Leahaven

[naughty_stories]

May i also suggest that Robbie's mother is also very much a Dominant and doesn't like her authority being challenged. I wonder just what is inside the box tucked away under HER bed.

I say this because of her attitude of "I told him not to listen to you and that he shouldn't quit"

 

[NancyPan]

About the whole "less than" thing.

Before I had ever heard of Literotica, I knew that Robbie felt "less than" other guys in the bedroom. I also knew, or strongly suspected, that in some really, really weird way, he liked it. He won't talk about sex directly, but he has no problem dropping comments here and there to make all this clear. It is like he is constantly encouraging ME to view him as "less than" other guys in the bedroom. It used to really piss me off, but I have given up that fight. To be honest, I have gotten to where, in a small way, I play along with it. One time (or two or three or), when we were out in public, he has said to me, "That guy over there looks like he'd be a good fuck." I look over, and no matter what I truly think, I respond, "Yeah, he does."

When I found Literotica, reading the forums confirmed everything I had suspected. There are LOTS of guys posting the very same desires. But if a guy cannot have intercourse with his wife for more than like 30 seconds without ejaculating, how could he NOT feel that way?

But in every other aspect of his life, in those "guy" things, Robbie does not feel less than. He can build or fix anything. He likes to work with his hands, and he likes hard work. He may hate his job, but he is very good at it, and when he gave his notice, they made a counter offer and said they would give him his own crew.

People who know him would never view him as "less than." In everything they see, he is "more than." There is a thread on here somewhere that is called something like, "Fucked or Used?" I am 28 years old, and I have never experience either one. So you tell me, is he less than? If he wants me to treat him that way, should I?

I've got to leave for work. I will check in here later. Bye, everyone!

And thank you!!

No, Leah, if he is like me, he is not really “less than” except he feels inferior to your sexuality and is very likely aroused by erotic humiliation.

 

[policywank]

About the whole "less than" thing.

Before I had ever heard of Literotica, I knew that Robbie felt "less than" other guys in the bedroom. I also knew, or strongly suspected, that in some really, really weird way, he liked it. He won't talk about sex directly, but he has no problem dropping comments here and there to make all this clear. It is like he is constantly encouraging ME to view him as "less than" other guys in the bedroom. It used to really piss me off, but I have given up that fight. To be honest, I have gotten to where, in a small way, I play along with it. One time (or two or three or), when we were out in public, he has said to me, "That guy over there looks like he'd be a good fuck." I look over, and no matter what I truly think, I respond, "Yeah, he does."

When I found Literotica, reading the forums confirmed everything I had suspected. There are LOTS of guys posting the very same desires. But if a guy cannot have intercourse with his wife for more than like 30 seconds without ejaculating, how could he NOT feel that way?

But in every other aspect of his life, in those "guy" things, Robbie does not feel less than. He can build or fix anything. He likes to work with his hands, and he likes hard work. He may hate his job, but he is very good at it, and when he gave his notice, they made a counter offer and said they would give him his own crew.

People who know him would never view him as "less than." In everything they see, he is "more than." There is a thread on here somewhere that is called something like, "Fucked or Used?" I am 28 years old, and I have never experience either one. So you tell me, is he less than? If he wants me to treat him that way, should I?

I've got to leave for work. I will check in here later. Bye, everyone!

And thank you!!

I distinguish between "less than" in relation to a certain characteristic versus as a person overall (along the lines that NancyPan has discussed). If a man recognizes that he is genuinely "less than" in relation to a specific characteristic he may prefer to embrace that and be accepted for it rather than try to convince himself otherwise and worry about the consequences of his self delusion.

In your example a man with a chronic pre-mature ejaculation problem knows that it affects his ability to pleasure his wife. Like you said how could he NOT feel that way, but a lot of guys will twist themselves in knots to avoid this recognition. And pretending that this situation doesn't exist will leave him worrying about his performance and whether her lack of sexual satisfaction will have larger ramifications. He may find it preferable to acknowledge reality and seek an alternative way to fulfill her sexual appetites. And in time he may derive erotic stimulation from this altered and unique sexual status as a male.

