we identify with and feel a part of... yes, it's the tribal nature of the human animal, I guess. But all the same, that sense of identity, of defining ourselves as part of that community would very much make up a large part of a life.

I'm waffling. The point I guess is that either way, it's defined by our relationships.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, our relationship with a community, particularly one we identify with and feel a part of... yes, it's the tribal nature of the human animal, I guess. But all the same, that sense of identity, of defining ourselves as part of that community would very much make up a large part of a life.

I'm waffling. The point I guess is that either way, it's defined by our relationships.

Unless you can top and bottom yourself all by yourself...

And there are bits that you can do alone, of course, but I don't think many people do that by preference...