Ladies: position for orgasm (specific Q)?

[legalrockandrollman]

Hi all. Long time lurker, rare poster here.

I am having a difficulty with making my girlfriend come during sex. Basically, she doesn't come through penetration alone, so when we have sex I try and stimulate her clit and that works. She doesn't come from on top, from behind etc. only from clitoral stimulation (and really quite hard pressure at that). When she masturbates, she can only come when she locks her legs completely straight and tenses her thighs near the end, to get her over the edge. The trouble is, when we have sex when she wants to come she tenses her legs and squeezes them together and that kind of forces me out and makes the ending difficult.

So my questions are:

- does this description resonate with anyone (i.e. only strong clitoral pressure and tensing legs whilst straight together resonate with anyone?
- if so, suggestions?

 

[Aphro]

I have the opposite reaction, in that when I get close to climax, I want to spread my legs wider, not close them up.

But it sounds like she has "trained" herself to orgasm in this way, during masturbation, and so now feels she needs to do the same thing during sex. Does she masturbate with a toy/vibe, or just fingers? I'm guessing you will have to work with her to re-train her not to close her legs at orgasm. What would happen if you physically restrained her from closing her legs? Does that totally fuck up the orgasm?

 

[legalrockandrollman]

The short answer is, I don't know. Can you train yourself to orgasm in a certain way?

 

[srgreene]

Position Matters

Variety is the spice of life! It's difficult for me to pick a favorite, but, at least when I was younger and had more flexible hamstring, on my back with my legs over, or at least around, my partner's shoulders was a favorite. Particularly with more generously endowed partners, I frequently preferred being on top, as that not only seemed to increase clitoral contact, but also allowed me more contol over penetration, something I could 't achieve with my legs over his shoulders. Also, being on top allowed me to enjoy some acrobatics that I couldn't with a body on top of me.

Having men come too quickly was the bane of my most sexually active years, so I sympathize with your partner not achieving orgasms. She might try wrapping her legs around you and pulling you in as opposed to clamping up. You should try pleasuring her with some toys both before and after intercourse. Toys were not so plentifully available when I was in my sexual prime: post-coitally running warm bath water between my legs provided a frequent, if not totally satisfying, release for me.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

Dollie-------------- I just had an orgasm reading this.

 

[fire_breeze]

Hi all. Long time lurker, rare poster here.

I am having a difficulty with making my girlfriend come during sex. Basically, she doesn't come through penetration alone, so when we have sex I try and stimulate her clit and that works. She doesn't come from on top, from behind etc. only from clitoral stimulation (and really quite hard pressure at that). When she masturbates, she can only come when she locks her legs completely straight and tenses her thighs near the end, to get her over the edge. The trouble is, when we have sex when she wants to come she tenses her legs and squeezes them together and that kind of forces me out and makes the ending difficult.

So my questions are:

- does this description resonate with anyone (i.e. only strong clitoral pressure and tensing legs whilst straight together resonate with anyone?
- if so, suggestions?

Many many many women do not orgasm through penetration alone (or from penetration at all). Many need clitoral stimulation. For some women, they can only cum in a certain way, for others, multiple ways. Every woman (just as every man) is incredibly unique. Incorporate her mode into foreplay and go from there. Constantly communicate with her, talk with each other, inside and outside of the bedroom.

Also, putting pressure on your girlfriend on cumming is a sure fire way to ruin an orgasm. I know it makes one feel like some sort of sex-god, but the truth is, when you get frustrated by her inability to orgasm through penetration, she gets frustrated and bingo, she won't cum. Orgasms isn't the destination of sex; you can have spectacular sex without the grande finale, so to speak. Talk with her, and have fun.

 

[Siren_Smiles]

Have her lay on her belly, with something like a dish towel placed folded or scrunched up where it can put pressure on her mons. Straddle her legs and enter her from behind, prone. She can clench her legs till her heart desires and your weight aids in the pressure she needs to climax.

 

[emap]

What siren said.

Also going to mention that sex is 90% mental and 50% physical. That means it is possible to reach orgasm with a really good fantasy and no touching. It is also possible to reach orgasm even when she isn't in the mood but let you ride her anyway. I'd say the same applies for guys but I don't think they ever stop being in the mood.

Which means, if she thinks she will only orgasm in a way that makes it hard for you to enjoy her, then that is the only way for her to orgasm. If a person thinks they will only orgasm while riding on top waving a cowboy hat and yelling yippee, that is only how they will orgasm.

It is possible to change how a person gets their orgasm, but only if they want to. Not that it is normal for a person to only orgasm one way, though does happen, those are called fetishes. In your case your girlfriend I would expect to not have much experience with men with her in bed. Why she has to do her orgasm with the clenched legs, it's what she knows.

 

[phil_o]

Constantly communicate with her, talk with each other, inside and outside of the bedroom.

Good god what kind of pervert are you?

 

[albertaboy]

My wife will seldom cum from pure intercourse.

Our solution is I usually get her off first, lots of foreplay and the judicious use of a magic wand.

She then often cums again during intercourse.

 

[mikendel]

Hard and deep from behind or riding him me on top. Works every time.

 

[AmandaJane]

Dildo and tongue is always a winning combination for me.

 

[amofiga]

It always amazes me that people have this notion that the only way that's legitimate to cum is with PIV fucking. If your woman can only cum with your tongue, then give her that orgasm with your tongue and THEN fuck her for your orgasm or use your tongue after you fuck. The thing is, too many guys are afraid or grossed out to eat their own cum out of their woman's pussy, yet they expect THEM to swallow it. GO for it guys. The tongue is mightier than the "sword"

If she only can cum with a vibrator, then use the vibrator to have her use the vibrator WHILE you fuck and see how much fun it is for her to cum with your cock in her. What's the ego BS that says she HAS to cum on your cock?

Then there IS the question of position. I once had a lady friend that could only squirt and could do so with earth shattering orgasms IF, I positioned myself so that I was half on the bed or a chair with my legs out, bent at the knees with feet flat on the floor. She could then straddle me with her feet on the floor and "ride" me like a horse. She could lift herself and slam down on me hard which is that she needed. I'd sometimes wince with her force. But boy did she get this look as her eyes rolled back, started mumbling the filthiest stuff, and then screamed as she unleahed hot fluid all over me. Woman squirt? Piss? Never sure but it was glorious.

 

[sunandshadow]

If she only can cum with a vibrator, then use the vibrator or have her use the vibrator WHILE you fuck and see how much fun it is for her to cum with your cock in her.

I second this. Works well with a spooning position, among others. Tends to leave at least one hand free to play with her nipples too.


Alternatively, instead of putting your cock inside her, thrust it against her clit. This can work in missionary or cowgirl position.