Ldr

[silkee_A]

Hello all,

I was wondering if in the past there has been a thread about long distance relationships? Good, bad, or otherwise. I'd love to hear some of your comments. I am sorry if I am repeating something that may have been discussed to death earlier.

silkee

 

[Desdemona]

For me, LDRs are very stressful.

I *need* the touch and eye contact that comes with skin-to-skin relationships. I need to smell and taste him. I need to feel the various sensations that occur with our play. I need to do simple everyday things also, like sharing meals or going for a walk in the park together. I need all those things to help develop our relationship and to help me learn to trust.

I know some people who are quite successful with LDRs but it takes an enourmous amount of effort from both parties. I have watched others experience great heartache. I personally, have been burned.

Additionally, if you are a new sub, in a LDR, you can't actually experience certain things. It remains more of a fantasy than your reality. How can you know that you like a spanking better than being cropped if you've never experienced either?

 

[HzDomme]

How can you know that you like a spanking better than being cropped if you've never experienced either?

I agree Desdemona but take it one step further...
How can you even know if you like it at all? Reality sometimes turns out to be totally different from fantasy. No matter how much you think you want something your own reactions may surprise you.

 

[Desdemona]

I agree Desdemona but take it one step further...
How can you even know if you like it at all? Reality sometimes turns out to be totally different from fantasy. No matter how much you think you want something your own reactions may surprise you.

My point exactly. I just failed to say it.

 

[lovetoread]

I see you already found it, but for those that have not: http://www.literotica.com/forum/sho...d=54172&highlight=long+distance+relationships

Tis a good place to visit.

 

[cellis]

I have to agree with everything that has been said. LDR in the case of just regular nilla relationships are very hard to manage and maintain... but when there is a element of BDSM added... oh well I need the flesh... I need the skin and the smell and the taste of it.

 

[silkee_A]

Thank you lovetoread ... also thanks to the rest of you who responded.

silkee_A

 

[lark sparrow]

Good, bad, or otherwise. I'd love to hear some of your comments.

I am in a LDR, silkee. I have met and spent time with Her r/l, but the majority of our time has been daily, countless hours on the phone/online. (16 months together, and a year collared, in a several days.) Our intention is live-in, M/s - I say intention, because there is alot of time between here and there... I am cautious. She understands this and accepts it, as long as I am committed and doing my part lol.

We are only a few states away, and neither of us have r/l partners, vanilla or kinky, that need to be worked out before this can happen. It is difficult to have all the distance between.. I guess on the bright side one can say that we each have all the freedom in world, no ties and complications of living together which can cause people to stay in relationships for reasons other than love, and we are still together. Like any relationship, online or r/l, living together would be an adjustment, and could make or break the relationship.

I had no intention of meeting someone online to begin a committed, LDR relationship but it happened, and so far I have not been able come up with a good enough reason to discard it because it is a LDR. I had already experienced BDSM r/l and had kink in relationships a few years before I met Her, but this is a first for both of us, in the "intention" or commitment to move to a live-in M/s relationship. It may or may not work out as we envision it now... one day at a time... like any relationship.

 

[silkee_A]

Re: Re: Ldr

Hi larksparrow, thank you for your response. I just wanted to add that I have been in a LDR for almost 5 years now and like you and yours .. we hope to be together someday. Neither Master nor myself were looking for a relationship, it just happened.. Just as it does in "real time" to people.
Anyway I wish you happiness and luck... and again thank you for sharing with me.

silkee_A

 

[lark sparrow]

Thank you, silkee. Wow... five years, that's a long commitment to a LDR. From the perspective of one year, I don't know if I could do it. But then I never would have thought even one year was much of a possibility before this. As much as time can crawl, it still flies by at an astonishingly scary rate in hind sight. The Internet continues to rapidly change our lives through it's use!

Being in a LDR has at times, brought all sorts of questions to my mind about motivations and conveniences through it's course, but I could find plenty to question skin-to-skin if I was in cautious and questioning mode as well. I guess one of the bottom lines for me is that I was not specifically looking for someone to live with - that was and is not an immediate need, though through partnering with Her that has become a desire, and a plan. The other is simply loving Her and feeling as though we fit in some important ways, and also that I feel I'm continuing to grow rather than stagnate, despite the distance. Best wishes to you and yours as well.

 

[NemoAlia]

Here's one specifically about BDSM relationships:

Long Distance Relationships: BDSM style begun by MissTaken on 03-02-2002

 

[silkee_A]

Here's one specifically about BDSM relationships:

Long Distance Relationships: BDSM style begun by MissTaken on 03-02-2002

Thank you NemoAlia for the info, it is much appreciated!

silkee_A

 

[NemoAlia]

You're welcome! It's my way of offering input when I have no real advice to give. Good luck!

 

[maddi]

just offering support

W/we have a LDR for sometimes months at a time even though we are married and have children. He travels alot for business and can be gone for up to three months at a time. We love each other greatly and are concerned about the effect it will have on us long term.

Although it is not the same, I understand a small part of what you must go through and hope that someday you can find the best solution for you.

Maddi

PS to everyone: Thank you for the links.