LadyVer's Flirting 101 Course

[LadyVer]

I'm going to periodically post comments about flirting, a little advice, a few no-nos, etc. If you want to provide some flirting advice as well, feel free to join in. Just remember to keep the comments non-personal, i.e, no attacks or naming names.

PS I will be the first to admit I'm no expert in flirting and flirting can mean different things to different people. I usually just like to kid around on the forums without any goal other than to have fun, but I know sometimes I overdo it and I'm awkward with it. But this is Lit and many of us overdo things and are awkward at times.

Flirting Tip #1
Do not ask any woman over 50 that you don't know or barely know, in real life or anywhere, if she wears granny panties. eek It's just not a good ice breaker. That would be the same as women asking men over 50 if they wear grandpa undies/underwear. If you're trying to impress someone you don't know, there are better questions to ask.

I've been asked this quite a few times by male Litsters who I either don't know or don't know well. My response to the last guy who asked me this was: "This is 2012".

TTFN,
LadyVer
aka Minnie

 

[papadoc19]

Here is a question for you LadyVer...how forward should a guy be in his first pm? Would you suggest something direct or something more slowly played?

 

[LadyVer]

Here is a question for you LadyVer...how forward should a guy be in his first pm? Would you suggest something direct or something more slowly played?

I would suggest slowly played when you don't know someone at all or barely. Why risk annoying the fish you're trying to catch?



PS I would give you an A+ in flirting, doc.

 

[oxphocker]

What advice would you give to a girlfriend that doesn't really know (or at least isn't comfortable) flirting? I am usually the one flirting all the time and it either goes over her head or she ignores it.

 

[southern_gal]

wonderful thread

Flirting can be sooo much fun. If it does not get carried away and someone or both get feelings hurt, it can be lots of fun. I am married and am not into the cyber stuff but I so enjoy a man that can flirt back and just enjoy the back and forth. For what it's worth it can sometimes be difficult to banter with a man because guys seem to get treated a bit rudely sometimes if they cross our lines and some are almost too quick to apologize if I bring out my playful claws.

 

[Christopher2012]

I was sitting in O-Chem one day when I was telling a friend about this hot Asian girl I saw at Chik-Fil-A. He was kind of a player, and he said "Dude, no.... don't go for an Asian girl..."

Me: "What? Why?" (He was a black guy and I'm white)

Him: "Dude, they wear granny panties."

I laughed so hard that I could not control myself when class started. That was the most randomest thing ever but cracked me up so hard.

So every time I meet an Asian woman, I always wonder... Is she wearing granny panties???!!!

 

[LadyVer]

What advice would you give to a girlfriend that doesn't really know (or at least isn't comfortable) flirting? I am usually the one flirting all the time and it either goes over her head or she ignores it.

I would say that flirting is nothing more than teasing or kidding around with someone you're interested in, are in a relationship with or would like to know better. I think where the problem comes in is that it is made into something more than what it is. It's just a way to communicate with people and get to know them better, and to have fun in a relationship.

For those who aren't comfortable with "flirting", just see it as a way to have fun and kid around, with no goal in mind, so the pressure is off.

Hope this helps,
LadyVer
(again, no expert here, just what I've learned so far)

 

[LadyVer]

I was sitting in O-Chem one day when I was telling a friend about this hot Asian girl I saw at Chik-Fil-A. He was kind of a player, and he said "Dude, no.... don't go for an Asian girl..."

Me: "What? Why?" (He was a black guy and I'm white)

Him: "Dude, they wear granny panties."

I laughed so hard that I could not control myself when class started. That was the most randomest thing ever but cracked me up so hard.

So every time I meet an Asian woman, I always wonder... Is she wearing granny panties???!!!

LOL Good story! I'm pretty sure Asian women wear granny panties about the same frequency as any other group of women.

 

[Adre]

Love your new thread, LV. Here's a piece of gruyere

 

[Miles Long]

So wait, 50+ women don't all wear granny panties all the time? Pull the other one!

 

[LadyVer]

Flirting can be sooo much fun. If it does not get carried away and someone or both get feelings hurt, it can be lots of fun. I am married and am not into the cyber stuff but I so enjoy a man that can flirt back and just enjoy the back and forth. For what it's worth it can sometimes be difficult to banter with a man because guys seem to get treated a bit rudely sometimes if they cross our lines and some are almost too quick to apologize if I bring out my playful claws.

