Leahaven

[liqueur]

I am wary when a man is immediately keen to involve my cuckold in our sexual interactions. ... Most guys in that situation see themselves as the "bull" coming into dominate [both] cuckold and hot wife...it isn't obvious to me that Robbie has embraced that yet.
...
One of the things I use my dominant role for is to protect my cuckold... my role comes with responsibilities.
...
...if you are going to be dominant with your husband but submissive with your lovers it [can be] dangerous to mix the two.

@LeaHaven : All of these points. Exactly what I was trying to say.

 

[LeaHaven]

Oh gosh! Thank you all so much for your comments! There are so many!

But I must apologize. I am so far behind on responding, I don't know if I will ever get caught up. Either way, you people give me so many valuable perspectives to consider, and I know I would never have thought of these things without your help.

But, unfortunately, my first date with Alex took place 5 weeks ago. A LOT has happened since then. I will continue to update this thread as often as I can, but please don't be upset with me if you learn in one of my updates that the direction I have already taken is not what you would have recommended. I am doing the best I can. I would love to be more current in here, but right now, my career, my social life, and my marriage all seem to be moving faster than I can keep pace. It is all good stuff (well, mostly), but I stay so busy it is a real struggle to get in here and update my own thread. Isn't that terrible?

Please forgive me if I do not get around to responding to your comment. I will get as many as I can, but with my limited time, when I am responding, I am not updating. And when I am updating, I am not responding. I need two of me!

Ooo! Imagine that! If there were two of me, I could go on a date with Alex and a separate date with Jack, all on the same night!

By the way, Travis found a job! Yay!!

 

[liqueur]

please don't be upset with me if you learn in one of my updates that the direction I have already taken is not what you would have recommended.

Leah, this isn't about us. This is about you. Please don't feel you need to apologize for anything, but especially not for making your own decisions!

 

[LeaHaven]

maybe in time you'll teach him to be better... but as @policywank stated... as long as he knows he'll never be a pro baseball player ! ;-)

I think he knew that long before I did

 

[LeaHaven]

Leah, This is a topic that I have thought a good deal about and my Wife/Mistress and I have talked quite openly about. I would definitely distinguish between hurtful (often shame triggering) humiliation, erotic humiliation, and punishment.

For example, if my wife were to reveal to my buddies that I wear panties and I am not allowed PIV sex, I would be deeply humiliated in a nonsexual way and perhaps avoid seeing these friends. My childhood experiences of bullying would be triggered in a most hurtful way. However, if she were to suggest telling a trusted woman friend “because she should know the truth about you” I’d much more likely be aroused by this, especially if this is a friend who .i found attractive who I believed would honor the secret. The idea of a trusted woman knowing is erotically humiliating.

On the rare occasions that she has punished me, it has not been erotic. There has been no question that being punished by her, however, increased her authority and my sense of awe of her. If she let me get by with disobeying or disrespecting, the luster would soon come off my idealization of her, and I have a striping need to view her as superior.

Erotic humiliation is very powerful, but it is not easy to master, and sometimes the boundary between erotic and shaming is razor thin. It takes empathy and knowing your partner and his triggers, erotic and wounding.

When she plays me like a finely tuned fiddle, my devotion to her compounds infinitely.

There is a little backstory that I have never talked about in here.

At work, for most couples in our client base, the guy is more involved with their investments, or the couple is on equal terms. But my group has one client, a husband and wife, in which it is abundantly clear that she is the authority. She decides when we will meet, she decides the investment strategy, she is the breadwinner, she holds the wealth, she calls the shots. Sometimes she delegates tasks to her husband on the call.

On every call with that couple, I knew that I was seeing Robbie and me mirrored in that relationship. As you all know, when I finally accepted that to be "OK," everything changed for us. But when I finally accepted it, just a mere crack, the dam burst, and there was no turning back. I changed my attitude faster than Robbie could adapt.

As it stands now, sometimes when I have to provide "corrective action," it is not erotic, but the instant it is over, there lingers an unavoidable atmosphere of authority. That atmosphere is highly erotic. It is like a never-ending buzz. A low grade, ever-present euphoria that surrounds us, that we breathe in, that reminds us both who is boss.

