Knocked up.

musicankane

I blew a monkey once.
Joined
Dec 30, 2004
Posts
15,638
Jake groaned as the mid-afternoon light streamed in through the wide dutch windows onto his face. He rolled over, his head pounding as he tried to remember what day it was. All he remembered was that he had gone drinking for his birthday celebration last night and he had gotten royally fucked up. It was his twenty-first birthday and his friends all insisted he drank for all the days in his life he couldn't get thrashed.

Now he didn't know where he was, or how he had gotten there. He rolled onto his back and knew he wasn't in his own bed. The sheet were clean and bright white, the room he was in was large and well decorated. He closed his eyes a minute to try and remember what had gone down last night. Nothing came to mind.

He sat up and realized he was lying in a strange bed, in a strange house, butt fucking naked. Wherever he was he knew it was an expensive place. Out the windows was a huge lawn, and everything smelt of designer something or other here.

His eyes searched the room for his clothes, or at very least his pants, but he saw nothing. Outside the bedroom door he heard footsteps approach and he quickly scrambled under the blankets so that no one walked in on him in the nude.
 
Evelyn Weisz had woken early and wondered what in the hell had happened and what she had done. She was naked in bed with a man she didn't know. She thought after all the english pubs she had been through in her younger years that she would have a better head for alcohol, but then she remember that her agent had given her a pill of some kind so she would loosen up a bit. She had been absolutely wired after winninger her Golden Globe.

She got up out of bed an took a long shower. When she got out she regarded herself in the mirror, long dark hair, vividly green eyes, it was no wonder that this 26 year old british actress was in high demand. She imagined after her win last night, she would be offered even more prestigious roles.

She wrapped a towel around her hair and put on a silk robe and headed back towards her bedroom. She knew she had to deal with what happened last night, one way or the other.

She saw the gentleman that she had presumably slept with the night before was slowly waking up. "Good morning." she said warmly with a bit of awkwardness. She wasn't sure if he remembered anything about last night so she decided to wait and see his reaction before she said anything else.
 
Jake blinked in disbelief. He would have accepted any person that walked through that bedroom door. A maid, a nurse, an old guy, a nun, a cop (especially a cop), hell he would have accepted Superman. But the woman who walked in boggled his already very strained brain.

He watched her come toward him with wide eyes, "You....Yo...Evelyn Weisz." He groaned and flopped back onto the bed, "Shit I snuck into Evelyn Weisz' house? I am so arrested." He said.

Evelyn came up to him with actually greeted him fairly pleasantly, well as pleasant as a good morning could be he supposed. Jake looked up at her and blushed, he felt bad sitting in her bed naked with a hangover while she just wondered why he was there. He wished he could remember what had happened last night, but he was starting to guess.

Jake was actually a key grip on the new film called "Buyout". He didn't know what the movie was about except that it was a buddy cop film. He did know that the movie stared Evelyn Weisz, Bruce Willis, The Rock, and Kevin James. He never got any interaction with the stars, as a key grip he was just a clean up guy after filming was done for the day. He prepped the set for the next day. It was one of those jobs that people thought sounded cool, but actually paid worse that a McDonald's job.

Jake wanted to be a director and while he went through film school, he needed to movie job so the key grip position was how he was "paying his dues".

So that explained what must have happened. He must have gotten shit faced and then thought it would be funny to sneak into Evelyn's house and he must have passed out.

"Evelyn I'm sorry. Err, Ms. Weisz, I don't know what happened last night. I must have been an idiot and snuck in here, and I guess lost my clothes or something." He hung his head, "Shit."
 
Evelyn laughed softly. "You must be as bloody hung over as I am. I don't think you snuck in I think we uh....you know..." she said as she laughed nervously and blushed a bit. "I'm normally not the type to do something like that, so if you could keep this to yourself, I'd really appreciate it." She told him in an honest non-condescending way.

"I'm going to go make some coffee. The shower's through there if you'd like one, and there's some headache medicine in the cabinet if you want some. Come on out to the kitchen when you're ready." she told him and then left him to do what he felt he needed to.

She headed downstairs into the kitchen and made some toast. She wasn't sure if he was in the mood for food or not, so she poured herself a cup of steaming hot coffee and took a drink, waiting for him to appear.
 
He was too embarassed and hung over to know what she meant. He nodded and thanked her for the offer of the shower. Once she was gone he got out of the bed and made his way into the bathroom, turning on the hot water. He noticed that she had left his clothes on the sink and he thought that was nice of her.

