Learning my limitations

[MillieDynamite]

Dirty Harry had a simple philosophy

"Harry Callahan:
Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.

The Mayor:
Intent? How did you establish that?

Harry Callahan:
When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!"

Millie Dynamite:
"But seriously, limitations and boundaries are different things. Boundaries are lines we do not want to cross, where limitations are lines we need to push!"

 

[Djmac1031]

I gave it one star too, because I hated the ending.

I hated the whole thing. But especially the misogynistic beginning that blames women for the downfall of humanity.

 

[Djmac1031]

I love that Inspector Callahan quote too. It's one of the few he makes that is truly witty.

Djmac1031: I've seen this pattern before. People feel insecure about what they're doing, and then when you look at their profile, you see that they're doing great. Maybe that insecurity helps give them drive. But you have 102 followers already, which is more than I have after more than three years.

Before you get back to work, it's okay to give yourself a moment to savor your success. Maybe have a drink during that. People like what you're doing!

Thank you.

When I started out as a wedding DJ (hence part of my screen name) I had no clue what I was doing, and wound up making it a successful career for over 20 years.

I suppose this is like that. Although I'm not doing this for money lol.

I appreciate the positive encouragement.

 

[Djmac1031]

I can't speak for DJ, but for me the insecurity comes from a lifetime of being told I was incapable and that writing was a worthless waste of time that would never amount to anything.

It's gonna take me some time to come around to the idea that maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am. No amount of followers, ratings or glowing comments are going to undo decades of self-doubt and self-hate. I have trouble seeing the positive reactions as genuine, especially positive comments. I read half of them as though they are mocking me and I don't know why other than I'm more comfortable with criticism than praise.


As far as knowing your limitations and pushing yourself:

The goal post for limitations is constantly shifting. Now that you've done this many words, the next step up will feel like reaching another limitation you thought you had. It's a great feeling to push past those self-imposed limitations, but it's more motivating to call them achievements. You wrote almost 14k words. That's not a limitation, it's very much an achievement.

You built out characters more than you thought you could: Achievement.

You made a complex story all in one go: Achievement.

And every well known author was at one point an amateur. You do and you learn and you grow and you do better and you keep that pattern going until you're happy with where you are, or you die.

I've read some of your stories, and plan to read more. I think they're pretty good.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Congrats! 13K is no easy feat.

 

[gunhilltrain]

you're new. write more. give it time.

Hah, I see that you've been been here since 2004. Congratulations on making it this far.

I wasn't trying to complain about the number of followers I have. I was trying to give a boost to djmac1031, who seemed to need it.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Hah, I see that you've been been here since 2004. Congratulations on making it this far.

I wasn't trying to complain about the number of followers I have. I was trying to give a boost to djmac1031, who seemed to need it.

uh-huh. absolutely. i’m just kidding around.

 

[TadOverdon]

Some late night musings on my writing experiences two months in.

I just finished the longest story I've ever attempted. Right now, barring any additions or edits, it clocks in at 13,661 words.

Probably a drop in the bucket for many of you lol.

But for me it's a fucking novel.

I've had a lot of fun writing it, and I'm proud of the concept and most of the execution.

But I'm realizing just how tough it is to truly write a complex story; to get details right, to flesh out characters, to not sound repetitive and redundant, and to try and create a fully realized tale that has a beginning, middle, climax, and ending.

Plus, I'm reaching for the stars with an "emotional payoff" type ending and hoping like hell I developed the characters enough during to make it resonate.

I'm still sitting on it; gonna make a few more passes at editing and tweaking, but at some point I'm going to have to call it finished whether I'm fully satisfied with the results or not. Because if I waited til I felt this story was perfect, it would never get published.

I'm my own worst critic, and rightly so. Because I'm no author. I'm strictly amateur hour, I know that about my writing.

Anyway, just kinda musing on things. If you wanna chime in or share how you deal with these things or offer advice or just laugh at me, feel free.

First, congratulations.

As far as what others have said here about remembering that this is fun...I absolutely agree. If you're struggling with something to the point that fear of failure is painful, ask yourself just exactly what are the stakes?

Someone here already said that the best thing to do is publish/post and move on to the next project. Someone famous once said that art is never finished, only abandoned. Ditto.

