Happy to hear you and Robbie are settling into your true roles, and that you and Alex are doing well. The new job will hopefully present you with new and exciting opportunities! Looking forward to hearing more, and always happy to offer an opinion if you wish.
Leahaven
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Artfan2
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Glad to hear that things are going well with you, Robbie and Alex.
That's quite a delicious image of Robbie kneeling down and going down on you to begin the new year.
You are always welcome to offer an opinion. That's never a problem for me. Opinions and suggestions in these forums have been so totally helpful and insightful.
I think so, too! Ty!
cuckoldbill
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What a fab thread. Thank you LeaHaven . Love the vows at midnight on. I wish you and Robbie a wonderful year of excitement, adventure and love .
Here is what I really want to tell you about...
Alex has stayed the night with us more than a few times. I have always been concerned about, "What do you tell your wife?" He had never answered that question with anything believable, and I never wanted to spoil the sex I had coming, so I let it go. But eventually, I needed an answer.
He and I were eating dinner at a restaurant, and I asked again. "...and Alex," I said, "this time I need a real answer."
He looked down at his plate for a few seconds, with a smirk, deciding what to say. Then his expression got serious, he looked up at me and said, "She knows."
"She knows what?"
"She knows," he insisted.
"She knows that we're having sex?"
"Yes."
I tilted my head at him. I didn't believe a word of it. After some more back and forth, he explained.
Before they had kids, he and Janie had a situation that almost turned into sex with another couple. In time, on other occasions, it did turn into sex. (He says it only happened a few times, but his timeline doesn't add up.) After that, they tried to get into the swing culture, but Janie got pregnant before they met any other couples. After their first kid, he says she was no longer interested in other couples, and after their second kid, she was no longer interested in sex. She understands that he can't go without ever having sex again, so she "looks the other way."
I told him that "looks the other way" doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable. He insisted that his relationship with me wasn't a problem for Janie.
You know, if he had been honest from the beginning, I might have believed what he was saying that night, but I was doubting everything he said, and I told him that.
"I'll prove it," he told me. "Meet us for dinner. You and Robbie"
I rolled my eyes. There was no way I was going to meet with his wife again after all that had gone on. What if she asked me about it? I mean, would she?
It took some days, but he (and Robbie) convinced me to do it. Same restaurant where Robbie and I met them before. I've never been so nervous in my life.
In case you can't tell....I don't have enough to do in my new job.
I will finish this at another time.
Alex has stayed the night with us more than a few times. I have always been concerned about, "What do you tell your wife?" He had never answered that question with anything believable, and I never wanted to spoil the sex I had coming, so I let it go. But eventually, I needed an answer.
He and I were eating dinner at a restaurant, and I asked again. "...and Alex," I said, "this time I need a real answer."
He looked down at his plate for a few seconds, with a smirk, deciding what to say. Then his expression got serious, he looked up at me and said, "She knows."
"She knows what?"
"She knows," he insisted.
"She knows that we're having sex?"
"Yes."
I tilted my head at him. I didn't believe a word of it. After some more back and forth, he explained.
Before they had kids, he and Janie had a situation that almost turned into sex with another couple. In time, on other occasions, it did turn into sex. (He says it only happened a few times, but his timeline doesn't add up.) After that, they tried to get into the swing culture, but Janie got pregnant before they met any other couples. After their first kid, he says she was no longer interested in other couples, and after their second kid, she was no longer interested in sex. She understands that he can't go without ever having sex again, so she "looks the other way."
I told him that "looks the other way" doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable. He insisted that his relationship with me wasn't a problem for Janie.
You know, if he had been honest from the beginning, I might have believed what he was saying that night, but I was doubting everything he said, and I told him that.
"I'll prove it," he told me. "Meet us for dinner. You and Robbie"
I rolled my eyes. There was no way I was going to meet with his wife again after all that had gone on. What if she asked me about it? I mean, would she?
It took some days, but he (and Robbie) convinced me to do it. Same restaurant where Robbie and I met them before. I've never been so nervous in my life.
In case you can't tell....I don't have enough to do in my new job.
I will finish this at another time.
Toro1886
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oh you wicked tease...and that of course is your provocative! ;-P
I've learned
When I read what I wrote above about Alex's wife knowing he was getting sex elsewhere, it sounds so....uneventful....pragmatic But he and I have talked about the fact that Janie is no longer interested in sex, and while it is nice of her to let him go elsewhere, their sexless marriage is stressful and difficult. Alex misses sex with his wife. He has told me that her lack of interest in him in that way makes him feel like she's lost interest in him completely. He worships the ground she walks on, but she doesn't seem to care.
I know it's kind of depressing reading about this, but I don't think it's right for me to make it seem like his life is a fairy tale. I also wanted you to know that, as he explains it, the concessions she allows him do not make up for a sexless marriage.
Maybe others have been in a similar situation.
I know it's kind of depressing reading about this, but I don't think it's right for me to make it seem like his life is a fairy tale. I also wanted you to know that, as he explains it, the concessions she allows him do not make up for a sexless marriage.
