Letters

[perks]

Dear Detention guy,

Ms. Vessy is an excellent teacher to stay after with,

however, since I'm now the principal It would be untoward, to ogle her or her student,

I'm off to become a sex freak. Stuckyville will never be the same,

molly

 

[Pagliacci]

Mr. Vilac

I understand that you have,for reasons unknown and obscure,claimed that I call Her Perkiness misantrophic.
I wish by this letter to correct you on that note as it does nothing but creates misunderstandings and further work to rectify the situation.

I might call her "Ankunge" in private where even she can't hear me but that is not the point.

The point is there is no point.

The good word is simply "holmgång".

Sincerely:

P.

 

[Vilac]

Dear Molls,

I'd be happy to be sent to your office anytime. Just promise to verbally scold me before the corporal punishment begins.

Painfully yours,
Edward J. Stevens

 

[amelia]

V:

Dude, What's up with the square meat?

Triple or nothingly,

MaxP

Dear MaxP:

as sad as it may seem, i know the answer to this question. Their meat is square because "they don't cut corners on their meat".

Wendy's Rules!

looking for a red wig with braids,
Amelia

 

[zipman]

V:

Dude, What's up with the square meat?

Triple or nothingly,

MaxP

Dear Mr. MaxP,

The reason for the square hamburger is one of our favorite stories here at Wendy's. When originally asked by a reporter why the hamburgers were square, Dave Thomas answered "it's because we don't cut corners." This became one of the key market differentiators of the Wendy's hamburger to the rest of the fast food industry.

Sincerely yours,
Vice President of Public Relations,
Wendy's Inc.

 

[amelia]

Dear Zipman:

haha!! i beat you!!

gloatingingly yours,
Amelia

 

[Vilac]

Dear Mr. P,

I apologize for the misundstanding. Taking into consideration the large number of "pet names" and "call signs" that Perk-a-lama-ding-dong goes by, it is easy to see how I could have come up with the wrong "word" in question.

I can only further assume, being of such light mentality that I am, that "holmgång" is some type of "home version - gang bang". For that I applaud you, and wish you nothing but the best of luck and continued success with your Perkalicious conquests.

If you are in need of a accomplished cameraman, please accept my card.

Respectfully yours,
Steven Speilburg

 

[Vilac]

Dearest Wendy,

If you are indeed able to find such a red wig, and are willing....I would cover your body with chocolate frosty and upon donning my Dave Thomas mask, commence licking you from head to toe while your extremities slowly suffered frostbite.

Unless of course you'd prefer the baked potato method.

Please advise,
Mr. Thomas.

 

[zipman]

Dear Zipman:

haha!! i beat you!!

gloatingingly yours,
Amelia

Dear Miss Amelia,

While your speed with the keyboard is indeed impressive, I am somewhat surprised by the gloating tone of your post, especially considering the fact that this is the first time that we are posting to each other.

However, I am more than willing to overlook this slight faux pas due to the extremely erotic AV that you are currently using. The fact that you are absolutely charming also makes taking offense to your gloating to be next to impossible.

Of course, the trouble with gloating is that you never know when it can come back to haunt you. An example might be if perhaps you are a fan of one football team and I am a fan of another football team and those teams were going to be playing each other in a playoff game this Sunday, hypothetically speaking of course.

I look forward to engaging you in future conversations.

Respectfully yours,
Zipman7

 

[amelia]

Dear Zippy JETS fan:

i apologize for my gloating tone. I'm tooo competitive. gloating hurts.

With Respect,
Amelia


ps: i hope the raiders don't beat the jets toooo bad

 

[zipman]

Dear Zippy JETS fan:

i apologize for my gloating tone. I'm tooo competitive. gloating hurts.

With Respect,
Amelia


ps: i hope the raiders don't beat the jets toooo bad

Dear Miss Amelia,

I thank you kindly for your apology, but as I stated, taking offense to anything that you said would be virtually impossible due to your adorable nature.

With regard to the modern day gladiatorial event occuring on Sunday between our respective teams, I was wondering if you would care to make a small wager on the game.

Since you are so sure of your team beating mine, I think it would be only fair that if the Jets win, I get to spank that lovely ass of yours.

Competitively yours,
Zipman7

 

[amelia]

Dearest Wendy,

If you are indeed able to find such a red wig, and are willing....I would cover your body with chocolate frosty and upon donning my Dave Thomas mask, commence licking you from head to toe while your extremities slowly suffered frostbite.

Unless of course you'd prefer the baked potato method.

Please advise,
Mr. Thomas.

Dear Mr. Thomas:

I would rather you just put the creamy cold frosty on my nipples. the pain is wonderful..not that i've done that before or anything.

