Let's Talk About... Popularity!

[Wild_Honey_66]

Part of the 'Let's Talk About' series. Because discussion is a good thing*.




1. How do you define popularity?

2. Is it inherently bad?

3. Do you see yourself as popular? Do you think others do?

4. Do you desire popularity?


That should be enough to get this party started.






*Everyone is encouraged to join in, just please play nice or I will alert the Glitter Squad.

 

[Leigh81]

I'm not about popularity on here or in RL. It's just not in me to play the popular game. What you see is what you get. I'm more about success, being successful in RL. I'm driven, work hard to reach my goals. Popularity doesn't build bank accounts.
Being popular in the business world doesn't work.

L

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Tiamo15]

I'm not about popularity on here or in RL. It's just not in me to play the popular game. What you see is what you get. I'm more about success, being successful in RL. I'm driven, work hard to reach my goals. Popularity doesn't build bank accounts.
Being popular in the business world doesn't work.

L

I don't play the popular game either. I will be sure to let the individual people know that I dig them through a sweet pm, but would rather not encourage popularity threads where everyone lists the same 20 people and those not listed get hurt.

I focus more on who might be interesting to get to know and then I take it to a closer friend level.

 

[Violetvixen1]

My take on popularity? It's a high school mentality. I'd much prefer deep meaningful relationships both friend and otherwise, to surface popularity. I've never been one to follow the crowd, or bother to want to lead it either. I am myself, take it or leave it. Do I think I'm popular? Nah. Do I care? Not in the least.

 

[Amalgamation]

I've been popular here before. I've been invisible here as well. I don't want to be known by the masses. I'd rather just move through the boards with no fuss, but also be known by a few close people.

 

[John_Q_Public]

1. How do you define popularity?

Being viewed positively by many people. There are varying levels and degrees of popularity.

2. Is it inherently bad?

Popularity is not inherently bad. We as humans desire the attention and approval of our peers, whether we choose to admit it or not. Popularity creates indirect influence and leadership. If used properly, we can create a sense of community and welcoming.

However; misuse of the influence it's leadership provides can cause tension. Often times, people use it to manipulate and for coercion. In a similar way, jealous people my seek to hurt, discredit or take another's indirect authority through slander or other means.

That is where popularity get is bad reputation. Unfortunately, it happens pretty often, however; and ironically, more good comes from popularity than bad.

3. Do you see yourself as popular? Do you think others do?


Me? Hardly.

4. Do you desire popularity?

If we were all honest, we'd all say yes to that question.

Honestly, more than “popularity” in the sense of being one of the “cool kids,” I would prefer credibility (which, someone could make the argument. is a form of popularity).

 

[John_Q_Public]

May I please have some glitter despite playing nicely?

Edit: there are some threads I cannot play in in the playground because of my relationship boundaries. I think this makes it hard to meet new people here. . I also think that because a lot of people do seem to be focused on some of the negative results of popularity or their feelings about it in can feel a little off putting. I know from speaking to others I am not the only one who feels this. Personally I expect cliques to form on boards and think it's natural and normal and sweet, but I don't interest myself in infighting or see it as welcoming.

This is honest and I appreciate that.

Thank you for being vulnerable.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

What a fabulous way to start off a thread about a sensitive subject.

Thank you all so much.

 

[GlitterTaco]

popularity, as in "everyone wants to dress like me"? or as in "I gave the most BJs in high school"?

 

[ydahecnot]

Care to accompany me to the parking lot, Glitter?

Anyhoo, message boards will always have a cool kids group, though it is often fluid. That group here now is mostly different from the one that was here when I started posting in the PG about 2 1/2 years ago. People cut back or just plain leave. I think being someone you like is more important than being someone everyone likes.

 

[RockyRoll]

In my mind, popularity is about quantity. As I've gotten older, I have found myself much less concerned about it. I wish I'd have cared less about it when I was younger, but I suppose that's part of the wisdom that accompanies age.

 

[FelicityJohns]

John Q. has the best definition of the work, IMO.

No, it isn't inherently bad. It is misused. And sometimes misunderstood, which is when feelings get hurt. Sometimes it's intentional, sometimes not.

No, I don't consider myself popular, nor do I desire to be. I'm happy with those I choose to keep close seeing me for who I am, good or bad. I'd much rather give five individuals my undivided interest and attention than to have 500 know my name and birthday... (although, if those 500 then wanted to buy a book, huzzah! )

I'm at heart an anti-social person working to be a social person. The first usually wins in the end Friendship takes effort, and I devote my effort to my friends.

I'm also an empath. Therefore being a part of any clique where the possiblity exists of excluding or hurting the feelings of others poses me pain. I would much rather sit with the hurting than laugh with the group.

Thank you, Honey, for a great thread

 

[Girly_girl]

I'd much rather be well liked than popular, I am one of those people who gets along with everyone. I would never hurt someone to make myself feel better about myself or fit in. I'd also rather have a handful of true friends then a bunch of fake ones, here on lit I have a few people on here that I do feel close to and consider friends.