 

[policywank]

Oh gosh, this is a lot to think about! But where you said, "The kinky appeal will often require you to test his obedience with things to which he is naturally resistant," I don't know what those things are.

Where you talk about how you and your husband handled his parents, we just reached the same conclusion! Robbie and I talked about it a few nights ago, and I told him we should use "quiet quitting." Essentially you respond to their directions with, "OK," and then you ignore everything they just said.

You said, "You may need to erect a facade that shows a different face to the world outside of your happy home." That has been going on for some time, but there are these two instances I want to tell everyone about, if I can summon the courage to talk about them.

I will talk about the "less than" and the "other guys" topics in a separate post. There are others commenting on these same issues, and in all honesty, I have been avoiding them.

I think the question of what are the things he is naturally resistant to are very personal to him. It sounds like wearing a cock cage was something that required him to at least contemplate it before embracing it. Wearing it in certain situations (i.e. at work or around the house while naked) may test his limits. It is all about exploring and probing in small increments.

 

[LeaHaven]

I have admitted to her that I need her to control my penis (so that I do not masturbate).

I could not sleep one night because of bad cramps. I got out of bed and went into the front bedroom in our house which I use as a home office. I opened my laptop, did some work, and after about an hour or so, I closed the laptop and headed back to bed. As I exited the hallway into our family room, Robbie was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, jerking off. I guess he did not notice that I was not in the bed when he got out of bed. He thought I was still sleeping. I walked quietly backwards into the hallway and then turned around and went back into my office. I opened the laptop again, guessing he would realize I was not in the bed when he returned. About 10 or 15 minutes later, he stuck his head in my office door. "How long have you been awake?" he asked. I told him an hour and a half. He thought I had been in my office the whole time. He had no idea that I had caught him jerking off.

Every now and then I feel him slip quietly out of bed. I can hear him tiptoe out of the bedroom and gently close the door behind him. Now I know why.

 

[cascadiabound]

Sounds like passive aggression...don't know if that's good or bad, here.

I also am dubious about "quiet quitting" in the family context.

Responding "ok" and then not doing it or doing the opposite of what you said OK to can work with people with whom you do not have an ongoing relationship.

"OK" sounds like assent/agreement and I think it may be a mistake to give that kind of signal to people like your MIL. She'll just come back and accuse you of lying to her or something else that might create completely unnecessary drama.

Acknowledge that you heard whatever they said and make no indication you agree, will take their advice or bend to their will. It gives other people less ground.

Just my 2 cents

 

[policywank]

I could not sleep one night because of bad cramps. I got out of bed and went into the front bedroom in our house which I use as a home office. I opened my laptop, did some work, and after about an hour or so, I closed the laptop and headed back to bed. As I exited the hallway into our family room, Robbie was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, jerking off. I guess he did not notice that I was not in the bed when he got out of bed. He thought I was still sleeping. I walked quietly backwards into the hallway and then turned around and went back into my office. I opened the laptop again, guessing he would realize I was not in the bed when he returned. About 10 or 15 minutes later, he stuck his head in my office door. "How long have you been awake?" he asked. I told him an hour and a half. He thought I had been in my office the whole time. He had no idea that I had caught him jerking off.

Every now and then I feel him slip quietly out of bed. I can hear him tiptoe out of the bedroom and gently close the door behind him. Now I know why.

The type of control that NancyPan's wife exercises over his ejaculations (and which I exercise over my husband's ejaculations) can be a very powerful instrument in an FLR. It requires a high level of submission and obedience for a man to resist.

 

[9to5]

I agree in a FLM she should have control of his orgasm. thats why the chastity cage. to get permission to orgasm with or without her

 

[policywank]

I also am dubious about "quiet quitting" in the family context.

Responding "ok" and then not doing it or doing the opposite of what you said OK to can work with people with whom you do not have an ongoing relationship.