He grabbed his cock as he stepped into the shower, but jerked his hand away quickly. His cock was sticky, the kind of sticky that could only come from one thing. Then he remembered what she had said, could that have really happened? No, that was impossible, how the hell could he have really fucked Evelyn Weisz?

Jake washed up and dressed, his clothing still smelt of booze but it would have to do. The smell of coffee filled his nose and he had no trouble finding the kitchen where the movie star sat, sipping from a mug.

HE chuckled nervously and said, "God I always wanted to meet you. I mean I had the biggest crush on you and I uh....look umm, we didn't have....you know...I mean why would we right?"
 
Evelyn blushed a bit. Given that she was british, she didn't have the ego that most american actresses had. "That's very nice of you to say.....well I'm not even sure what your name is." she told him as she got up and poured him a cup of a coffee and handed it to him and then set cream and sugar next to it if he wanted it.

She extended her hand to shake his. "My name is Evelyn, and it's very nice to meet you."S he said doing her best to be upbeat. She didn't want the guy to feel bad for something she had actually, presumably, willingly participated in.

"I think we did have a bit of a shag last night...but I think we should be ok..." she told him, though she wasn't entirely sure. She took her birth control last night...didn't she? She was pretty sure she did...

"Are you hungry at all? I really am sorry if I did anything...uncouth last night. My agent gave me this pill, and I can't remember a bloody thing."
 
Jake couldn't believe it. He had sex with her. He fucking had sex with Evelyn Weisz! He wanted to grin and be happy but he couldn't because it didn't count if he didn't remember it. Instead he moved to her table and flopped into a chair and groaned, "That's just my fucking luck." He muttered.

He sighed and took the mug of coffee set out for him. "You know my greatest dream was to sleep with you, no offense Evelyn but you are incredible and just thinking about you could get me off. So I mean of course, having sex with you would be the most amazing experience of my life."

"What I find fucked, is that it happened! I mean we did it! The best night of my life, and I can even remember leaving my house." He took a drink, "That is the shittiest thing that could happen to someone. Oh hey you had this amazing experience last night, but you'll never remember it."

He glanced at her, "Your manager drugged you? Wow that sucks you should fire him. I'd be pissed if I got drugged and fucked some random guy, I mean don't be mad at me, unless I like didn't use a condom or something but I mean we probably did right?"
 
She kind of felt bad for the guy. He clearly had this thing for her and he would never remember what happened. She imagined she would be pretty upset if it happened to her. "I'm really sorry....but I mean...I guess we could keep in touch if you want." she said, though she didn't really know anything about him.

"What's your name anyway? What do you do?" she asked.

When he brought up her agent drugging her she laughed a bit. "I don't think he meant to. He's such a paranoid hypocondriac, that I think he accidently gave me a valium instead of an aspirin. However, if I find out differently, I promise to give him the boot." she smiled and then stretched, not sure what else to say to him.

"Look, I need to be onset tonight, we're doing a night shoot, so I'm going to change the sheets....we apparently had a very good time from what I can see of them, and try to get some sleep. You can stick around if you like, or I could call you a cab, i don't know what you have going on today."
 
Jake actually stood up and glanced at his watch. "It's funny you mention the set. I am a keygrip on your movie, I have to go to the set and help set it up and make it ready for the shoot tonight." He explained, "Oh and my name is Jake. I'll be around the set, though they don't let us talk to the actors."

He finished the coffee and took it to the sink. Something about her comment about the sheets bothered him, but for the life of him he couldn't think of why.

Evelyn called him a cab and Jake gave her his phone number, never expecting to hear from her again, but not many people could say that Evelyn Weisz had their phone number so he felt proud of that.

When he got home he changed and picked up his car to drive to work. His friends would never believe what he was going to tell them.
 
Evelyn went upstairs and changed the sheets. She checked her birth control pack and the pill she was supposed to take last night was gone, so she felt like everything would be ok. She climbed into bed and passed out.

When she awoke again she got dressed and headed to set and to the make up trailor. She hoped Jake would be discrete, so far she hadn't noticed anything online or in any of the tabloids so she was pretty sure she was safe.

It wasn't until she arrived on the actual set that she saw Jake again and it caused her to blush. However, she got herself together and went on with the task at hand.

The shoot lasted about a month and a half and everything was going ok with the film, Evelyn, however, was concerned about something else entirely. She asked her assistant to find Jake and bring him to her trailor. She sat in her make up chair feeling extrememly nervous.
 