I am sure that sometimes some of the things I write in here make some of you think I am mean. Maybe I am sometimes. I can be inflexible, and I do want things my way. But Robbie and I have never been closer. When we are in public, he is almost always touching me in some way. Holding hands, cuddled against me as we stand in line, sitting right up next to me on outdoor bench seating, whatever. At home, he caters to me, always keeping my wants and needs as a priority. He adores me because I am the authority. I adore him because he is so dutiful and attentive. If I send him a text from work, it gets done. If my computer messes up, he fixes it. If I want pasta for dinner, he makes it.

In these forums, I learned how to take a relationship that already had an authority structure around everyday domestic chores and turn it into an entire sex life. Will it last forever? I don't know, but for now, Robbie and I live in a relationship of constant arousal. I get sexual relief whenever I want it. He gets sexual relief when I allow it. What could be better than that?

 

[Toro1886]

Both Alex and Robbie are interested in hearing about your intimate relationships with other men. But bringing them together with you would definitely be a big step beyond just telling them about other men.

seems like a Huge step! ...although i am conscious that Leah has a lot of info that we have not heard about yet!

 

[NancyPan]

There is a little backstory that I have never talked about in here.

At work, for most couples in our client base, the guy is more involved with their investments, or the couple is on equal terms. But my group has one client, a husband and wife, in which it is abundantly clear that she is the authority. She decides when we will meet, she decides the investment strategy, she is the breadwinner, she holds the wealth, she calls the shots. Sometimes she delegates tasks to her husband on the call.

On every call with that couple, I knew that I was seeing Robbie and me mirrored in that relationship. As you all know, when I finally accepted that to be "OK," everything changed for us. But when I finally accepted it, just a mere crack, the dam burst, and there was no turning back. I changed my attitude faster than Robbie could adapt.

As it stands now, sometimes when I have to provide "corrective action," it is not erotic, but the instant it is over, there lingers an unavoidable atmosphere of authority. That atmosphere is highly erotic. It is like a never-ending buzz. A low grade, ever-present euphoria that surrounds us, that we breathe in, that reminds us both who is boss.

I am sure that sometimes some of the things I write in here make some of you think I am mean. Maybe I am sometimes. I can be inflexible, and I do want things my way. But Robbie and I have never been closer. When we are in public, he is almost always touching me in some way. Holding hands, cuddled against me as we stand in line, sitting right up next to me on outdoor bench seating, whatever. At home, he caters to me, always keeping my wants and needs as a priority. He adores me because I am the authority. I adore him because he is so dutiful and attentive. If I send him a text from work, it gets done. If my computer messes up, he fixes it. If I want pasta for dinner, he makes it.

In these forums, I learned how to take a relationship that already had an authority structure around everyday domestic chores and turn it into an entire sex life. Will it last forever? I don't know, but for now, Robbie and I live in a relationship of constant arousal. I get sexual relief whenever I want it. He gets sexual relief when I allow it. What could be better than that?

Leah, This is a very good description of an FLR, and how it meets certain vital psychological needs for both him and Her. Although some of Her methods are far too extreme for me, I do find the teachings of Mistress Scarlet (she has an active blog and a number of books) to be often quite pertinent and helpful. She writes that males like Robbie’s and me (who she calls uxo) “can only be truly content if they feel helplessly in the power of a woman, and that woman has a little bit of a mean streak.”

https://msscarletuk.wordpress.com/my-manual/

One other point, although you are a fantastic erotic story teller, perhaps there would be a benefit to you fast forwarding to the present to catch us all up so that we are not commenting on events that happened a month back.

 

[policywank]

I get sexual relief whenever I want it. He gets sexual relief when I allow it. What could be better than that?

Most men who aren't familiar with this lifestyle see this as unequal. What they fail to realize is that for a guy like Robbie this is a superior outcome to any alternative that reflects the sexual reality of both partners. And it is closer to equal opportunity than most relationships.