"OK" sounds like assent/agreement and I think it may be a mistake to give that kind of signal to people like your MIL. She'll just come back and accuse you of lying to her or something else that might create completely unnecessary drama.

Acknowledge that you heard whatever they said and make no indication you agree, will take their advice or bend to their will. It gives other people less ground.

Just my 2 cents

Agreed. Even though they have no right to try to tell you how to live, family is family. So, I would be wary of misleading them into believing you will heed their input. Better to not give any indication of acceptance so that if they challenge you on it later you can say you heard them but never agreed. That response unto itself will be a powerful means of sending the message that they can't compel you to do anything and that you are taking control of what happens in your life.

 

[naughty_stories]

I could not sleep one night because of bad cramps. I got out of bed and went into the front bedroom in our house which I use as a home office. I opened my laptop, did some work, and after about an hour or so, I closed the laptop and headed back to bed. As I exited the hallway into our family room, Robbie was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, jerking off. I guess he did not notice that I was not in the bed when he got out of bed. He thought I was still sleeping. I walked quietly backwards into the hallway and then turned around and went back into my office. I opened the laptop again, guessing he would realize I was not in the bed when he returned. About 10 or 15 minutes later, he stuck his head in my office door. "How long have you been awake?" he asked. I told him an hour and a half. He thought I had been in my office the whole time. He had no idea that I had caught him jerking off.

Every now and then I feel him slip quietly out of bed. I can hear him tiptoe out of the bedroom and gently close the door behind him. Now I know why.

First rule is going to have to be no masturbation without Permission. The cage might be necessary.

 

[cascadiabound]

Submission is a complex dynamic and it's different for everyone. There is lots and lots to read here if you go looking for it with lots of people's takes on what submission looks like/feels like to them. You might do some reading about that. I think it may inform your understanding about the feeling "less than" thing. There have been several men who have chimed in on this thread about how submission works for them and I think that's been really helpful. But I think you could get insight also from women (like me) who identify as sexually submissive/prefer certain kinds of control/being led at home, but present very differently in public/professional settings. I don't want to monopolize on your thread, but if you'd like links to other threads let me know.

I also had a thought about your scenario when you were up in the middle of the night with cramps and R was secretly masterbating in another room. Idk if this is true for you, but having an orgasm, or a whole bunch of orgasms was always a great treatment for cramps for me. Maybe think about requiring R to service you to help relieve your pain? Oral until you come or some combination of oral, fingers, toys- whatever works for you. I think it could really play into his obedience/submission to service you while you are menstruating. And of course, I'd recommend he has to clean everything up afterwards as you quickly fall asleep.

 

[LeaHaven]

Sounds like passive aggression...don't know if that's good or bad, here.

I am not sure if it is good or bad either, Twister, but I no longer care. For so long I have been polite and respectful, and I have tried to be understanding, but now I realize that Robbie's mom has used my politeness to further manipulate our marriage. In a thread around here somewhere, someone warned me that I needed to fight back, and they said I don't need to be nice about it. I disagreed at that time, but I wish I could find that thread, because that person was right, and I would like to tell them so. Erin has been telling me the same thing for the longest time. She never would have put up with Robbie's mom the way I have. But I am always the smiling Ms. Polite. That has to end.

And you know, once again here I am recognizing things about myself and my relationships that I never would seen if I was not out here discussing my situation and receiving all this feedback. In a dm just now, I wrote...

There is no "second round" with Robbie. Once he cums, 5 minutes later he will be sawing logs.

But I keep losing track of something I told myself many months ago. I am no longer going to worry about what Robbie wants. If he can't speak up, then that is HIS problem. I am going to worry about me and enjoy my life and my marriage as I see fit.

Robbie and I are stuck at home today. The roads are frozen, and no one is going anywhere. It could not have come at a better time. I have a backlog of laundry that needs done, and I know just the boy to do it. He can cook dinner tonight, too. And since I am feeling quite horny today (like that's anything new), I think there are other duties I will also have him attend to.

