SephStarr
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2007
- Posts
- 109
Okay, some backstory: my very first forays, as a child of about eleven, into thinking about sex were D/s scenes. Of course, I didn't know at the time that this was something that actually existed, so I just thought I was weird. I then went on to be, or so I thought, very vanilla and am really quite experienced when it comes to vanilla sex. Over the past six months or so, I've been having quite extreme fantasies that involve me as a sub, and exploring the same online, often with cybersex.
Last night, for the first time ever, I actually did some of this. And my God, it was *amazing*. P, who I was playing with, was fabulous-we'd not slept together before and don't even really know each other that well (he's a very close friend of a very close friend, and I bump into him at parties and clubs and the like), but he did know that this was the first time I'd ever done anything more adventurous during sex than the occasional blindfold and he was very gentle and caring and kind, made sure I was ok and knew what was going on, and didn't spring any surprises on me. I'm glad that the first time this happened it was with someone as experienced as him-I knew he knew what he was doing, and that was a great help.
One thing I noticed was that being bound as I was (cuffed, naked and spread-eagled, to the bed) was actually very liberating. I wasn't expecting that, as it seems rather counter-intuitive. Basically, what I think it was is that I had relinquished all control to him, so he could give me permission to do and think and say things that I'd usually be to embarrassed to.
I honestly didn't think I'd be too into much pain. But there I am, naked, bound and vulnerable, there's nothing whatsoever I can do and this bloke I hardly know is slapping me, gradually getting harder and harder, in my most intimate and private place. And actually, I'm loving it. I'm lying there moaning, not caring about how loud I'm getting or who can hear me. The next thing I know, we're sitting on the sofa chatting to the others this morning and I'm wondering if he's going to take me back to bed and beat me, hoping desperately that he will.
And god! The collar and chain! I love being taken from behind anyway, as much as being on my hands and knees naked does make me feel rather self-concious, and knowing that there was a collar around my neck and he had the other end of the chain in his hand was just amazing. I just kept thinking, “bloody hell-he has me by the throat!”-not something I'd ever expected to be a turn-on, but it really, really was.
All this taps in to basal desires I didn't know I had. I wanted to be chained to the bed on my hands and knees and beaten. I wanted him to pull back on the chain and prove to me that he had the control. I'm not entirely sure what I wanted, but I know I wanted it to take all control from me and I knew I wanted it to hurt. This is, in fact, all rather addictive. I'd do it again any second. The strain of the cuffs and the sound of the slap and the feel of the chain and...*gosh*.
So, yes. This is basically me mentally digesting what's just happened, and generally going 'SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' a lot. Loudly. Because, seriously. SQUEE.
Last night, for the first time ever, I actually did some of this. And my God, it was *amazing*. P, who I was playing with, was fabulous-we'd not slept together before and don't even really know each other that well (he's a very close friend of a very close friend, and I bump into him at parties and clubs and the like), but he did know that this was the first time I'd ever done anything more adventurous during sex than the occasional blindfold and he was very gentle and caring and kind, made sure I was ok and knew what was going on, and didn't spring any surprises on me. I'm glad that the first time this happened it was with someone as experienced as him-I knew he knew what he was doing, and that was a great help.
One thing I noticed was that being bound as I was (cuffed, naked and spread-eagled, to the bed) was actually very liberating. I wasn't expecting that, as it seems rather counter-intuitive. Basically, what I think it was is that I had relinquished all control to him, so he could give me permission to do and think and say things that I'd usually be to embarrassed to.
I honestly didn't think I'd be too into much pain. But there I am, naked, bound and vulnerable, there's nothing whatsoever I can do and this bloke I hardly know is slapping me, gradually getting harder and harder, in my most intimate and private place. And actually, I'm loving it. I'm lying there moaning, not caring about how loud I'm getting or who can hear me. The next thing I know, we're sitting on the sofa chatting to the others this morning and I'm wondering if he's going to take me back to bed and beat me, hoping desperately that he will.
And god! The collar and chain! I love being taken from behind anyway, as much as being on my hands and knees naked does make me feel rather self-concious, and knowing that there was a collar around my neck and he had the other end of the chain in his hand was just amazing. I just kept thinking, “bloody hell-he has me by the throat!”-not something I'd ever expected to be a turn-on, but it really, really was.
All this taps in to basal desires I didn't know I had. I wanted to be chained to the bed on my hands and knees and beaten. I wanted him to pull back on the chain and prove to me that he had the control. I'm not entirely sure what I wanted, but I know I wanted it to take all control from me and I knew I wanted it to hurt. This is, in fact, all rather addictive. I'd do it again any second. The strain of the cuffs and the sound of the slap and the feel of the chain and...*gosh*.
So, yes. This is basically me mentally digesting what's just happened, and generally going 'SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' a lot. Loudly. Because, seriously. SQUEE.
I am still being ridiculously overexcited about the whole thing. I suspect I may have been very lucky indeed in having P as a first top, and everything was just fabulous. And, of course, I can't wait till we can have another go! [grin]