For Robbie having the latitude to seek outside partners isn't valuable. It is just an opportunity to strike out or once in a great while fool another woman into believing he will give her sexual pleasure only to disappoint her. Or he could be a chronic masturbator. Either way he ends up at home waiting on Leah anyways (but with an extra dose of rejection). Or he could go the traditional route and insist on monogamy and end up in a largely sexless marriage pretending it is because his wife has no interest in sex rather than because he is lousy in bed. In other words, deny her sexual fulfillment so he doesn't have to face his reality.

Guys will see this inequality as being imposed on him by his wife. But the inequality we observe is just that which naturally exists. If we translate sexual dynamics into a sports metaphor, Leah is the pro player and Robbie is the water boy. That isn't because someone arbitrarily deemed it to be so or sought to put him in that place. That is just the way it is. The outcome observed is actually the natural and equal outcome. Interacting with him in a positive supportive way does not mean pretending the water boy is more than he is.

 

[LeaHaven]

One other point, although you are a fantastic erotic story teller, perhaps there would be a benefit to you fast forwarding to the present to catch us all up so that we are not commenting on events that happened a month back.

This is the challenge, NancyPan. As I talked about before, I have time to write less posts of detailed accounts of specific happenings or post more often with generalized summaries of everyday life. I wish I could do both, but now that I am dating, I don't have a lot of free time. When this came up before, the overwhelming feedback was "we want details." Maybe I can find somewhere in the middle. I will try.

For all of you reading this, if you have a preference, please let me know, here or in a DM. Do you want more detailed accounts like my first date with Alex, or do you want to know, with some general sex talk, what is going on between me and the boys each week? Even if I get 100 messages, I honestly want to know your preference.

 

[Toro1886]

i think we need some short posts to catch up and then maybe a couple of more detailed ones to add the spice! LOL You are doing a grand job Leah!

 

[Domwoolf]

I would suggest a quick time line update to bring the blog back to real time. You can always expand on any areas that need further details as you go.

 

[liqueur]

if you have a preference, please let me know, here or in a DM. Do you want more detailed accounts like my first date with Alex, or do you want to know, with some general sex talk, what is going on between me and the boys each week?

I say, write the parts that you most enjoy writing, whether it's detailed accounts or general accounts, or some hybrid. The secret is, the more you enjoy writing it, the more we will enjoy reading it.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

Your writing about your experiences has been fascinating, so full of detail and emotion, thanks for sharing so much. It's amazing how far you've both come so quickly, it sounds like things are going well, and you're both taking good care of each other.

I love how you describe how your love, affection, and physical closeness has only increased. People tend to think relationships like these are cold and emotionless, or one sided, but you really convey the love here, and how all of this is only bringing you close together. It's quite lovely to read x

 

[ChasBozwell30]

I say, write the parts that you most enjoy writing, whether it's detailed accounts or general accounts, or some hybrid. The secret is, the more you enjoy writing it, the more we will enjoy reading it.

I would second this. Your sex life sounds amazing Leah, but mainly because of the enthusiasm and pleasure it brings you. This is what is so fun and interesting to read about.

 

[liqueur]

sometimes when I have to provide "corrective action," it is not erotic, but the instant it is over, there lingers an unavoidable atmosphere of authority. That atmosphere is highly erotic. It is like a never-ending buzz. A low grade, ever-present euphoria that surrounds us, that we breathe in, that reminds us both who is boss.

I am sure that sometimes... some of you think I am mean. Maybe I am sometimes. I can be inflexible, and I do want things my way.

And that is precisely what makes you so delightful.

 

[LeaHaven]

As you may recall, Alex said I had 24 hours to answer his question.

The next day at work, when I returned to my desk after lunch, it seemed unusually quiet in the offices. To my right was the glass wall and glass door of my office that face the hallway. I can always see anyone passing by, and it used to be a distraction, but I have gotten used to ignoring the traffic. At this time, the hallway was empty and the normal sounds of chatter were gone. Through the windows to my left, it looked dark outside, like heavy clouds would unleash a torrential rain at any moment. When it's like that, the world always seems to slow down and close in. In the still and the quiet and the subdued light, my office felt small and cozy. I sat at my desk. The contradictions of my life were impossible to ignore.

