Life crisis, choices and changes

[Gnome]

After reading the posts of people who have lost loved ones (recently lost my father, now a 49 y/o orphan) I hesitate to post, but feel the need to unload concerning life crisis and life changes. Monday I’ll have brain surgery.

I consider the recent ladder accident a blessing in disguise, because without it there never would have been a CAT scan. Without the CAT scan I never would have known I've been carrying a colloid cyst in my brain for years that could have caused a blackout at anytime.

Naturally, this caused reflection on the path my life has taken. Why was I working 16-hour days, living on caffeine/nicotine, eating once a day, not exercising and not spending time with loved ones? At 24 I realized my mortality and had the same debate with myself. Now I’m almost 50 and have lost the “immunity” I thought was mine.

Of course I’ll change the obvious. I would like to hear from those who have faced similar circumstances and if/how their lives changed. I’ll be back in a couple weeks to check.

 

[Aranian]

Ouch. Sounds like a lot to happen in a short time.

They call it a mid-life crisis. It's basically when you realize that the opportunity cost of your present course of action outbalances the total utility. The solution is to select a course of action that maximizes the utility. Find a new job, spend time with the family, whatever.
2-2

 

[teresafannin]

Dear Gnome, Good luck with the surgery on Monday, I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers. I haven't experienced what you are going through, but you may know that my 17 year old son was murdered a year ago. It has been the most devastating thing I could have imagined. I am somehow going on with my life, it is very difficult, but I am getting involved with victim/survivor advocacy. I try to spend time with my family & let them know how much I love them all. I do work too much, but it keeps my mind busy. I don't know if it helps, but know that losing a loved one is always traumatic. Let us know how you are doing. Take care, Teresa

 

[Roll-One]

Good Luck to ya, hope everything works out for ya..

 

[Laurel]

Our thoughts are with you, Gnome.

 

[Patryn]

First of all Gnome, my thoughts will be with you. I've never been through something like that myself, but I have a friend who has been, and recently. Out of the clear blue sky, for no reason anyone can figure out, he had a cerebral hemorrhage. He's OK, and suffered no permanent damage, but he's quit studying for 16 hours a day, and is spending more time with his wife and kids, the things that are really important to him.

Sometimes the worst things in our lives end up having the best outcomes, and that I do know from personal experience. Good luck with everything.

 

[Cheyenne]

Good luck to you, Gnome. I'll add you to my prayers, as I am sure many others on this board will do, too.

 

[Gnome]

Thanks everyone

Finally home, with a great scar, shaved head and much confusion. But it is getting better.

 

[Skibum]

I hope it all works out for you. I have some major lfe changes underway now as well. They are changes for the better, but they still have a lot of painful moments.

 

[Becca Btr N Btr]

Hi,
I am not even sure what to say here. I am not usually at a loss for words, but I am finding it hard now.

I had Brain Surgery Nov.10 1999. I had an Accoustic Neuroma Tumor removed. I found out I had had it growing for about half my life, in September 1999. I was stunned and bet I understand some of the things you are going through. I can tell you alot about that and more if you are interested.

January 30, 2000 My sister died at 48 after a year and a half battle of hell. Still, I was not ready or prepared for it, and I am still going through every emotion and thought there is on both subjects.

Tomorrow is my birthday 37th. Last year on my birthday was the last time I ever spoke to my sister. Can I just say...I have always had trouble with my birthday, but this one I wish more than I could say was over.

My e-Mail is DVKD@Hotmail.com If you would like to talk or have a pen pal, Please feel free to write to me.

I am not going to tell you it will get better, or say stupid things like hey, you are lucky to be alive. That much I can promise you. I am sorry. It sucks shit, I understand where you are comming from. I am here if you would like me to be. Rest, and feel whatever you do. It is normal, and exactly right for you at this time. ((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sincerely Becca.

 

[Guest]

 

[Alyrahh]

Hi Gnome, I'm so very glad to see things worked out well for you. I can, somewhat, relate to what you're going through. Three weeks ago my aunt had brain surgery, she too had a huge scar, and a shaved head (well, half of it was shaved, which I teased her horribly about hehe). She's now home, wearing a wig, and learning to deal with a few things that have changed due to the surgery.

My thoughts are with you, just remember to take what you've learned from your experience and apply it to your every day life. Lessons, though sometimes painful, are a gift.

 

[CW]

Things like what Gnome and Becca have been thru certianly serve as a wake up call. As Gnome said, there is certain sense of immunity that we all perceive applying to ourselves.

I wish, more than anything, that that was, or even could be, the case. It isn't.

At age 40 I suffered two right brain strokes, was admitted to the hospital, and popped off a third stroke while I was in ICU. ( No, no pity or I'm sorry, please,,, not even a how horrible. ) I spent 7 days in ICU and only remember the last 8 hours or so,,, and then spent 29 days on the Neuro. floor.


I had to relearn quite a bit, and due to my overwhelming oneriness and relative youth, I have made about a 90% recovery,,, I still have some little lingering problems,,, like I am without about 20% of my right brain,,, and medications are a daily way of life.

But I was as lucky as any one person could be,,, you see, I am alive and have another chance at life. And I have friends, like you folks here on the board, to share living with.

I have changed my out look on life,,, and I stop to notice and appreciate lots of things now that I skimmed over before.

The lesson,,, neither you nor I may be so lucky ever again. Seize the oppertunity to enjoy and appreciate life now,,, that does NOT mean be self centered and abusive,,, just enjoy it.

Gnome and Becca,,, my thoughts are with you, and countless others that have had major problems.

 

[Ezzy]

Carpe Diem...

Expresses the idea perfectly Seize the Day but I for one; have fallen back into the plodding on one day at a time.

I am sure I am not the only one to find myself falling back, away from the ideal of these words and the idea behind them.

Gnome I'm glad gyour ghome gnow.

That is not to say I dont take the time to enjoy life, but I am sure I could some how do more.


EZ http://cgi.tripod.com/smilecwm/cgi-bin/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[Ksss]

On November 25th of this year I will be celebrating my 10th birthday of overcoming death. It was not anything casued by a tumor or the like, but from viral meningitis. I almost lost my life because I hadn't found a doctor who could correctly identify what was wrong with me. I went for almost two weeks before my husband carried my limp body into the hospital emergency room. I lost 5 days of my life, never to be recaptured. The doctors came out to the waiting room and told my husband and children (then aged 10 and 12) they didn't think I would survive. But here I am 10 years later, alive and kicking (just not as high, LOL). I now live life as if is the last moment i have here on this place called earth, taking enjoyment in the best life has to offer. Laughing and smiling cause life is too short to let things get you down, and you never know when it will all stop. Good luck to you Gnome, my thoughts and prayers will be with you.

 

[teresafannin]

Hello Gnome, glad to hear from you & hope things go well for you. Keep us posted as to how you are doing, I will keep sending good thoughts your way.