Lesbian love and pronouns

[TheEarl]

And why I hate both in the 3rd person. I'm rewriting an old story and it includes a change from 1st person to 3rd. Unfortunately the story includes a lesbian love scene and I'm getting drowned in the pronouns. I don't want to reuse the two protagonist's names constantly, but too many pronouns gets confusing and there are only so many synonyms for people.

Any help?

The Earl

 

[Whispersecret]

When you're writing a scene with two people of the same sex, or three or more people, you can't get around using the names, unless you have other ways of identifying them. Sometimes you can use their professions (the priest), or nicknames, or if you're writing incest, family roles (her dad.) Better to over-use the names than to confuse the reader.

If you choose a POV and stick to it, you might be able to get away with using her/she.

No matter how you slice it, you have a challenge. As I'm sure you already know, writing is hard work!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

You only feel like you're getting lost in the pronouns, because you're the one writing them. Believe me, the reader will sail right by them. Just make sure the proper "He" follows the proper "Name".

 

[NoJo]

I had the same problem in my lesbian romance story. I had to continually re-edit stuff like "she licked her nipple until she moaned with delight, while she reciprocated by sucking her big toe." Things got worse when they started to play "Twister".

 

[lizthewizz2000]

Why change the POV to begin with? If the story makes more sense for you in the 1st person, stick with that! The only other tip would be to really adequately describe the two lovers in the opening part of the story so that later you can use phrases such as "the shy blond began to tentatively taste her lover's unshaved pussy lips".

Not to mention that you can use names in a not-so-annoying way. For instance in the example above, the narrator could say, "Liz licked her lover's nipple and heard her moan with delight. Meanwhile, Cassie decided to return the favor and began to suck on Liz's toes."

Hmmm...what are those ladies, contortionists? lol