Letters

[Minkey Boodle]

Dear, Sweet Bedroom,

I know that all my shoes and my clothes are a lot to handle, along with all my pez dispensers, action figures, stuffed creatures, CD's and pillows, but do you think you could tidy yourself up a bit? The prospect of me doing this for myself skurrs me to no end. The Spongebob clock doesn't even have a place to sit and the Nervous System chart is falling off the wall. I appreciate your effort in trying to drive me insane, but I won't fall victim to your trickeration.

I've got to fo go make someone a birthday dinner, but when I get back, I want you all cleand up.

Thanks for your prompt response.

Your liver-inner,
Minks

 

[amelia]

Dear Owner of the Spank Me Av,

GOD DAMN is that av hot! Thanks. I so want to give a spanking right now.

Smackingly yours,
~KID~

Dear Mr. Thor:

Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying my AV. I like it a lot too!

Wanting Pink Cheeks,
Amelia

 

[kidthor]

Dear Mr. Thor:

Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying my AV. I like it a lot too!

Wanting Pink Cheeks,
Amelia

Dear Wanting Pink Cheeks,

Should you ever decide to change the av, and I sincerely hope you won't, please be sure to save me a copy of that pic as I do not wish to part with that lovely image. Thank you in advance.

Thinking of Spanking You,
~KID~

 

[Nora]

Dear No-rah:

Sorry to hear. In the interest of delivering kicks squarely to the nuts of those responsible, I cordially invite you to join my Fuck the Man (and in the good way) club.

Sincerely,
El Tigre Numero Uno

Dear Tigre Dolce,

Thanks. I appreciate the offer. I think I'd rather Fuck the Man in a really bad way, though.

Warmest regards,

No-rah-rah.

 

[Eumenides]

Dear Margaritas

I heart you.

Muchly.

Yours till sobriety,

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

[Minkey Boodle]

Hey! Room!

This is the last time I will correspond on this manner. If you don't tidy up now, I'll be forced to thrash you.

Yes Ma'am!

-The Boodle

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

Dear Toy Story Action Figures,

Please make your way to Minks place get the place cleaned up while she's away. It would be such a nice surprise for her to find everything clean and organized when she gets back.

- Boodles Buddy

 

[perks]

Sugahduck,

You make me hot. I wanna rub my <censored> all over your <censored> and then grab your head and push my <censored> all up against your tongue.

sincerely,
bella


oh yeah, and I know I'm that good, off-colours and all.

 

[theGatsby]

To Whom It May Concern,

I fell in love with her from the moment I saw her. The depth of feeling in her eyes, the brightness of her smile captured me. The feel of her arms around me pulled at my heart. She has released me into a world of love. She is my perfect fit. She is my future, my hope. She is Raindancer.

Sincerely,
theGatsby

 

[perks]

Dear bedilia,

I'm about to go make cookies. Are you busy? Wanna keep me company?

ruffles

 

[kidthor]

Dear God,

Why?

Anxiously Awaiting An Answer,
~KID~

P.S. THis is an essay question. "Just because," will simply not do.

 

[amelia]

Dear bedilia,

I'm about to go make cookies. Are you busy? Wanna keep me company?

ruffles

Dear Ruffles:

am i to late? i'd love to keep you company!

anticipatingly yours,
bedilia

 

[perks]

bedilia,

nope. I was waiting on your reply.

lurve,

ruffles

PS. pming you

 

[Saint Peter]

Dear perky and amelia

Lance said cookies are bad for you.

Giver of friendly and helpful advise,
SaintPeter

 

[amelia]

Dear Petey Pot Pie:

you just want our cookies. and you can have them!


psych yo' mind!

cold and evily yours,
amelia

 

[Guest]

Dear Letter Thread,

*Thump*

I've fallen and I can't get up.

I need that life alert thingy or a sweet housegirl.

Sincerely,

drip drop ya don't stop I think I lost my mind and mop

 

[amelia]

Dear Parents:

I love you very much. All three of you. But you make it very difficult for me to respect you very much. If you did not want to have children, why did you? It's punishing and heartbreaking to know that i'm completely on my own. I don't think that's very fair. Why are your needs always more important than mine?

questioningly yours,
Amelia

 

[Lasz]

Re: Dear Ohio State Buckeyes

Please beat Miami in Tempe. I really want to see them lose. They dont deserve to win. Plus I want to see the Big Ten win the national championship.

Love

Laz

I think someone heard me. And gave me a double overtime heart attack in the process!

 

[Lasz]

Dear Kevin Costner

Please make a decent movie again. You made many good movies many years ago, but in the last 6 years your movies have sucked. Please make a good movie, I know you can do it.

Laz

 

[Lasz]

Dear Payroll people at work

Please send me my paycheck. I have been working for 3 weeks and havent seen any money yet. I am a poor college student, I thought you would of realized this when you hired me as a "intern". So please dont skip me in the pay cycle again.

Laz

 

[Nora]

Dear George,

I love you, my sweet little kitten, but if you don't remove your claws from my breasticle tissue I'm going to have you shaved and declawed.

With love,

Your wincing mamma.

 

[Eumenides]

Dear Director,

While you are fabulous at what you do, please keep in mind that some of us have to get up at five in the frickin' morning, k?

Much appreciated,

Myrtle Mae for 3 Weeks

 

[Eumenides]

Dearest Noramama,

I do apologize for the marks I have left, but you do know that I am a boy cat, and even boy cats are obsessed with boobies. Mkay?

Purringly Yours,
Jorge of the Jungle

 

[Nora]

Mi hijo Jorge,

Si, yo comprendo, pero NO! BAD GATO!

Love,

Mom.

 

[Saint Peter]

Dearest Amelia

I am so sorry I shot out of your nose. Do not talk anymore with that evil SaintPeter. He is trouble.

Sincerly yours
Chocolate Milk