I'm no one to give advice. I write longer works, novellas and novels, almost exclusively but I'm not only not good at it but can't say that I'm always focused on improving every aspect of the work that would make it a winner. There are areas of the writing process that hold my attention and that I try to improve at, and then there are areas that matter a great deal to some other writers that I still tend to skate on.

That said, one thing you said that I sympathize with and work on is repetition. It's really difficult to write a long story with lots of explicit sex and not be repetitive. I may never learn how.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Dirty Harry had a simple philosophy

"Harry Callahan:
Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.

The Mayor:
Intent? How did you establish that?

Harry Callahan:
When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!"

Millie Dynamite:
"But seriously, limitations and boundaries are different things. Boundaries are lines we do not want to cross, where limitations are lines we need to push!"

I suspect that this is a case where Callahan was either exaggerating things to make a point, or perhaps just pulling the leg of the person he was talking to. I mean, who many times do naked rapists chase their victims down alleys?

I know, Callahan would probably claim he saw such a thing. But step back a bit. There really was no Callahan. His lines were all created by a screenwriter and, frankly, a lot of the Dirty Harry series was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek.

 

[Djmac1031]

First, congratulations.

As far as what others have said here about remembering that this is fun...I absolutely agree. If you're struggling with something to the point that fear of failure is painful, ask yourself just exactly what are the stakes?

Someone here already said that the best thing to do is publish/post and move on to the next project. Someone famous once said that art is never finished, only abandoned. Ditto.

I'm no one to give advice. I write longer works, novellas and novels, almost exclusively but I'm not only not good at it but can't say that I'm always focused on improving every aspect of the work that would make it a winner. There are areas of the writing process that hold my attention and that I try to improve at, and then there are areas that matter a great deal to some other writers that I still tend to skate on.

That said, one thing you said that I sympathize with and work on is repetition. It's really difficult to write a long story with lots of explicit sex and not be repetitive. I may never learn how.

Perhaps the tone of my OP came across wrong.

I'm not afraid of failure, and overall I actually think this story is pretty good.

Do I wish it was better? Sure. But I'm realizing I don't have the skills yet to get it there.

But I know I just have to keep trying.

I appreciate everyone's comments and encouragement.

I've actually been editing it again today and think I've smoothed out a few kinks.

I'll probably publish it sometime this week.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I suspect that this is a case where Callahan was either exaggerating things to make a point, or perhaps just pulling the leg of the person he was talking to. I mean, who many times do naked rapists chase their victims down alleys?

I know, Callahan would probably claim he saw such a thing. But step back a bit. There really was no Callahan. His lines were all created by a screenwriter and, frankly, a lot of the Dirty Harry series was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek.

Harry Callahan, the title character of the 1971 film Dirty Harry portrayed by Clint Eastwood, was said to have been modeled on Toschi, while the film's villain—based on the Zodiac Killer—was called "The Scorpio Killer".

Prior to the this Steve McQueen specifically copied Toschi's distinctive style of quick-draw shoulder-holster (wearing his gun upside down) for the 1968 movie Bullitt. McQueen also claimed that he modeled much of his Bullitt character on Toschi.

And as for it being fiction, they are great lines. He established he had probably cause and needed to save someone, which is all that was required. I'm sure the woman backed his statement, and the bad guy was dead so he couldn't refute the facts as presented.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Harry Callahan, the title character of the 1971 film Dirty Harry portrayed by Clint Eastwood, was said to have been modeled on Toschi, while the film's villain—based on the Zodiac Killer—was called "The Scorpio Killer".

Prior to the this Steve McQueen specifically copied Toschi's distinctive style of quick-draw shoulder-holster (wearing his gun upside down) for the 1968 movie Bullitt. McQueen also claimed that he modeled much of his Bullitt character on Toschi.

And as for it being fiction, they are great lines. He established he had probably cause and needed to save someone, which is all that was required. I'm sure the woman backed his statement, and the bad guy was dead so he couldn't refute the facts as presented.

This is the first time I've heard of David Toschi; I had to look him up. He doesn't look like either McQueen or Eastwood, but that's Hollywood. Maybe somebody should make a movie actually about him. I see he was played by Mark Ruffalo in Zodiac.