Hmm...I really like being married.

 

[NancyPan]

The type of control that NancyPan's wife exercises over his ejaculations (and which I exercise over my husband's ejaculations) can be a very powerful instrument in an FLR. It requires a high level of submission and obedience for a man to resist.

I absolutely agree with @policywank about this. When we decided to move our relationship into an FLR (I asked for it), I “confessed” my masturbation to my wife and asked for her help to stop. Why? Because, mostly, I believe that she should decide whether I deserve a release as a reward in the context of our FLR, but also I enjoy sustained arousal, know that I am not capable of handling this decision (because I was a compulsive masturbatory), and I want to submit to her.

I have not been in chastity, but I will not lie to her. In the beginning she would ask. I stop myself with the knowledge that I would feel horrible for breaking my promise to her, silently renewing my pledge of submission that my penis does not belong to me, and the knowledge that I will have to tell her if I am naughty. On the couple occasions that I spurted without permission, I did tell her and I was given most unpleasant consequences (which I deserved and I know we’re good for me).

I know that, for us, our FLR would not work if I was jerking off whenever I wanted. Her control of not only my orgasms but when and if I am allowed to worship her keeps me focused, motivated, and reinforces the power dynamic that I need. She is my Queen. “It” belongs to her, not to me.

 

[cascadiabound]

I am not sure if it is good or bad either, Twister, but I no longer care. For so long I have been polite and respectful, and I have tried to be understanding, but now I realize that Robbie's mom has used my politeness to further manipulate our marriage. In a thread around here somewhere, someone warned me that I needed to fight back, and they said I don't need to be nice about it. I disagreed at that time, but I wish I could find that thread, because that person was right, and I would like to tell them so. Erin has been telling me the same thing for the longest time. She never would have put up with Robbie's mom the way I have. But I am always the smiling Ms. Polite. That has to end.

TLDR: Don't pick fights with family you don't have to. Avoid regret. Advice from an old person.
~~~~~~~~~
It sounds like you really do need to reframe your communication style with your MIL, and saying "no, nope, not doing that" or similar clear communication in response to her trying to direct you/Robbie/your marriage is absolutely necessary. But I would advise against being outright rude. You don't ever want Robbie to feel that he ought to protect his mom from you or defend her. And if things become downright confrontational and it appears/is because you were "mean" to her, it might get you in a little bit of a jam.

Part of why (maybe a lot of why) Robbie feels comfortable and wants you to be in control, is because his mother was in control of him similarly for all of his growing up years. She is not going to give that up willingly. But, like I said before, Robbie has to be clear that he always has to choose you.

Be firm. Take no prisoners. Don't acquiese to her wishes when they don't match yours. But family is family. Don't pick fights you don't have to. Don't get into debates. You can even try saying, "If you love us, you'll let us live the way that works for us." Or similar.

In the end, depending on how truly toxic your MIL is, the only option may be to withdraw from her. But if that becomes clear because of her bad behaviors towards the two of you, that's preferable to it looking like you caused that break.

Idk. I guess I'm just old enough to have lived through a bunch of really complicated family relationships. There were times I was really angry (with cause) at this person or another. In hindsight, I am really grateful that my younger self held my tongue in spite of my anger and allowed simple distance and choosing to not engage be my response. If I had broken some of those relationships in ways that I could have, and could have justified doing so with all logic, later important opportunities would not have been possible. Opportunities that I believe resulted in preventing the suicide of my brother (who is and has always been beloved to me).

Life is complicated. We can't choose the families we are born to or the people our family marries. Pick your battles. Don't fight battles that you can simply disengage from. Choose the people you spend your time with and who you invest in - they become your "family" - your chosen family. The ones that love you unconditionally, support you, never judge you, show up for you. The rest, just leave to the side as much as you can.

Another example: my dad was an incredibly toxic and narcissistic person and his second wife was even more so. (Talk about 2 people who deserved each other). I learned when I was about your age and early in my marriage, that anything I said to either of them that was true and important to me would eventually be turned against me in cruel and sadistic ways. I learned to not give them any ammunition. I limited my contact with them as much as I could. I spent as little time as possible with them and still maintain family connection. I learned to never ever ask them for anything. And I limited my conversations to the most banal topics. The kinds of things I might say to the Target cashier as I'm checking out. Perfectly nice - but no content of any emotional weight. I turned any conversation to be about them- tell me about what they were doing, etc. They loved talking about themselves anyway so it was easy to not share anything about my life that mattered. I'm not going to pretend it was a satisfactory relationship... but they lost all power to hurt me. And when he died, I had no regrets. I was a good daughter. I avoided fights that would have harmed me even more than him. I'm glad he's dead and I no longer have to put energy into protecting myself, but I also don't wish I'd handled it all differently.

 

[twister947]

TLDR: Don't pick fights with family you don't have to. Avoid regret. Advice from an old person.
~~~~~~~~~
It sounds like you really do need to reframe your communication style with your MIL, but saying "no, nope, not doing that" or similar clear communication in response to her trying to direct you/Robbie/your marriage is absolutely necessary. But I would advise against being outright rude. You don't ever want Robbie to feel that he ought to protect his mom from you or defend her. And if things become downright confrontational and it appears/is because you were "mean" to her, it might get you in a little bit of a jam.

