Ladies : Steak and BJ day in the rear view mirror

[pplwatching]

Ladies,

With steak and BJ day in the rear view mirror for another year, inquiring (and dirty) minds want to know how you really feel about BJs.

Porn makes it look like every woman loves to suck cock, but porn is full of shit about a lot of things. Ladies' magazines devote pages to developing your technique.

I know that sometimes the situation matters, so if you like it sometimes but not others then feel free to comment. Otherwise you can just vote.

My very first poll Hopefully I don't screw it up.

Thanks!

 

[DarkLisa]

In other stages of my life, I would have had different answers, of course. Even now there are times my answer might slip down a notch or two if I am not feeling well or if our relationship is rocky in other areas. But for the most part, my answer represents who and what I am today, which is very comfortable in my skin and no longer seeking validation from anyone else for what I enjoy. I love doing it, plain and simple. Sort of combined with 'because it turns me on' to turn him on, but also because it turns me on to turn ME on.

 

[carol_will1]

I've never heard of steak and BJ day, but this is the second reference to it I've seen this week. First one was on FB of all places. Is it something new?

 

[pplwatching]

I've never heard of steak and BJ day, but this is the second reference to it I've seen this week. First one was on FB of all places. Is it something new?

The thinking goes that Valentines Day is for the ladies. Men go to great lengths to pamper, please, and otherwise seduce their object de amour.

On 3/14 ladies can reciprocate with a steak and a BJ. No chocolates, cards, or fancy restaraunts. Men are much simpler to please.

It's more or less tongue in cheek, or tongue and cheek as it were, but it seems to be gaining in popularity. Go figure.

 

[pplwatching]

In other stages of my life, I would have had different answers, of course. Even now there are times my answer might slip down a notch or two if I am not feeling well or if our relationship is rocky in other areas. But for the most part, my answer represents who and what I am today, which is very comfortable in my skin and no longer seeking validation from anyone else for what I enjoy. I love doing it, plain and simple. Sort of combined with 'because it turns me on' to turn him on, but also because it turns me on to turn ME on.

Very elegantly said, Lisa.

 

[quicksylver69]

Was a bit hard giving the answer as I agree with all of the last three. I love doing it because it turns me on and I like that it turns him on. But I also like the submissive aspect of it, especially when he is leading rather than me.

 

[littlebabyclit]

..........................................

 

[pplwatching]

I participate in giving them as enthusiastically as I can muster, but I could live without having to give blowjobs the rest of my life. Wouldn't bother me one bit. I always have to override the gag reflex. I personally don't find it amazing and wonderful to have a mouth full of man genitals but it's alright.

Your honesty is refreshing.

I find this an interesting thread though. And I wonder if any other women besides me in a sex forum would even admit to disliking blow jobs publicly. I would think others might be worried about how the men would perceive them here and not want to admit such a thing publicly. That would have to be a buzz-killer on the popularity-meter for women here, eh?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. That's one reason I chose an anonymous poll. As far as I know there's no way for anyone to tell who voted, or which choice they picked. I would hope that women who share your views will vote accordingly and answer your question. Maybe this particular poll is too boring for this forum, or the topic has been beaten to death. It doesn't have very many votes.

How many women that claim to love BJs (and lets include anal sex, or any less vanilla play) are being honest versus how many just say whatever it takes to be popular even if they don't? That's an interesting question. Speaking as a man who completely adores giving oral sex, I'm sure many woman love giving too. There's the power dynamic of being in control of a lover's pleasure, the submissive dynamic of being used for their pleasure, the turn on of texture and taste, and the joy of being sensual and pleasing each other.

On the other hand I read a quote from a self-professed attention queen who said, "You have to be willing to do anything and act like you love it, because there's a lot of other women who will if you won't." I'm sure there is some competition between women, attention seeking, and validation. I'm sure that there's a paralell for men. Would a man who's looking for attention here be willing to admit it if he didn't enjoy any particular act?

