Learning

[Stilllearning2b]

I’m trying to come to terms with my desire to be dominated by a woman (ideally my spouse but I don’t think that will ever happen). Would like to have a conversation with someone to help me come to terms.

 

[sub2femdom]

Can you define what you mean by 'coming to terms'?

My intention is not to grill you but to better define what you are asking

 

[AnnieLit]

I’m trying to come to terms with my desire to be dominated by a woman (ideally my spouse but I don’t think that will ever happen). Would like to have a conversation with someone to help me come to terms.

Come to terms as in "how do I live my life without it ever happening?", "how do I make it happen outside of my marriage?", or "how do I live with myself, when I know that I want such a perverted thing?"
(Just in case it is not obvious: I am NOT judging you for any of these questions! Or any other version of "coming to terms" that you might have)

We can talk... Maybe I will even come up with some ideas of how to make this happen at home. No promises, though

 

[Stilllearning2b]

Come to terms as in "how do I live my life without it ever happening?", "how do I make it happen outside of my marriage?", or "how do I live with myself, when I know that I want such a perverted thing?"
(Just in case it is not obvious: I am NOT judging you for any of these questions! Or any other version of "coming to terms" that you might have)

We can talk... Maybe I will even come up with some ideas of how to make this happen at home. No promises, though

Yes. Well, not so much the last one. I can handle and accept my kinks.

Having been “fundamentalist” (conservative) religiously/politically/ just in life in general for most of my life, I feel like I am learning all over again. Having broken down and removed that baggage, and relearning my beliefs, I guess in this area I am trying to figure it all out. Perhaps that doesn’t make sense.

 

[AnnieLit]

Yes. Well, not so much the last one. I can handle and accept my kinks.

Having been “fundamentalist” (conservative) religiously/politically/ just in life in general for most of my life, I feel like I am learning all over again. Having broken down and removed that baggage, and relearning my beliefs, I guess in this area I am trying to figure it all out. Perhaps that doesn’t make sense.

it makes perfect sense. And it is great that with this background you still can accept yourself - it is not a given. At all.

As for the other two...
First of all, role play it. Right here, on Lit. Find couple women that can do it with you in words and play it out. This will help you figure out what "dominated by a woman" means to YOU, because everybody has their own likes and limits.

The other thing that might happen out of RPing, is you might find yourself a long-distance Domme. This will solve both problems - you will get your itch scratched, but technically without cheating. Or at least you can tell yourself that no physical contact means no cheating.

From what I have seen around here so far, there will be rather big comptition for this - there are many more submissive men around here than dominant women. But there are few of us around, so keep trying. (I am NOT volunteering, sorry)

Another thing you can do, is find a local kink club or a meetup group. It will not be that easy if you are in the rural South, but if you have a large city an hour or two from you, there might be something. Again, there will be more men than women there, but you might meet the right lady.

PM me if you want to talk more.
Good luck!

 

[Stilllearning2b]

Thank you

 

[Snowbunnie12]

Chat with ladies or even CDs on here about it! I’m sure both will have ideas on how to help you be true to yourself

 

[sub2femdom]

First off, thanks AnnieLit for explaining the questions, I know enough to know it needed to be asked, but I'm not a wordsmith by any measure and didn't know how to ask it

Yes. Well, not so much the last one. I can handle and accept my kinks.

Having been “fundamentalist” (conservative) religiously/politically/ just in life in general for most of my life, I feel like I am learning all over again. Having broken down and removed that baggage, and relearning my beliefs, I guess in this area I am trying to figure it all out. Perhaps that doesn’t make sense.

That makes a lot of sense actually.

AnnieLit gave great answers so I have nothing much to add unless you are considering physical play in your area, then I can offer all kinds of advice

Good luck!

 

[Stilllearning2b]

First off, thanks AnnieLit for explaining the questions, I know enough to know it needed to be asked, but I'm not a wordsmith by any measure and didn't know how to ask it



That makes a lot of sense actually.

AnnieLit gave great answers so I have nothing much to add unless you are considering physical play in your area, then I can offer all kinds of advice

Good luck!

Thanks for the well wishes. Not sure if I am up for physical play. Because the would require someone outside of my marriage.

 

[AnnieLit]

Thanks for the well wishes. Not sure if I am up for physical play. Because the would require someone outside of my marriage.

PMs, texts, e-mails, skype, Kik - they all require someone outside of your marriage...

You probably meant physical contact with somebody, who is not your wife. But this part does not have to be there - I can send you to a store to buy some lacy underwear. Real store, not online. In your size, not your wife's. Maybe even have you talk to the salesgirl and ask for help figuring out the right size... It will be a VERY physical experience in itself, even before you put your new panties on. There are a lot of little things like this that help to tie physical and cyber worlds without two people being in the same room or even on the same continent.

 

[Stilllearning2b]

PMs, texts, e-mails, skype, Kik - they all require someone outside of your marriage...

You probably meant physical contact with somebody, who is not your wife. But this part does not have to be there - I can send you to a store to buy some lacy underwear. Real store, not online. In your size, not your wife's. Maybe even have you talk to the salesgirl and ask for help figuring out the right size... It will be a VERY physical experience in itself, even before you put your new panties on. There are a lot of little things like this that help to tie physical and cyber worlds without two people being in the same room or even on the same continent.

Sure. I understand. Regardless of all this, first thing first is finding that person. And moving from there.

 

[Stevew0073]

Sure. I understand. Regardless of all this, first thing first is finding that person. And moving from there.

Just be patient finding the right one can take time never know when it might happen.

 

[AnnieLit]

Sure. I understand. Regardless of all this, first thing first is finding that person. And moving from there.

You will find her! Or she will find you ))
There is just no way this will not happen!

 

[Stilllearning2b]

Optimism is not a strong suit of mine, nor is patience.