Part of why (maybe a lot of why) Robbie feels comfortable and wants you to be in control, is because his mother was in control of him similarly for all of his growing up years. She is not going to give that up willingly. But, like I said before, Robbie has to be clear that he always has to choose you.

Be firm. Take no prisoners. Don't acquiese to her wishes when they don't match yours. But family is family. Don't pick fights you don't have to. Don't get into debates. You can even try saying, "If you love us, you'll let us live the way that works for us." Or similar.

In the end, depending on how truly toxic your MIL is, the only option may be to withdraw from her. But if that becomes clear because of her bad behaviors towards the two of you, that's preferable to it looking like you caused that break.

Idk. I guess I'm just old enough to have lived through a bunch of really complicated family relationships. There were times I was really angry (with cause) at this person or another. In hindsight, I am really grateful that my younger self held my tongue in spite of my anger and allowed simple distance and choosing to not engage be my response. If I had broken some of those relationships in ways that I could have, and could have justified doing so with all logic, later important opportunities would not have been possible. Opportunities that I believe resulted in preventing the suicide of my brother (who is and has always been beloved to me).

Life is complicated. We can't choose the families we are born to or the people our family marries. Pick your battles. Don't fight battles that you can simply disengage from. Choose the people you spend your time with and who you invest in - they become your "family" - your chosen family. The ones that love you unconditionally, support you, never judge you, show up for you. The rest, just leave to the side as much as you can.

Another example: my dad was an incredibly toxic and narcissistic person and his second wife was even more so. (Talk about 2 people who deserved each other). I learned when I was about your age and early in my marriage, that anything I said to either of them that was true and important to me would eventually be turned against me in cruel and sadistic ways. I learned to not give them any ammunition. I limited my contact with them as much as I could. I spent as little time as possible with them and still maintain family connection. I learned to never ever ask them for anything. And I limited my conversations to the most banal topics. The kinds of things I might say to the Target cashier as I'm checking out. Perfectly nice - but no content of any emotional weight. I turned any conversation to be about them- tell me about what they were doing, etc. They loved talking about themselves anyway so it was easy to not share anything about my life that mattered. I'm not going to pretend it was a satisfactory relationship... but they lost all power to hurt me. And when he died, I had no regrets. I was a good daughter. I avoided fights that would have harmed me even more than him. I'm glad he's dead and I no longer have to put energy into protecting myself, but I also don't wish I'd handled it all differently.

Applause

 

[IARainman]

Every now and then I feel him slip quietly out of bed. I can hear him tiptoe out of the bedroom and gently close the door behind him. Now I know why.

