Letters

[Oscuridad]

Dear Perky,

Have put the batteries through the mail slot. Had to dash off to make more deliveries.

The long hard item would not fit. But then what do you expect asking for something so large as six feet of PVC pipe.

Yours with something somewhat smaller than the pipe but no less hard,

- O

 

[DarkAngel]

Dear O,

Before I return the pictures, I would like my green dress back!

DA

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear DA,

Umm, it got kind of... stained on that trip to the white house.

Oh wait, wrong dress.

Nevermind,

- O

 

[DarkAngel]

Dear O,

I think we hijacked another thread...

DA

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear DA,

Edited to say that we never do that sort of thing ever.

- O

 

[DarkAngel]

Dear O,

You are right we never would...

Care to poka tomorrow at noon?

DA

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear DA,

I might if I had the slightest clue what a "poka" was.

- O

 

[Rubyfruit]

Dear Children,

Please stop getting sick. Mommy is supposed to be holding down a job.

Lovingly,

Mommy

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear Mommy,

Sorry to hear the children are unwell.

Can I clean something while you rest and then take you in a wild abandoned and positively feral fashion later?

Love,

- Daddy

 

[Nora]

Dearest Rubyfruit,

You ditch the kids. I'll ditch the hubby. We'll run away to a place where the nights are long and the sheets are soft.

I'll bring my food processor. You bring your cookbooks. We'll have a wonderful time.

Lustfully yours,

Nora.

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear Nora,

I am completely unsuprised that you steal her royal fruityness right out from under me.

Spank you very much,

- O

 

[Nora]

Dear Nora,

I am completely unsuprised that you steal her royal fruityness right out from under me.

Spank you very much,

- O

Dear Obscuridad,

Who was it who taught you to appropriate revere the Divine Ms R to begin with, little boy? Hmmmm???

In HER name,

Nora.

 

[Oscuridad]

Dear Nora,

Stingie.

I forgot because you aren't wearing your mitre today.

Yours in obsequious contemplation,

- O

 

[Nora]

Dear Nora,

Stingie.

I forgot because you aren't wearing your mitre today.

Yours in obsequious contemplation,

- O

Dear Obscuridad,

We'll let you slide this time. And yes, I'm greedy as hell. *grins*

And my mitre didn't match my jammies, so I left it off.

Yours in worship,

Nora.

 

[WaxNWane]

Dear Elliot Smith,

You are god today. The only CDs I've listened to are yours (aside from that one Beck song...and he meant nothing to me, I swear). If the Smiths were a singer/songwriter from Boston, they'd be you. Keep up the good work.

Yours in christ,
Daddy

 

[Nora]

Dear Wax & Wane,

Help! Burgler type people broke in and tied me to my computer chair! Then they smashed all of my Split Enz LPs and ransacked my meager wardrobe! Please bring me an emergency can of Vienna sausages, ASAP!

Yours in duct tape,

Nora.

 

[WaxNWane]

Dearest No-rah No-rah No-rah No-ray-aye (name that song and impress me),

Duct tape? Those amateurs! Texas ettiquite dictates that one use non-chafing nylon rope for all accostings of accostees. Remember, when they break the epilady out, scream like you just woke up next to Nipsy Russell.

And you didn't need albums by that hair band, anyway. Not that anyone's a bigger Crowded House fan than my sassy britches.

The emergency can of Vienna sausages is the one with the spam wafer floating on top, right? You couldn't sedate me enough to touch that stuff, sorry.

Rocking the casbah,
Dexy

 

[Nora]

Dearest Mizzzz Sassy Britches,

I'm afraid I'm doomed to disappoint you musically yet again, for I cannot name that tune.

Nipsy Russell is a site to behold first thing in the morning, although the rhyming of "morning wood" and "want some food?" leaves a lot to be desired. It's still better than the epilady.

And the Vienna sausages weren't meant as a food product, silly! The jell in the can acts as a lubricant in removing the duct tape. Sheeeeeesh! I thought everyone knew that! Who the hell EATS Vienna sausages??

Yours 'til the tape comes unstuck,

Nora.

 

[Eumenides]

Dear Yahoo,

I've asked nicely, I've kicked the CPU, I've even cursed under my breath, out of respect for you! Please work with me.

Yours until you open and then some,
EU

 

[Shaq]

Dear Nice Older Man,


I never properly thanked you for all your help last year. You have no idea how much your assistance and civility had done for me. I will admit it. I did not know how to read street signs or navigate whatsoever. I was utterly lost. Then I met you by the statue. And I said "Sir, could you please tell me how to get to first street?" And you were nice enough to explain that I was on West 1400 block and If I went East 14 I would get to First street.

I like kind people. People like you inspire me.


Thank you.

Sincerely,

Me.

 

[Vilac]

Dear Ms. Veternarian,

I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mind so much when you scheduled my pup's visit for 8 days after my phonecall. I can handle that.

But now that you're "off duty" due to your accident...I just want you to know that you got what you deserved!

Hysterically yours,
V~

<P.S. - she fell from a tree, broke both legs and an ankle> Heh. That'll teach her to make me wait. Bad karma. lol

 

[Eumenides]

Dear Magazines,

Please stop seducing me with sexy covers. My pocketbook is screaming from the cost. In the future, please commence with photographs of Oprah, Rosie, and Phil.

Your Addict,
Eu

 

[Jim_Henson]

Dear Eu

You cool, I like you. You ran away the other day but its Ok, I guess you are that way.

Another time you'll stay?

Me

 

[Vilac]

Dear Jim,

Just do what I do: I wait for Eume to get drunk to the point that she's incapable of running away.

She's particularly entertaining that way.

All the best,
V~

 

[Eumenides]

Dear Eu

You cool, I like you. You ran away the other day but its Ok, I guess you are that way.

Another time you'll stay?

Me

Dear Me,

Another time, I'll stay, but I don't know where.

Eu