Thank you and thanks for commenting, sg!

There's definitely a balance to flirting/bantering with people we don't know very well, for both men and women...

LadyVer

 

[LadyVer]

Love your new thread, LV. Here's a piece of gruyere

to a very nice guy.

So wait, 50+ women don't all wear granny panties all the time? Pull the other one!

Miles,
I have a signup sheet for my flirting course.

 

[Busybody]

hey yo, Ver

if you don't wear granny panties

what do you wear

depends?

 

[Christopher2012]

to a very nice guy.



Miles,
I have a signup sheet for my flirting course.

Sign me up. I like this thread.

But it's got to involve FACE-TO-FACE flirting lessons and not just online lessons. I can make it rain online.... face-to-face... not so much.

 

[LadyVer]

hey yo, Ver

if you don't wear granny panties

what do you wear

depends?

My dearest, dearest Fangboy, did I not just get through telling you that you had graduated? Methinks you like me and want more.

PS You know you like me. Admit it. Especially to have crossed over from the dark side, aka the GB.

xo

 

[LadyVer]

Sign me up. I like this thread.

But it's got to involve FACE-TO-FACE flirting lessons and not just online lessons. I can make it rain online.... face-to-face... not so much.

If you learn to flirt on Lit via my course, you can take it to the real world. That is the beauty of on line. Raining has nothing to do with flirting, although it would be a factor for some.

 

[Busybody]

My dearest, dearest Fangboy, did I not just get through telling you that you had graduated? Methinks you like me and want more.

PS You know you like me. Admit it. Especially to have crossed over from the dark side, aka the GB.

xo

Yup, I love you

In fact, I bought you something for Christmas

Enjoy

 

[Kitlekyana]

What advice would you give to a girlfriend that doesn't really know (or at least isn't comfortable) flirting? I am usually the one flirting all the time and it either goes over her head or she ignores it.

These days I'll usually do the over the head thing when I'm just not interested in a new guy or preparing to break up with the old. But I remember my first flirt-aholic boyfriend. I was still a flirt virgin then. He would tease me mercilessly, make me squirm with the innuendo (blush blush blush). If I pretended to ignore him, he would sit closer, whisper in my ear and touch me lightly in the shoulders, neck, arms, any bare skin he could get at.

Let's just say that I did not ignore him for long. I guess persistence pays

 

[Christopher2012]

If you learn to flirt on Lit via my course, you can take it to the real world. That is the beauty of on line. Raining has nothing to do with flirting, although it would be a factor for some.

No no no, there's no body language online. There no's sense of the presence of life. Even if there are words being shared... it's not the same.

Online interactions DO NOT transfer to face-to-face interactions.

 

[LadyVer]

No no no, there's no body language online. There no's sense of the presence of life. Even if there are words being shared... it's not the same.

Online interactions DO NOT transfer to face-to-face interactions.

Really? I haven't had that experience myself. I know it's different but it's not that different. I hear what you're saying though. Why don't you pm me?

 

[Busybody]

Why don't you pm me?

you say that to EVERYONE

 

[Christopher2012]

Why don't you pm me?

This is proof that I CAN IN FACT make it rain online. Real life, not so much.

There is a HUUUUUGE difference. Trust me. I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.... and no sex took place.

 

[LadyVer]

you say that to EVERYONE

I like this response better than your last. I like talking to people. And most of the time when I say that on the gb I'm kidding, trying to flirt with you guys, get to know you and have fun. Most of you tend to respond like I'm from another planet, although a certain few seem to be warming up a bit.

 

[MichaelinChina]

No no no, there's no body language online. There no's sense of the presence of life. Even if there are words being shared... it's not the same.

Online interactions DO NOT transfer to face-to-face interactions.

Unless you meet 'in the flesh' as I have quite a few times, but only after developing a strong online (email, phone, cam) relationship.

And sure it's difficult showing body language (all you have is words...to quote a Bee Gees song) but emoticons help and good description (esp if you are cybering) gets you both excited, aroused, hard, wet..masturbating.

I heard a great word the other day on a radio program - 'phygital' - a combination of the physical and digital world many of us inhabit these days.

 

[LadyVer]

This is proof that I CAN IN FACT make it rain online. Real life, not so much.

There is a HUUUUUGE difference. Trust me. I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.... and no sex took place.

hmm. Don't know what to say to that, other than it's not like this is an isolated case, you're not in a minority.