You should sprinkle a few legos on the path out, then try to stifle your giggles as he tries to deal with it.

 

[twister947]

Re: arguing
Just.
Don't.
It is a dead-end street. Tempers flare, words are spoken that can't be taken back, and will not ever be forgotten.

Another old person's opinion.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

TLDR: Don't pick fights with family you don't have to. Avoid regret. Advice from an old person.
~~~~~~~~~
It sounds like you really do need to reframe your communication style with your MIL, and saying "no, nope, not doing that" or similar clear communication in response to her trying to direct you/Robbie/your marriage is absolutely necessary. But I would advise against being outright rude. You don't ever want Robbie to feel that he ought to protect his mom from you or defend her. And if things become downright confrontational and it appears/is because you were "mean" to her, it might get you in a little bit of a jam.

Part of why (maybe a lot of why) Robbie feels comfortable and wants you to be in control, is because his mother was in control of him similarly for all of his growing up years. She is not going to give that up willingly. But, like I said before, Robbie has to be clear that he always has to choose you.

Be firm. Take no prisoners. Don't acquiese to her wishes when they don't match yours. But family is family. Don't pick fights you don't have to. Don't get into debates. You can even try saying, "If you love us, you'll let us live the way that works for us." Or similar.

In the end, depending on how truly toxic your MIL is, the only option may be to withdraw from her. But if that becomes clear because of her bad behaviors towards the two of you, that's preferable to it looking like you caused that break.

Idk. I guess I'm just old enough to have lived through a bunch of really complicated family relationships. There were times I was really angry (with cause) at this person or another. In hindsight, I am really grateful that my younger self held my tongue in spite of my anger and allowed simple distance and choosing to not engage be my response. If I had broken some of those relationships in ways that I could have, and could have justified doing so with all logic, later important opportunities would not have been possible. Opportunities that I believe resulted in preventing the suicide of my brother (who is and has always been beloved to me).

Life is complicated. We can't choose the families we are born to or the people our family marries. Pick your battles. Don't fight battles that you can simply disengage from. Choose the people you spend your time with and who you invest in - they become your "family" - your chosen family. The ones that love you unconditionally, support you, never judge you, show up for you. The rest, just leave to the side as much as you can.

Another example: my dad was an incredibly toxic and narcissistic person and his second wife was even more so. (Talk about 2 people who deserved each other). I learned when I was about your age and early in my marriage, that anything I said to either of them that was true and important to me would eventually be turned against me in cruel and sadistic ways. I learned to not give them any ammunition. I limited my contact with them as much as I could. I spent as little time as possible with them and still maintain family connection. I learned to never ever ask them for anything. And I limited my conversations to the most banal topics. The kinds of things I might say to the Target cashier as I'm checking out. Perfectly nice - but no content of any emotional weight. I turned any conversation to be about them- tell me about what they were doing, etc. They loved talking about themselves anyway so it was easy to not share anything about my life that mattered. I'm not going to pretend it was a satisfactory relationship... but they lost all power to hurt me. And when he died, I had no regrets. I was a good daughter. I avoided fights that would have harmed me even more than him. I'm glad he's dead and I no longer have to put energy into protecting myself, but I also don't wish I'd handled it all differently.

Wow, this is so good and so heartfelt.

 

[LeaHaven]

TLDR: Don't pick fights with family you don't have to. Avoid regret. Advice from an old person.
~~~~~~~~~
It sounds like you really do need to reframe your communication style with your MIL, and saying "no, nope, not doing that" or similar clear communication in response to her trying to direct you/Robbie/your marriage is absolutely necessary. But I would advise against being outright rude. You don't ever want Robbie to feel that he ought to protect his mom from you or defend her. And if things become downright confrontational and it appears/is because you were "mean" to her, it might get you in a little bit of a jam.

Part of why (maybe a lot of why) Robbie feels comfortable and wants you to be in control, is because his mother was in control of him similarly for all of his growing up years. She is not going to give that up willingly. But, like I said before, Robbie has to be clear that he always has to choose you.