Eat Great, Even Late!
Wendy

 

[Vilac]

Dear Mr. Thomas:

I would rather you just put the creamy cold frosty on my nipples. the pain is wonderful..not that i've done that before or anything.

Eat Great, Even Late!
Wendy

Dear Wendy,

I'm sorry, but to make the fantasy complete it will require not only the red wig, but either a dye job down below or a complete shave job...both of which I'd be more than happy to assist with.

Then...frosty covered nipples coming right up.

Btw...please make sure the wig is attached well since I'll be using the pigtails as something to hold onto while I'm behind you.

Who's your Daddy?
Dave

 

[aly*]

Dear Ass Of Amelia's Av,
You are distracting me, but (heh) I like it! I like it a whooole bunch.

Nice!
Random Pervert

 

[Vilac]

Dear Ass Of Amelia's Av,
You are distracting me, but (heh) I like it! I like it a whooole bunch.

Nice!
Random Pervert

Dear "Aly-with-the-star-by-her-name"

I do believe that is her intent...to distract us.

In fact, the last time I gazed onto the ass my wallet wound up missing. Hang on to your valuables.

Cautiously,
V~

 

[amelia]

To: Dave
From: Wendy's Headquarters
Subject: Lewd Comments regarding "wendy"

Your behaviour is deplorable. As stated in the restraining order, you are not allowed to refer to "wendy's" carpet, pig tails or ask her to refer to you as her "daddy"

Thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

Wendy's Legal Team (WiLT)

 

[Pagliacci]

To: Dave
From: Wendy's Headquarters
Subject: Lewd Comments regarding "wendy"

Your behaviour is deplorable. As stated in the restraining order, you are not allowed to refer to "wendy's" carpet, pig tails or ask her to refer to you as her "daddy"

Thank you in advance for your cooperation in this matter.

Wendy's Legal Team (WiLT)

Dear Wnedys legal team.

I'm wondering what it would take to be allowed to Wendys carpet and pigtails ?
If you have the time to also inform me what it would take to even be encouraged by Wendy to take excessive interest in aforementioned parts of her as wel as those shown in the AV I'd be more than grateful.

Yours leeringly:

Perving in public parks for now.

 

[Vilac]

To: W.I.L.T.
Re: My behaviour
Subject: Sue Me!

I'm dead! Deal with it! I can run around with french fries sticking out every orifice and chant "Wendy is a dirty little slutttttttt" and you guys can't do a thing about it.

In the meantime, have a 4 piece Chicken Nugget. It's only 99 cents on my Value Menu.

Enjoy!
Dave

 

[aly*]

Dear "Aly-with-the-star-by-her-name"

I do believe that is her intent...to distract us.

In fact, the last time I gazed onto the ass my wallet wound up missing. Hang on to your valuables.

Cautiously,
V~

Dear Silly Av Haver (lol),
I can barely reply as the ass has me mesmerized. Thanks for the warning, but valuables shmaluables! I'm a sucker for a purty girl with a HOT ass av.

Take the money and run,
Pleasently Distracted

 

[Lasz]

Dear Bobby Knight

Please do something stupid so I can laugh at you. I want to see you get kicked out of a basketball game or something. I miss those days.

Laz

 

[kidthor]

To Whom It May Concern: ( Read: Anyone or Anything Currently Annoying Me )


I have had it up to here. People dying, people calling, people judging, people taking for granted, confused people, mean people, sneaky people, sprinklers, paint jobs, fucked up computers, cable tv, writers block, parents, money, ideals, morals, shame, guilt, love, band, friends, Maine, West Virginia, California, work, winter, the future, the past, desire, apathy, self loathing, self deprication, fear, debt, etc. etc. etfuckingcetera!

Can some of you just try and work together to make my life tolerable for once?

Not Holding My Breath,
~KID~

 

[Minkey Boodle]

Dear Legs,

While I love ya and I take care of ya as best I can, I'm sick and tired of this hair. I'll be your best friend and stop torturing y'all with the Mach 12 if you'll cease and desist with the hair growing.

With razor in hand,
Minkey Boo

 

[amelia]

Dear SLG:

i think we should have another...ummmm...hmm...what should be call it? anyway, you know what i mean!

See ya under the bleachers after midnight

Here's to letting the sinning begin again,
Amelia

 

[superlittlegirl]

Dear Amelia:

You bring the duct tape; I'll bring the twine!


Freya

Dear SLG:

i think we should have another...ummmm...hmm...what should be call it? anyway, you know what i mean!

See ya under the bleachers after midnight

Here's to letting the sinning begin again,
Amelia

 

[amelia]

Dear Amelia:

You bring the duct tape; I'll bring the twine!


Freya

Dear Silly Freya:

It can't be exactly like last time! I'll bring the marshmellow cream and you bring the nipple clamps. Deal?

Anticipatorally yours,
Amelia