Lesbian is proving more difficult than I thought.

[Rob_Royale]

I've done women with women before, but always in a minor way, in a group sex setting. I'm writing my first purely lesbian scene now and it's harder than I thought. With man/woman, you have he/she and him/her to keep you from filling the page with their names. But when it's two women, that is a lot harder.

I've tried breaking it up by using things like. "Maria stroked the lovely blonde's face and then leaned in to kiss her trembling lips." But you can't do that too much or it becomes obvious what your doing and kills the flow of the story.

I've read a few lesbian stories to see what those authors did and it seems they had the same trouble. Advice?

 

[Cagivagurl]

Depends on the perspective.
If it's first person it's easy. She said, I said.
More difficult in third...

 

[Bramblethorn]

First-person narration can help, so can using people's names. But my best advice is to focus on giving each character a distinct personality and a distinct role in the scene, so it's clear from context who's doing what.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Depends on the perspective.
If it's first person it's easy. She said, I said.
More difficult in third...

A lot more fun from a first person POV than from third person, too.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Well you know, three's a crowd unless you all naked.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Depends on the perspective.
If it's first person it's easy. She said, I said.
More difficult in third...

A lot more fun from a first person POV than from third person, too.

That makes perfect sense but sadly this is a part 2 to a story with an ensemble cast. It's in third person.

 

[StillStunned]

Do the characters have enough distinguishing features to set them apart? Could you refer to one's "soft, white flesh" as opposed to the other's "smooth bronze skin"? "Neatly trimmed pussy" versus "shaven"? "Calloused fingers" to distinguish them from "soft palms"?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I know exactly what you mean. Experience helps though. If there is any noticeable age difference, you could use older woman, younger woman. Noticeable height difference can help too. You can use practically anything that helps to break the monotony of names, since using "she" won't be very helpful.

 

[OffNSFW]

Your readers can accept more repetition than you'd think. Writers have the worst anxiety about this! But think about how many times you read "he said" "she said" "I said" "they said" in a story without even noticing.

When in doubt, use names. If you read over it and it feels awkward, see if a pronoun fixes it or makes it worse. Go with the least worst option.

 

[Bamagan]

You could also try adding more dialogue, especially if the characters have different speech mannerisms. They can quasi-narrate some of the action for you.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Names are great. Especially ones that can be shortened. It's usually the best option. Referring to 'the blonde' or 'the brunette' sounds at best like a Raymond Chandler novel and at worst like fanfic generated by young teenagers. Other nouns are often better, like 'she stroked her lover/partner/friend's hair'.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Do the characters have enough distinguishing features to set them apart? Could you refer to one's "soft, white flesh" as opposed to the other's "smooth bronze skin"? "Neatly trimmed pussy" versus "shaven"? "Calloused fingers" to distinguish them from "soft palms"?

Yes and I am using those things. But again it gets repetitive.

 

[TheLobster]

Vary the sentence structure to make the actors implicit so that you don't have to use pronouns at all.

She heard strained gasps and moans as her fingers touched the pink lips of her pussy.
A shiver ran down her spine when she felt the slender fingers twirl her nipples.

Don't overdo it, of course, since it runs a risk making the scene feel disembodied or veer into IKEA erotica. But it's a good technique to use in a pinch, I found, even in hetero encounters (esp. with male actor; the "strong hands" are practically a cliche).

 

[Areala-chan]

Positioning can be helpful for description as well, allowing your characters to move and shift throughout a scene to constantly re-create focal points for the audience the way the director does with a camera. Combine that with the use of characteristics (hair color, skin tone, voice type, body part or parts each character might have a certain attraction to and desire to focus on, who is taking a more dominant role at the moment) and you can create whole scenes where the occasional use of a name is all the reader needs to know exactly who is doing what to whom.

 

[THBGato]

Depends on the perspective.
If it's first person it's easy. She said, I said.
More difficult in third...

Yeah. I think this is why I've only written two story sections in 3rd person. Though one of those was basically all sex scene (a rarity for me). https://literotica.com/s/love-is-a-place-ch-03-the-outcome

Looking over it, I just used their names a lot. I don't think it made it awkward.

E.g. Sliding her right hand under her own chin, Samantha smoothly slipped her index and forefinger inside the gasping, writhing, dark haired girl now clutching the sheets and rapidly reaching the tipping point. The entry pushed that moment ever closer for Sarah; all that was really holding her back was her residual guilt and fear that Samantha would fold and freak out at such physical intimacy. In her distracted mind it seemed impossible to her that the girl who had been almost child-like in her innocence just two weeks before could now be content caressing her clit with her tongue. What Samantha did next finally blew these concerns away.

 

[AwkwardMD]

I've never really found this to be an issue. It's definitely something I have to wrangle with, to make it clear who is doing what, but i wouldn't say it slows me down to any significant degree. If I've got some secret technique that sorts this out I don't know what it is, and I'm doing it subconsciously.