Kind of interesting that the Zodiac Killer was never caught.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I hated the whole thing. But especially the misogynistic beginning that blames women for the downfall of humanity.

I agree. Sexism is wrong, and being wrong is for women.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I agree. Sexism is wrong, and being wrong is for women.

I'm sorry, this thread has become a bit tangled. I looked through the various posts and - what story does this refer to again?

 

[MillieDynamite]

This is the first time I've heard of David Toschi; I had to look him up. He doesn't look like either McQueen or Eastwood, but that's Hollywood. Maybe somebody should make a movie actually about him. I see he was played by Mark Ruffalo in Zodiac.

Kind of interesting that the Zodiac Killer was never caught.

Using a character as inspiration, the way he worked, his wise cracking attitude, and way he carried his gun, doesn't mean it is a bio pic. They weren't. McQueen shadowed David Toshi, Eastwood didn't, the writers from Eastwood's version built the story around a Toshi like character. Where McQueen built his version of Bullitt on Toshi the man.

On the flip, in actual film about Zodiac Mark Ruffalo played him and other than curly hair looks nothing like him either. Movies are stories, they put the actor that best fits the role, for the way the story is written (and box office draw), and little concern is paid to the real life counter part most of the time.

Cuba Gooding Jr. Played OJ Simpson and believe me, other than being black, they have nothing else in common physically. They aren't even the same shade of color, OJ is physically much larger. You might say they have disrespect for women in common!!

 

[MillieDynamite]

This is the first time I've heard of David Toschi; I had to look him up. He doesn't look like either McQueen or Eastwood, but that's Hollywood. Maybe somebody should make a movie actually about him. I see he was played by Mark Ruffalo in Zodiac.

Kind of interesting that the Zodiac Killer was never caught.

Gary F. Poste has been identified as the infamous Zodiac Killer. Of course, he is dead, Toshi is now dead though when the news broke Toshi supposedly looked into the evidence and couldn't understand why they hadn't seen it.

Many, if not most, serial killers are never identified. The I-35 killer has never been caught. If the killings occur over multiple jurisdictions or states, the odds go down of knowing you have one until the killings stop and someone looks at all those deaths that are pretty much the same.

BTK would never have been caught if hadn't started killing again. They still don't know if the serial killer in Atlanta who murdered little boys was the person that went to jail for it. Their is killer that has murdered for years between Huston and coast on a highway.

the following is from an article I read over the weekend.

"That ratio can then be used to calculate the number that went uncaught in real life. They point out that there were 1172 serial killers who were caught in the US during the 20th century which suggests a specific number evaded the law. “The result is that in 20th century there were about seven of such killers,” they say.

They go on to calculate how many victims these seven killers must have had using the distribution of victim numbers of real killers. These numbers for uncaught killers are sobering. “The most prolific of them likely committed over sixty murders,” say Simkin and Roychowdhury.

The researchers point out that their simulation has one obvious weakness. This is that some serial killers would likely be prevented from killing by poor end-of-life health rather than death. So active life span would be a better measure than total life span. “So the fraction of the uncaught killers would be only bigger,” they say.

That’s interesting work that once again highlights the potential of statistics in the fight against crime. Nevertheless, this will be little comfort to the families of the victims whose murders remain unsolved."

You can read the full article here. https://www.discovermagazine.com/th...mber-of-serial-killers-that-were-never-caught

AT any one time in America we have between 25 and 50 seral killers active. Yikes!!!

 

[gunhilltrain]

Harry Callahan, the title character of the 1971 film Dirty Harry portrayed by Clint Eastwood, was said to have been modeled on Toschi, while the film's villain—based on the Zodiac Killer—was called "The Scorpio Killer".

Prior to the this Steve McQueen specifically copied Toschi's distinctive style of quick-draw shoulder-holster (wearing his gun upside down) for the 1968 movie Bullitt. McQueen also claimed that he modeled much of his Bullitt character on Toschi.

And as for it being fiction, they are great lines. He established he had probably cause and needed to save someone, which is all that was required. I'm sure the woman backed his statement, and the bad guy was dead so he couldn't refute the facts as presented.

I think I've seen all of the Dirty Harry movies at one time or another - there were five of them over the course of seventeen years. And yeah, they're only movies and they're not to be taken too seriously. But after a while, the whole Eastwood/Callahan thing became a bit tiresome.

