Knowing your biases, and what do you do to try to combat them?

[sb2009]

OK, I know I have a super bad bias against religious people. Specifically, conservative christians.

The thing is, I KNOW this. I do. I know why, as well - being raised in a very strict fundamentalist group environment was warped. But even though their views are said to be "extreme" and not representative of "typical" american Christians, they sound the same to me. And when I read stuff like this school board member in arkansas who ranted about the wearing purple day for LGBT teens to raise awareness of bullying, and said basically all homos should kill themselves (actually he said 'thierselves' but anyway)....well, it sounds, I feel like "hey, he just said what the other ones are thinking."

But I love Gracie from here, and she is a Christian, and she has never told me that I'm an evil heathen, and in fact, most of my friends/acquaintances are rather conservative in nature, probably because they are all girl scout moms ;-) and none of them are particularly hateful. They do seem to have high squick factor about sexuality though LOL

And I know I am not alone, everyone has biases, and a lot of us know we have them. But we feel a bit ashamed of them, I think, and feel like we are bad for having them.

 

[Netzach]

I dunno. I don't equate biases. Biases against some peaceful asshole who never did you a lick of harm are not the same as biases against things and people that have a shit track record over time with one's folks. The benefit of the doubt is not an entitlement.

 

[sb2009]

And that is a very good point!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm with Netz on this.

The biases I have are garnered from a lot of experience. I have very good reasons to be biased against fundies, right-wingers, privileged straight white guys. I know exceptional folk in these categories, but-- they are the exceptions.

 

[sb2009]

I'm with Netz on this.

The biases I have are garnered from a lot of experience. I have very good reasons to be biased against fundies, right-wingers, privileged straight white guys. I know exceptional folk in these categories, but-- they are the exceptions.

and this is where i struggle - I have reasons too, but because I doubt myself, I tend to discount that experience, I think.

And the other side is, that my experience is a bit on the extreme side, so it may be a bit of an extreme bias.

 

[Stella_Omega]

and this is where i struggle - I have reasons too, but because I doubt myself, I tend to discount that experience, I think.

And the other side is, that my experience is a bit on the extreme side, so it may be a bit of an extreme bias.

"Them fags should all kill theirselves?"

No, that is not an extreme example of fundie thought.Not even.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Let's put it this way... I'm a gamer (RPGs, console/computer gaming, and miniature wargames), and I do gamer-ly things. Associate with gamers, talk nerdy, get all warm and fuzzy over new releases and whatnot.

And despite the fact that I shower at least once per day, exercise somewhat regularly, eat well, am happily married and can talk about things that AREN'T games, I know EXACTLY how people will respond if they're to find out I'm a gamer. And I've come to terms with that.

If I didn't like people having prejudices about me due to my hobbies, I'd change my hobbies.

Follow?

 

[graceanne]

I have a theory that 75% of people are assholes. That means of any group. 75% of right wingers are assholes and 75% of left wingers are assholes. 75% of kinksters are assholes, 75% of vanillas. 75% of Christians, atheists, Jews, Muslims, etc are assholes. And the other 25% are assholes half the time.

My point? You examine any group closely you can find an asshole.

My biases? I'm biased against men. I wasn't raised to trust men, and very few men that I've met since then have convinced me I was raised wrong. I was six the first time my mom told me that all men want women for is sex. How do I handle this? I don't, not really. I understand that not all men are assholes, so I can have brief relationships, but betticus is the only guy FRIEND I've ever had. Most likely he is the only guy friend I'll ever have, and I don't know if that would be possible if he didn't live across the US from me.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't think my biases are unwarranted.

"I would disown my kids they were gay. They will not be welcome at my home or in my vicinity. I will absolutely run them off. Of course my kids will know better. My kids will have solid christian beliefs. See it infects everyone."

-----

Homosexuality is "abnormal," he says, and kids know it, which leads them to despair. That's why he wants to confront gay activism in public schools. For example, his group supports the Day of Truth, when Christian high-schoolers make their case that homosexuality is a sin.
----

# White evangelicals are most satisfied with their church's handling of homosexuality, with 75 percent giving it an 'A' or a 'B.' Catholics are the most critical, with nearly a third -- twice as many as any other group -- giving their church a 'D' or 'F.'