EDIT: or perhaps my bar for what counts as 'too much repetition' is very high.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

That makes perfect sense but sadly this is a part 2 to a story with an ensemble cast. It's in third person.

Um, yeah... I was kind of implying an extrapolation of the idea into IRL...

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm sorry, but the title of this thread keeps making me laugh. I keep thinking, "What did you expect, Rob? It's not like she's on your team."

 

[HeyAll]

As someone who writes a lot of lesbian, I can empathize. Using she/her/she/her can make it confusing if you're writing in 3rd person.

For lesbian, I write 1st person, makes it so much easier.

But I don't write things like "my pussy" or anything like that, I work around that. I just say I'm getting oral, or talk about the feeling, etc... Nothing too specific. Focus more on the other woman.

 

[Cindy027]

I have no idea how you are trying to write it but I would think you can use names. When the one characters name is used then it would follow that she becomes she/her in the story until you want focus on the other character. The other character is then named and then she becomes she/her in the story and so on. Or you could use italics for the one character

Sorry didn't read most of above, so it may have been said already.

 

[OffNSFW]

I'm sorry, but the title of this thread keeps making me laugh. I keep thinking, "What did you expect, Rob? It's not like she's on your team."

Know what's even more difficult than lesbian? Lesbians.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Just for shits and giggles, do a sex scene between two nameless women and see how that works out.

 

[MillieDynamite]

She kissed her. Kissed her with such passion, the kind of kiss she’d only dreamed of. Tongues tangled, clits bumped and ground, tits banged and mashed together, to the beat of You Ain’t Nottin’ but Hound Dog.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

I usually give my female at characters at least 3 identifiers:

1. Name
2. Job
3. Appearance

For example, in my Planet CMNF stories I have long lesbian scenes between Jane (the pale anthropologist) and Gita (the dark-skinned security officer). Jane is also skinny and flat-chested, while Gita is a busty Amazon. That way I have lots of different ways to identify who is doing what to whom.

Another challenge with writing lesbian love scenes is how to end them.

Ejaculation is such a versatile and definitive finale. Girl orgasms don’t pack the same dramatic punch unless you make them wildly exaggerated … .

 

[Melody_Lightdraft2]

I've done women with women before, but always in a minor way, in a group sex setting. I'm writing my first purely lesbian scene now and it's harder than I thought. With man/woman, you have he/she and him/her to keep you from filling the page with their names. But when it's two women, that is a lot harder.

I've tried breaking it up by using things like. "Maria stroked the lovely blonde's face and then leaned in to kiss her trembling lips." But you can't do that too much or it becomes obvious what your doing and kills the flow of the story.

I've read a few lesbian stories to see what those authors did and it seems they had the same trouble. Advice?

Writing convincing intimate scenes can be difficult, but not impossible. The main problem from a male perspective is that we get hung up on the visual, female intimacy is more about feelings, as well as the other senses.
It can also be about conflicting emotions, particularly if the target of female desire is shy, or unsure of her sexuality.

Olivia, is a backstory for one of my characters in my first book. It's a first draft, but this is how I described it:

Harriet was a willing accomplice, but male company was not to be. Both young women had found release that did not involve males at all, in fact Olivia had instigated it on a sleepover.
Although on the surface, both slept in the same room with separate beds. That did not stop Harriet, stealing glances at Olivia’s nude form. An act that Olivia encouraged; Harriet was at the stage of exploring her body under the sheets. Naturally getting aroused in the process, as any eighteen-year-old would. Harriet’s mother had despaired, her daughter the same age as Olivia, yet just took it as read that her daughter was a late developer.
One warm weekend summers night, Harriet was having a particularly erotic dream. She was not aware that in her dream state she had kicked off the restrictive duvet, her fingers under the elastic of her sodden panties driving her crazy. Olivia had woken up, to hear her friend moaning softly. She carefully got out of bed, and onto Harriet’s. Hands working her friend’s panties down her legs and revealing her prize. Harriet was aware of a hot wetness licking her sex, she used her fingers to part her swollen lips as the feeling of release approached. Her body arched as the hot wetness licked at the right spot, her hands automatically holding the head she dreamt was there. The pressure was incredible, muscles spasmed. Bed shook as the most intense orgasm wracked her body. Olivia was worried others would hear Harriet’s long moan, but her own desires overrode caution. She knelt back on knees, lifted her nightdress off. The material over her erect nipples, the static causing an electric shock. Scooting up the bed, she sucked Harriet’s nipples through her thin nightdress. To her surprise, a sleepy Harriet responded in kind. Before long, her friend was frigging Olivia to complete her own orgasm, once over, both cuddled and fell asleep. Olivia woke in the early hours, recovered her nightdress, and got back into her bed.