 

[MSH2]

I'd much rather be well liked than popular, I am one of those people who gets along with everyone. I would never hurt someone to make myself feel better about myself or fit in. I'd also rather have a handful of true friends then a bunch of fake ones, here on lit I have a few people on here that I do feel close to and consider friends.

I'd much rather be me. I frankly have better things to do than try stroke enough egos to be popular. Some people dont like me, some people do. I;ve learnt to live with that

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'd much rather be me. I frankly have better things to do than try stroke enough egos to be popular. Some people dont like me, some people do. I;ve learnt to live with that

If only you weren't so darned difficult to get along with, Tater.

 

[MSH2]

If only you weren't so darned difficult to get along with, Tater.

I know, its a gift

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

The following was sent to me via PM and I was given permission to share it with you all.

1. How do you define popularity?
Popularity to me is being looked upon in a positive way. A person that says what he means and means what he says. Somebody you can count on in times of need.*


2. Is it inherently bad?
Not at all. Being truly popular means you've earned it by being a good person.*

3. Do you see yourself as popular? Do you think others do?
I'm popular with the people that know me and that's what matters.*

4. Do you desire popularity?*
Here is how I'd answer this. Growing up I always wanted to be an EMT. I liked that they were the 1st responders in an emergency and then passed the injured on to the doctors to do their thing. They were the unspoken hero. I liked that as I could help and then be on my way without all the fuss.*
Then I found out how little they get paid and that ended. Haha.*
People equate popularity with the "cool" kid. I don't think like the "masses" but I do believe that most people want to be liked and respected.

 

[Porkwarrior]

I'd rather be well liked by half a dozen people I enjoy spending my time with than 6 million Instagram/Facebook/Youtube followers.

Popularity comes with a price, you end up an actor/actress playing a role more than following your gut.
I pity popular folk more than I want to be one. Unless they're cunts, then I just piss in their Corvette at a party when they leave the roof down.

 

[janeyl]

Popularity on lit is much like it is in real life temporary, fleeting and ultimately illusory...chasing it is like chasing the end of a rainbow...you think it's within your grasp then it slips through your fingers and disappears...

You're only as popular as your ability to sustain it and if you don't have the attention span to keep stoking the fires of your own lit persona another set of cool kids will eventually burn brighter than your fading coals...

Always hated popularity threads where people get upset if they're looked over and don't get involved in them at all...they're crass and exclusive and seem to bring out the worst of people in the end. Its it's almost like the ones who are offended and hurt get as much out of being offended as those who are iincluded get out of being included. I thought they'd gone out of fashion but it appears they're back...shame...but then I suppose it isn't called the playground for nothing...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Popularity on lit is much like it is in real life temporary, fleeting and ultimately illusory...chasing it is like chasing the end of a rainbow...you think it's within your grasp then it slips through your fingers and disappears...

You're only as popular as your ability to sustain it and if you don't have the attention span to keep stoking the fires of your own lit persona another set of cool kids will eventually burn brighter than your fading coals...

Always hated popularity threads where people get upset if they're looked over and don't get involved in them at all...they're crass and exclusive and seem to bring out the worst of people in the end. Its it's almost like the ones who are offended and hurt get as much out of being offended as those who are iincluded get out of being included. I thought they'd gone out of fashion but it appears they're back...shame...but then I suppose it isn't called the playground for nothing...

I always appreciate your input, janey, thank you.

Totally agree with your first two paragraphs. The third gives food for thought. I never intend for my threads to be 'crass and exclusive,' or to offend anyone. Quite the contrary. But if that's how they're seen, then a change is in order.

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Popularity is fickle and subject to change. I want to be me an be accepted as me. I try to just let others be who they are and love them for that.

 

[Leigh81]

I'd rather be well liked by half a dozen people I enjoy spending my time with than 6 million Instagram/Facebook/Youtube followers.

Popularity comes with a price, you end up an actor/actress playing a role more than following your gut.
I pity popular folk more than I want to be one. Unless they're cunts, then I just piss in their Corvette at a party when they leave the roof down.

Thank god you said Corvettes, you wouldn't with my top down would you??
I was on Facebook about 6ish years ago for 4 months. I couldn't take it. Won't do Instagram or Twitter. Lit is it for me.

L

 

[janeyl]

I always appreciate your input, janey, thank you.

Totally agree with your first two paragraphs. The third gives food for thought. I never intend for my threads to be 'crass and exclusive,' or to offend anyone. Quite the contrary. But if that's how they're seen, then a change is in order.

Honey.this is my opinion and I don't claim to speak for anyone else. This also wasn't intended as a dig at you. I am just speaking from my own experience and observations over way too many years at lit to mention. Despite the often good intentions of the OP I have never seen them end well for many reasons not least because some people have used them to bully people by exclusion through them. Instead of making people feel good which I'm sure was your intention they ended up damaging what can already be low self esteem. I haven't read your thread. Perhaps this one will be different. After all, different group of people...different time.

 

[Girly_girl]

I'd much rather be me. I frankly have better things to do than try stroke enough egos to be popular. Some people dont like me, some people do. I;ve learnt to live with that

Ummm, I don't stroke anyone's ego, here or in real life.