I am a professional, a career woman who works in a conservative business setting with very wealthy clients. I am knowledgeable and respected in my field. I am viewed as a devout Christian woman, a loving and faithful wife with a wonderful and caring husband. I am a person of utmost morality, demure and reserved and shy around people, even those I have long known.

But eighteen hours earlier, that shy and faithful wife was eagerly sucking a stranger's cock in a parking garage. A cock that was grotesque and sinister in its appearance. A cock whose size alone makes it seem selfish and malicious. A cock that, for some strange reason, this married, Christian woman finds praiseworthy and deserving. There in my office I was surrounded by the "normal" world, but I couldn't stop thinking about the cock. It was like it was a separate person from the guy attached to it. I didn't have a date with Alex last night. I had a date with his mean, arrogant, ugly cock.

Erin passed by in the hallway. She smiled and waved.

My life had become totally surreal.

I closed my office door and called Robbie. It took a few rings before he answered.

"Hey," he said, "hold on."

I could hear fans whirring loudly in the background. He was in the garage working on his project car. I could envision the hair along his hairline, wet and sweaty and sticking to his skin. I could see that old gray T-shirt he wears that is stained and stretched, the one that says, "Austin City Limits," on it. I could see the black latex gloves on his hands. I could smell motor oil and spray paint.

I heard the door from house to garage shut, and the background became quiet.

"Hey," he said, "what's up?"

I asked him how his day had been so far, and we talked about work and what was for dinner and mundane things, and then I said, "I need to tell you something."

"OK. What?"

"I enjoyed last night," I said in a soft voice.

Robbie went quiet. It came as no surprise. But I could feel the sexual tension between us flare up like gasoline on a campfire. For Robbie, quiet is agreement.

"Did you think about me while I was out?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"I thought about you. I thought about you the whole time. Sometimes I thought about you more than other times. Do you know when those times were?"

"No," he replied, his voice subdued and aroused.

"I think you do, baby. I thought about you sitting at home, alone, patiently waiting for me while I was....you know...busy."

Robbie didn't say a word. He avoids any clues that might suggest "cuckold."

"I have a question for you," I added. "Would you like to join Alex and me for dinner next Wednesday? It's only dinner. After dinner you would drive home."

I was not going to give him the option to be present in the hotel room. I was not ready for that, but I wanted to see how it would go between him and Alex, now that we all knew the situation. From what I had seen of Alex, I felt certain it would be OK, but whatever. I didn't want to waste time heading down a dead end street.

"He doesn't want me there," Robbie said.

"He's the one asking."

"Oh."

There was a long pause that I did not interrupt. This was Robbie's decision. He stalled and asked some questions about stuff that didn't matter. I answered his questions. He paused some more.

"Can I think about it?" he said.

"You may."

I made small talk for a minute, but the sexual tension was still racing in our veins. As the conversation was coming to a close, I added, "Hey Robbie?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you be unfaithful today."

I could hear him let go of the erection I knew he was clutching through his pants. I could feel his face turn red.

His voice was so humble, it admitted to everything.

"I won't."

(Continued: https://forum.literotica.com/threads/leahaven.1625758/post-101279766)

 

[LeaHaven]

Your writing about your experiences has been fascinating, so full of detail and emotion, thanks for sharing so much. It's amazing how far you've both come so quickly, it sounds like things are going well, and you're both taking good care of each other.

I love how you describe how your love, affection, and physical closeness has only increased. People tend to think relationships like these are cold and emotionless, or one sided, but you really convey the love here, and how all of this is only bringing you close together. It's quite lovely to read x

Thank you, ChazBozwell30.

The other day, I asked Robbie, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your married life?"

"I'm not going to answer that," he said.

"I won't ask any questions," I told him, "no matter the score. I promise."

"A nine."

"A nine?" I replied, unhappy. "Why only a nine?"

"Leah," he exclaimed, "you said you weren't going to ask any questions!"

"I changed my mind."

There was a some back and forth with him complaining but then hinting at the answer, but I wasn't getting it. Finally he admitted, "I wish Travis wasn't here. It's so much better when it's just me and you."

My heart radiated like the sun. I felt exactly the same.

