Letters

[honeylick]

Dear Honey:

i don't think anyone would ever say that about you.

with imagination,
Amelia

dear amelia,

imagination is good. imagine a warm tropical local, with a cabana-boy bringing us mojitos.

on the flip-side, i would pay top-dollar for a heating pad draped over my office chair.

wistfully wishing for warm weather,
honeylicker

 

[Liontamr]

Dearest Amelia,

Would it be safe to say you're raging against the machine?

As always,
LT

PS: What up!!!

PPS: Now can you dig that?!

 

[Saint Valentine]

Hey God,

I'm tired of getting kicked in the sack everytime I start to think I might actually be getting somewhere. I'm startin' to get a little tender down there.

With Annoyed High Pitched Voice,

 

[honeylick]

dear sv,

two words: protective cup.

works wonders.

kissy,
hl

 

[Saint Valentine]

dear sv,

two words: protective cup.

works wonders.

kissy,
hl

Dear Mizz Lick,

Those things are damned uncomfortable. I wouldn't expect you to know that though.

Felling A Li'l Better,

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Dear Boo,

I miss my hammock.

Tree's are no longer in my yard.

No water for my dreamscape.

I'm pretty sure I could jimmy it up.

I likey/love the hammock.

I hate this stupid futon.

Please send to me soon.

Boo

 

[honeylick]

Dear Mizz Lick,

Those things are damned uncomfortable. I wouldn't expect you to know that though.

Felling A Li'l Better,

dear missta felling,

cups can be hard. this i do know.

sincerely,
licker

 

[curious2c]

Dear Alaska State Trooper:

Hell yes I find it hard to believe that I was going that fast on this highway. It is only an S10 Blazer. Geez...94 in a 50...


Thanks for letting me know my tailight was not functioning also.

chastened curious2c

 

[amelia]

Dear Massage Lady:

If you want to rub my ass the for the whole time next month, that's ok with me.

Amelia

 

[txmassage]

dear amelia,

not only will i rub your ass, but may i please touch your pussy next time we meet? everytime i touch you i think about "accidently" brushing my hands across your.. yeah... . one of these days im just going to do it.

yours truly

your massage lady

 

[MercyMia]

Dear Sex Goddess,

I've been a good girl all year. Could I please have a couple of nights with him? I don't know who he is yet but I'm pretty sure you do.

Mia, the patient

 

[honeylick]

dear amelia's massage lady,

you are perverted.

very truly yours,
h'lick

 

[amelia]

Dear Math Teacher (well, ok..school people that plan finals):

You think you're so cool..planning my first final on a friday morning, but you're not. i'm not even scared. i'm going to go in there and kick that test's ass and than..if you're lucky, i might kick your ass a little too.

psyching myself up,
Amelia

 

[MercyMia]

Dear Cute Guy in the Supermarket,

I wasn't following you around but we seemed to cross paths in every single aisle. After a while, I even looked for you when I'd turn the corner. It's not because you're tall and handsome--tall and handsome is actually a turn off for me. It's your accent! Gah! Manglish in that laughing, playful tone of voice as you asked the stock clerk whether the almonds were from Australia or South America. Malay-English in that musical, up and down, self-mocking scale. I hope you didn't notice the funny way I walked by you-- my panties had fallen to the floor!


Mia

 

[amelia]

Dear Math Teacher (well, ok..school people that plan finals):

You think you're so cool..planning my first final on a friday morning, but you're not. i'm not even scared. i'm going to go in there and kick that test's ass and than..if you're lucky, i might kick your ass a little too.

psyching myself up,
Amelia

Dear Sir or Madame:

Told ya bitches!! Making an A made me so happy i might kick my mother RIGHT in the face!

Proud,
Amelia

 

[lobito]

Dear someone,

please help, I'm depressed...

Worthless in the Midwest

 

[WaxNWane]

Dear britches with brains,

Rock on.

Vacationally yours,
Methuselah

 

[amelia]

Dear britches with brains,

Rock on.

Vacationally yours,
Methuselah

Dear Methusela,

it's a long road..isn't it?

hugs,
Amelia

ps: if you don't know the bible or the methusela story..that won't be very funny...

 

[WaxNWane]

To: tweety on the britches
From: boy jorge

I'm feeling challenged. I know no stories, only catchy names. Here's to not having to get by on my brains.

 

[lobito]

Dear a certain someone,

Thanks for the talk.

Happier in the Midwest

 

[MercyMia]

Dear Dumpers of the World,

We, the designated dumpees for the time being, request that you follow certain guidelines when performing your dumping duties.

1. Use the golden rule. Dump us as you would have us dump you.
2. Remember that there were two of us in the relationship. Therefore, two of us will be involved in the break up.
3. Schedule at least one closure meeting (at the discretion of the dumpee) after the dumping event. This closure meeting will be mainly for the purpose of allowing the dumpee to say the things that he/she needs to say. You instigated the dumping and so had the privilege of closure at that time. We did not. We deserve equal closure rights.

Respectfully,

Mia, lobbyist for Dumpees for the Time Being

 

[bluemuse]

Dear disgusting, shirtless, skanky Winnabego driving guy,

Please do not call out to me through the fence when I am watching children on the playground. Please find someplace else to park your skanky Winnabego. Please just go away before I have to make you go away.

bluemuse

 

[MercyMia]

Dear TV producers,

Please...more substance in those 30 minute documentaries.

Groaning,
Mia

 

[Eumenides]

Dear one of you two,

Please come online.

Thank you very much for your prompt attention.

Hearts and goofy shit,

Eumenides

 

[red_rose]

The funny thing is the next in line thinks he is the last in line. Gonna get burned, but that is appropriate.

The above was posted - directed at me - earlier today.

Dear bookguy,

You were the one who walked away the first time. You were the one who came back. You were the one who pushed even when I said it would never work.

I wanted to believe you. I wanted to let go. But, in the end, it wasn't me that was the problem.

It was us.

You can't be that unsure for that long and not know that it isn't meant to be.

It wasn't meant to be.

Part of me wants to be so angry with you for being such a ridiculous asshole - calling me incessantly, posting vile remarks, etc - but I don't want to be angry.

You told me to fall. I've fallen.

Stop being so horribly two-faced - saying kind words to me directly and then being a shit on the boards.

I'm not the one for you. She is out there somewhere. But, here's the thing - you must stop hating the world. "The humans" that you speak of all the time - you're one of them!

And I agree with you when you say that you can't find love on a porn board/the internet/etc. I wasn't looking for it here.

I wasn't looking for it anywhere, anymore.

It found me.

I hope it finds you, too.

Sincerely,
Me