Laughter is Contagious
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techsan
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techsan
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ROTFLMAO!!!
Just got back home a short time ago and have been catching up on the thread, laughing my ass off! Great job, folks, all of you.
Here's a little variation of the evolution theory ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Evolution.jpg
Just got back home a short time ago and have been catching up on the thread, laughing my ass off! Great job, folks, all of you.
Here's a little variation of the evolution theory ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Evolution.jpg
techsan
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- Feb 10, 2005
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FEMA's guidelines for rebuilding New Orleans include ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/RebuildingNO.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/RebuildingNO.jpg
techsan
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JUST IN:
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.
God Bless America!
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.
God Bless America!
techsan
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THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE THESE AROUND - IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE Remember They Vote!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people wer e too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution! . . . . . . . . . . . . These people Vote
=======
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff". . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
==========
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . . . . . . . .He ALSO votes!
==========
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
==========
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . . . . . . My sister ALSO votes!
==========
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount . . . . . . . He ALSO votes!
==========
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. . . . . . . . . My friend ALSO votes!
=========
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a traine d professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? ".
. . . . . . . . SHE ALSO votes!
=========
While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 . . . . . . . . Yep, he votes too.
=========
Now you know who elects the politicians!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people wer e too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution! . . . . . . . . . . . . These people Vote
=======
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff". . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
==========
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . . . . . . . .He ALSO votes!
==========
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . . . . . . . She ALSO votes!
==========
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . . . . . . My sister ALSO votes!
==========
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount . . . . . . . He ALSO votes!
==========
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. . . . . . . . . My friend ALSO votes!
=========
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a traine d professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? ".
. . . . . . . . SHE ALSO votes!
=========
While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 . . . . . . . . Yep, he votes too.
=========
Now you know who elects the politicians!
techsan
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oh no!!
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.
When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper, so he used his hand.
In his haste to get back to class he forgot to wash, so he made a closed fist to hide it. When he got back to class, his teacher asked,
"What do you have in your hand?"
The boy said, "A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principal's office and the Principal asked him, what do you have in your hand?"
So the little boy said,"A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent home and his mom asked him, "What do you have in Your hand?" So again the little boy said, "A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand, he will get scared away."
Then his mom got really mad and yelled, "Open your hand NOW!!"
The little boy opened his hand and said, "Oh great mom--now look what you did. You scared the s--- out of him!"
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.
When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper, so he used his hand.
In his haste to get back to class he forgot to wash, so he made a closed fist to hide it. When he got back to class, his teacher asked,
"What do you have in your hand?"
The boy said, "A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principal's office and the Principal asked him, what do you have in your hand?"
So the little boy said,"A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent home and his mom asked him, "What do you have in Your hand?" So again the little boy said, "A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand, he will get scared away."
Then his mom got really mad and yelled, "Open your hand NOW!!"
The little boy opened his hand and said, "Oh great mom--now look what you did. You scared the s--- out of him!"
techsan
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Why women live longer than men (1)
Jacks? Who needs jacks?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger1.jpg
A little ingenuity works everytime, right?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger2.jpg
And those wimps at the utilities need ropes and spiked boots and all that stuff!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger3.jpg
I can't figure out why this driver got fired...!?!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger4.jpg
"That sure is a lot of gear for a little ol' cannister of chlorine gas, guys!"
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger5.jpg
Jacks? Who needs jacks?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger1.jpg
A little ingenuity works everytime, right?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger2.jpg
And those wimps at the utilities need ropes and spiked boots and all that stuff!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger3.jpg
I can't figure out why this driver got fired...!?!
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger4.jpg
"That sure is a lot of gear for a little ol' cannister of chlorine gas, guys!"
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger5.jpg
techsan
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Why women live longer (2)
Let's see: get barefoot, put aluminum ladder in water, start using power tools. What can go wrong?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger6.jpg
How intoxicated do you have to be for this to look like a good idea?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger7.jpg
Let's see: get barefoot, put aluminum ladder in water, start using power tools. What can go wrong?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger6.jpg
How intoxicated do you have to be for this to look like a good idea?
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/LiveLonger7.jpg
techsan
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Flat Tummy
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
bouncing up and down.
The mom quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, dresses
quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and dad doing?"
The mother replies, "Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to
get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time." says! the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled?
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up!"
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
bouncing up and down.
The mom quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, dresses
quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and dad doing?"
The mother replies, "Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to
get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time." says! the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled?
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up!"
copperbutterfly
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 21, 2004
- Posts
- 8,770
techsan said:
LMAO - LMAO
mmmmmmm look who is back! We've missed you. You know that don't you?
Welcome home, Techsan.....now don't go away again! 
Last edited:
copperbutterfly
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2004
- Posts
- 8,770
I've been saving this one!!!!!!
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were
little!:
Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
~~~~~~~~
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said: " Elegant Lady,
~~~~~~~~
I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
~~~~~~~~
and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
~~~~~~~~
grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so.
little!:
Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
~~~~~~~~
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said: " Elegant Lady,
~~~~~~~~
I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
~~~~~~~~
and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
~~~~~~~~
grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sautéed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so.
copperbutterfly
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2004
- Posts
- 8,770
techsan said:
YEP! but evidently not for long!!!!!
Mr Duncan 001
Literotica Guru
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- May 10, 2005
- Posts
- 1,574
I sure hope this works.
techsan
...just chugging along
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techsan
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http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Gas6.gif
This ISN'T realistic ... back in 1952, if you paid more than 15 cents a gallon, you didn't pay attention to the sales!
This ISN'T realistic ... back in 1952, if you paid more than 15 cents a gallon, you didn't pay attention to the sales!
Last edited:
techsan
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The latest in guages ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Gas5.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Gas5.jpg
techsan
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- Status