Be firm. Take no prisoners. Don't acquiese to her wishes when they don't match yours. But family is family. Don't pick fights you don't have to. Don't get into debates. You can even try saying, "If you love us, you'll let us live the way that works for us." Or similar.

In the end, depending on how truly toxic your MIL is, the only option may be to withdraw from her. But if that becomes clear because of her bad behaviors towards the two of you, that's preferable to it looking like you caused that break.

Idk. I guess I'm just old enough to have lived through a bunch of really complicated family relationships. There were times I was really angry (with cause) at this person or another. In hindsight, I am really grateful that my younger self held my tongue in spite of my anger and allowed simple distance and choosing to not engage be my response. If I had broken some of those relationships in ways that I could have, and could have justified doing so with all logic, later important opportunities would not have been possible. Opportunities that I believe resulted in preventing the suicide of my brother (who is and has always been beloved to me).

Life is complicated. We can't choose the families we are born to or the people our family marries. Pick your battles. Don't fight battles that you can simply disengage from. Choose the people you spend your time with and who you invest in - they become your "family" - your chosen family. The ones that love you unconditionally, support you, never judge you, show up for you. The rest, just leave to the side as much as you can.

Another example: my dad was an incredibly toxic and narcissistic person and his second wife was even more so. (Talk about 2 people who deserved each other). I learned when I was about your age and early in my marriage, that anything I said to either of them that was true and important to me would eventually be turned against me in cruel and sadistic ways. I learned to not give them any ammunition. I limited my contact with them as much as I could. I spent as little time as possible with them and still maintain family connection. I learned to never ever ask them for anything. And I limited my conversations to the most banal topics. The kinds of things I might say to the Target cashier as I'm checking out. Perfectly nice - but no content of any emotional weight. I turned any conversation to be about them- tell me about what they were doing, etc. They loved talking about themselves anyway so it was easy to not share anything about my life that mattered. I'm not going to pretend it was a satisfactory relationship... but they lost all power to hurt me. And when he died, I had no regrets. I was a good daughter. I avoided fights that would have harmed me even more than him. I'm glad he's dead and I no longer have to put energy into protecting myself, but I also don't wish I'd handled it all differently.

I have never picked a fight in my life, and I never would. That is so not my personality.

 

[cascadiabound]

I have never picked a fight in my life, and I never would. That is so not my personality.

You got this.
Maybe I could have summarized my TLDR differently.
I wasn't accusing you of picking fights or being inclined to. Just trying to share a little of my story that informs how I think about this stuff. And threads like this are useful for so many people besides just you. Sometimes I make comments that I hope might be generally useful, not just useful to *you* in particular.

And I was directly responding to this part of your post

"...someone warned me that I needed to fight back, and they said I don't need to be nice about it. I disagreed at that time, but I wish I could find that thread, because that person was right..."

Fighting back and picking fights are different things, but they can have similar consequences. Definitely stop letting her manipulate you any more. And probably you've put up with too much BS from her for too long and that needs to stop too.

I remember many years ago feeling really frustrated that my bf was bending to his parents more than I thought he should. I recall telling him that he needed to decide when it was time to live his own life and be a grown up. I told him it was time and I would back him up. He just needed to fucking do it.

 

[naughty_stories]

I have never picked a fight in my life, and I never would. That is so not my personality.

Don't think of it as picking a fight. Think about it as standing up for yourself and your marriage.

 

[LeaHaven]

Can't one of you out there make this frigid weather go away? I hate it! It was 17 degrees when I got up this morning. One morning when Robbie left for work, I checked my phone and it was 16 degrees. That was when I decided I wanted him to quit work. Although the idea of him quitting work was a seed Erin had planted in my head probably like a month before.

The new cock cage arrived yesterday. The box was sitting on the front stoop when I got home from work, and I didn't think about it being the cage. When I brought it inside and opened the box, I was shocked to think it had been sitting outside our house for God knows how long. Imagine if a porch pirate stole THAT! OMG! How embarrassing that would be!