----

My bigotry was consistent with what the culture, the church and my friends thought and said, and it was not countered by those who knew better. When I used the word "gay," it was pejorative, and if I thought someone was gay, I kept my distance or worse.

 

[Cattypuss]

I hate tories (translation - people whose politics are at all right of centre). I can't help myself and I don't particularly care that I can't.

One thing that I wish I *could* change, though... whenever I hear a white South African accent (very common in some parts of London), I have a knee-jerk internal "racist bastard" response, which, let's face it, is pretty fucking racist in itself.

I loathe religion but I'm okay about the people who follow religions.

 

[Cattypuss]

My biases? I'm biased against men. I wasn't raised to trust men, and very few men that I've met since then have convinced me I was raised wrong. I was six the first time my mom told me that all men want women for is sex. How do I handle this? I don't, not really. I understand that not all men are assholes, so I can have brief relationships, but betticus is the only guy FRIEND I've ever had. Most likely he is the only guy friend I'll ever have, and I don't know if that would be possible if he didn't live across the US from me.

Ooh ooh! I'm the opposite - I've never had a real female friend - all my close friends, since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, have been boys and men. I just think I understand men better than I understand other women - and men seem to understand me better than women do.

 

[FloggingMolly]

I know what mine is, but don't wanna say. I know it's totally irrational, and I try to take a deep breath and move past it. Its a stupid bias that I'd love to never feel again.

 

[PrimoTat]

I hate humans and mosquitos don't thrill me much, either!

 

[Ravenwind]

I don't really have any biases against people based on who or what they are, or what they think, but rather, of *how* they think.

I personally don't care if someone is left, right, straight, gay, kinked, vanilla, black, white, Christian, atheist, genius, unschooled, or whatever. But the Lord knows I cannot abide a closed-minded prejudiced idiot... anyone who is absolutely unable or unwilling to consider the possibilities they might just be wrong, there are exceptions to the rule, or the world does not revolve around them.

That is, if there is no possibility for you to change your mind, then you simply aren't worth my time, even if I agree with you. If you do not know for a fact, or have not personally experienced it in a way that gives genuine weight to your belief, you're doing nothing more than speaking out your ass... and thus, your words stink just as much to me. If you don't have the guts to experience the whole truth, then you're really no better than the one who says "I read it on teh intarwebz, so it must be true".

Nutshelled... I hate biased people who are unwilling to change. I hate people who base their lives off lies and half-truths, instead of the whole truth. I don't actually hate the people themselves, mind you, but I hate their actions, and what they stand for. Those who stand up and say, "I'm an idiot, and proud of it".

Edit: Oh, and Stella, I'm a Fundamentalist, and I disagree with the quotes you had provided. Remember, one of the two "fundamentals" of Christianity is "love your neighbor as you love yourself"... to wish ill upon another is far from the actions of a Fundamentalist. There *are* exceptions to the rule.

 

[where]

I hate tories (translation - people whose politics are at all right of centre). I can't help myself and I don't particularly care that I can't.

One thing that I wish I *could* change, though... whenever I hear a white South African accent (very common in some parts of London), I have a knee-jerk internal "racist bastard" response, which, let's face it, is pretty fucking racist in itself.

I loathe religion but I'm okay about the people who follow religions.

I have dumped people for their political beliefs (when they veer to the hard right).

I hear what you are saying about white south africans, especially men. they are possibly the most despised group on the planet.

but I know at least three SA guys who are not only cool people, but are actively anti-discriminatory. the fact that they are also underdogs makes them kinda hot, too

 

[sb2009]

I don't really have any biases against people based on who or what they are, or what they think, but rather, of *how* they think.

I personally don't care if someone is left, right, straight, gay, kinked, vanilla, black, white, Christian, atheist, genius, unschooled, or whatever. But the Lord knows I cannot abide a closed-minded prejudiced idiot... anyone who is absolutely unable or unwilling to consider the possibilities they might just be wrong, there are exceptions to the rule, or the world does not revolve around them.

That is, if there is no possibility for you to change your mind, then you simply aren't worth my time, even if I agree with you. If you do not know for a fact, or have not personally experienced it in a way that gives genuine weight to your belief, you're doing nothing more than speaking out your ass... and thus, your words stink just as much to me. If you don't have the guts to experience the whole truth, then you're really no better than the one who says "I read it on teh intarwebz, so it must be true".

