Laughter is Contagious

[techsan]

Nahhhhhh..........like riding a bicycle

Could be, but it has me worried ...ROFL!

 

[techsan]

From rozezwild . . .

If the UAE takes over US ports, you can expect . . .

 

[techsan]

From rozezwild . . .

If the UAE takes over US ports, you can expect . . . (continued)

 

[techsan]

From rozezwild . . .

A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the hospital when, during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am very sorry but this man has a serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they'll explode and he'll die within minutes

"Oh, well in that case, I guess it's ok," commented the woman.

In the very next room they could see that a female nurse was performing oral sex on a different male patient. Again the woman screamed "Oh my god! How can that be justified?"

The doctor replied......."Same illness, better health plan"

 

[techsan]

From rozezwild . . .

A Wish for All of the Difficult People in Your Life:

 

[techsan]

From rozezwild . . .

1. CLICK ON THE LINK "COFFEE MACHINE" (BELOW)

2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE

3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK

4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY

5. CLICK ON "APRI"

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't forget to click on "APRI"

COFFEE MACHINE

 

[pleaz_me]

Could be, but it has me worried ...ROFL!

You'll never get old sweetie..........and if you happen to develop Alzheimers, we'll be here to remind you daily of what it's purpose is

 

[pleaz_me]

From rozezwild . . .

A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the hospital when, during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor that was leading the tour explained, "I am very sorry but this man has a serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they'll explode and he'll die within minutes

"Oh, well in that case, I guess it's ok," commented the woman.

In the very next room they could see that a female nurse was performing oral sex on a different male patient. Again the woman screamed "Oh my god! How can that be justified?"

The doctor replied......."Same illness, better health plan"

LMAO!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want THAT health plan!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pleaz_me]

From rozezwild . . .

1. CLICK ON THE LINK "COFFEE MACHINE" (BELOW)

2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE

3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK

4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY

5. CLICK ON "APRI"

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't forget to click on "APRI"

COFFEE MACHINE

OMG!!!!!!!!! That is tooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[techsan]

You'll never get old sweetie..........and if you happen to develop Alzheimers, we'll be here to remind you daily of what it's purpose is

Hmmm, some day I'll remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me .... uh, what was this about now???

 

[pleaz_me]

Hmmm, some day I'll remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me that I'm going to remind you that you are going to remind me .... uh, what was this about now???

*large perky breasts and very long hard erections*

 

[techsan]

*large perky breasts and very long hard erections*

Oh, yes, well, I've got one (hopefully it will qualify, although I'm concerned about that word "very") if you'll supply the other and we'll see if we can remember what they are for...!?!

 

[pleaz_me]

Oh, yes, well, I've got one (hopefully it will qualify, although I'm concerned about that word "very") if you'll supply the other and we'll see if we can remember what they are for...!?!

Done deal dear

 

[rozezwild]

Hey, roze? Check this out!!!!!!!!! LMFAOOOOOOOOO

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a44/Jail2/CA18GBTP.gif

OM FREAKING GOD am i that bad when i am PMSing????

 

[rozezwild]

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.


She answered.


(This is great)





"THE TEETH."

OMG i sent that to my granny

 

[rozezwild]

This one is especially for rozezwild, luck7lady, INeedLove and other Michigan ladies . . .

Gotta love those Michigan girls!

Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Indiana, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house, and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Utah . He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, the dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third had married a Michigan girl. He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.

Gotta love those Michigan girls!

HOT FUCKING DAMN -- is that what i need to do????

 

[rozezwild]

I'm just great, baby. Still on top of the world about that news I told you about yesterday.

What did you think about my sniper kitty? When Shreik sent that to me, I laughed so hard I was crying. I can't wait til roze sees it. LMFAO

You just want me to spew is all

 

[rozezwild]

LMAO!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want THAT health plan!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell ya

 

[Jail]

You just want me to spew is all

dammit. you caught that huh? Your yahoo not on, snookums?

 

[rozezwild]

dammit. you caught that huh? Your yahoo not on, snookums?

Nope--- i will turn it on --

 

[wally2450]

Redneck church

You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the finance committee
refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none
of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.


3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says,
"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two
women stand up.


4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer
season is recognized as an official church holiday.


5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church
requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never
been in a hole it couldn't get out of."


6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the choir is known as
the "OK Chorale."


7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... in a congregation of
500 members, there are only seven different last names in the church
directory.


8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people think "rapture"
is what you get when you lift something too heavy.


9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a
#2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.


10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the choir robes were
donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.


11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates
are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.


12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... instead of a bell; you
are called to service by a duck call.


13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his
wife drive matching pickup trucks.


14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is
Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink."


15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet"
applies to huntin' dogs, too.


16. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the final words of the
benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya heah."


God Bless and don't Y'all fergit ta say yer prayers!!!

 

[techsan]

, , ,
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates
are really hubcaps from a'56 Chevy.
. . .
God Bless and don't Y'all fergit ta say yer prayers!!!

LMAO! Lots of good ones in here, Wally but I gotta disagree with #11. The hubcaps on a '56 Chevy are too valuable to collectors, don't think you'd find 'em used this way. Now a '57 Plymouth? That's another thang...lots 'o them rusting out in the weeds...from '58 on...lol

 

[pleaz_me]

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer
season is recognized as an official church holiday.


God Bless and don't Y'all fergit ta say yer prayers!!!

*slowly raises hand* Yup Yup, I goes to that church

 

[techsan]

An atheist was quite incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holidays for them to celebrate.

The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the downtrodden and assigned their sharpest attorney to the case.

The case was brought up before a learned judge who, after listening to the passionate presentation by the ACLU representative, promptly banged his gavel and said, "Case dismissed!"

The ACLU lawyer stood up and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter, and many other observances. And the Jews--why, in addition to Passover, they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah ... and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned back in his chair and simply said, "Obviously your client is too confused to know about or for that matter even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"

The ACLU lawyer pompously said, "We are aware of no such holiday for atheists--just when might that be?"

The judge said "Well, it comes every year at the same time--April 1st!"

 

[rozezwild]

*slowly raises hand* Yup Yup, I goes to that church

Laughing her fucking ass off

I do too that and

You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet"
applies to huntin' dogs, too.
AND
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his
wife drive matching pickup trucks.


There we go that is my life