 

[LeaHaven]

And that is precisely what makes you so delightful.

Thank you

 

[liqueur]

As you may recall, Alex said I had 24 hours to answer his question....

You write so beautifully. And you convey the sexual tension beautifully.

 

[liqueur]

@LeaHaven
I look at my last few comments sequentially, and I realize I'm pouring on the compliments to the point of sounding obsequious. I apologize if I come across that way. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

Thank you, ChazBozwell30.

The other day, I asked Robbie, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your married life?"

"I'm not going to answer that," he said.

"I won't ask any questions," I told him, "no matter the score. I promise."

"A nine."

"A nine?" I replied, unhappy. "Why only a nine?"

"Leah," he exclaimed, "you said you weren't going to ask any questions!"

"I changed my mind."

There was a some back and forth with him complaining but then hinting at the answer, but I wasn't getting it. Finally he admitted, "I wish Travis wasn't here. It's so much better when it's just me and you."

My heart radiated like the sun. I felt exactly the same.

He's very lucky, you both are x

 

[LeaHaven]

I sent a text to Alex.

"What if I don't have an answer in 24 hours?"

"It will be added to your debt, but this infraction will require special payment."

"What kind of special payment?"

"tbd" he replied. Immediately thereafter, in a separate message, he added, "terms and conditions are subject to change at any time and without notice."

I chuckled, and I wondered why his wife was no longer interested in sex. Alex is fun!

"I see," I said. "Unfortunately, I will not have an answer for a day or so."

Alex replied, "YES!!"

Now I was honestly LOL in my office.

"Keep in mind," I said, "I'm a small woman. I break easily."

Alex replied, "What is that you always say? 'not my problem.'"

The exchange had ended, but I remembered something I meant to mention to Robbie. I texted him.

"I forgot....remember, I have a date this Saturday."

I had my first date with Jack scheduled for the Saturday following my first date with Alex. Two first dates in one week!

"I remember," he said.

"You'll help me get ready."

"OK, what time?"

"I'll get in the shower around 4:00. Be locked up."

Robbie didn't respond. He never says a whole lot when the cage comes up. It still embarrasses him.

Just then, one of the guys from the reception desk appeared at my office door, smiling. He was holding a flower arrangement of a dozen red roses. I set my phone face down on my desk and waved him in.

"You got flowers," he said, opening my office door and stepping inside.

"I got flowers?"

I couldn't understand why I was getting flowers. Robbie isn't known for buying me flowers, and there was no occasion going on. I took the arrangement and set it on my desk. The reception guy left (of course I know his name, but I don't want to have to make up another name for this thread), and I opened the little envelope.

"For an angel from heaven," it read. "Alex."

OMG, how my heart rose. I was smiling like never before. It put a delicious warmth in my body that pushed away what was beginning to feel a little impersonal.

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Robbie.

"Do you want me to go to dinner?"

"I would like that, yes."

"OK, yeah," Robbie said, "then I'll go. Sounds like a plan."

I rolled my eyes. I know Robbie. I knew what he was trying to do. Even with everything that had happened, Robbie was trying to act like, "Ya' know, since I'm not a cuckold or anything, yeah, I'll go to dinner with you two. I can sit man-to-man with Alex. It will probably make him feel more comfortable about the situation." He was acting like I am stupid, and I can't see the real Robbie. Honestly, it was beginning to piss me off. I wasn't about to show him any mercy, and I answered accordingly.

"OK, good," I said, "be locked up."

I waited until Saturday before I told Alex that Robbie would join us for dinner.

"...just dinner. He will leave after that."

"Sounds good."

 

[LeaHaven]

You write so beautifully. And you convey the sexual tension beautifully.

Thank you!

 

[LeaHaven]

@LeaHaven
I look at my last few comments sequentially, and I realize I'm pouring on the compliments to the point of sounding obsequious. I apologize if I come across that way. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Too many compliments?

Hmm...I didn't notice anything

 

[LeaHaven]

I have put links on every post for the Date-with-Alex posts directing the reader to the next post. I know it must be very difficult to keep track of what is happening with so many posts in between. I hope it helps.