Nutshelled... I hate biased people who are unwilling to change. I hate people who base their lives off lies and half-truths, instead of the whole truth. I don't actually hate the people themselves, mind you, but I hate their actions, and what they stand for. Those who stand up and say, "I'm an idiot, and proud of it".

Edit: Oh, and Stella, I'm a Fundamentalist, and I disagree with the quotes you had provided. Remember, one of the two "fundamentals" of Christianity is "love your neighbor as you love yourself"... to wish ill upon another is far from the actions of a Fundamentalist. There *are* exceptions to the rule.

everyone has biases. Everyone. It's part of being human.

 

[intothewoods]

There are only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures .... and the Dutch.

 

[Keroin]

There are only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures .... and the Dutch.

HA! Best Michael Caine quote ever!!!

 

[bridgeburner]

I have classist biases. It's not a matter of thinking some people are more valuable than others, but rather, who I find that I'm comfortable spending my time with.

I can move easily in multiple circles, but my comfort level decreases the farther I move down the socio-economic ladder. And, truly, it really isn't about money which I've never had. It's about what my grandmother called breeding. I find that as I move toward middle age I'm less willing to spend time around people who don't share my values about criminal pursuits, meeting civic responsibilities, family planning and and vulgarity.

I'm as atheist as I've ever been, but becoming more Episcopal than before.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Don't really have any biases.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't really have any biases against people based on who or what they are, or what they think, but rather, of *how* they think.

I personally don't care if someone is left, right, straight, gay, kinked, vanilla, black, white, Christian, atheist, genius, unschooled, or whatever. But the Lord knows I cannot abide a closed-minded prejudiced idiot... anyone who is absolutely unable or unwilling to consider the possibilities they might just be wrong, there are exceptions to the rule, or the world does not revolve around them.

That is, if there is no possibility for you to change your mind, then you simply aren't worth my time, even if I agree with you. If you do not know for a fact, or have not personally experienced it in a way that gives genuine weight to your belief, you're doing nothing more than speaking out your ass... and thus, your words stink just as much to me. If you don't have the guts to experience the whole truth, then you're really no better than the one who says "I read it on teh intarwebz, so it must be true".

Nutshelled... I hate biased people who are unwilling to change. I hate people who base their lives off lies and half-truths, instead of the whole truth. I don't actually hate the people themselves, mind you, but I hate their actions, and what they stand for. Those who stand up and say, "I'm an idiot, and proud of it".

Edit: Oh, and Stella, I'm a Fundamentalist, and I disagree with the quotes you had provided. Remember, one of the two "fundamentals" of Christianity is "love your neighbor as you love yourself"... to wish ill upon another is far from the actions of a Fundamentalist. There *are* exceptions to the rule.

You may very well be an exception to the rule, my love, and I am always glad to meet people like yourself.

 

[where]

I have classist biases. It's not a matter of thinking some people are more valuable than others, but rather, who I find that I'm comfortable spending my time with.

I can move easily in multiple circles, but my comfort level decreases the farther I move down the socio-economic ladder. And, truly, it really isn't about money which I've never had. It's about what my grandmother called breeding. I find that as I move toward middle age I'm less willing to spend time around people who don't share my values about criminal pursuits, meeting civic responsibilities, family planning and and vulgarity.

I'm as atheist as I've ever been, but becoming more Episcopal than before.

you equate low-socioeconomic status with crime, lack of community and poor taste?

 

[ImOnIt]

This thread is a mess because the first post and thread title are completely at odds. Netzach, Cattypuss, Intothewoods are talking about dealing with your own prejudice, but looks like nearly everyone else says 'MY judgements aren't biased! You should see how bad those [other people] are'.


I judge people with any religious affiliation. I have lost friendships with people who I otherwise got on with fine because of my assumptions on what i think it means to be christian, completely separate to how it affects my interaction with them.

I judge Maori and black men as violent, I am biased in favour of wealth,

The first 3 to come to my head. Questions are welcome.

 

[FloggingMolly]

I definately dont blame the people I have the bias against for it. It is all to do with me, and my own shit that I need to resolve.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm reverse classist. I distrust rich people and rarely feel comfortable around them. If someone is above lower-middle class, that bias kicks in. I guess that's the only glaring one I have.

What do I do to try to combat that? I just try to be pleasant and get the hell out when I'm in an uncomfortable situation. Yes, I realize that's not really dealing with it.