It probably has to do with my own personality. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a firefighter, not a police officer. I just don't have that "cop" thing in me; I don't want to tell other people what to do. So even though we need people to enforce the laws, I never had a desire to do it myself.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I think I've seen all of the Dirty Harry movies at one time or another - there were five of them over the course of seventeen years. And yeah, they're only movies and they're not to be taken too seriously. But after a while, the whole Eastwood/Callahan thing became a bit tiresome.

It probably has to do with my own personality. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a firefighter, not a police officer. I just don't have that "cop" thing in me; I don't want to tell other people what to do. So even though we need people to enforce the laws, I never had a desire to do it myself.

Unfortunately police work attracts a lot of men who are closer to the other side of the line. Psychological testing has failed to weed out bigots, narcissists, and men who become intoxicated with power. The old adage says, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely is probable a bit to close to the truth than we can be comfortable with.

But we have gone far afield of the original post! Where absolute power doesn't corrupt is in writing. So to the original poster, write on with out fear, push your limitations, and enjoy the experience.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Unfortunately police work attracts a lot of men who are closer to the other side of the line. Psychological testing has failed to weed out bigots, narcissists, and men who become intoxicated with power. The old adage says, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely is probable a bit to close to the truth than we can be comfortable with.

But we have gone far afield of the original post! Where absolute power doesn't corrupt is in writing. So to the original poster, write on with out fear, push your limitations, and enjoy the experience.

Yeah, this thread has drifted a long way from the original intent! I've seen that many times before. Bulletin boards are not good places for deep conversations. For one thing, the people on them can get deluded into thinking that they know the other people they are talking to - which, of course, they really don't.

In any case, I think we've already given djmac1031 whatever advice he could possibly get from us.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yeah, this thread has drifted a long way from the original intent! I've seen that many times before. Bulletin boards are not good places for deep conversations. For one thing, the people on them can get deluded into thinking that they know the other people they are talking to - which, of course, they really don't.

In any case, I think we've already given djmac1031 whatever advice he could possibly get from us.

We do know a version of the person. We form opinions (right or wrong) to the same degree we form opinions on people in rt, and with about the same amount of effectiveness. Often, our friends aren't as friendly as we think, those we don't like aren't as unlikeable as we believe.

There are some nice facts presented in the threads, and probably a lot of misinformation, but that happens often in real time as well. All in all, I enjoy reading the threads, and post when I have something (however accurate or off base) as I feel like doing so.

 

[Djmac1031]

So just in case anyone is interested, I did finally publish the story.

It felt like it took forever to write yet came out to just four pages lol.

Anyway, it's called The White Room. It's in my stories section if you're curious. If not no biggie.

 

[MillieDynamite]

So just in case anyone is interested, I did finally publish the story.

It felt like it took forever to write yet came out to just four pages lol.

Anyway, it's called The White Room. It's in my stories section if you're curious. If not no biggie.

Come, give us the link! I'll look it up and read it, but for those of us to lazy to do a search, provide us a link!!!!

 

[Djmac1031]

Come, give us the link! I'll look it up and read it, but for those of us to lazy to do a search, provide us a link!!!!

Lol. Ok. I always feel like it's shameless self promotion but here ya go.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-white-room-4

 

[MillieDynamite]

Lol. Ok. I always feel like it's shameless self promotion but here ya go.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-white-room-4

Self promotion, certainly, shameless or shameful, no fucking way!

 

[SexualisPhantasia]

Perhaps the tone of my OP came across wrong.

I'm not afraid of failure, and overall I actually think this story is pretty good.

Do I wish it was better? Sure. But I'm realizing I don't have the skills yet to get it there.

But I know I just have to keep trying.

I appreciate everyone's comments and encouragement.

I've actually been editing it again today and think I've smoothed out a few kinks.

I'll probably publish it sometime this week.

"Do I wish it was better? Sure. But I'm realizing I don't have the skills yet to get it there."
Writing is a process. It's a process of learning, growing, adapting and creating. I can say from my own experience that my writing has already changed in just a few months as I've learned more. I was happy with my first story, but of course I'd change a few things now. But past stories are also a record of how your writing has evolved.

Your skills will improve with time, it just takes patience and persistence. Good luck!