Maybe others have been in a similar situation.
naughty_stories
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You give me hope that such a marriage can work.
dave's thing
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Been going thru it for 3ish years.
Know exactly how he feels
Artfan2
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No doubt the sexless marriage increases his desire and appreciation for sex outside of the marriage. And I'm sure that there are others in a similar situation.
When we met Alex and Janie for dinner, we actually had a really good time. I like her. I really do. She has a dry sense of humor, and she is very quick witted. But what I liked most was that she seemed to really understand how I used to work so hard to please my parents. She was complimentary about how I decided to stop doing that and get on with my own life.
We talked about jobs and kids and hobbies and food, especially Janie's chicken soup, which Alex raved about, but no one was saying anything about "the situation." It went on like this until the dinner was ending, and I didn't know anymore than I did when we arrived. And Robbie and I doing dinner with them didn't prove anything. I was beginning to think the whole thing was a ploy by Alex. He had already dodged the question so many times.
The waitress came by and brought the check, and we argued over who was paying.
"No, let us pick this up," I said.
"No, we'll get it," Alex replied.
"But you got the last one..."
You know how that scene goes.
The waitress left, and Janie turned to me.
"Next time Alex is headed to your house, I'll send some soup with him," she said with a smile. "I'll send enough so you can give him some for breakfast....save Robbie the trouble of cooking."
I felt my face get hot as a poker, and my heart rate went crazy! And with the comment about Robbie cooking, I could feel him shrink in his seat next to me. Janie knew EVERYTHING.
Alex cut eyes at me, as if to say, "See. Told ya.'"
I squeaked out a "Thank you." It sounded so lame.
After we walked out of the restaurant, we stood near the door and said our goodbyes with hugs all around.
"We should do this again," Janie said.
"That would be nice," I replied, but I wasn't sure I meant it. It all felt so, so bizarre.
Alex texted me later that night to say that Janie honestly enjoyed the evening. I asked him why he didn't tell me from the beginning that Janie knew.
"I thought it would freak you out," he said.
It kinda does.
We talked about jobs and kids and hobbies and food, especially Janie's chicken soup, which Alex raved about, but no one was saying anything about "the situation." It went on like this until the dinner was ending, and I didn't know anymore than I did when we arrived. And Robbie and I doing dinner with them didn't prove anything. I was beginning to think the whole thing was a ploy by Alex. He had already dodged the question so many times.
The waitress came by and brought the check, and we argued over who was paying.
"No, let us pick this up," I said.
"No, we'll get it," Alex replied.
"But you got the last one..."
You know how that scene goes.
The waitress left, and Janie turned to me.
"Next time Alex is headed to your house, I'll send some soup with him," she said with a smile. "I'll send enough so you can give him some for breakfast....save Robbie the trouble of cooking."
I felt my face get hot as a poker, and my heart rate went crazy! And with the comment about Robbie cooking, I could feel him shrink in his seat next to me. Janie knew EVERYTHING.
Alex cut eyes at me, as if to say, "See. Told ya.'"
I squeaked out a "Thank you." It sounded so lame.
After we walked out of the restaurant, we stood near the door and said our goodbyes with hugs all around.
"We should do this again," Janie said.
"That would be nice," I replied, but I wasn't sure I meant it. It all felt so, so bizarre.
Alex texted me later that night to say that Janie honestly enjoyed the evening. I asked him why he didn't tell me from the beginning that Janie knew.
"I thought it would freak you out," he said.
It kinda does.
Artfan2
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I like the way that Janie took control of the topic that everyone was thinking about, but no one had brought up and normalized the relationships that you have with her husband and Robbie in such a matter-of-fact way.
13Fantasies
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Are you going to let us know if the soup is good? 
I agree he should have let you know, but its nice you found out and in a non-confrontational way
I agree he should have let you know, but its nice you found out and in a non-confrontational way
I think Alex and Janie had decided how to deliver the message days before we ever met them for dinner. They have experience.
Honestly, the soup was probably the best soup I've ever hadAre you going to let us know if the soup is good?
I agree he should have let you know, but its nice you found out and in a non-confrontational way
13Fantasies
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That Alex is lucky: You and amazing soup
I know Alex hates the lack of intimacy with Janie, but he still always talks about her in a positive light. And when we have been around them, you would never know they are a sexless marriage. They joke with each other and get along like a happily married couple. I hope it can work, too, but I am beginning to believe, just from our own experience, that the sex life of a couple is the beating heart of a marriage.
To be completely honest, what scares me more is that things between Alex and me have become more than just sex. I don't think Janie knows that, but I am sure Robbie can see it.
I am sorry to hear this. It pains me to think anyone has to sacrifice so much. If you've read this thread you know that I didn't deal with our sexual dysfunction very well before, and that wasn't even sexless....just inadequate. I doubt I could handle a sexless marriage.
whenagain
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Hopefully you never have to.
And sometimes inadequate can be almost as frustrating as entirely sexless.