Nobody believed Jake went he said he drunkenly fucked Evelyn Weisz. They called him a liar and teased him about fucking a fat chick which he was trying to pass off as a hottie. They never believed him through the weeks of the shoot and even when an assisstant came up to him and said blatantly that Evelyn Weisz wanted to see him in front of all his friends that didn't believe him.

"Oh someone's fired." Steve said.

Jake turned back and flipped him off, following the assistant.

Evelyn Weisz sat in her trailor looking very upset, nervous. Her hands played with a tissue, tearing it apart into increasingly smaller pieces.

"Hey Evelyn, been a long time. How are you?" He asked her.
 
"First off, I'm not entirely pleased about you blabbing what happened between us to everyone. Luckily, no one took you seriously." she told him. It had been another reasons he had kept her distance from him, she didn't want to fan the flames of the rumors.

"Secondly...." She paused as she bit her bottom lip and did her best not to get emotional. "Seconly....I'm pregnant." she told him, her voice cracking a bit. "You don't have to be involved at all, but I thought you should know."
 
Jake blushed that she had heard that he had been trying to tell his friends about what had happened. Luckily she wasn't getting him fired, or even seemed that upset about it.

Then she told him she was pregnant and he blinked, why would she tell him that? Nevertheless he shrugged and nodded, "Well congratulations I guess. But why are you tell me that?"
 
She looked up at him as if he were daft. "Because you're the only person I've slept with in the past year and a half and it's your child you dult!" she snapped at him and then calmed herself down.

"I am going to have it, I can't bring myself to do otherwise. I think it would be better if you were in the baby's life, after all, you are it's father, but I don't want to pressure you into doing that if you don't want to."
 
She shouted at him about the baby being his and he jumped. He didn't know she wasn't getting any fucking dick. How could he, he didn't know her. This was a problem because he barely made enough money for himself, what was he going to do with a kid?

Then he remembered that Evelyn was rich as fuck as she could take care of the baby without batting an eye. He slowly slumped to his knees on the floor and hung his head, "God am I that horrible of a person? I didn't know Evelyn. I know nothing about your personal life, so I couldn't know that you haven't been having sex with anyone. I'm so sorry that your child has to be mine."

He looked up at her, "I want to help, just tell me how."
 
Evelyn looked at the guy in front of her and wanted to smack him. “Look, I got out of a really painful break up and between work and everything else, I didn't want to rush into another one. Since I'm not one of these little Hollywood sluts, I didn't feel the need to go out and shag everything in site. Is that a problem for you?” she asked him with annoyance.

She got even more annoyed when he put himself down about the whole thing. “What is your problem? Do you need to see a shrink or something? I didn't know that men could have worse self esteem issues than women do.” she sighed and wished she could smoke, a habit she had given up years ago.

“I don't know...if you want to be a father, now's your chance, though from what I can tell the only benefit that you will receive is that you slept with me. Do you even care?”
 
Jake couldn't believe she was being so harsh. He knew she was upset with him, or maybe just with the situation itself most likely and she was taking it out on him. Jake took a deep breath, he needed to man up and be a fucking man. So he got to his feet and glared at her.

"Alright Evelyn, I do want to be the father. I will be the father because I am the father. I know you are upset with me, or with this whole fucking situation, but don't sit there and put me down like it is my fault. You choose to have sex with me, drug or not, I didn't drug you so you have no right to step on me and my emotions like trash." He told her.

He sighed and shook his head. "Look I'm sorry. This is sudden for both of us, I guess my sperm are so awesome that your womb couldn't defend against my awesome gammes."

He snorted holding back a smile. "Oh come on, lighten up a little. You act like this is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone. It's not that bad, ok so I'm not Brad Pitt. But I'm a nice enough guy if you get to know me. Hell you might even learn to not be so mad about having my child because I'm so cool."
 
Evelyn looked at him strangely. “Look, you were the one putting yourself down, saying how you weren't good enough for all this, NOT ME. I didn't step on your emotions, I just pointed out that you seemed extremely insecure with yourself. I'm a normal human being just like everyone else, not some goddess to put up on a pedestal.” she explained to him and sighed. “I don't know what to do to be honest. I want our baby to know you, but I don't know how to do that, I don't even know you” she said as she paced around a bit.