In this day and age when many men profess strong feelings of entitlement to blow jobs from their sex partners, would such blow job-averse women become targets and openly bashed here ? Or warmly accepted for their feelings, since there are plenty of other sex acts to choose from mutually ?

In porn I have to agree with you completely. In pro porn it's always part of the script and it does seem like every guy expects it (and every woman loves giving them). As I said above, porn is unrealistic on a lot of levels Watching most blow jobs is completely boring. Thank heavens for fast forward Occasionally you can see a woman's enthusiasm and excitement for giving. That's hot, but rare. Maybe it's just me being jaded, but most seem to be going through the motions. But I guess porn is about going through the motions to sell a product, isn't it.

I completely get what you are saying about mutual fun, but there are shades of gray. I think it's great that you choose to give your lover a treat even if you are ambivalent (as long as it is a choice). I think both give and take and selflessness are part and parcel of being a great lover. Giving pleasure turns me on, even if a particular act doesn't. My wife does the same for me. Like anything else mutual respect, a desire to please each other, and moderation are key. Frankly, I have never really cared for BJs but I am a really big fan of being teased. The more merciless she is about denying me any real pleasure for as long she can while turning me on, the hotter it is. Sucking my cock for a long time hurts my wife's jaw. While I don't feel entitled, a little oral play can heat up the moment without hurting her. Taking me in her mouth briefly between kisses and licks its one more sensation that she can use to make me truly desperate. In that sense, it's a trick in her bag for playing with my fock even if it does nothing for her. It may not do anything for her, but I adore her for making the guesture occasionally and catering to that particular craving of mine.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.

 

[DarkLisa]

I participate in giving them as enthusiastically as I can muster, but I could live without having to give blowjobs the rest of my life. Wouldn't bother me one bit. I always have to override the gag reflex. I personally don't find it amazing and wonderful to have a mouth full of man genitals but it's alright. I find this an interesting thread though. And I wonder if any other women besides me in a sex forum would even admit to disliking blow jobs publicly. I would think others might be worried about how the men would perceive them here and not want to admit such a thing publicly. That would have to be a buzz-killer on the popularity-meter for women here, eh ? In this day and age when many men profess strong feelings of entitlement to blow jobs from their sex partners, would such blow job-averse women become targets and openly bashed here ? Or warmly accepted for their feelings, since there are plenty of other sex acts to choose from mutually ?

The thread in this section called "Is There Such a Thing as a Bad Blow Job" has comments from several women that oral sex isn't their favorite thing to do. So yes, there are quite a few ladies who have no problem saying what they like or don't like on a public forum.

Every porn movie I have ever seen has glorified oral sex, but the only men I knew who felt "entitled" to it in real life were either 1. a total asshat or 2. a young, immature guy who only behaved the way he saw in movies. I myself didn't really love giving a blow job for quite a while when I was young,
although I never minded it. I did it for the same reason the guy wanted it-we thought we had to because that's what we learned from what we saw around us. When I started doing it with an eye (and ear and tongue) tuned in to my man's reactions, and to please him and make him happy is when it became a thrill for me. In an even later development in my sexual maturity, I realized that letting go and doing it turns me on, over and above the actual act of what I am doing for him. But we're all different and I know there are many things that do that for other women that would make me shudder to even try.

Ironic that the girls who "gave head" when I was younger (like me) were called the sluts (in a derogatory way), and now it's perceived that there is a possibility that the ones who *don't* do it are the ones that have something "wrong" with them. Fortunately, there is little bashing here, and fortunately most posters don't worry about whether or not what they say makes them popular or not. If you're brave enough to post about this stuff on Lit, you probably couldn't give a lesser shit whether or not someone (or many someones) cares whether or not you like to participate in any given sex act. There probably isn't much in our lives that is more varied than our tastes in what gets us going sexually, so to each their own....and thank goodness it's not a popularity contest, I had enough of that crap when I was 18!