It's a good thing Robbie has strong legs, because he's going to need them to carry this steel dungeon! This cage is weighty, and I like that! It's called, "No Escape," and just seeing it gets me a little aroused. I can't wait to put this thing to use! And by the way, in a dm someone said I should get the lock engraved with my initials. Done. I pick them up at lunchtime today (I got two engraved).

Also btw, in another dm a guy told me he has a 6.5 inch cock. I went and got a ruler to see what 6.5 inches looks like, and that looks huge! I told him that, and he said "no one has ever told me that before." I think those were his exact words. He said he wanted to see his wife enjoy a big cock. Isn't 6.5 inches already huge?

And one last thing. Quite a few people have said that I should tell Robbie he is not allowed to cum without my permission. In other words, he is not allowed to go hide somewhere and jerk off. I knew I could not tell him that in the normal course of the day, so I waited until he and I were having sex. In the heat of passion, he will at least admit to stuff. So two nights ago, we had our usual routine where he gives me oral and then I usually jerk him off (give him a handjob?). But on this night I told him to jerk himself and, per another person's suggestion, I told him not to cum until I said he could. He was naked, kind of propped up against the headboard with his legs straight out and spread, jerking away, and I leaned up to his ear and whispered, "If you cum, I'm going to tell Erin you cum too fast." (She already knows, but he doesn't know that.) I think what I said aroused him, because his face became so humble, and he looked at me like I was the supreme goddess of his world. I liked that!! He jerked a few more times, and then had to abruptly stop to avoid cumming. I gently stroked it, and he quickly pulled my hand away. "Wait! Wait!" he exclaimed with great urgency. He closed his eyes and laid there waiting for the sensations to subside. After a few seconds, I took hold of his erection, and he looked worried that he might cum, so I just held it. I did not move my hand.

"I tell you when you can cum, right?" I said. Robbie nodded. "And that's the way it is, isn't it?" Robbie nodded again. "So then you don't cum ever, no matter where you are, no matter what time it is, without my permission. Right?" Robbie's eyes widened, and he looked into my eyes like my words were the most wonderful things he had ever heard.
Then he nodded, "That's right."

"If you do," I said, "and if I find out, there will be a punishment. You understand?"

Robbie nodded like he was happy about it, and I got the biggest smile on my face. God, how that aroused me! I told him, "You can cum now, baby." He stared into my eyes while he jerked his cock and in all of 5 seconds, he ejaculated all over himself. I like that too. I am not sure why.

God! I am LOVING this!!

Have a nice day everyone! I will respond to posts and messages as soon as I can.

 

[9to5]

so nice to hear what you 2 are doing. I love to hear and hope you keep this up for him and all us here

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Fabulous update, I love how direct you’re being with him, he’s clearly enjoying that. You might want to have him show you what he’s been sneaking away to watch, it will most likely add to his humiliation, but also give you ideas on what he’s looking for.

He’s also clearly looking to be punished and is turned on by it. There’s tons of suggestions in the forums on what punishment can look like, but it’s a good bet that he’s probably looking for impact play which you might enjoy.

However, based on your comments on the kind of things that have been turning you on, consider making your Robbie do exercises for you naked. A favorite of mine is to have my sub do planks naked, while I rest my feet on her backside, I’ll set difficult but reachable times for her to achieve with the promise of more punishment for every second she comes up short.

I’m glad you’re both having so much fun. Enjoy the cold weather, nothing like a little exercise to keep warm

 

[LeaHaven]

The guy who did the engraving on my two little locks also polished them! And he didn't charge me any extra for it! He called me later in the day when I dropped them off and asked me if I would liked them polished. I thought he was just going to clean them up or something. I was like, "sure!" Although they looked perfectly fine to me as they were. But they now have a mirror finish! They look fantastic! The initials are beautiful! I can't believe how nice these turned out! I can't wait to see the look on Robbie's face when he sees all this. It will be all I can do to wait another week to use these and the new cage.