“I mean are we supposed to be a couple now? I just don't know, what do you think?” she asked. She snorted when he mentioned Brad Pitt. “As if I would sleep with that old whore...” she told him and then laughed out-rightly, the tension in her body breaking.

“I'm sorry, I just have to handle this correctly or else it will be the end of my career. I've always wanted to have a baby, I just thought it would be under.....better circumstances...more planned. I don't hate you at all, we were both there, I'm just...a bit flustered at the moment. I thought I had taken my birth control that night, but I found it underneath the night stand when I dropped one of my rings about a month later. I'm still kind of in shock.”
 
Jake nodded and watched her pace around, laughing at the strange situation. He nodded and looked at her as she ranted, "Evelyn i dont know what we do now. Together we can help take care of the baby. I am afraid of what the media would think about you being with me. But i guess if Jessica Alba can do it, why not you?"

He stood and took her hand. "Evelyn i am sorry this was forced upon you, us i guess. But we can try to make it work right? Let me take you to dinner, get to knoe each other and who knows. Maybe we can really hit it off."
 
Evelyn tried to calm herself. It wasn't the best situation to be in but if she had to be in it, she supposed it could very well be worse. At least he didn't seem like a complete jack ass, at least, not thus far.

She smiled at him warmly and laughed a little. “Well, if I'm going to have your child growing inside of me, you might as well call me Evie. That's what my family calls me...and one way or another we're going to be a type of family aren't we? I'd love to go to dinner, I'm bloody starving half the time these days.” she smiled a bit weakly. “I only wish I could have a drink! Shall we?” she asked as she picked up her purse. “I suppose the worst part about all this is I can't remember what happened. I wish I could remember the action that caused me to conceive...”she sighed softly in disappointment.
 
Jake.laughed and gave her hand a squeeze. "Evie it is then." He gestured to her body, "You have no idea Evie. How many times ive dreamt of you, and i cant remember it." He sighed and opened the door for her so they could go to dinner.

"I guess thats the breaks i guess. Come on we can take my car. I know this awesome pasta place, small place so you wont be seeing you. I figure we get to know each other on the down low and see how it works out before the big reveal i suppose when your belly starts to grow."
 
She smiled warmly at him. If nothing else, at least he was being very kind about the situation and not blaming her or getting angry. Her ex most definately would have...which was the reason he WAS an ex.

"Sounds lovely." she told him and then followed him to his car. Luckily everyone seemed to be busy breaking down the set so they weren't noticed. She buckled her seatbelt and looked over at him after a few moments.

"You know, you really are being very kind about all of this. I'm sorry to put more pressure on you than you probably already have. I hope I'm not going to upset any relationship you may be in."
 
Jake shook his head as he drove. "My last girlfriend left me for a football player. Somehow she thought i could make her famous or something. Which obviously didnt happen." He pulled into the parking lot of a mini mall and parked in front of the restaurant.

He opened the door for her and led her inside requesting a booth in the back. No body seemed to know Evelyn so it looked like it would be a nice quiet dinner.

He smiled at her, "Saddest part is that you were the first girl i slept with in about a year and i dont remember it. I bet you rocked my world though."
 
She felt bad for him. She knew when you worked in this industry, people were always trying to use you, no matter what position you had. Those who couldn't do for themselves climbed on top of those who could, if those who could weren't careful.

"I'm sorry that you got treated so badly. I don't know what you know about my ex...but he wasn't that great a guy either." she said. She presumed that the horrible temper that her ex, George Harold had, was well known, given his ability to land on the cover of damned near every tabloid ever made.

"So I guess it's safe to say we're both better off." She said and then followed him into the restaurant.

It was a small place, nice and cozy, and better yet, no one seemed to think anything of her being there. They were seated in the back in a comfy round booth and brought water. Everything on the menu looked good to her, and the smells coming from the kitchen were even more heavenly.

She looked at him and smiled when he said she must have rocked his world. "Well you obviously rocked mine." she told him as she sipped her water. "I think I'll have the sundried tomato ravioli" she said as she picked up a bread stick and nibbled on it.

"So Jake, tell me a little about yourself."
 
Jake shrugged, "I wish there was something interesting to tell. Im in film school for directing, ive got a couple screenplays written but they suck. I plan to keygrip until i can work my way into directing." He explained.

"I come from a small family, I live in a cramped small apartment that never has hot water so my showers are always cold. I make barely enough to get by, but i know that the future has good things in store for me....i hope one of them might be you." He blushed.
 
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