Laughter is Contagious
- Thread starter techsan
- Start date
- Status
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
BlackWolf65
Alpha Lycan
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2006
- Posts
- 15,721
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show. "Look, it's not the same hat!" or "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece
of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, and as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... two days... and then three days. Finally on the fourth day, the
parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "Okay, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece
of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, and as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... two days... and then three days. Finally on the fourth day, the
parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "Okay, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
LovelyOnes
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Posts
- 589
Hi everyone - I've become addicted to this thread. It's great and I look forward to the laughs each day. 
Hope you haven't seen this one already...
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances &
Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in
New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.
It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them
so uncomfortable. They decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a
cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added some special legs to his barstools which were
the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All five nuns sat up
at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley entered
the bar through the front door with Father McGinty for a cold drink . .
. . they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.
Hope you haven't seen this one already...
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances &
Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in
New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.
It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them
so uncomfortable. They decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a
cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added some special legs to his barstools which were
the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All five nuns sat up
at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley entered
the bar through the front door with Father McGinty for a cold drink . .
. . they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.
Last edited:
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
ROTFLMAO ... I had seen the picture but not the explanation. That makes it funnier.LovelyOnes said:Hi everyone - I've become addicted to this thread. It's great and I look forward to the laughs each day.
Hope you haven't seen this one already...
...
. . they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
carrie-on
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2001
- Posts
- 7,010
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona
when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along
and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on
the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian
would let out a "Ye-e-e-e Ha-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the
surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the
local service station, yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e- Ha-a-a-a!" and
rode off.
"What did you to do get that Indian so excited?" asked the service
station attendant.
"Nothing, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around
his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off," the
woman answered.
"Lady," the attendants said, "Indians don't use saddles."
when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along
and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on
the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian
would let out a "Ye-e-e-e Ha-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the
surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the
local service station, yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e- Ha-a-a-a!" and
rode off.
"What did you to do get that Indian so excited?" asked the service
station attendant.
"Nothing, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around
his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off," the
woman answered.
"Lady," the attendants said, "Indians don't use saddles."
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy
nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.
**********************************************
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the
house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,beach stuff or mountain
stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
**********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
**********************************************
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
**********************************************
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell
you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
**********************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I
don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when
I'm driving."
**********************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the
Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been
looking for Herman for 51 years.
nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.
**********************************************
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the
house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,beach stuff or mountain
stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
**********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
**********************************************
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
**********************************************
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell
you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
**********************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I
don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when
I'm driving."
**********************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the
Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been
looking for Herman for 51 years.
techsan
...just chugging along
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2005
- Posts
- 6,165
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2002
- Posts
- 135,693
Jail
Mrs. Flameman
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2004
- Posts
- 30,188
*giggles* it didnt show what I was concentrating onkayte said:
- Status
